by Winters, W.
I loved him, and I knew he loved me. Even if he would only ever be a friend.
But my father could never know about us and when Nik moved up in the ranks and I grew bolder, my father grew suspicious. I don’t think Nikolai ever wanted to risk his position for me.
And I didn’t want to risk our friendship.
What I had with him was nothing like this.
“Who was it?” Carter asks me. “More than one?” His head tilts as he releases my hand and my heart beats like a war drum.
“None of your business,” I tell him playfully and grab both of his wrists to move his hands to the armrests of the chair. “Let me play,” I tell him as if it’s a command, but the words come out as if I’m begging.
He doesn’t answer me, but his fingers wrap around the armrests and he doesn’t say anything to stop me.
I fumble with the button, my nerves getting the better of me as I move to my knees in between his legs. The sound of his pants rustling and the deep hum of desire from Carter’s chest fuel me to ignore my nerves.
He lifts his hips to help me after I unzip his pants and his cock juts out in front of my face. Shock catches me off guard. It’s larger than I thought. Veiny and thick. Instantly, I wonder how he fit inside of me. Squirming in front of him, I know he knows what I’m thinking. The rough and masculine chuckle gives it away.
I glance up at him as I wrap his dick with both my hands. I can’t possibly close my fingers around him, but the part that worries me is how I’ll fit him in my mouth.
I imagined taking all of him and pleasuring him to the point where he couldn’t control himself, but now I question if I can take a fraction of him without gagging.
Slowly, Carter lifts his hand as if asking for permission and moves it to the back of my head. “You can lick it first,” he offers low and deep, not hiding how his breathing has hitched.
The bead of precum at his slit entices me to lick it, and so I do. A blush and pride rise to heat my cheeks as the man seated in front of me shudders at my touch.
His large hand splays and brings me closer to him, urging me on for more. But I tsk him, grabbing his hand and placing it back where it belongs on the armrest.
He readjusts in his seat, but his eyes never leave mine. They’re darker than before, which only makes the silver specks stand out even more. The heat there leaves me wanting and I lean forward, finding my pleasure by covering the head of his cock with my lips.
The salty taste of precum and the feel of Carter’s thighs tightening under my forearms as I brace myself, make me moan with my mouth full of him.
“Fuck,” he groans, and his hips buck slightly, pushing him further into my mouth, moving against the roof and down my throat. And I take him easily, although my teeth scrape along his dick.
Using my lips to shield my teeth, I put pressure on his cock, taking every inch of him that I can.
My eyes burn as I lower myself more and more, and each time I get hotter and hotter for him. The thought of getting on top of him and taking my pleasure from him crosses my mind, but I resist. I want to show him I can give him pleasure like he gives me.
My nails dig into my thighs as I feel the head of his dick hit the back of my throat. It takes everything I have not to react. To not pull away and gasp for air as he suffocates me when his hips tip up and he shoves himself just a bit past my breaking point.
I sputter slightly, forcing him out of my mouth so I can breathe. I lean back but I don’t stop. Even knowing there’s saliva around my mouth, I keep working his cock with my hand and quickly take him back in and try to deep throat him again. The deep, gruff groan that Carter unleashes as I hollow my cheeks makes me feel like a queen. Like a powerful queen able to bring this man to his knees.
Through my lashes, I peek at him. At his stiff position and his blunt nails digging into the leather of his chair as he holds onto it instead of reaching out for me. My eyes drift upward as I take him deeper, trying to swallow. And at that moment Carter breaks.
“Enough,” he bites out and stands up, pulling his cock from my mouth and leaving me on my ass in front of him. My palms hit the floor hard, but I don’t care. The only feeling in my body I care about is the throbbing pulse between my thighs.
I can barely control my breathing as I look up at him. Carter Cross. Unhinged and unable to give up control. “I want you,” I plead with him from beneath him.
It’s true. I want him, and I’m unwilling to hide that fact any longer.
He turns his back to me, his pants sagging around his waist until he shoves them down, showing me his tight ass and muscular thighs.
His forearm braces against his desk and in one swift motion he clears it all to the floor. The phone, pens, his laptop, the papers. They flutter and crash to the ground all at once, but none of those things matter. The only thing I can do is stay victim to the intensity of Carter’s needs.
“I want you to ride my face. I need to feel you cum on my tongue.” His words make the ache between my thighs even greater. My need to feel him come undone even stronger.
My legs feel weak and ready to buckle as I stand, but it doesn’t matter. Carter grips my hips and forces a yelp from me as he lies across his desk, his still-hard cock jutting out as he lets me sit on his chest.
Before a single word is spoken in between my gasps for breath, Carter shoves my skirt up and shreds my panties.
As I watch the tattered lingerie fall to the floor, Carter reaches for my blouse, ripping it from the top and exposing my breasts. He tears at my clothes like they’re nothing. And they may as well be, judging by how quickly and easily they fall to his whim.
He said he wanted me to ride him. But Carter’s a fucking liar. His fingers grip the flesh of my hips and ass and he keeps me right where he wants me. He drags his tongue from my opening up to my clit, where he sucks to the point of me falling forward with a blinding pleasure that lights every nerve ending on fire.
