by Naomi Niles
“How badly is she hurt?”
“Let’s just say I saw the pick-up and it could have been a lot worse. She has a lot of cuts and scrapes, so it looks worse than it is. She’s got a broken arm and they removed her spleen because she had some internal bleeding. She’s stable now, but she’s still defending him. I don’t understand it…this would be her chance. If he was driving drunk, they would arrest him.”
“Nothing happened to him?”
“He’s cut up from the broken glass, but you know how it is with drunks. He walked away from it without a single broken bone.”
“Did the cops do a blood alcohol test on him?”
“Yes, and it was three times the legal limit and he was positive for drugs the cop said…he didn’t tell me which ones. He told me all of this because he wants me to get Amber to admit he was driving…, but she won’t. She insists it was her and she just lost control on a curve.”
“Can I go in and see her?”
“Yes. Kyle, she cares about you. She’s going to try and push you away because she thinks she’s protecting you.”
I just nodded. My feelings about all of this were conflicted. First of all, I wanted Amber to be okay, but I didn’t like knowing she was going out of her way to protect her ex. If what Marlene said was true and she did care about me, why would she be so dead set on protecting him?
I rolled myself through the open door of her hospital room. She was lying in the bed with her dark hair splayed out across the white pillow. Her beautiful face was marked with cuts and bruises and they had some kind of brace on her left arm. He lip was split along the side. It looked like someone had hit her right in the mouth. I shuddered as I rolled over closer to the bed. As soon as I stopped, she opened her pretty green eyes and looked at me. She seemed to take a minute to process who I was and then she said,
“Kyle? What are you doing here?”
Chapter Fourteen
AMBER
When I opened my eyes and saw Kyle my first thought was, I’m going to kill Marlene. What the hell was she thinking calling him?
I said his name and he smiled at me, but in a not too thrilled voice then I said, “What are you doing here?”
The smile fell from his face and he said, “Marlene told me what happened…”
“She shouldn’t have.”
“Why? I thought we were friends.”
I felt like I wanted to cry, but not in front of him. I sucked it up and said, “We are friends Kyle…”
“But?”
“No buts. I bet I look like a mess.”
“You’re beautiful,” he said with a sincere look on his face. It made me think about how he said it the other night when we made love and I shivered. He went on to say, “But you look busted up. How are you feeling?”
“I’m okay… It’s not like it was brain surgery.” I was trying to make light of this. He obviously didn’t feel like letting me get away with it.
“What happened, Amber?”
“I was giving my ex-boyfriend a ride home because he was drunk. I lost control of the car and ran it down an embankment. The creek bed was dry, but it was rocky and the car rolled…and here I am.”
“Marlene says Dylan was driving.” I flinched at the sound of his name on Kyle’s lips.
“Marlene thinks she knows everything. She wasn’t there, I was. I was driving.”
“I guess you have your reasons for wanting to protect him, but I’m with your sister on this one… I don’t understand why.”
“What did Marlene tell you, exactly?”
“She just gave me a brief history of your and Dylan’s relationship and she said she wanted to call the cops last night and you said no. She told me she wanted to call a cab and you said no, and she said the cop is convinced that Dylan was driving the car. So, if that’s true, you are protecting him. Why?”
“It’s not true that he was driving, I was. The rest of it… Well, to be blunt, Kyle, it’s not really your business is it?” I felt like shit being so mean to him, but he really didn’t need to be involved with me and my mess. I never should have gone out with him and I definitely should not have slept with him. He looked hurt and like he was carefully wording what he wanted to say in his head. When he finally spoke I felt like there was a knife twisting inside my chest.
“Amber, I have been attracted to you from the moment I laid eyes on you. I could feel that you were attracted to me, too, but the night at my sister’s house and the other night at dinner, felt like so much more than simple attraction to me. If I’m wrong here and you really don’t want to be anything more than patient and therapist, will you do me a big favor and just tell me now?”
