by Lee Heaven
“We located Ms. Green,” he said looking toward Tyler and me. “She was found in her parent’s Brownstone on West 69th…”
“She sold that place shortly after we started dating,” Tyler interrupted.
Detective Kelly gave him that look that basically said you’ve been played. “She was found hanging from an exposed beam. She’s been taken to the morgue and according to the coroner from body temperature it looks as if she died shortly after leaving the kids…”
Detective Kelly kept talking but it was all lost to me. I couldn’t understand a thing he was saying. She killed herself! Fuck what could have been so bad that she left two little babies behind? Dead! This woman thought everything was so bad that she killed herself? Now what happens to her kids? Will they get taken from us? Does she have family out there that will come and take these kids? Will they get put into the system?
Is there a possibility that Emily was that brunette and he was too drunk to realize it? Is he the father?
Chapter 11
It’s been three week since Payton and Cage showed up at our doorstep. Tyler and I appeared in court the next day and were granted temporary custody of the two babies. Tyler took a paternity test with Cage and we are waiting for the results to come in the mail any day now. After court three weeks ago Tyler and I went out shopping and bought everything we needed. As the receipt at the counter printed out I thought my heart was going to explode, but Tyler thought nothing of it and pulled out his card and charged it all.
Maggie and I are now headed back into the apartment building with all the kids. It’s a warm sunny early Saturday afternoon. With Sarah being completely on bed rest we were staying home and watching the games on the TV with her instead of going to the stadium. Not only that but Maggie just went through a fucked up situation where her old neighbor who was stalking her kidnapped her and in order to escape with her life and the life of her bodyguard Liam, Tristan the man renting her mother’s house and Jacob another neighbor, she had to kill the man holding them hostage. She doesn’t like going far from home and spends a lot of time looking over her shoulder.
The kids skipped and danced around as we walked down the sidewalk. Maggie walked alongside me as I pushed the double stroller. “It’s fine,” I said in a tone I would use with one of the children if they were scared or upset. She looked at me out the corner of her eye. “You need to try to relax. He can’t hurt you any more, he’s gone.”
She sighed, “Aren’t you afraid your husband will do good on his threats and come get you? Aren’t you afraid of what he can do to you?”
Jeremy has threatened me for close to a year about coming to find me and giving me the ass kicking I truly deserve. But it’s all an idle threat to me. I knew he would never show up in the city. Hell, I asked for years to move back home, but he never would. Always said that he would never step a foot out of his hometown again because all it did was lead to heart break. He left and joined the Marines and was medically discharged breaking his heart. He left and found a wife who could only give him two kids, one which wasn’t even his.
He’s also been refusing to sign the divorce papers. Told me there is no way he would ever grant me a divorce, that my rightful place was to be at his side doing whatever it is that he tells me to do, even if that was a beating that “I deserved” as he put it. Zane, Decker’s attorney, and one of his associates were helping me with divorce proceedings and we filed for a divorce without his consent. There was a short waiting period and I was just short of a few weeks away from having my divorce granted.
“I feared him for so long, feared that whatever I did to be beaten was my fault. I feared that if I didn’t change for him he would continue to beat me. So I changed, for him, I did everything that he asked of me and the beatings still happened. I soon learned that no matter who I was he was still going to be him and he wasn’t changing. Once Sarah was able to escape Shawn and live happily, I knew I could to. I knew I could move on and not have to fear him. Living in fear will just tear you apart. So you have to fight beyond any fight you ever fought to find that happiness again.”
“What if I can’t?”
“Maggie, he can’t hurt you anymore. He’s no longer here. He’s dead.”
“I know he’s dead. I killed him,” she screamed at me.
We stopped walking and I gathered her in my arms. I knew this was eating her up. Who wouldn’t be?
“Fuck, that came out wrong. I’m sorry.”
“I know, I know. I’m sorry I snapped,” she sighed into my shoulder.
