by Megan Smith
I squeeze mom’s hand and look away. I don’t want her to see me crying. “Hunter,” she sighs. “I’m so proud of the man you have become. You stepped up when your father checked out.” Hunter looks away quickly. “You’ve been a great role model for your sister, you’re an amazing father to those two precious babies of yours.” Mom struggles taking a deep breath. “The love you have for your wife and kids is indescribable. Keep doing what you’re doing. Always be the man I know today.” Mom sucks in a breath, her eyes wide from the panic of not getting enough air.
“I love you but I can’t do this,” I hear Hunter say. Watching her struggle is his undoing. He kisses mom’s hand and then he walks out. The front door slams a minute later causing me to jump, his truck starts up and he pulls away. The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Hunter is having a really hard time dealing. I know they had their talk just like mom and I did. Mom said she told Hunter if he couldn’t be here that it was okay. She told me the same thing, too.
“Oh, my sweet baby girl,” Mom pats my hand. “You’re going to be such a wonderful mom.” The baby kicks me as if right on queue. I place my free hand over the spot I was just kicked. “Let me feel,” mom says.
I stand and lift mom’s hand where I felt the kick and she rubs circles over the area as she starts to talk to our unborn baby. “This is your grandmother talking to you, sweet pea. I need you to do me a favor when I’m gone,” I want to run out of this room so bad. I want to be in Hunter’s truck getting as far away from this last goodbye as possible. Listening to her talking to the granddaughter or grandson she’ll never meet is absolutely killing me. Fuck, this is so damn hard. “Keep your momma on her toes, don’t ever let her slack off. I love you, sweet pea,” mom starts coughing again. She tries to take a couple deep breaths but it just makes her cough more.
“Nice and easy, Mom. Nice and easy.”
She gets her breathing under control and then sighs.
“You okay now?”
Mom turns her head away from me and stares back out the window. “Today was pretty hot, huh? Tomorrow they said it’ll be ninety-eight with a light breeze.”
I laugh, take a seat next to her, kick up my feet and start reading the book I started yesterday.
Later that night Kelly stops by and checks on mom. I leave her to do her thing and make myself a quick bite to eat. Elle stops in a few minutes later. She peeks into my bowl, “Fruit Loops?”
“Yup. I’ve always hated Fruit Loops, until now.”
“Cravings?”
I shrug. “I guess so.”
She nods towards mom’s room. “I’m going to go see what the weather’s going to be like tomorrow.”
I laugh and continue eating.
Kelly comes out, places her bag on the table in front of me and gives me a sad smile. “It’s about that time.”
The spoon slips from my hand and clanks in the bowl. My hands start shaking so bad that I snatch them off the table and place them in my lap.
“I’ve given her some medicine to make her comfortable.”
I nod and get up from the table to rinse my bowl out. I’m no longer hungry.
“I’ve got one other patient I have to go check in on and then I’ll be back for the rest of the night.”
I nod and don’t bother turning around.
“Are you going to be okay?”
I take a deep breath and let it out. “Do you know it’s going to be ninety-eight tomorrow?”
She laughs. “With a light breeze.”
When I hear the front door close I pick up my phone from the table and head out on the patio to call Cooper. He’s got a home game that should probably be over by now since it was an afternoon game. He talked to his coach and gave him a heads up as to what’s going on so that when I called him and said when he’d be here with me.
“Hey, babe,” he greets me.
“It’s time.”
“I’m on my way.”
Now that that’s done, it’s time to call Hunter. It goes to voicemail so I try MacKenzie.
Thankfully, she answers on the third ring.
“Hello,”
“It’s time.”
“We’re on our way.”
Elle is already here so I don’t have to call her. One less phone call. One less thing to worry about. I grab a bottle of water from the fridge and go back into mom’s bedroom.
On the early morning of July thirty-first, mom took her final breath while Hunter and I sat by her side holding her hand. We were surrounded by our friends and family just the way she wanted it. Cooper was put on the bereavement list for a few days to be here with me. We both know he can’t stay long or he’ll lose his spot in the AAA.