I knew I had to tell him that, but I wanted to either prolong the agony or make excuses I’m not sure which. “Did Marlene tell you that Dylan and I have been together since we were fifteen years old?”
“Yeah, she told me.”
“I don’t know if you’ve ever had a relationship that lasted that long. Other than you the other night, Kyle, he’s the only man I’ve ever been with. I know that doesn’t mean I owe him the rest of my life if he doesn’t deserve it, but he’s sick and he’s agreed to get help. So don’t I at least owe it to him to stand by and be supportive of him while he’s doing that?”
He looked at me long and hard with those soulful brown eyes of his and he said, “By get help you mean rehab or something?”
“Yes.”
“So you’re going to stand by while he’s in rehab…and then what?”
“I don’t know. I guess that will depend on Dylan and what he’s willing to do in order to make this relationship work.”
“So, you’re going to not only stick by him, but by the relationship, as well.”
“I’m sorry, Kyle. I made a mistake going out with you. I shouldn’t have led you on-”
“Don’t…don’t talk to me like I’m the pathetic nerd in high school who can’t get a girl and you gave me a courtesy fuck.”
“That’s not what I meant at all.”
“Before I got sick, I went out with a different woman every week. I have no intentions of ever settling down and the idea of being with one woman longer than that doesn’t even appeal to me. Everyone treats me like I’m a different person just because I was sick for a little while. I’m still me and if you think I’m going to have some kind of breakdown because you’d rather be with your drunk, abusive ex, you’re sorely mistaken.” He grabbed the wheels of his chair and turned himself towards the door.
“Kyle, I didn’t mean it that way.”
He didn’t stop. He left me lying there in that bed feeling like the most pathetic fool on earth. I didn’t let Marlene call the cops because they weren’t going to keep him. All that was going to do was piss Dylan off more. I offered to drive him home to make sure he didn’t hurt anyone else, it wasn’t about him. And, he wasn’t driving…
I wrecked because when I told him that was the last thing I’d ever do for him, he backhanded me in the face. He did promise to go to rehab afterwards when we were trying to get out from underneath the air bags on the condition that I didn’t leave him at least until he got through it. He admitted to me that he’s been using meth for a couple of months. That explained a lot about his escalating behavior. My thoughts about him going to rehab were that once he finished and he was sober and the Dylan I used to know, he’d understand that he had to let me go. I couldn’t explain that to my sister, or my mother who has called three times, or Kyle, but as much as it looks like I’m playing the victim and the fool here, I’m trying to do what it takes to protect myself and my family – even Kyle.
“Hey,” Dylan stuck his head in the door. He pushed it back and I saw that he had a bouquet of fire and ice roses in his hand – my favorites. I’d told him that before we went to our Junior Prom together in high school. I was honestly surprised that he remembered.
“Hey.”
“How are you feeling?”
“I’m okay. How are you?”
�
�I’m sore and I want a drink…but otherwise like shit,” he said with a grin. “These are for you.” He brought the flowers over to the bed and let me smell them before taking the carnations Marlene brought me out of the vase on the bedside table and putting bouquet in it. “That cop wanted to see my chest and my side. Do you have a mark from the steering wheel?”
“I think it’s from the seatbelt,” I told him. “I keep telling him that you weren’t driving. Worst case scenario if he pushes it, we should be able to get blood or DNA samples off of the airbags. Did you call the rehab place?”
“Yeah. They want me to come for an interview this afternoon. That’s why I’m sober.”
“That’s the only reason?”
“It’s a start, isn’t it?” I guess he had a point.
“Yeah…it’s a start. You should probably go before Marlene gets back.”
“You’re shooing me out so I don’t upset your bitch sister?”
“Dylan, I agreed to stay with you while you do this. I’ll be at every visiting day and I’ll bring you whatever you need, but not if you’re going to continue to be an asshole.”
“I’m sure she’s called me a lot worse.”
“And, I’m sure you deserved it. She’s just being protective of me – and look at me, was she right to be?”
