by T L Swan
I frown as I take a sip of my coffee. “That’s annoying,” I mutter.
“Tell me about it. I want you to stay at your mother’s while I am working,” he says matter-of-factly as he stands and takes his suit out of its bag.
I screw up my face. “Huh. What for?”
“I just do.”
“I’m just not,” I reply.
“Yes, you will be. Don’t start your shit,” he snaps.
I drink my coffee again. Here it comes, I forgot about this side of his personality. Hmm, funnily enough I haven’t missed it at all.
“I live here on my own, Joshua. I think I am safe.”
He shrugs. “I don’t care what you think, you are not staying here alone. End of story.” He turns and walks back out of the room.
I lie in bed as I fume. What the hell is this about? He is acting all boyfriendy when he has specifically told me that he doesn’t want to get back together. I would love to throw that in his face but I don’t want to push him and get the wrong answer. He’s so damn confusing.
I walk into the kitchen where he is making me breakfast. This domestic version of Joshua Stanton is simply delicious and I smile broadly.
He raises his eyebrows in question. “Yes,” he murmurs.
“A girl could get used to this.”
“Could she now?” he smirks as he puts my breakfast on the counter.
I cuddle him from behind. “Yes, she could.”
He turns to make his protein shake.
I sit at my breakfast bench. “Thank you,” I smile.
He smirks and takes a sip of his shake. “So will you go home with your mother tonight straight from the hospital?” he asks.
I take a bite of my food and shake my head. “No, I told you I am staying here.”
He raises his eyebrows. “And I told you that you are not.”
I chew my food and swallow so I can speak. “You are not the boss of me, Joshua. You can’t tell me what to do.”
He drinks his shake as he glares at me. “Seeing as I had my hands on the back of your head and my cock in your mouth for half of the night, I am the boss of you and you will do what I say.”
I glare at him, of all the nerve. The words booty call rattles around in my empty head. “Maybe tonight when that cock is in my mouth I just might bite it off,” I snap.
He smiles broadly. “Try it, see what happens to you.” He takes a drink of his shake. “And you won’t be here tonight, you will be at your mother’s.”
I can’t help it and my face mirrors his stupid smile. “Stop it.” I shake my head.
“You stop it. I don’t want you here alone because I don’t want anything to happen to you while I am at work.”
I frown. “Josh, I have been here on my own for eight months since you left. Nothing is going to happen to me. Max takes care of me and if I get too scared he sleeps in the spare room.”
He folds his arms in front of him as he stares at me. “Really.”
I raise my eyebrows. “Really, and if you are going to make me have a bodyguard it is Max or nothing, the choice is yours.”
“No, I think I am going to swap Max with Ben,” he says in his best matter-of-fact voice.
I narrow my eyes. “Don’t you dare. I am not hanging around with Ben. No way in hell.”
“Well do as you’re told,” he snaps. He then walks into the bathroom and runs the shower.
I sit still at my kitchen bench and look at my eggs on toast as my blood starts to boil. All I want to do is yell you are not my boyfriend so shut up. But I need to keep calm and play the game, I want to win him back at all costs … this is going to be a damn tough assignment.
Adrian
The night before
I walk up the street towards the restaurant I am meeting Nicholas in. How did I let him ambush me like this? My security is trailing behind me and I am painfully aware of their presence. I’m proud to be gay but when I have people watching me on a date, or a brush off in this case, I feel uncomfortable. I guess everyone who has security trailing them everywhere feels like this. Joshua hates it probably more than me. Apparently at his dinner date with Tash the other night she cried at the table and he was mortified that they had security witnessing the whole nightmare. I hope they catch this maniac soon. We could all do with some much needed privacy. I blow out a breath in a nervous gesture. Nicholas keeps telling me there was something there between us on the last date and he wasn’t wrong … there was too much there. Too much sexual energy, too much intelligence and humour, too much yearning for intimacy and I know it can only end badly. He lives in France for heaven’s sake. I’m nipping it in the bud before it turns sour, as relationships always do for me. What I don’t like though is the way he has called me out on it. He obviously doesn’t get the brush off very often. Today when he rang me he was furious and told me if I don’t go out to dinner with him alone tonight he will come into the office and ambush me in front of whoever is there and he doesn’t give a fuck who hears what he has to say, those exact words.
I get out my phone to check the number of the street the restaurant is on. We are going to O’Shea’s, an oyster bar and restaurant. It’s just up here. I stop out the front and peer in through the window and turn to my two security guards who are four or five metres behind me. After the graffiti in our office back home a month ago, with the words Joshua Stanton and Adrian Murphy Next written in blood on our office wall, Ben has been security crazy. Joshua and I are being guarded to a ridiculous degree. The police don’t know whose blood the writing was in, but it’s messed with all of our heads. If you are crazy enough to use your own blood to graffiti someone’s office it’s a nightmare. If it wasn’t his blood … that’s worse.
“Just wait out here please. I will be fine,” I ask the bodyguards.
Their eyes flick to each other and they nod. “Ok, no worries.”
I open the large heavy doors and enter the restaurant tentatively as I look around. Nicholas stands up next to a table at the rear of the restaurant and waves. I smile and make my way over to him.
