by Zoey Parker
“Don’t run off so fast,” someone shouted. The attention sizzled on her, in the worst way possible. God, Bastard, why aren’t you here? After their sweet night together, this was an unsavory vulnerability. He could make this right with one quick remark, but no—she was left to the wolves on her own.
Footsteps thudded behind her; someone grabbed her arm. She gasped, spinning around, finding the blond-haired guy leering at her. “You’re Jezebel, right?”
She yanked her arm out of his, gritting her teeth. “Don’t touch me.”
“Hey. You’re in my house,” he said, his voice lowering to a threatening level. “I do what I want in my house.”
Fear sliced through her and she backed up a few steps. “I was here with Bastard. And he’s gone. I’m just going home now, okay?”
He tilted his head back, laughing. “Bastard’s fuck from last night.” He turned to his brothers, repeating his words.
Shame lashed through her and she ran toward the gate without waiting to hear what other mean things he might say to her. Their laughter echoed off the walls of the building as she slipped through the date, not even daring to look back at them as she raced down the sidewalk, tears blurring her vision. She made it a block and a half away before she slowed to pull out her phone.
She drew deep breaths as she pulled up the rideshare app, relaxing only when it said the car was five minutes away. Thank God. She didn’t know where the hell she was, what sort of neighborhood this was. Maybe the Damned Devils headquarters was the worst part of the neighborhood, and she’d barely survived that.
Bastard’s brothers were a brutish bunch. She dealt with misogyny every day, especially in her line of work, but something in their jeers was especially distasteful. It left a sick taste in her mouth, one that she didn’t want to taste again anytime soon.
Bastard, where the fuck are you? She swore at him as she waited. If he’d been so concerned to sneak her in, couldn’t he have snuck her out too? Didn’t seem right to leave her on her own in a foreign clubhouse…especially after the night they’d shared.
Confusion and doubt crept in while she waited for the car to pick her up. And when it arrived, she changed the destination to some place more practical: Andi’s apartment.
She texted her friend on the way over to let her know she was coming. “We need to talk!” After all, the news she had couldn’t be delivered over the phone. It had to be face to face. Kit nibbled on her bottom lip as she imagined Andi’s reaction. There was no telling. She was eager to get it out and off her chest. Last night, things had seemed so simple and obvious. But now, in the light of day…she wondered how simple things could possibly be with Bastard.
Kit thanked the driver as she hurried out of the car at Andi’s complex, racing over the familiar stone steps to her friend’s front door. Andi pulled the door open, looking bewildered.
“What’s got your panties on fire, babe?” They hugged briefly before Andi welcomed her into the apartment toward a breakfast spread in the kitchen.
“We need to talk.” Kit slid onto a stool, eyeing the scrambled eggs and toast laid out. “Did you make this?”
“No, I threw it up.” Andi rolled her eyes, smirking. “Of course I made it. You said you were coming over so I just made extra breakfast. Help yourself.”
“Thanks, girl.” Kit grinned, reaching for the toast. She took a bite before continuing. “So, Bastard showed up last night.”
Andi narrowed her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. “He finally emerged from his cave of sorrowful man?”
Kit snorted. “Or whatever hole he was living in. He found me at the club. Swung by my dressing room after the show to talk.”
Andi’s eyes narrowed further, practically closed with how suspicious she was. “And?”
Kit sighed, giving her a recap of their reunion, door slam and all. When she recounted Bastard’s comments about her breasts, Andi rolled her eyes.
“Typical fucking men.”
“Right.” Kit paused, drumming her fingers against the countertop. “But he was right. About my boobs, I mean. They’re bigger…and more sensitive…” She licked her lips, meeting her friend’s gaze hesitantly. “He asked me if I was pregnant.”
Andi blinked once, and then again. “Well, are you?”
Kit couldn’t even squeak out an answer. All she could do was jerk her head in a nod.
Andi’s eyes went rounder and bigger than Kit had ever seen before. “Holy fucking shit! You’re pregnant!”
Andi squeezed her into a hug, then pulled back, assessing her with a severe look. “Are you keeping it?”
“I…I think so. Yes. I mean…” Emotion burbled up, closing off her throat. “I want to keep it.”
“Oh honey.” Andi squeezed her into another hug. “Of course. This is exciting news, even though it might not feel like it. I’m here with you every step of the way.”
Kit drew a shaky breath. “I hadn’t planned for this. With…him.”
“Well, we rarely do,” she quipped. “But life’s best surprises are just that: surprises. Did you tell him?”
“Yeah. I spent the night at his clubhouse.” She laughed weakly when Andi arched a brow. “I dunno, we talked about stuff. He’s the one who told me to take the test, even took me to buy one.”
“And he bought it?”
She nodded.
“Bastard isn’t totally a bastard then,” Andi remarked. “He’s got a sprinkling of nice guy, I guess.”