I saw a couple of different emotions cross his face, first anger and then remorse. At least when he was sober he could feel things. “Amber, shit… I’m sorry I hit you. I can’t even believe I did that. It’s the meth. It makes me crazy.”
“Then why, Dylan? Why do you do things that make you act that way?”
He shrugged. “The guys on the circuit use it to stay awake on the road and to enhance their rides. I just planned on trying it once… I liked it way too much, I guess.”
“The second you leave rehab without a doctor’s order, I’m out of this – no do-overs.”
He nodded. “Fair enough.”
“Look who I brought…” Marlene came through the door with Nona. They both stopped in their tracks when they saw Dylan. Nona’s brown eyes went wide as she stepped behind her mother’s leg.
“Hey, Nona,” Dylan said. He and Nona had hung out a lot when he broke his collarbone last year and couldn’t ride. She followed him around and sort of hero-worshipped him. I could see the hurt in his eyes when he realized she was afraid of him. I knew it’s his own damned fault, but I still want to feel bad for him. Marlene on the other hand was shooting daggers out of her eyes. Dylan was probably damned lucky Nona was with her. “Hey, Nona, I’m sorry about the other night. Uncle Dylan didn’t mean to scare you or your mommy. I was…”
“Sick?” the little girl said. Dylan’s eyes actually filled with tears.
“Yeah, baby, I’m sick. But I’m going to a place where the doctors and nurses are going to make me better the way they’re making your Aunt Amber better here, okay?”
She nodded, but continued to clutch tightly to Marlene’s leg. “Okay,” she said.
He smiled at her and then he looked at me and said, “I’m going to get to that interview. I’ll be back later.” I just nodded. As soon as he was gone, Nona came over by the bed and took my hand. I tried to ignore the flames her mother was shooting out of her eyes. I could bet that I would hear about it later.
Chapter Fifteen
KYLE
I went back to the clinic on Tuesday and asked Joyce if I could come in five days a week and just pay for the extra sessions out of pocket. I wanted this over with. I wanted to be me again. I wanted people to stop looking at the wheelchair and not seeing the man beyond that – and I needed to be far away from Amber.
Joyce put me on the schedule and I started that day. By the following Monday when Amber came back, I was walking with a walker. I was still dragging my bad foot a little bit, but getting better by the day.
When I walked into the clinic, Amber’s green eyes were the first things I saw. She looked surprised to see me out of the chair and smiled. I kept my straight face. I promised myself this was going to be all business.
As the days passed I got stronger, but the raw need I felt for Amber got stronger, as well. It was killing me that I wanted her so badly and I couldn’t have her. I lay awake all Thursday night thinking about her. I wondered if maybe I needed to just call one of the girls I used to booty call. That might stave off the hornies for a while – but the bottom line was that for the first time in years I didn’t just want sex. I wanted her.
By the time the sun came up on Friday morning, I convinced myself that I had to find out if she wanted me as badly as I did her. In order to do that, I needed to get her alone. She wasn’t going to agree to go out with me and the clinic got way too packed during the day for any alone time to happen. I formulated a plan in my head. I had no idea if it would work or not, but at the rate my therapy was going, I wouldn’t need the clinic much longer. I had to act now – before I lost the opportunity.
The first thing I did when I got up that morning was to call the clinic and ask what the latest appointment Amber had available was. I got lucky when the new girl answered the phone. Not only does she not really know all the protocols, yet but I think she has a little crush on me, too.
“She’s here until five, so she takes appointments until four, but she’s booked this afternoon.”
“Is there anything you can do for me, Sadie? It’s just that I have a doctor’s appointment this morning that I forgot about, but I really don’t want to miss my session. I’ve been doing so well.”
“I’m sorry, Kyle; I’m just not sure what I can do. Joyce is off today.” I knew that. I’d heard her telling Amber that the day before. “Amber is the only therapist here today.”