My breasts hit the desk above his head and as I scream out, the door to the office opens.
I cover myself and try to hide, but Carter’s still ravaging my pussy when I catch Daniel’s shocked expression.
“Fuck,” is all he says, and he turns as quickly as he can to leave, reaching behind him for the doorknob but failing to grab it. I’d laugh if I wasn’t petrified, knowing I’m about to cum. The pleasure swirls into a storm in my belly and threatens to ride through every limb, moving to the tips of my fingers in waves.
“I’m going to cum,” I cry out to the ceiling as Carter lifts me off him, shoving me down against his hard cock where it brushes against my ass, so he can see who the hell opened the door.
The door slams shut finally, and Carter sits up, making me fall back against the desk while his thick cock runs along the length of my pussy and I cum. The feel of his cock just barely brushing up against my entrance is what does it.
I cum violently, with my face and every inch of my body heated. I can hear Carter grabbing his pants and pulling them up his legs even as the pleasure rolls through me, paralyzing me and heating my body all at once.
Daniel Cross, brother to the most powerful man I’ve ever met, just witnessed me riding Carter’s face and taking my pleasure from him.
I shudder as my hand reaches up to cover my breasts. I can barely breathe as I hear Carter pull up his zipper.
I should feel shame of some sort. But I can’t bring myself to do it. I feel nothing but sated, breathless and fulfilled.
“I have to see what Daniel needs. Leave one heel on each side of the desk,” Carter commands me while grabbing each of my ankles and spreading my legs apart on his desk. “Wait for me.”
He grips my hips, pulling me closer to the edge of the desk as I nod. My skirt is rumpled around me and my hands instantly move to my pussy.
“If you want to touch yourself, do it.” His command comes in between his ragged breaths. “Cum as much as you want while I’m gone.”
I lie there, my back on his desk, my ass directed to the
seat he rules in and my chest heaving as he leaves me.
I’m still catching my breath when I hear the door close.
Touch yourself, I hear his words again and moan just from the command. From the deep voice and cadence that can only come from a man’s voice filled with desire.
My fingers trail over my clit, but I can’t do it.
I’m so sensitive to even the slightest touch that I have to stop my movements before pushing myself over. I can’t do it. It’s so intense, I simply can’t bring myself to the edge.
I clench around nothing, I picture Carter between my legs, on top of me, smothering me with his weight as he pounds into me and I have to scissor my legs. My hands fly to my hair, pushing it from my face and trying to get a grip.
When I open my eyes, I stare at the blank ceiling, accompanied only by my heavy breathing and the ticking of the clock.
It doesn’t stop ticking, but with each stroke, my needs diminish, and my sanity comes back to me.
I lie there for what feels like hours, and when I check the clock, it’s accurate. Over an hour has passed, my back is stiff and the desire I had is all but gone, subdued by concern, replaced with a feeling of rejection. As I sit up, everything hurts. My back, especially. I stare at the door, willing Carter to come to get me. But he doesn’t come back.
Not this hour and not the next.
Any bit of power I felt, fades to nothing, which is exactly what I feel like when I slink out of the room, covering myself with the torn shirt.
* * *
I haven’t stopped staring at the clock in the bedroom and wondering if I should go back to the office. I can’t possibly lie there waiting for him for hours. I’m almost certain he didn’t expect that when he left me.
But every minute that passes warns me to go back. To stop defying Carter and show him that I can be what he wants, and maybe that would convince him to do what I want. To spare my family.
The pride and thrill are long gone and in their place only uncertainty.
All I’m doing is worrying as I restlessly wait in Carter’s bed.
The moment I hear the click of the door opening, I sit up straight in bed, getting on my knees, clutching the sheets to my chest.
Carter walks in slowly, his gaze on the floor. He looks exhausted and beat down like I’ve never seen him. I can’t get a word out, shocked by the sight of him in this state, but the excuses I’ve drummed up and rehearsed in the last few hours don’t matter anyway.
He apologizes. Carter apologizes to me for the second time in only a matter of two days.
“I’m sorry I kept you waiting this long. I didn’t realize...” his voice trails off as he heads to the dresser, carelessly dropping his Rolex into a drawer and then taking his time to strip down.
The muscles in his shoulders ripple as he undresses with his back to me.
“Is everything okay?” I ask him, daring to pry.
His five o’clock shadow is thick, and his eyes look heavy. It’s only then that I wonder if he slept at all last night.
I barely sleep as it is, and Carter’s always awake when I drift off and always out of bed when I wake up.
“Daniel isn’t in a good place at the moment,” he tells me in a single drawn-out breath before climbing into bed.
“Problems with Addison?” I can only guess.
Carter’s gaze turns curious, but also guarded as he watches me scoot closer to him. I wonder how much of this is an act, and how much of this is really my desire to get closer to Carter as I let my hand fall to his chest. It’s awkward at first for me to lay my cheek on his bare chest while my fingers play with the smattering of chest hair that leads lower and lower. But the more he allows it, the more he wraps his arm around me like I belong there, the more comfortable I feel taking what I want from him.