Elle and Andrew handled the funeral so all we had to do was show up. I finish pulling my black maxi dress over my head when Cooper asks if I’m ready.
“Yeah,” I’ve barely spoken in these last two days. I’m flying on auto pilot.
We show up at the funeral home. It’s a small gathering with a surprise guest.
Hunter jumps to hit feet and starts storming the entrance but I catch his wrist stopping him. “Wait.”
Cooper comes up beside me and grabs my hand. “I’ll get rid of her.”
“No, it’s fine.”
“The hell it is,” Hunter growls.
“Back off,” I snap. “What would mom do, Hunter? You’d think she’d turn her away?”
He pulls his wrist from my hand and stalks off. Cooper and I walk down the aisle towards Brittany.
“I just want to give my condolences and then I’ll leave.”
“Brittany,” Cooper warns.
“Let her do what she needs to do,” I yank down on Cooper’s hand. “Please.”
Cooper sighs and nods his head.
She walks with her head down to the front of the room where mom is. She kneels down, bows her head for a moment, then stands, places an envelope on mom’s casket and walks away with her head still down.
I step over to Hunter and MacKenzie. “It’s what mom would have wanted whether you understand or not,” I swallow the tears down. “Everyone deserves a second chance, Hunter. Mom always told us that. No one is perfect, we all mess up but give someone the chance to redeem themselves.”
Hunter stands and wraps his big arms around me. “When did you get so smart?”
I smile through the tears. “I had a good teacher.”
Jaylinn
It’s late September. Cooper and I are lying in bed snuggling and watching movies. I’ve been put on bedrest and strict orders to relax for the last four weeks. The emotional stress of losing my mom started making me have contractions a week after she passed away. Luckily for me, but not so much Cooper, he’s home with me now. His team didn’t make it to the play-offs.
Late last night the contractions kicked up and I’ve been tossing and turning. My face scrunches in pain. “Damn,” I grit out through my teeth.
Cooper sits up, leans over and rubs my back. I know he’s trying to help but I really don’t want him touching me. He’s the one who got me pregnant in the first place. Okay, not really, but still.
I take a deep breath through my nose and out of my mouth. “Okay, I’m good.”
“I think we should call the doctor.”
“How close was that?”
“Seven minutes.”
I nod. “Alright, can you call?”
Cooper climbs off the bed to get his phone. I roll on to my side and bring my knees up. I try to think of anything else but what’s going on right now. Another contraction hits and I squeeze my eyes shut. When it passes Cooper is pulling on his jeans.
“Are we going?”
“Yeah.”
Cooper helps me to my feet and then helps with my pants. I pull my hands out from my t-shirt and slip a bra on. Cooper grabs my flip flops because my feet are too swollen for sneakers.
“We have everything?” he asks.
“Yeah, bags in the car with the car seat.”
“Let’s do
this.”
“I really wish you weren’t so excited for this part.”
Cooper laughs as he leads me through the house. “Because it’s going to feel like my body is ripping in two and you’ll be standing beside me with a smile on your face.”
He smirks. “Would it help if I didn’t smile?”
“Asshole.”
“But you love me.”
“Yeah, I guess you can say I was made to love you.”
Jackson sits up when we get to the living room. He’s leaning forward holding his head. “What’s going on?”
Jackson is out sleeping on our couch, he came pounding on our door drunk late last night.
Cooper shakes his head. “Jaylinn’s in labor. We’re on our way to the hospital.”
Jackson turns his head in our direction a little too fast by the scrunched up face. “Good luck.”
“Thanks.”
“Make yourself useful and call everyone to meet us at the hospital, will ya?” Cooper yells a little louder than necessary.
Jackson covers his ears. “Yeah, alright.”
Ten, long, painful, exhausting, perfect hours later a screaming baby girl was born into this world. The nurse wrapped her up, put a hat with a bow on it on her head and handed her to Cooper.