I pushed the hair out of her face and wiped her cheeks. “Are you talking to anyone?” She shook her head no. “You need to. You need to talk to someone who can help, who knows how to make you understand and cope. Sarah would tell you the same thing if she knew you weren’t getting help.”
She nodded at me. We started walking again. We laughed as the kids ran circles around us and giggled. She made me think of what trouble Jeremy can bring to me. Would he ever show up here? Is there a way he can stop the divorce from being granted? Would there ever be a day that Tyler would realize I’m not all he deserves? I can’t give him a child of his own. What good am I to him?
Would Kris and Felicity be enough for him? Would Payton and Cage be enough? Would we be able to keep Payton and Cage? OCFS said that if no family or the father of the children can’t be found or claim the kids in three months we could start the adoption process. Would Tyler want to adopt them with me?
I could feel something pulling at my gut. Churning around and around, brewing like a storm that was about to come. Something that would destroy and leave great destruction in its wake. I couldn’t put a finger on what exactly it was that was churning at me, but I didn’t want any of it. I didn’t want something to mess up the calm that I had known for almost a year.
That’s when I saw him. He was standing out front of my building, pacing back and forth. I froze to the sidewalk where I stopped. He turned and faced me. His eyes shooting up and meeting mine. That lazy cocky smile, the one that was on his face the first time I met him.
“Jeremy,” I said from where I was standing.
Maggie stiffened next to me and looked at the man standing a few feet down the sidewalk from us. “Man he is gorgeous,” she whispered. “If I didn’t know any better I would hit on him. Are his eyes really that purple?”
“Yes, and hopefully just the thought of Tobias would stop you from hitting on him” I whispered to her. I turned my attention back to Jeremy. “What are you doing here?” His cocky smile turned into a bigger grin. It was the same one that always got me. The same one that I fell in love with all those years ago.
His eyes looked down to the double stroller where Payton and Cage were sitting and then over to Kris and Felicity. They both stepped behind Liam as he looked Jeremy up and down, probably trying to figure out if he could take him by himself or if he should call Jimmy down from the apartment. I found it funny that even his own kids didn’t want to see him, that they would rather hide behind someone than actually talk to their father. Jeremy’s eyes went back to the babies in the stroller.
“Maggie, can you take the kids upstairs?” I asked pushing the stroller over to her, making sure to never take my eyes off of Jeremy. I watched as they walked off past him, thanking silently that he didn’t try to reach out to them or talk to them more. “What do you want?” I asked when they all disappeared in the building.
He looked at Liam as if to say can you give us a minute. Liam just stared back and then grunted, “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Is this really what you want? Living in this place?” he said as his hands made a sweep around the city. “Are you really happy here? Happy with these people?” His eyes shot to Liam. “Raising kids that aren’t even yours?”
Pure unadulterated rage filled me. “How fucking dare you!” I snapped at him. “How fucking dare you come here and try to convince me that I should go back to where you are, so you can what? Beat on me more? Degrade me more? Stay ma
rried to me but make sure to stick your worthless dick in every other whore out there?” I stepped closer to him. “Who cares if they’re not my kids? Who cares whose kids they are? Blood or not we are a family. We all help raise everyone. We all love everyone. We are happy. Did you see your kids? Did you see how they were laughing, smiling, playing around like kids should be? Did you see how happy they were? Can you recall the last time they were that way back home? Because I can’t. Why are you here Jeremy?”
His head dropped and he looked at his feet as he kicked a pebble toward the street. “Kathy left me?”
“Yeah why is that? Did you hit her too? Did you cheat on her?”
“I didn’t mean to.”
“Just like you never meant to hit me. Just like you never meant to break my nose or my eye or my arm? Just like all those bruises you never meant to give me either right? Go get help Jeremy. You haven’t been the same since the accident. Call the VA, get the help you need.”