God, what am I doing here? I nervously walk over. He is dressed in a grey suit, white shirt and grey tie, and his tall stature dominates the space around him. His longish dark hair , hangs just above his collar and has a curl to it and he is wearing a long five o’clock shadow. His piercing dark eyes penetrate mine. He brings the term Greek God into a new stratosphere. Fuck!
He smiles warmly and holds out his hand to shake mine. I smile, take it and am immediately jolted by a strong charge of sexual energy. Oh, he’d be good alright. I feel myself harden, and my
eyes drop immediately to try and hide my arousal. He smirks and keeping hold of my hand, he lifts it up and tenderly kisses the back of it.
“Hello,” he smiles with my hand still in his.
“Hello,” I smile as I nervously pull my hand from his grip. The intensity of this guy is off the hook.
He holds out his hand to the table. “Take a seat,” he smiles.
I sit at the table for two towards the back of the restaurant. It is adorned with six flickering candles at all different heights. The crowd is eclectic and the music is earthy. The restaurant is quite dark and the candles on all of the tables add to the ambience.
“Would you like to order some drinks?” the waitress asks.
My eyes flick to Nicholas whose eyes are firmly on me. He smiles affectionately and I blow out a breath and read the drink menu. Right.
“I’ll have a Martini please.” I look at Nicholas.
‘I’ll have the same.” He smiles at the waitress and then back at me.
She leaves us alone. I don’t think I have ever been so nervous—why does he make me feel like this?
“I don’t like being ambushed into dates with people,” I say dryly as I pretend to read the menu.
He nods. “I don’t like having to ambush you to see me either.”
“So why do it then?”
He smiles. “Because I wanted to see you and I kne
w it was the only way I could get you here.”
“Ok, you have seen me, what now?” I raise my eyebrows in question as I look at him blankly.
He smiles broadly. “Are you always such a charming date?”
I smile in embarrassment. “No, you are getting the deluxe package.”
He smiles and picks up the menu. “I see. How have you been?” he asks.
“Ok. You?”
“I’m good. Our last meeting has left me a little confused though.” His eyes search mine.
I frown. Let’s just get right into it then. “Why?” I ask trying to feign nonchalance.
“Because I had the best night I had had in years and then you walked me out to the car remember.”
I look down nervously as my heart rate picks up. “Yes, I remember.” I rearrange the napkin on the table.
“You kissed me.” His gaze penetrates mine.
My eyes rise to meet his. “Yes,” I whisper.
“It was insane.” He bites his bottom lip as he looks at me. “Off the charts. I know you felt it too.”
My eyes flick around the room in uncomfortable tension. “Look, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have kissed you. I …” I shrug my shoulders as words escape me.
He smiles sexily. “Don’t apologize, I’m not complaining.”
My eyes meet his. “What are you doing then?”
“Here you are.” The waitress puts our two drinks on the table.
“Thank you,” I smile. My eyes flick back to the ridiculously hot, intelligent man across the table from me.
“I want to know why you never returned any of my calls,” he asks.
I look around the restaurant in annoyance. I don’t need this shit.
“I’m sorry if you don’t get brushed often but I am not after anything and I don’t fuck around so …” I shake my head as I try to articulate my thoughts. “What’s the point? You live in France remember. Besides it was six months ago—why are you bringing this up now?”
He puts his hand across the table and grabs mine, and I swallow as I look at our entwined hands. “I’m bringing this up because the thought of you has been haunting me for six months and I want to know if you have ever thought of me?”
My eyes meet his. “Maybe,” I answer quietly.
“It’s a yes or no answer,” he says dryly.
“Yes,” I reply as I look at him again.
He squeezes my hand. “What have you thought?”
I swallow nervously and shrug my shoulders. “I wondered what would have happened if I called you.”
He smiles a broad smile at me and raises his eyebrows. “You did?” he whispers. “So what did you think would have happened between us?”
I shrug. “It probably wouldn’t have gone anywhere to be honest. I’m not into the whole casual sex thing and I’m guessing someone who looks like you is.” I smile.
He licks his lips as he smirks. “To be honest most men do throw themselves at my feet and I feel nothing, not interested at all and then you come along with your masculinity, intelligence and don’t give a fuck attitude and throw me completely off balance and yet you want nothing to do with me. It’s … frustrating.”
I laugh. “Is that how I come across? Masculine, intelligent and don’t give a fuck.”
He takes a sip of his drink and nods. It is then I notice that he is still holding my hand across the table. I immediately pull out of his grasp.
He smiles and looks at his outstretched arm on the table and pulls it back slowly. “You are different to most men I have met, Adrian.”
I raise an eyebrow. “How so?”
“You’re very masculine and yet have an inner gentle quality. You’re intensely sexual and yet you don’t sleep around, even though you are one of the best-looking men I have ever met. Your two best friends are straight and yet you are entirely comfortable being gay. You’re very intelligent and portray strength as you run the company and look after your two best friends, but it makes me wonder. When all is done and dusted, who looks after you, Adrian? Who satisfies you sexually … emotionally? Who loves you when you come home from work each night?” His eyes darken and drop to my lips.
