“If they manage to get to me and I don’t take the little fuckers out, I want you to stay with Boyd and Zane until they’re caught. I’m not kidding. This isn’t open for negotiation, baby. Their place is safer than the Pentagon. Mack will track them. He was always the best of us at that. Don’t be fooled by their smiles and easy laughter, Brooke. They’re predators. I can feel it.
“Tell Mack he was the brother I never had and I love him. Tell Boyd and Zane how much they meant to me over so many years together. All the good memories I have in my life before I met you are with those men. They’re my brothers, my friends, my fellow soldiers. They’re the best of the very best. Make sure Jeanette and Sidney know I couldn’t have picked better women for my friends if I’d special-ordered them. Hug Jackson and tell him I’m proud of the man he’s becoming and to watch out for his sisters. Tell Molly to sing her heart out and not to develop a gambling problem with the video games. Little Becca…I think she’ll run my shop one day. She has a love for art and the human form like I did at her age. I’ll miss drawing with her. Brooke, they were the kids I never had and I love them so much. My only wish is that I could have given you your own.
“I need to make sure you know a couple of things. First, you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, inside and out. I’ve never even heard of a love like yours. Your love saturates every area of my universe and fills me up, making me a better man for receiving it. You changed my life the night I did your tattoo and I’ve been grateful for every day, every minute, I’ve had with you so far. I hope I’ll have fifty years more but if I don’t the time I’ve been lucky enough to have with you meant more than all of it.
“Second, I know you’ll grieve if anything happens to me but you can’t stop living. You’re so young, baby. Don’t you give up on life to mourn. Thinking of you without your smile, without your spark…that is a thought much worse than death. I can hardly bear to write because the thought of you crying in sorrow makes me physically ache.
“Remember to eat, drink plenty of fluids, laugh with the kids all the time and help them grow up to be like you, let ‘Buzz’ handle your accounts (you’re so bad with that), let Jeanette and Mack keep you organized, let Sidney fuss over your beauty.
“And when the time is right, when you can open your heart again, think about giving the twins another chance. I’ve been watching them and they’ve been trying so hard. You’ll need both of them to replace me (ha ha) and I think they’ve learned how stupid they were to let you get away the first time…not that I mind in the slightest. In fact, I often send a little prayer to heaven on their behalf for being immature and selfish. They gave me my shot and I’m so glad I took you home with me that night.
“Thank you for letting me love you Brooke, and thank you for how hard you loved me back. Go live, pretty baby. All my love, Rex
She doubled over and sobbed her heart out. When they gathered around her, she handed the letter to Mack while Sidney wiped her tears, sitting on the floor at her feet. He handed the letter to Boyd, who handed it to Zane and so on since all of them were in it. As each person read Rex’s words, they cried together. By the time each person had read it, they were all crying. Sidney and Jeanette held Brooke as her body was wracked with sobs hard enough to rattle her body and heart apart.
Mack carried her out to the street and put her in the huge SUV they’d driven in. Zane and Sidney climbed on the back of his Harley, Boyd rode Rex’s which had been parked in front of his house since they’d had it cleaned.
Reporters who’d waited in shifts over the past two weeks to catch a glimpse of Brooke Kincaid, America’s Country Sweetheart, were in shock at her gaunt appearance. The twins climbed in on either side of her and she was asleep on Logan within seconds. At the warehouse, they drove inside the hidden garage and Decklan carried her upstairs. Jackson and her sisters were waiting in the living room watching a country music special about Broken Bronco and the recent tragedy.
Her siblings followed them into the bedroom and the girls climbed up to lay on each side of her. She wrapped her arms around them and fell back to sleep. Jackson lay down behind Becca and stared at his hurting older sister. The twins sat in chairs on the other side of the room and watched over them. When she opened her eyes later, she told each of them what Rex had said in his letter and how much he’d loved them.