“Is there any way she can see me at five…just this once?”
“Um…I guess I could ask her.”
“Would you, Sadie? That would be awesome.”
“Sure, hang on for a minute.”
A few minutes later, she came back on the line. “Kyle, Amber said she can see you at five. The clinic will be locked up right at five though, so can you get here just a little early so I can let you in before I leave and lock up?”
“Absolutely, Sadie. Thank you so much.”
“You’re welcome, Kyle. I’m glad you’re doing so well.”
I hung up feeling a little guilty about being manipulative, but I also knew that Amber could have easily said no. The fact that she didn’t gave me hope. The next thing I did was call Greg. Over the past week, things between us had started feeling like they used to. I hadn’t forgotten what he’d done, but I think I was coming around to eventually forgiving him.
“Hey, I need to ask you a big favor.”
“Absolutely, what do you need?”
I told him my plan. Greg was the only one in my world that would think it was a good idea. As a matter of fact, he thought it was a great one. He agreed to take me to the clinic and not come back until I called him – if I called him. Now all I had to do was convince Amber that she wanted this as much as I did.
*******
“So how did your appointment go?” Amber had her green scrubs on today. I loved those. Her eyes looked like emeralds when she wore green.
“Good, the doctor said there are no signs of what’s left of the tumor growing,” I lied. I didn’t have an appointment today. It wasn’t scheduled until next week.
“Good. Okay, are you ready to get started?”
“Yep.” Sadie was here when I arrived and she was letting Amber’s last appointment out the door. She took me back to where Amber was and then hung around for a while until I was worried she was going to stay. Thankfully after fifteen minutes or so, Amber told her she was welcome to go home. Now, it was just her and me. I was far enough along to do my own leg exercises. I missed the days of her touching me – it almost made me want to take a few steps back in my progress. I sat down on the mat and stretched out my legs, and then she helped me up so I could do the parallel bars.
“You’re amazing,” she said
when I made it to the end. “Only two weeks ago you were sweating bullets doing this and look at you now, not even breaking a sweat.”
I grinned at her. “I have to tell you, this is not the first time I’ve been called amazing.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m sure,” she said. I had to channel the old Kyle, the one that was self-conscious about his limp or the bald spots on his head.
“I seem to recall you screaming it out once or twice-”
“Kyle!”
I laughed and took a step closer to her. God, she smells so good. “What?” I purposely lowered my voice. “I can’t even remember how good it was?”
“Kyle…” That one came out in a whisper, but she didn’t step back.
“You don’t remember, Amber?” I reached up and just lightly touched her hair as I took one step closer.
“Kyle, please…” that one was so faint I could barely hear it.
I put my mouth next to her ear. “Please what, Amber? I’m just talking about memories, memories that keep me awake at night. Sometimes there’s no other way for me to get to sleep at night other than to relive it. Do you ever relive it, Amber? Do you ever lie in your bed and run your hands across your gorgeous body and think about me?”
“Kyle…I can’t do this.”
“Do what? I’m not asking you to do anything…” I let my lips brush against her ear and I felt her shiver. “We’re just talking about our memories here. You can’t take those away from me. I remember how you feel…how you taste…the sexy little sounds you make.”
“Oh fuck…Kyle…”
“What, baby? What do you want?”
She didn’t answer me, at least, not with words. She turned towards me, wrapped her arms around my neck, and pulled her body up into me. I held onto her with one arm and the bar with the other as our lips met. I felt her sweet lips part and I slid my tongue into her mouth and tasted her. Nothing tasted as sweet as her…nobody tasted as sweet as her. Her warm and wet tongue was as busy exploring as mine was. Her body was melding into me. My cock was already rock hard – it was painful. I needed her. I broke the kiss and only pulled back enough so that I could look down into her beautiful eyes. “I need you, Amber…please.” She still didn’t speak; she only nodded. She took my hand and walked me slowly into the massage room. My heart was racing, and I had finally broken a sweat.
