by Lori Maguire
Marissa seemed to understand why I had the need to come here. She held back several steps behind me to give me privacy.
When I came upon the bench that I had shared with Stephen, I paused for a moment before I sat down. I glanced out at the choppy water, finding the little white caps to be mesmerizing. I took in a deep breath of the briny smell traveling with the breeze off the water.
Glancing off to the right, I admired the gorgeous sight of the Olympic Mountains. In the distance there was also a pier with what looked like hundreds of sailboats docked. I took my camera out and snapped several shots.
It was hard to believe that just three days ago I sat here with Stephen while he apologized for everything he had done. As the shock over the news of his death faded, anger quickly took its place.
I was angry when I thought about all the years that I wasted with him. Why had I stayed so long? Putting up with his verbal abuse like I did for all those years. Then there was his lying about our reason for not being able to have children, and his affair that everybody knew about but me. The things he’s done to Xavier and me. My miscarriage. Here that son of a bitch claims he can’t live with the pain of what he did, but I lived it. I still am.
“I’m sorry, hon. Do you mind if I sit here with you?” A fragile-sounding, female voice snapped me out of my reverie.
I turned to find a small, gray-haired woman standing next to me. She was bundled up in a thick jacket, heavy sweatpants, and sneakers. Her kind, brown eyes were smiling at me from behind her thick, black glasses. A small, welcoming smile was displayed on her mouth. Her skin was wrinkly, but soft and fragile looking. She immediately reminded me of my grandmother.
“Oh, yes, of course. Excuse me.” I reached over to clean up my camera equipment so she could sit down.
“Thank you, sweets. There once was a time I could walk this whole park without stopping, but not lately. I seem to have hit 85 and just gone downhill,” she said jokingly.
“You look wonderful for 85. I never would’ve guessed.”
“Oh, sweets, I’m 89 now.” I gave her a look of surprise. “You’re too kind. I know I’m old and wrinkly and feeble looking. Not the spring chicken I used to be.” She chuckled. “So, tell me, sweets. Why do you look so sad?”
For a moment, I smiled at her term of endearment, reminding me of the one Xavier uses. I glanced back out at the water unsure of what I wanted to tell this woman. Oddly enough, and I don’t know if it was her grandmotherly way or because she was a complete stranger, I got the strongest urge to tell her everything. So I did.
I explained how I met Stephen in high school, how we were completely inseparable, and got married right after graduation. I talked about the struggles we faced trying to have children only to find out years later how he lied about why we couldn’t conceive, and the years of verbal abuse and what that did to my self-confidence and self-esteem. Having my suspicions about his affair, and how he would try to make me feel like I was going crazy when I would confront him. The anger I felt when I got confirmation of the affair and the divorce that followed. I talked about Renatta and my move out here.
She sat and listened attentively the whole time. Often she would reach out and rub her hand on my forearm, murmuring words of apology or sympathy when needed. I don’t even know how long we were there. Every time I glanced behind me, Marissa sat patiently waiting at a picnic table several feet behind us.
Several minutes passed in silence before the woman spoke. “My first husband was an abusive man. He wasn’t just verbal, but physical as well. Thirteen years I suffered putting up with that nasty SOB.”
I raised my brows at her. “I’m so sorry.”
“Oh, don’t be, sweets. Like you, just the thought of life on my own scared me more than the man I was living with.” She looked over at me and gave me a small smile. “But you … you are so much stronger than I was.” I frowned at her. “You had the courage to get out.”
“I only had the courage to do that, because of my friend, Renatta. If it hadn’t been for her, I would probably still be with him, wasting away.”
“Don’t say that!” she snapped, making me jump. “You still had the courage to stand up to him and leave. That’s more than I ever did,” she said in a softer tone.
“What happened to him? If you don’t mind me asking.”
“A drunk driver took him out as he was coming home from his girlfriend’s house. Best damn day of my life,” she said with a sigh. Looking over at me, her gaze went down to the ring on my left hand before it lingered on my swollen belly. “But you have a new man now, yes?”