“What do you know about her?” he asks me, and I feel the words rumble from his chest.
“Just that she’s with Daniel,” I tell him and then remember the first time I saw her. How upset both of them were over something I wasn’t privy to. I add quietly, “I think they love each other.”
I don’t have to look up to know that Carter’s smiling, but I do. But the small smile is weak; the bleakness can’t be hidden even by Carter’s handsome lips.
“She’s not handling lockdown well,” he confides in me. Lockdown. I’ve heard the term more than once. I know what it means, and it reminds me of the reality. My father would often leave me in the safe house for days at a time if he had to leave during lockdown. It was better when he would only be gone for hours and I could hide in my room, which I did regardless of whether we were on lockdown or not.
The words are barely spoken as my chest tightens. “I can imagine.”
“You stayed in your cell for longer than I thought you would without submitting to me. You have a mental strength that most don’t.” I don’t know how to take Carter’s statement. It’s not a compliment, although it feels like it.
“Still, I can see her wanting to leave. To not be…” I try to think of the right word, a word that won’t upset Carter and ruin the conversation. My fingers weave around the thin chain ever present around my neck. The expensive necklace that’s truly a collar.
“Tethered?” Carter questions and I can only nod, my cheek brushing against his chest as I stare straight ahead.
The silence lasts longer than I’d like it to, but all I can do is listen to the steady rhythm of Carter’s heart until he speaks.
“She’s safe here. She’s cared for.” The way he says his words is careful, yet tense. That, combined with the way his heart picks up its pace, makes me think we’re not talking about Addison anymore.
“What would you tell her then?” I ask him, wanting an insight into Carter’s thoughts. “The moment she’s alone and the thoughts of leaving race back to her?” I have to know what he would say. “What would you tell her?”
Carter moves for the first time since I’ve settled next to him. He lifts the arm wrapped around me and lets his fingers slowly trail along my skin as if he’s carefully considering his answer. He kisses my hair once, then twice before using his other hand to lift up my chin and force me to look at him. His touch is gentle. So gentle it could break me.
“I’d tell her she has someone here who loved her before she even knew the darkest levels to where love can take you. And that there’s no better protection from the shit life we lead than that.”
My heart stops. I feel it cease to beat as he continues to stare at me, and I can’t will it to move again. There’s nothing but sincerity in his gaze and the last bit of guard I have crumbles.
Love. The word love breaks something deep inside of me.
“I need this one for me,” Carter says before I can respond. He rolls over, pinning me beneath him and fucks me roughly, kisses me ravenously and then holds me to him, my back to his chest. All the while I break more and more. So much so, that I know I’ll never be the same again.
Chapter 10
Carter
“What’s the update?” I ask Jase, leaning against the wall in the hall. My eyes stay pinned on the carved glass doorknob with my thoughts on what’s behind it.
“Same as before.” Jase’s answer comes out low as we both see Aria and Daniel making their way toward us. They’re far enough away that she won’t be able to hear. Her fingers twist around one another as she walks quickly to keep up with Daniel’s pace.
I don’t know what Daniel tells her with a wide grin, but it cracks the solemn look on her face and she smiles back at him.
“Romano’s ready to strike when we are. As far as everyone knows, it’s the two of us taking out Talvery.”
“And the drug? What about the buyers hoarding it?”
“They’re all saying Marcus. But it’s only a name.” I know what he’s getting at. When a man is close to death, he’ll tell you anything you want to know, either to make his ending quick or to try to save himself. Four men now, each hoarding the drug we know to be lethal and each
only giving up a single name in their last breath. Those are the only four buying in bulk, except for the girl I saw a week ago. I’d rather not seek her out, but our options are dwindling.
“Why not give more information?”
Jase’s palm presses against the wall and I can feel his gaze on me as he leans closer. “What does he have on them that they keep his secrets even as they die?”
“Maybe they don’t know anything else,” I offer, but Jase shakes his head. I only glance up at him because of Aria. She sees his expression and the bit of happiness Daniel provided her instantly vanishes.
Jase looks worried, angry even with a scowl plastered across his face.
“We’ll talk about it later,” I tell him lowly, but he doesn’t stop.
“They didn’t give me anything. Not a drop-off point, not a procedure or any details at all.” He leans in closer to me to emphasize, “Only a name.”
Our gazes are locked for a moment longer than they should be.
Daniel clears his throat at the same time that I hear his and Aria’s footsteps come to a stop behind me.
“Then we have a name,” I tell Jase and a small twitch gathers on the corner of his lips.
“Later,” I remind him. “We’ll talk later.” He nods, pushing off the wall and finally nodding a hello to Aria.
“I hope you like it,” Jase tells her, and she glances between the two of us, not knowing what the hell he’s talking about.
As Daniel and Jase walk away, heading back the way Daniel and Aria came, she tells him, thank you, to which she’s given a smile from both of my brothers.
Her nervousness is still visible as she barely glances toward me and continues to run her fingers along the seam of her blouse. Anything out of the normal routine causes this reaction in her.