He reached into his back pocket and pulled out an envelope slapping it on his hand a few times. He looked into my eyes. “I regret not fighting for you that first night. I regret not telling Kristopher you were mine. I fell in love with you the second I walked into the bar and saw you that night. I fucked this up royally.” He held the envelope out to me and I reached for it. “I love you,” he said as he let go and walked off down the sidewalk.
I opened the envelope and pulled out the thick stack of papers. The divorce papers, all signed. I looked back up the sidewalk to where he had walked off to, but he was no longer in sight. How had it come to something so easy, something without even a fight? I was divorced! Just like that. After almost a year of fighting, after almost a year of him saying up and down, left and right, that there was no way in hell I was ever going to get my divorce. That he was never going to step a foot in this state. That my only choice was to go back to Illinois and live my life as his wife, and to take whatever beating or morsel of hope he had given me.
Yet he was here. He just handed me the signed papers. He did it all without ever raising his fist or his voice. I had my life back. I didn’t have to fight for it any more. I didn’t have to fight him!
With happy tears in my eyes, I turned and hugged Liam then skipped off to the building. Stopping at the mailboxes I grabbed everyone’s mail and headed upstairs. I knew the envelope the minute I saw it. The results we had been waiting for. The results of the paternity test. The one that will prove if Tyler is or isn’t the father of Cage.
Part of me wanted to wait for Tyler to get home and open it with him so we can see it together at the same time. But at the same time a greater part of me needed the answer right now and didn’t want to wait for him.
Sarah was at the door arguing with Jimmy about coming down and helping me with Jeremy. She was hopping around on one foot trying to get her shoe on, while Jimmy was pleading with her to get back in bed. She stopped hopping gripping onto Jimmy’s arm for balance when she saw me. I told her to get back in bed as I headed into the kitchen. I told her I would bring her a cup of tea and meet her in her room to discuss what happened.
I stood in the kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil. It seems that whenever something was bothering one of us we all stood in this kitchen, waiting for the water to boil, staring out the window, looking over the city that has brought us all happiness. That envelope was sitting on the counter. It was burning a hole in my brain. I wanted the answer. I wanted to know the truth and not have to wait hours for Tyler to get here.
I couldn’t wait any longer and just as the kettle started to whistle I ripped the envelope open ignoring the noise now filling the kitchen. Tears filled my eyes and threatened to spill over as I read the pages and looked at all the little pictures of DNA markings and charts explain data. None of it really made any sense to me. To me it all looked like just a bunch of numbers and letters. I knew where the answer would be. On the last page of the report, same as the report for when he took the test to prove he wasn’t the father of Payton. Flipping to that page I read the little box with the results. A lone tear finally leaked from my eye as I read the box.
The paper floated to the floor as a tea cup smashed against the wall. Sarah was going to kill me for breaking one of her good cups. Decker and she had taken to buying cheap dishes at a thrift shop for this reason. Decker started it when Sarah first showed up and would fight with Shawn over the phone. I reached for some of the crappy dishes, stopping myself from tossing another good cup. Dish after dish hit the wall. All breaking into tiny little pieces, just like my heart just did.
I walked out of the kitchen ignoring the still whistling tea kettle as Maggie and Liam came running at me. “Watch the kids.” I snapped as I grabbed my purse and keys heading out the door.
“What the fuck is going on?” Sarah said waddling back out of the hallway where her room is.
“It’s his fucking kid!” I hissed as I slammed the front door behind me. I kept pushing the button to the elevator hoping the thing would just hurry up and get there. I heard the front door open and watched in the mirrored doors as Liam came out and stood behind me. I knew Sarah sent him to follow me but I didn’t want anyone. I wanted to be left alone. I wanted to stew in the pissed off mood I was in and then when Tyler was begging to know where I was and to talk to him I was going to let it all go on him.