I sit back affronted and look at him in horror. Who says that on a first date?
“That’s very deep.” I stammer. “You got all that info on me from dinner six months ago?”
He smiles into his drink. “Perks to being a psychologist.”
I smile as I drain my glass. “My best friend is in love with a psychologist and he reckons it’s the biggest mind fuck in history.”
“Is that Joshua?”
I nod and smile.
“Is he back with Natasha?” he asks.
“No, but hopefully they will work it out.”
“You have an affection for Natasha?”
I smile. “I adore her. Joshua’s life is crazy, super rich, and yet Natasha is this beautiful pure soul who has loved him since they were kids. They are first cousins and have fought this attraction since they were teenagers. I don’t know two people more in love.”
He raises his eyebrows. “Wow.” He smiles as our meal arrives. “Have you ever been in love Adrian?”
I swallow nervously. “I thought I was once.”
He smiles wistfully and takes a mouthful of food. “Do tell.”
I shrug my shoulders. “It’s quite pathetic when I say it out loud really. I entered my first relationship when I was fifteen and we were together six years. We were madly in love and I wanted to come out, but he didn’t. I couldn’t live my life pretending I was someone that I wasn’t, that he was just my flatmate. My parents knew about us so I thought it would be ok but, in the end, it wasn’t, he freaked out and ran. He even hooked up with a girl to prove to the world he was straight. I will never forget the night he came to me crying, to tell me that she was pregnant and that he was going to marry her.” My gut twists at the memory and I take a large gulp of my drink. “And now I have the honour of every time he gets drunk, him calling me and telling me how much he loves me and misses me and that he made the biggest mistake of his life and yet he can do nothing about it because he is now a father of three.” I look around the room in annoyance that he got me to say that out loud. “So when you ask me have I ever been in love, I tell you if that’s love I want nothing to do with it ever again.”
He looks at me affectionately and grabs my hand over the table again and I squeeze it in a thankful gesture. I can’t believe I just told him that, I have never told anyone other than Josh and Cam.
“I see.” He nods.
“You?” I ask. Trying to take the spotlight off myself.
He nods and takes a sip of his drink. “I was married,” he says quietly.
Oh shit, that’s right. My stomach drops. “What happened?” I ask quietly, already knowing the horrible answer.
“He died eight years ago in a snow-skiing accident,” he says sadly.
I squeeze his hand again. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “What does that feel like? To love somebody so intensely that you want to marry them?” I ask as I smile.
He shrugs. “Scary I suppose.” He smiles broadly as he puts his elbow on the table and leans on his
hand. “You will find out one day. I wouldn’t write yourself off just yet. How old are you anyway?” He frowns.
I smile. “How old are you?” I ask.
“Probably too old for you,” he answers.
I smile. “Without a question.”
He smirks. “I’m forty-two.”
“You are old,” I smile. “I’m twenty-seven.”
He smiles warmly at me. “Let’s forget about age and pasts and futures and just enjoy some time getting to know each other while we are both in Sydney. What do you say?”
“I don’t normally hang around with hot middle-aged men.” I smile.
“I don’t usually hang around with blond Americans either so we are even.” He smiles at me with a rather beautiful twinkle in his eye.
What the hell am I doing?
Natasha
I walk down the street toward the café near the hospital that I work out and my phone rings.
“What time is your lunch break? I’m coming to have lunch with you.”
I smile. It’s Jesten.
“Jes, I’m on lunch now.”
“See you in ten. I’m around the corner.” He hangs up. Shit, now I’ve done it.
I wait in the meeting spot near the café and he walks around the corner, smiling broadly. He laughs and pulls me into an embrace and picks me up and spins me around.
“Hey, hot Doc.” He holds me at arm’s length and looks me up and down. “You are especially smoking today.” He winks.
I laugh and he pulls me into an embrace and we walk down the street with his arm casually draped around me. Why do I feel so comfortable with him?
“Why have you been ditching me?” he asks.
“I haven’t. I’ve just been really busy that’s all,” I sigh.
We eat lunch in comfortable silence and I am painfully aware of the security trailing us. I have had lunch with Jes heaps of times over the last couple of months and yet now I’m freaking out that someone is going to tell Joshua.
“Have you been going out much?” I ask.
He nods as he shovels in his food. “Yeah. You?”
I shake my head. “Not really. I have just been hanging at the hospital every chance I get.”
“I’ve been training a bit. I’m fighting again next week.”
I roll my eyes. “Please don’t talk to me about your ridiculous sport. It’s embarrassing that you would think I would be remotely interested.”
He smiles broadly as he shovels in another mouthful of food. “My trainer rang me today to tell me that your ex-boyfriend is back in the country and that today he registered to fight.”
I stop with my fork midair. “What?” I stammer as my eyes widen.
“He is the only person who has beaten me so far and I have gotten a lot better since then.”
I look at him, mortified.
He fake punches his fist. “Can’t wait to take the idiot out.”
Holy fuck … can’t be. I grab his arm. “You can’t fight him Jesten, he will kill you.”