Becca said sadly, “It’s like losing Daddy all over again only Rex was never too tired to draw with me or listen to a song Molly wrote. Or goof off with Jackson. He was so patient, so nice to me. I miss him very much because no one else draws like I do. You all sing and I don’t love it like you do.” Molly was playing with Brooke’s braid and Jackson was twirling a lock of Becca’s hair in his fingers.
Swallowing past her tears, she said, “Becca, I’m sorry I’ve been so selfish and caught up in being sad myself. I had no right to forget about you. I know you loved him, too. Please forgive me.” Brooke’s voice was hoarse and tired.
“Brooke, you hurt so bad. It’s worse for you. We all know how much you loved him. It was different for you.”
Molly hugged her hard and added, “It’s okay Brooke. You’re going to be strong again soon. You have to eat, sissy. You look like you’ve lost a lot of weight. Jeanette is going to have you on a special diet now. We’re here for you, we love you. You’ve always been so strong for us. We can be strong for you now.”
When Jackson stroked her face, there were tears in his eyes, but he said firmly, “He was a good man, one of the best, Brooke. But he wouldn’t want you to waste away. He would want you to keep going. We should head down to the ranch, bring the horses. Sidney and Jeanette have each other here, so do the guys. You change the girls to our old school. Hire some bodyguards and a driver. We can outfit the house to be safe. Take some time off and remember who you were first, then go back to music. Once you’re strong, you get the hell back in the studio and do what you were born to do. You were born to make music and you make it best with the twins. For now, get your strength up and let’s go home, Brooke.”
Everyone waited for her to consider Jackson’s plan.
Finally, she nodded slowly, “Okay, we’ll go home.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Two years later…Fall 2011
One thing about living in Idabel, Oklahoma…you could see the reporters coming for miles. Further along the rural road was a van belonging to one of the biggest celebrity magazines. They were only able to get so close to the house with the new eight-foot iron fencing topped with spikes Brooke ordered built around their entire property and the security gate blocking the long drive.
Since Rex’s death, the media had treated her more carefully and Brooke appreciated it more than they likely realized. She granted sporadic interviews and limited questions about her personal life. Raising her hand in a friendly wave, the photographer standing on top of the van with a telephoto lens-equipped camera waved back.
She smiled to herself as she sat on Buttercup’s back, her horse snorting with the need to run as they once had. Though she rode her faithful companion daily, she didn’t let her loose, didn’t let the wind take them like she’d done when her heart was free of sadness. Wearing jeans and a t-shirt, boots and a light jacket, her hair flowed around her in the cool breeze of early fall.
There were cameras scattered over her acreage that were monitored inside the communications room over the barn. It had been fully renovated and converted for the team of four bodyguards who watched over them in shifts.
Each man covering her had been vetted and briefed on their responsibilities by Rex’s friends. There were four fully furnished efficiency apartments and a tactical room to monitor the cameras and other security equipment. The system had been designed, built-out, and staffed by Boyd and Zane before they’d allowed her to leave Chicago. They frequently reviewed and upgraded her equipment during their regular trips down with Sidney.
A temporary stable sat beside the barn that was heated and air-conditioned for their horses. The new stabl
e foundation had been poured over the summer and workers came daily to complete the structure that would feature a large loft apartment for Jackson when it was finished.
Brooke had arranged the renovation of the old farmhouse at the same time she’d done the barn. She’d added an addition to the first floor that housed her bedroom, bathroom, office, and personal recording studio. It had been made to mimic the original lines of the house while almost doubling the square footage.
A new roof, flooring, and fresh paint inside and out had been finished within weeks of their decision to return to Oklahoma. Once they’d returned, the four Kincaids had systematically gone through the house and decided what furniture they would keep and what would be replaced. The end result had been a meshing of old and new that just fit somehow.
The men who’d done all the renovations on her property were local so Brooke could interact with the crew without being gawked at. She kept them supplied with drinks and snacks while they worked and often joined them during lunch breaks to catch up on local happenings.