“Yes.” A huge smile spread across my face. My right hand immediately went to the rings on my left to fiddle with them. “I actually met him on the flight out here when I was relocating.” I paused for a moment. “Do you believe in love at first sight?” I asked her.
“Oh, honey, if I didn’t then I wouldn’t have married my true husband.”
“You got remarried?”
She nodded. “The day after putting my husband in the ground, I got a flat tire on the way to the supermarket. He pulled up in a fancy pick-up truck. My heart stopped when I saw him. He was tall, dark, and handsome, dressed in a perfect suit. The attraction between us was instant.”
I gaped at her. “How odd. You just described the reaction I had the first time I saw my husband.” I chuckled. “I even called him Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome. In my head, of course.”
“Of course,” she said with a smile before she turned serious. “Roland saved me. He showed me how a man was supposed to love a woman. He taught me how to trust again, how to love without fear and jealousy. He adored me. We were married for fifty-eight blissfully happy years.” A tear escaped her eye before she turned her focus on her wedding ring.
I dug through my bag for a tissue. “Here,” I said, handing it to her. “Fifty-eight years is something to be really proud of.” I softly placed my hand on her forearm. “What happened to him? If you don’t mind me asking,” I asked softly.
“A stroke just six months ago. He went in his sleep. Thank God, he didn’t suffer,” she said, wiping the tissue under her eyes.
“I’m so sorry.” Tears stung my eyes. Clearly she was still struggling with the loss. Maybe she would until the day she dies. I know I would. If I were to lose Xavier, it would be devastating. There wouldn’t be a day that goes by that I’m not reminded of his loss.
She snuffed her nose and straightened up. “Enough talk about death. Tell me, when are you due?” she asked, looking down at my pregnant belly.
“July,” I said, beaming once again. “It’s twins.”
“God bless you, sweets. You’re going to have your hands full,” she said, chuckling. “May I?” she asked, reaching toward my belly.
“Of course,” I said.
With the gentlest of touches, she ran her hand over my belly, pausing for a moment or two in certain places. As if the babies knew someone was touching them through me, they stirred and kicked some. The old woman smiled up at me. “Such a miracle.” Returning her smile, I nodded in agreement with her.
After several minutes, she dropped her hand and shuffled up out of the seat. Looking down at me, she said, “Can I offer you some advice, sweets?” I smiled and nodded at her. “Don’t hang on to your ex-husband’s memory. He can’t hurt you anymore, baby girl. Hanging on to the memory of all the horrible things he’s done to you will just keep him with you right here.” She lifted a hand and patted her chest over her heart. “Let him go. Let go of all the anger and jealousy, the hurt and the pain. Concentrate on the now and the future.” she said, as I followed her gaze down to my pregnant belly.
“Thank you,” I said softly, running my hands over my swollen abdomen. How right she was. I was actually hoping to be able to bury my memories of Stephen right along with him tomorrow, but I think this lovely old woman just helped me do that. “I’m sorry. I didn’t catch your … name …” Holy shit! She was gone. I jumped up off the bench and looked all around
. She was nowhere in sight. She just … vanished.
Marissa got up from the bench and walked over to me. “Are you ready to go?”
“Where did that old woman go?” I asked, still looking around.
“I don’t know. I’m sorry, Ella. I wasn’t paying attention. I’ve been texting with Stewart about tomorrow,” she said, apologetically.
“It’s all right.” I glanced down at my watch surprised to see it was a little after four in the afternoon. “Yeah, I’m ready to go,” I said, reaching down for my camera bag.
Marissa started to head off toward the car. I only got a few steps from the bench, when I reached into my jacket pocket to warm my hands. My fingers immediately found the small item I had brought with me. I pulled it out of my pocket. Resting in the palm of my hand was my gold wedding band from Stephen.
I found it the other day as I was going through my jewelry. I’m not sure why I ever kept it. Spotting it on my dresser this morning before I left, I grabbed it with plans of stopping at a pawnshop to get rid of it.