Kit sniffed, dabbing at the corners of her eyes. “Yeah, but then this morning he was gone. No note or anything, just gone.” She scoffed, shaking her head. “I dunno. It was so traumatizing, waking up alone in his clubhouse. I’d never been there before, plus all his brothers were just shitty to me as I was leaving.”
Andi drew a long sigh. “Right. Which is exactly how they will continue to be. Because you have to remember: Bastard is in a gang.”
“It’s not a gang,” Kit began.
“No, it is.” Andi crossed her arms, fixing her friend with a flat look. “It’s a freaking motorcycle gang. And gang members are not generally nice.”
Kit gnawed at the inside of her lip.
“I’m just saying: Bastard might appear to be helpful or involved, but you can’t forget his true nature. Who he really is.”
“You don’t know who he really is,” Kit said.
“But either do you.”
A heavy silence settled between the two of them. Kit picked at the corner of the countertop, avoiding Andi’s gaze.
“I’m not trying to be all mama bear on you,” Andi went on, “I just don’t want to see you get hurt. Bastard already hurt you once. If he hurts you again, it’s not just you anymore. It’s both of you.”
Kit sighed, letting her head fall into her hands. “You’re right. And I get it. But what am I supposed to do? He wants to be involved, I want to let him be involved. I want the help. I want the support. I mean, it’s sorta rare for a guy to want to be involved in a situation like this. I should let him be.”
“But when it comes out that he’s not prepared, and never intended to really stay? That’s gonna hurt even more.”
“I don’t know that he’ll do that,” Kit said.
“But you have statistical evidence.” Andi cocked her head. “I’m just trying to protect your heart.”
“So I should just…what? Not let him come around? Tell him he’s having a kid and then bolt?”
Andi shrugged. “I dunno, babe. You’ll know what’s best. But tell me this: are you sure he was planning on showing up today?”
The truth crashed around her, slicing into her with painful lashes. Andi was right. One night with Bastard had gotten her all twisted up into a hopeful, doe eyed reverie. It was time to come back to Earth. Get her feet back on the ground.
“No,” Kit finally croaked out. “I’m not sure. I just figured he had something to do this morning, but—”
“Exactly.” Andi grimaced. “Buying a pregnancy test doesn’t make a ma
n stable. Hell, it doesn’t even make him nice. It just makes him halfway decent.”
Andi busied herself with cleaning up the plates while Kit sat lost in thought, feeling more despondent than ever.
Part of her had been desperate for Bastard, eager to let him back in, all too willing to take the plunge with him at her side.
But her best friend was right. She had nothing to go on. And taking the plunge was a dumb move now that she had a baby on board…and likely no parachute to catch them when they fell.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Bastard was getting irritated.
Two days since Kit jetted from the clubhouse and he couldn’t get someone to answer at Andi’s apartment to save his life.
His motorcycle roared as he pulled into the parking lot of Andi’s complex. Felt like he’d been coming here non-stop the past couple of days. He visited at almost all hours; between runs, on his way to lunch, on his way back to the clubhouse. Just to see if someone would answer then. Kit had been off the last two nights at the club, too, or else he would have made sure she talked to him there.
But Andi was gone. Practically like she moved out. And if Kit was in there, she was hiding real good. Nobody could mistake his knocking for something else. Sometimes even a neighbor answered, thinking it was their own door.
God dammit Kit, where did you go?
He’d been worried, that morning, about leaving her so suddenly. The Damned Devils president had called him at the ripe hour of seven a.m. for an emergency run; he barely had time to pull on his underwear before bolting out the door. Only hours later did he realize Kit would be waking up alone, with no information about where he was, when he’d be back. And like idiots, they still hadn’t exchanged numbers.
Bastard stomped up to the apartment complex as though the determination in his step might somehow influence the outcome this time. Fucking answer, somebody. He needed to find Kit, and keep her around for good this time. Get her goddamn number. Make sure she didn’t fly away an out of his life forever.
Bastard pounded on the door, tense as he awaited the result. There was rustling behind the door, or was he just imagining it? At this point, he could imagine Kit’s voice if he tried hard enough.
No answer. He pounded again, clenching and unclenching his fists as he waited. He’d come here day and night for a year if he had to.
Thump thump thump. Third try. This time, in the bloated silence between pounding on the door, he did hear a rustle. Footsteps, even. And then finally…
“Jesus, what do you want?” A bleary eyed Andi opened the door, squinting up at Bastard with one eye. “Oh, it’s you.”
“Yeah, it’s me.” Bastard swallowed a knot of anxiety. “Where’s Kit?”
Andi straightened, clarity making steps across her face. “Why should I tell you?”
Bastard deflated. Hard balling the only person with information about Kit probably wasn’t the best approach. “I need to see her. I need to talk to her. She left the clubhouse the other morning before I could get back and explain.”
Andi’s eyes narrowed. “And I’m sure you had some perfectly wonderful explanation, didn’t you?”