He looks at me and then back down to his daughter. In this moment I understand when Mason said that he fell more in love with Hailey. Watching Cooper place a kiss on our daughter’s forehead brings a fresh round of tears. She’s so tiny compared to him.
Cooper leans her down so I can kiss her head. “She’s perfect.”
“Just like you.”
“Are we sticking with her name?” I ask. There was four names that we were deciding from but at the end we agreed on one.
“Yup,” Cooper places the baby in my arms.
“Welcome to the world, Brooklyn Daisy Cahill.”
After Cooper, Brooklyn and I have had our bonding time we allow the family to come meet our precious, perfect, little princess.
MacKenzie is the first in the room followed by Hunter. “Sorry, I told mom and dad they had to wait.” She laughs. “I didn’t get to know about the engagement so I called dibs on seeing the baby first.”
Hunter gives Cooper a handshake. “Congrats, man.”
“Thanks.”
MacKenzie drops her purse on a nearby chair and comes over. I adjust Brooklyn in my arms so that she can see her niece. “Oh my gosh,” she gushes. “She’s beautiful.”
Hunter stands behind his wife and puts his chin on her shoulder. “She’s got your nose, Jay.”
I scrunch up my nose. “No, she doesn’t.” I hate my nose, the tip has a little ball on the end.
Cooper taps me on my nose. “It’s a cute nose.”
“Hey!” Hailey’s dark blue eyes are lit up with excitement. “Baby!” She shuffles over to bed with her hands out.
MacKenzie elbows her. “I’m first.”
Cooper chuckles just as Mason walks in. “Damn, you could have waited for me.”
Hailey waves her husband off. “I knew you’d catch up.”
Mason shakes his head. “Caleb refused to let go of my neck until dad took him from me.”
Caleb is going through a phase Hailey told me a few weeks back. Every man he sees he latches on to them and doesn’t want to let go.
MacKenzie holds her hands out to take the baby and I suddenly don’t want to let go of her. “Give her over.”
I glance over to Cooper who winks. There is no getting out of this, I’ve got to hand her over.
Hailey squeals. “Little princess.” She leans over and places a kiss on Brooklyn’s forehead while MacKenzie holds her.
Mason steps around his wife and sister. “Congrats, Jay.” He leans down and kisses my forehead. “Good job, bro.” Mason fist bumps Cooper.
The door opens again and in walks Eli, Fallon and Chloe. The girls flock to Hailey who now has Brooklyn in her arms.
Eli leans down and gives me a one armed hug. “How you doing, pretty girl?”
Cooper growls. “You can’t call her that anymore. She’s married if you forgot.”
Eli throws his head back laughing. “She’ll always be my pretty girl.”
Fallon slides up next to Cooper and pulls on the hem of his shirt. “Can I hold the baby?”
Cooper glances to me and I glance to Eli. “As long as Eli helps you with her.”
Eli’s eyes widen. “I’m not holding that.”
“That is my baby,” Cooper snarls.
Eli holds his hands up laughing. “I’m just kidding but she really is small.”
I pat him on the hand. “You’ll do just fine.”
Eli takes a seat in an empty chair and Fallon climbs up on his lap. “Here you go,” Chloe says handing the baby over to them. Fallon holds Brooklyn’s body while Eli supports her head. I’m glad I didn’t have to tell but him then I remember his niece, Sophia, so he’s got practice.
Fallon leans over and kisses Brooklyn’s head. “What’s her name, Aunt Jaylinn?”
I look up to Cooper who’s looking down to me. My eyes tear up and my heart flutters as memories from mom and my best friend hit me. I swallow the tears down. “Brooklyn Daisy.” I swallow again. Cooper reaches down for my hand to offer support. “We wanted a way to remember my mom and Layla. It took us a little while to figure out the perfect name.” I huff. “One afternoon we were in the grocery store when we walked past the floral department and saw the daisies.” I shrug. “It was both of their favorite flower.”
Cooper squeezes my hand. “It’s our way to remember them both.”
“It’s beautiful,” MacKenzie says.