I stopped walking and glanced out over the Sound. Closing my fingers around the ring, I squeezed my hand around it for a moment. “Goodbye, Stephen,” I murmured. Throwing my hand out toward the water, I watched as the ring sailed through the air. As it disappeared under the blue depths of the water, I thought of the ring as a weight. A weight that was tied to all the baggage I had that was because of Stephen. Baggage that was no longer mine to carry.
As soon as Marissa and I got back to the SUV, I asked her to take me to Xavier’s office instead of home. I had the strongest desire to see him. Right. Now.
The drive there felt like it was taking forever. We seemed to get stuck behind every truck, school bus, or slow person that was on the road. I sent a text to Patrick to make sure Xavier was still at the office. Thankfully, he responded quickly. Xavier was in a meeting that was running a little late. I was in luck.
Marissa parked in the parking garage in one of Xavier’s designated spots. The elevator took its sweet time getting to Xavier’s floor. As soon as the doors slid open, I bolted into the lobby.
“Later, Marissa. Hey, Carmen,” I shouted, waving at them over my shoulder as I pushed my way through the doors into the office.
Patrick was at his desk. He jumped up as soon as he saw me. Wrapping his arms around me for a quick hug, he laughed when my belly bumped his abdomen. “You look terrific!” he said, glancing down at my belly.
“Thank you,” I beamed. “Is he in?” I asked, gesturing my chin towards Xavier’s office.
“The meeting should be breaking up any minute. Go on in. I’ll let him know you’re here.”
“Oh, no. Wait. I want it to be a surprise. Besides, I’m afraid if you let him know I’m here, he’ll think something is wrong and come right away.”
Patrick laughed. “Oh, how true that is. You know him so well, Ella. Can I get you anything?”
“Some water would be fantastic. Thank you, Patrick.”
“I’m on it,” he said, winking at me.
I walked into Xavier’s office and stopped. Sitting on the conference table was a woman’s pocketbook. Resting on the chair in front of it was a woman’s blazer. Normally, the sight of this would have sent me into a jealous tailspin. But as I stood there analyzing what I was currently feeling, I realized there was no reason for me to be jealous. Xavier had working relationships with a lot of women. He’s never given me any reason to doubt him. There was no need to be jealous.
“Ella. What a surprise.” That familiar, seductive-sounding voice had me spinning around with a huge smile on my face, which immediately slid off when I took in the look of concern on his.
Looking rather uncomfortable, he glanced over at his companion before he looked back at me. He took a couple steps to the side trying to put a little more distance between him and the woman he entered his office with. It took me a moment to realize that he was acting this way because he was worried about my jealous reaction.
Smiling at the two of them, I made my way across the room. I kissed Xavier on the cheek before I turned to the woman. I extended my hand out to her. “Hello. I’m Ella.”
She looked at Xavier and back to me before she wrapped her hand around mine and shook it lightly. “Hello. I’m Mary. It’s nice to meet you, Ella.” She was gorgeous. She had sleek, shoulder-length, chocolate-brown hair, deep brown eyes that were surrounded by thick, dark lashes, and perfectly, plump lips that were sporting a glossy red color. She was about my height, minus her designer heels. She was dressed in a black pencil skirt with a white button-down shirt that made her look more like a sexy librarian than any other kind of professional.
“This is my wife, Mary,” he said to the woman proudly as he wrapped an arm around my waist. “Ella, this is Mary Alpine. She’s the CFO of Alpine Enterprises out of Los Angeles. We’ll be doing business together.”
“It’s so nice to meet you, Mary.”
Before she could say anything, Patrick knocked on the doorjamb. “I’ve got your water, Ella,” he said, making his way into the office.
“Excuse me,” I said to Xavier and Mary as I made my way over to Patrick. I took the glass from him and drank greedily.
“Xavier, I should be going. I have a flight to catch,” Mary said, grabbing her bag and jacket.
“Appreciate you making the trip, Mary. Uh …” Glancing over at me for a brief moment, I smiled at him, trying to let him know that I was okay. “Allow me to walk you out,” he said to her, gesturing toward the door.
