by Marisa Logan
“I know what you mean.” Jeremy pulled off his wig and ran his hand through his buzz cut hair.
“Ahh!” Jenny squealed. “You've got a fuzzy cut!”
She reached out and ran her fingers through his hair, just like she had to her little brother when he'd started getting a buzz cut last year. It was soft and felt tingly against her fingers.
Jeremy laughed and tried to duck away. “Geez, stop!”
“Aww, what, you don't like that?” She rubbed his head again. “Come on, you're good luck!”
He tried to duck away, laughing, but she got him pinned against the dresser. She poked him under his robes, and found out he was extremely ticklish. “Oh, this is great!” She tickled him more, until he started doubling over laughing. “My siblings are never ticklish. Now I can see why they love tickling me so much. It's a power trip!”
After a minute he held up a hand to ward her off. He was wheezing. Jenny backed away, clutching her hands to her chest. “Oh, crap. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to kill you.”
Jeremy pulled an inhaler from his suitcase and took a couple of puffs. He sat on the bed, catching his breath. “It's okay,” he said once he regained his composure. “Not your fault. Stupid lungs.”
“I'm sorry,” she said again. She sat next to him and hugged him. He leaned against her. They were quiet for a long moment, until Jenny started to wonder if she should pull away. Jeremy held himself very still, almost as if he were afraid to move.
She sat back and reached up to pull the bobby pins from her hair. She shook her hair out, letting her natural brunette tresses fall over her shoulders and down her back. Jeremy watched her the entire time.
“What?”
“Nothing.” He looked away.
“It's something. What, is my hair a mess?” She looked into the mirror that hung over the dressed, running her fingers through her hair.
“No. Really no.”
“Then what?”
He looked at her again, struggling to meet her eyes. “It's just that you're really pretty.”
She dropped her hands into her lap, studying him. “Dork.” She lightly punched him on the arm.
He smiled, looking down at his feet. “I'm serious.”
She laughed and shook her head. “No. I'm a mess. I don't have any makeup on or anything, and my hair is a disaster.”
“Well, I think you're beautiful.”
He looked up at her, catching her eyes. There was something sweet and shy in the way he looked at her. She wrung her hands in her lap, unsure what to say. But a smile spread on her lips.
He looked at her lips. She wondered what he was thinking. She wondered if maybe he wanted to kiss her. She was pretty sure she wanted him to.
After a moment, he turned away. Jenny sat there, confused. Had she been misreading his signals? Or was he just too shy to make a move?
She scooted closer to him and reached out to take his hands in hers. He looked back up at her again. She gave him an encouraging smile. Is this how to flirt? she wondered. Or should I just make the first move?
After a moment, when neither one of them did anything, she scooted even closer, leaning her head against his shoulder. He reached up and ran his fingers through her hair. She closed her eyes, savoring his gentle touch. He touched her like she was something delicate, something to be cherished. She pressed herself closer against him. No one had ever touched her like that before.
When she opened her eyes, she saw his face was closer to hers. She licked her lips. She leaned forward, tilting her face towards his.
He pulled her into his arms, and he kissed her.
Chapter 7
They spent almost an hour sitting there on the bed, awkwardly making out. At first, Jenny had no idea what to do. She'd never been kissed before. She didn't know how to move her lips, so the first time, she just let him kiss her, holding very still. Before long they found a rhythm with each other, her lower lip pulled gently between his lips, his tongue brushing every so slightly against her lip. Her body was trembling, and she kept pulling back away from him, giggling.
“Sorry,” she whispered, feeling like a fool for acting so silly.
“It's okay.”
She kissed him again, trying to be sexy, to be desirable. She wasn't sure what to do with her hands. She laid them against his chest, then held onto his shoulders. He pulled her close and she shifted to slip one leg behind him, the other sprawled across his lap.
They stared into each other's eyes. She'd hoped for something like this from the time they first made plans to come to the convention together. But she hadn't thought he would really like her.
She was torn between embarrassment and desire. The urge to explore this new discovery further, and the fear that this was too much, too fast.
She got up, shaking her hands to expel the pent up energy she was feeling. “Maybe we should go back downstairs,” she said. “For now, I mean. I'm kinda hungry.”
“Yeah,” he said. “Me too.”
They left the wigs and props behind, though Jenny kept her tight leather outfit on. She was afraid to go back to her old, boring self. What if Jeremy only wanted her when she was Anastasia Star? What if plain old Jenny Campbell wasn't good enough for him? She didn't want to turn him off with her chaste skirts and sensible blouses.
Jeremy went into the bathroom to change into jeans and his new convention t-shirt. She thought he looked adorable in his normal clothes, like a big cuddly teddy bear. She felt a bit overdressed, but she was too in love with the seductive look of the Crimson Star to give it up just yet.
They headed back down to the convention and had dinner in one of the buffet-style dining rooms. Then they made the circuits of the author tables, where comic authors sold their wares and offered autographs. Jenny got some pictures with a few webcomic artists she adored, and some of them gave her free sketches. Her only regret was that she didn't have enough money to buy any books. She had to save what she had left for bus fare back home, and she didn't want to let Jeremy spend any more money on her.
They walked hand-in-hand through the different rooms of the convention. Jenny wondered if this was what it felt like to be a “couple.” Except she knew they weren't really a couple. Sooner or later, she'd have to catch a bus back home, and Jeremy would go back to Philadelphia. But she wouldn't let herself think about that. Not yet.