“I love that name,” Hailey pipes up.
My eyes wander over to my brother who gives me a wink. My eyes make their way over to Eli who smiles although it doesn’t quite reach his eyes but it’s enough for me. I know he’s still struggling with Layla’s death.
The girls start firing off questions about the delivery and how much Brooklyn weighs and how long she is.
Chloe sits on the foot of my bed. “Have you heard from your brother?” she asks Cooper.
He nods. “Yeah, he’s at our house sleeping off a hangover.”
Chloe huffs. “Figures.”
MacKenzie grabs her purse from the chair she dropped it on. “We’re going to get out of here. We left mom and dad with all the kids.” She leans over and kisses the baby’s head. “See you later, Brooklyn.”
Hunter kisses me on the top of my head. “Mom would be proud of you, Jay.” My eyes tear up. “Brooklyn’s perfect, just like her mom.”
“Love you, big bro.”
Hunter chuckles. “Love you too, sis.”
Mason, Hailey and Chloe say their goodbye minutes later. Fallon starts squirming so Cooper walks over and takes the baby from her and Eli.
Eli rubs his hands down his jeans. “Well, we’re going to get out of here. I’ve got to get her home and get to Fierce.”
Fallon waves from the door. “Bye, Uncle Cooper and Aunt Jaylinn.”
Eli holds the door open for her. “Hey, Jay?”
“Yeah?”
“You did good.”
I laugh. “Thanks.”
“I’ll see you at the club in a few days?” he asks Cooper.
“Yeah.”
“Alright, talk to you guys later.”
After the door closes I glance over to Cooper holding our daughter. “Think he liked the name?”
Cooper kisses Brooklyn’s head. “Yeah, he’s just still dealing with everything.”
Andrew pushes the door open and Elle walks in. “Let me see my granddaughter.”
Granddaughter.
It takes my breath away for a second as I wish it was my mom walking in that door.
“Oh dear,” Elle sighs as Cooper hands Brooklyn over. “She’s gorgeous.”
“Ha.” Cooper smiles. “Like she’d be anything less.”
Andrew laughs. “You did good, son.”
“H
ave you named her yet?”
“Yeah,” Cooper answers. “Brooklyn Daisy.”
Elle repeats the name and then leans down and kisses Brooklyn’s head. “It’s perfect.”
Elle takes the seat Eli was just sitting in. “Andrew, can you give Jaylinn that letter and box in my purse, please?”
Andrew digs around for a second before handing it over to me. “What’s this?”
Elle and Andrew both give me a sad smile. “A little something that your mom asked me to give to you.”
I look down to the envelope. How I wish she was here. I miss her so much. My hands shake as I attempt to open it. Finally I get it and pull the letter out.
Jaylinn-
By this time you’ll have had your baby girl wrapped in your arms. The way you felt in that moment is the exact same way I felt when I held you.
I’m so sorry I’m not able to be there with you and Cooper but you better believe I’m with you in spirit. I promise I’m never far away and will guide you as much as possible.
I didn’t write you this letter to make you sad and cause you to cry so wipe those tears and put a smile on your face.
When I found out what you were having I knew the perfect item I wanted to leave to your daughter. It’s wrapped in that box that Elle gave you. It’s not much but she’ll always have a piece of me with her. She’s a little young for it right now but when she gets old enough I hope she’ll wear it and keep it close to her heart.
Your brother was left a few things for Olivia and Ryder too. Make sure you look out for your brother for me. I know he acts tough but sometimes he’s a little soft around the heart. Make sure you lean on each other when you’re sad and missing me. Remember, I said it’s okay to be sad but always think of the good times we shared together. Those are the way that I want to be remembered.
I don’t want to keep you away from your baby girl for another second. Give her a kiss and a hug from me.
I love you, Jaylinn Marie. Cooper and the baby, too.
Love,
Mom
I lean my head back against the pillows looking up to the ceiling. The ache in my chest is killing me. Cooper sits next to me on the bed, leans over and wipes my tears away.