The door opened and I stepped in and turned right away to stop Liam from coming with me. I tried my but best despite me pushing on his chest as I slammed the button to close the door. He wasn’t going to give up. He wasn’t going to let me go by myself. I knew Sarah would have told him no matter what to stick with me and not let me go off on my own. “I’m sorry,” I said as I raised my knee, knocking him in the balls, sending him to the ground with a grunt. I heard him yell fuck as the doors closed and the elevator descended to parking garage.
I was in the car and reversing out of the spot when I saw the elevator doors open. Liam came out of the doors and looked around for me. He was running up the driveway as I pulled out and into the streets of Manhattan, losing him as I roared down the street in Tyler’s Lexus IS 350 CF Sport.
He fucking lied to me. Over and over he told me he didn’t sleep with her. Over and over he swore that he hasn’t touched her since before Payton was born. Well I guess that was all a lie. I guess everything I had trusted in was just a bunch of bull shit.
Did he know all this time? Did he know she was pregnant? Is this how he treats women, gets them pregnant and leaves them? Moves on to the next woman without even a second thought on the heart he had just broken and left in its wake.
~~~
I must have circled the city three or four times. I wasn’t headed anywhere special. I just needed to be by myself. I needed to think. How could I have been so stupid? How could I have let him play me so bad? Was it his age? The tabloids did have a field day when they found out I was five years older than him. I was being called a Puma at one point, apparently I’m not old enough and there’s not a big enough age gap to be a Cougar, so I was a Puma which is a Cougar in training. Who knew? Was he the playboy like they claimed he was? Was he doing girls in other cities when the team was on the road? Am I just a fuckwit who got caught up in the glam he showed me?
I wasn’t sure what I should believe any more? All I know is the results of that test are the opposite of what he’s been telling me.
I wasn’t sure how I ended up where I did. I guess just driving around put me into a spot I really had no ties with. I sat in the driveway staring at the house. Sat and watched as the front door opened, we stared at each other a few minutes, than the doorway was empty but the door itself remained open, as if inviting me in. I sat for another five minutes in my car before getting out, heading into the house and closed the door behind me.
“What happened now?” his voice said behind me.
I turned to find him standing there holding a bottle of Jack Daniels out to me. I knew I shouldn’t, hard liquor and me were not friends. Hard liquor and me were mortal en
emies, but I reached for the bottle and took a gigantic mouthful, swallowing and relishing in the burn the liquid left as it slid down my throat and into my stomach.
“The fucking bastard lied to me. Swore up and down the baby was not his. Swore to me that he was never with her. But he fucking lied! The baby is his. Has his fucking DNA. How is that possible if he never slept with her?” I took another pull from the bottle. Then another. Before I knew it I was chugging from it and the once full bottle was now half empty.
He took my arm and led me over to the couch. “The game just ended. I take it he has no idea you know.” I shook my head. “How long do you think before him or one of the boys show up?”
I snorted. I knew it wasn’t going to be long. I knew by the way my phone kept ringing. I knew just for the sheer fact that just a few months ago it was only a matter of an hour before we sent Liam after Maggie when she took off. I’m sure they were tracking the GPS on the car just like we had done months ago.
As if on command my phone started ringing. I pulled it out of my purse and scowled at the screen as it lit up with Jimmy’s name. I tossed it on the couch. The ringing stopped but not because it went to voicemail, it stopped because he picked it up. “Hello,” he said into the phone. “Yeah, she showed up here half an hour ago.” He was quiet for a few seconds. “It’s no problem. However long it takes.”
The phone landed on the couch and l looked up at him. “Jacob,” I said his name. “You don’t know me, why are you helping me?”
He sat down on the chair across from me. “We have only just begun getting to know each other. Maggie was a friend a long time ago and I turned my back on her because I was a stupid teenager. She had every right to hate me like she did. But she turned to me a few months ago when everything happened with Tobias. Maggie and I are working on our friendship again. And, I’m getting to know the rest of you as well. I didn’t turn my back when she needed me then, I wouldn’t turn my back on any of you. My house is your house as long as you need it.”