In the months this crew had been working on her house, building out her barn, assembling her fencing, and erecting the new stables, there hadn’t been one story sold to the tabloids about her. For that she was grateful and it reminded her of what life had been like before she became a country music star. Next summer, she planned to put in a pool and build a guest house while they were on tour. She wanted more room for when her friends came to visit.
Their new housekeeper and nanny lived in one of the five bedrooms on the second floor. The woman had quickly proven herself indispensable to their family. Jeanette still ran her professional life and Kate kept her personal life running smoothly. She handled most of the cooking and oversaw the two local girls who assisted with cleaning twice a week.
Every morning during the school year, she drove the girls back and forth to school with a bodyguard in a fortified SUV. Though the girls were getting too old for a traditional nanny, Brooke noticed the older woman’s positive influence on her sometimes mischievous younger sisters. They respected her and she seemed to genuinely adore Becca and Molly.
She turned from examining the main grounds of her property, and the list of changes she still had to implement, and nudged Buttercup onto the trail that wound through the old cattle pastures. In the distance, she saw one of her bodyguards on an ATV, watching everything around her.
She thought it was probably Peyton but couldn’t be sure. Evan was sitting the saddle of another mount, keeping a distance of no more than a dozen feet behind her. They liked to give her the illusion of privacy.
Brooke had been saddened when Jackson informed her he wasn’t going to college. At first, she’d fought it but he’d been right in everything he’d pointed out. “Brooke, I’ve known exactly what I wanted to do with my life for years. I already make a living in my chosen field and I stuck with high school when I really didn’t want to. I’m not stupid. I have the basics and it’s killing me trying to split my time between the family, my music, and school. Be fair. You know college isn’t for me.”
Taking in the stubborn set of her little brother’s expression, she’d asked herself what Rex would do. As a man who’d always gone his own way and made no apologies for it, she knew he’d tell her to loosen the apron strings and let her brother find his own path.
So she’d bought him a truck and released the trust fund she’d set up for him. If he was old enough to work and help with his sisters, he was damn well old enough to manage his own money. He’d helped supervise the work done on the house and was still touring with One Man’s Dream. He came back for a few days here and there but she missed him like crazy.
Buttercup tossed her head in impatience and Brooke sighed because she wasn’t ready to run yet.
Jeanette and Mack would be arriving the next day with baby Sofia and using Jackson’s old room at his insistence. Boyd, Sidney, and Zane would sleep in the room that had once belonged to her parents since it had a king-size bed.
Before she’d hired any of her staff, she’d been clear on open-mindedness and confidentiality. She wouldn’t have her friends made to feel uncomfortable or, worse, have their business leaked to the tabloids. Sidney’s relationship with her men, though openly flaunted by the three of them, wasn’t even looked at strangely by Kate or the protection staff. All of them were beyond loyal and dedicated to her and her family.
Travis would also be arriving within the next couple of days. He came to visit often and usually stayed over to spend time with her and the kids. His fourth wife was pregnant with his fifth child and he often either ran away from home or was bluntly told to get out. Brooke found it highly amusing and called him an eternal optimist. He didn’t disagree.
Logan and Decklan had owned the land across the road from her since she joined the band. She’d never known until she came back after losing Rex and realized they’d already poured the foundation on the house they were having built there.
The construction was gradual and they rented a house in town in the meantime. The twins ate dinner with Brooke and the girls at least four nights a week. There were nights they’d get to playing music or watching movies and one or the other would fall asleep on the couch. The other would crash in one of the guest rooms upstairs.
Entering the cooler forested area of her property, she thought back on the first three months after Rex’s death. Before she’d left Chicago, she’d been a wreck since everywhere she turned were memories of their life together. Of the love they’d shared. It had been gut-wrenching to venture within five miles of where he’d been killed.