Bastard’s nostrils flared. He should have expected this resistance from Andi. She probably didn’t think so highly of him. And probably neither did Kit anymore. Not that he’d really started out with such a high score card.
“I know you don’t wanna hear it. And that’s fine. But I’m not gonna stop coming here until I get to see her. She’s carrying my baby. I need to talk to her.”
Andi’s mouth formed a thin line and she crossed her arms, eyes boring into him like a drill. “She’s not here.”
Bastard sighed. “Okay. When will she be back?”
“She doesn’t come around much anymore.” Andi picked at something on the doorframe, her bottom lip jutted out. “She doesn’t live here. She got her own place.”
Bastard nodded, shoving his hands into his pockets. This was progress, at least. “It too much to ask for you to tell me where she’s at now?”
Andi laughed bitterly. “Nice try, bud. I’m not giving that up.”
“Fine. Worth a shot.” He gnawed on the inside of his lip, wondering where to go from here. “Can you at least give me her number?”
“You seriously don’t have it?”
“No.”
Andi scoffed. “It’s the 21st century. You don’t survive if you don’t have people’s numbers.”
“Yeah, point made.” He worked his jaw from side to side. “Listen, I just want to talk to Kit. Can you help me out or not? I don’t need to be reminded of all the ways I’ve fucked up.”
Andi seemed to soften at that comment. She let a small sigh, studying something on the ground. “How about I take your number, and then see if she wants it?”
“Fine. Whatever gets me closer to her.”
Andi disappeared into the apartment and then returned a moment later with her phone. It was hard to believe he’d ever been on the inside of her place. Drinking wine like he belonged. That time felt like eons ago now. Before he’d burned Kit. Before he was going to be a dad.
“You haven’t gone back to her work?” Andi swiped her phone on.
“No, I have. She just hasn’t been in. Trust me, I’ve checked.”
Andi sniffed. “Okay. Tell me your number.”
Bastard relayed his number. Once Andi confirmed it was correct, a tense silence passed between them.
“She probably won’t be at that bar much longer,” Andi said. “Just so you know. She’s been looking for work that’ll better support her as a single mom.”
Bastard’s chest tightened. Seemed like in just a few days, Kit had gone ahead and made a whole lot of decisions without him. Probably she thought he’d never come back, and that she’d have to forge ahead on her own. Kit, you couldn’t be more wrong. “Single mom?”
“Yeah.” Andi shrugged. “You know how it is. Easy enough for guys to slip away, just never come back. She’s the one who’s gotta deal with this. She’s the one who needs to be prepared.”
Andi was right, but her words grated on him all the same. She didn’t know his past…didn’t know how wrong she’d be. “Yeah, well, Kit’s not gonna be a single mom. Sorry if that bursts your bubble, but I’m gonna be around for this kid.”
Andi looked him up and down, her expression the equivalent of I’ll believe it when I see it. “Well. I’ll pass on your message.”
“Thanks.” Bastard didn’t want to leave. It felt like closing this small window of connection to Kit, but what else was there to say? If he stuck around much longer, he and Andi would probably start fighting.
He jerked himself away from her door, heading for his bike while his mind spun with questions and worries. It didn’t seem right that he couldn’t talk to Kit right away. And even though it pissed him off, he respected Andi’s protection of her friend. She was a good friend, even if it presented a major roadblock for his goals.
But he wasn’t giving up. Oh no. Kit would see him soon, whether at work or somewhere else.
Now that she had his baby, he had no choice but to make her his.
***
Kit was only half ready when the knock on her door sounded. It was either Gary or Bastard, and her heart nearly burst out of her chest with hope that it was the latter. He was the only one bold enough to approach her dressing room after so many fuck ups, and part of her liked the thought that he was still trying to make good with her.
Andi had told her he’d stopped by and asked for her number. That seemed promising. But she wasn’t going to get her hopes up. She’d let it sit for a few days before reaching out.
Just like he lets things sit for a while before doing any damn thing about it.
She sauntered toward the door, heart in her throat as she pulled it open. Gary stood on the other side, dark brow arched.
“What’s up?” She pushed an earring through her lobe, disappointment tremoring through her.
“You have a visitor.”
Hope sparked once more. It could still be him. “Who is it?”
“Burly biker type. Same guy who came back here last week.”
“Oh.” She tried not to let the excitement show on her face. If she was going to be strong and steady and stable, it started by not falling for someone like Bastard. It started by standing up to these childish, whimsical fantasies about falling in love. “What does he want?”
“Well, he wants to see you. I told him I’d ask if he could come back here.”
“Thanks for asking first this time,” she said dryly, heading back to her vanity. She settled onto the soft cushion, her cheeks lit up as she considered her options. If he came back here…she might completely dissolve into his arms. Images of their steamy night at the clubhouse flooded her, sent her thighs clenching together. The only good memory of that place was that night, locked away in his room. The rest of the clubhouse was a sty, fit to be burned. She scowled. “Let him come back. I don’t care.”