“It was a pleasure to meet you, Mary,” I said, smiling at her. “Have a safe flight.” I noticed Xavier standing behind her with an odd look on his face. She thanked me and the two of them left his office.
Xavier was only gone for a few brief moments. As he entered his office, he looked at me as if he didn’t know me. “Okay, who are you and what have you done with my wife?”
I smiled and chuckled at him. “Were you waiting for me to scratch her eyes out?”
He nodded slowly. “Yeah, something like that,” he murmured.
“Do I have a reason to be jealous of her?” I asked, raising my brows at him.
“God, no!” he immediately and emphatically said.
“Okay then.” I waltzed over to him, wrapped my arms around him, and kissed him. When I pulled back, he had a look of surprise on his face. “What?”
“If I had known that knocking you up and marrying you, would have made the green-eyed goddess disappear, I would’ve done it months ago.”
“It’s not the pregnancy, and it wasn’t the wedding that did it. It’s you.” I thought for a moment about what the old woman said to me today. “You saved me from that green-eyed goddess. You’ve taught me how to trust again, how to love without fear and jealousy, and I can’t thank you enough.”
He placed his hands on the either side of my face, and pulled me toward him. Closing his eyes, he rested his forehead against mine. “Thank you, sweetness,” he whispered then he sighed deeply. “What do you say to some P.F. Chang’s for dinner?” I moaned at the mention of my favorite Chinese restaurant. “Let’s stop off and get it to go. I have something I want to show you.”
Xavier was pulling off the Bainbridge Island ferry, when my stomach let out a loud grumble. The smell from the Chinese food filled his SUV with the delicious scent of chicken, garlic, beef, onions, and peppers. I was ready to dive into the bag if we didn’t get to our destination soon. As if he could read my mind, Xavier said, “We’re almost there.”
Minutes later, we pulled up to a black iron gate that I thought looked oddly familiar. He rolled the window down and entered in a code on a keypad. The gate silently swung open. Xavier drove through and continued up a narrow driveway. It was dark so it was difficult to see exactly where we were. There were an abundance of trees, but that was about all I could make out in the darkness. Suddenly, lights started to flicker through the trees.
“Oh. My. God,” I breathed, suddenly realizing where we were. Xavier was taking m
e to that beautiful 10,000 square foot home that Renatta and I photographed months and months ago. The gorgeous home with the exposed cedar beams, a fireplace in every bedroom, and the over abundance of floor-to-ceiling windows.
We talked about seeing this house that night on the beach during our honeymoon. No wonder he never bought me out to see it like he said he would. He had already bought it.
We pulled up to the house. It looked spectacular at night. There were several lights on inside the house that cast a soft, yellow glow, making it easy to see in the house with all that glass. My eyes widened when I realized it was furnished. I looked over at Xavier in surprise as he parked the SUV.
“When did you do all of this?” I asked dumbfounded.
“I know we talked about it briefly during our honeymoon, but I wanted it to be a surprise. I bought it as soon as we got home. I had an interior decorator furnish it. If you don’t like anything, just let me know and we’ll change it.”
“But … what about your condo?”
“I’m going to keep it. Since my office is in Seattle, there may be a few nights I might have to stay there.” He turned the SUV off. “Come on. Let me show you your new home.” He reached in the back and grabbed our dinner.
When I walked around the car, he took my hand in his and led me up the white stone steps. He unlocked the double doors, and swung one open. Before I could step a foot inside, he lifted me into his arms. I yelped in surprise.
“Welcome home, Mrs. Hart,” he said softly.
He carried me into the house effortlessly. Setting me down in the middle of the living room, he made his way into the kitchen with the bag of food. I looked around in awe. I forgot how beautiful this place was with all the exposed wood, the stone fireplace, all the space and the glass. It was stunning.
Bringing my focus to the furniture around me, it immediately reminded me of Xavier’s condo. Briefly, I wondered if he used the same interior decorator. It was all neutral colors and expensive-looking leather.