Once the necessary work had been done on her old place, she’d been glad to leave Chicago behind. To put some distance between her heart and her greatest loss. Even here, the pain had nearly consumed her the first year. Some mornings it had taken everything she had to get out of bed, to carry on through her day. Brooke had ached for Rex and thought about him constantly. She’d sometimes caught herself talking to him as if he was standing beside her.
His flag and medals were framed and displayed in her office. Many of his sketches were hanging around the house. Becca had begged for his many sketch books and Brooke had given them to her with a promise to treat them carefully. A promise that had been unnecessary and she should have known that.
She’d been out of it the first Christmas without him but the second had been the turning point. Where it was either going to start getting better or take a turn for the worse. It had been a little over a year since she’d lost her man and her strength in dealing with that fact seemed to come and go.
One minute all of them had been laughing, singing carols, and having fun. The next, she’d pulled out the ornaments for the tree and found the tiny solid gold fiddle ornament Rex had bought her. He’d given it to her their first Christmas together. On the back was engraved, “Marry me, Brooke”. She’d dropped it and run from the house in a fit of hysterics so bad she’d fallen trying to climb the fence into the fields.
Logan had cleared the enclosure in one leap and caught her in his arms. She’d fought him, punching and screaming until he’d crushed her against him and she fell into angry tears. Her bodyguards had come running, their guns drawn, Mack and the others had ordered them to stand down. When the situation was explained, the men had nodded with pained expressions.
Moments later, Decklan passed them holding a heavy coat and a huge quilt. Without pausing as he approached and climbed the fence, he said, “Go back inside, now, all of you.” His tone had told them he wasn’t asking and the three Marines respected that. Motioning to the bodyguards, Brooke and the twins were left alone in the field.
They spread the quilt out and laid Brooke between them wrapped in the coat, pulling the sides around their bodies and holding her as she sobbed. After a long time, when she’d subsided into gasping breaths, they wiped her tears and simply stayed close, letting her know she wasn’t alone.
In the pale light coming from the outbuildings, Decklan asked softly, “Brooke, do you re
member our very first photo shoot when you were laughing and wondering how your mama would feel about you on your back in the hay with two men?” She gave a little hiccup laugh and nodded. “Vaughn’s standing over you, making little comments in Italian and you totally busted his ass on it. His face was priceless.” On their sides, the brothers watched her lips curve.
“You’re so beautiful, so honest. The whole world woke up and paid attention. They fell for you immediately. All your charity work, the unplanned performances, every kindness endears you to so many, Brooke. Knowing you has made so many things better on this planet, including our music and our lives.” Logan pulled a lock of her hair away from her face, holding it in his fingers and stroking it with his thumb. “Asking you to join us was the best decision we ever made, honey.”
They were quiet for a long time, listening to the night sounds of the country. “I…I’m sorry I lost it. We’re all…laughing, having fun, and he died in a pool of his own blood. I don’t have any right, you know? I have no right to laugh when he took seven bullets and still managed to save me. I’m a horrible person and I should be ashamed.” Her voice was sad and tears fell silently from her eyes.
Decklan stared at her, “So you should keep feeling the pain as if it’s fresh?” She nodded and started to respond but he cut her off, “Because Rex would want that, wouldn’t he, honey? He’d want you crying, not laughing your gorgeous laugh, and smiling that beautiful smile with your family and friends who love you so much? He’d rather you sat alone in a dark room starving yourself and wearing his t-shirt? You’re sure about that, Brooke?”
Logan added, “Because when I think about Rex, I think about how much he loved to make you laugh, loved hearing you break out in song for no reason, loved to dance with you. He loved seeing you on stage. He constantly reminded you to eat and drink because really, you’re the worst nourished person I know, baby. If you saw something sad in the news, saw a person suffering and the sadness was bad for you, he always took you to Corps Values afterwards and made you dance and sing with the band all night.” Logan stroked his finger gently along her jaw.
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