Later in the night, they sat together at a panel where several well-known comic authors and celebrities were talking about the evolution of the comic industry into a mainstream genre that was accepted by the general public. Several guest speakers shared stories about how, as kids, they'd been teased for liking comic books. How their parents told them to read “real books.” But today, with Marvel and DC making hit blockbuster movies every year, the pastime that many people had once enjoyed in shame was becoming more widely accepted around the world.
“I wish it were accepted in my house,” Jenny whispered to Jeremy. They sat close together, holding hands.
“Your mom really doesn't like comics?”
“She doesn't like anything that isn't Christian.” Jenny sighed and shook her head. “I wasn't even allowed to read Harry Potter.”
“What? Why?”
“Because they're witches.” Jenny rolled her eyes. “And to a fundamentalist Christian like my mom, that means they get their powers from the devil.”
“That's ridiculous.”
“Tell me about it. I had to sneak off to the library and read the books there.”
“Well, I hope one day you get out of there.”
Jenny leaned her head against Jeremy's shoulder. “Me too,” she whispered. Though she didn't think it would ever happen. Her mom wouldn't even let her get a job, and without a job, she couldn't save up the money she needed to get out on her own.
After the panel ended, they headed back out to the lobby, still holding hands. “I might have to go soon,” Jenny said.
“Already?”
The disappointment on his face nearly broke Jenn
y's heart. “I've got to catch a bus back home before it gets too late.”
“I was hoping you'd stay for the rest of the convention.” He hung his head, holding tight onto her hand, as if afraid to let her go. “The best stuff is tomorrow. There's going to be a screening of this new indie comic movie. And a couple of big time comic artists are going to be doing signings, but only for the one day.”
Jenny pouted. She wanted to stay, too. And not just for the convention. “I can't. I don't have any money for a room. Besides, they're all booked up.”
She knew as she said those words that he would make the offer. She wanted him to say it. She was just too shy to ask him directly.
“Well...” He cleared his throat, looking down at his shoes. “You could always stay in my room.”
Jenny's face heated up. She almost wasn't sure if she should say yes, even though she'd practically tricked him into making the offer. Her mind raced, thinking about all the possibilities. She thought about what her mom would say if she spent the night in a hotel room with a man she barely knew. About what her friends and family would think of her, if she went through with what she wanted to do. And she thought about how she hadn't thought to bring any condoms and didn't know where she could find any.
“You sure I won't be in the way?” Jenny asked. She smiled and bit her lower lip.
“Definitely not.”
She kissed him, more deeply and aggressively than she had earlier. She wanted to make sure he got the message.
“Good,” she whispered. “I'll meet you upstairs. I just need to grab something first.”
“Okay.” He looked a bit confused, but he headed for the elevator without questioning what she was up to.
There was a small shop just off the lobby, selling toothbrushes, aspirin, and a variety of other goods that travelers might need while on the road. She went inside and looked around, though she didn't spot what she was looking for. She ended up having to ask the cashier. She leaned across the counter and whispered her request to the woman, embarrassed to tell another person out loud what she was here to buy. The cashier gave her a conspiratorial smile and opened up a case behind the counter where they kept the “adult” products. Jenny bought a three-pack of condoms, using the rest of the money Hank had given her, and trying her best not to think what her mother would say if she saw her with them.
Jenny no longer believed in God. But if there was a God, she knew, then He most definitely had a sick sense of humor. Because while she was crossing the lobby, condoms in hand, her new ruby pendant sparkling in her very noticeable cleavage, she heard a grating voice call out, “Jennifer!”
She turned to look, and there, stalking through the front doors of the hotel, was her mother.
Chapter 8
“Mom?” Jenny stared in mute shock. “What are you doing here?”
“What in the blazes are you wearing?” Her mother grabbed the lapel of her leather jacket and tugged on it, her mouth twisted in disgust. “Cover yourself up this instant! Can you imagine the ideas you're putting into the heads of all these impressionable young boys.”
Jenny was planning on putting some ideas into a certain boy's head, but she had to get rid of her mother first. “Mom, go home. I can't believe you! You really came all the way down here?”
“I'm taking you home.” Her mother grabbed her by her wrist. “This place is clearly the devil's workshop.” She looked around at all the cosplayers. One man dressed as a demon with red skin and horns bared his teeth at her. She grimaced and headed for the door, pulling Jenny along.
“No! I'm not going anywhere with you.”
Jenny yanked her wrist from her mother's hand. As she did so, the box of condoms fell to the floor.
Her mother stared at it, her face going pale. “Jennifer Marie Campbell, just what are you doing up here? I didn't raise my daughter to be a dirty whore!”
“You didn't 'raise' me at all.” Jenny snatched the condoms back off the floor. “You made me raise the kids, and I had to teach myself everything.”
“Jennifer...”
“No, Mom!” Jenny glared at her mother, her fists clenched. “You're so deluded. You think people here are really worshiping the devil?” She gestured around at all the cosplayers, most of whom were staring at them. “They're just people, Mom. People having a fun time. People who know more about how to embrace life than you ever will. For God's sake, you barely ever even leave the house, and you keep your kids cooped up in there with you. That's no way to live!”
“Jennifer, you will not speak to me this way.”
“Or what?” Jenny leaned forward, challenging her mother to do anything about it. “What are you going to do? I'm nineteen. I can do what I want.”
“I won't have a filthy whore living under my roof.” Her mother glared at her with a deadly gaze.
“Well then maybe I won't live under your roof anymore!”
She turned and stalked away. Several people in the crowd started clapping. More people joined in, and soon they were applauding her as she stormed off, leaving her mother shouting behind her. She didn't know if the people thought this had been some sort of show for the convention, or if they were just proud of her for standing up to her mother. Either way, it felt empowering.
She went upstairs and knocked on Jeremy's door. As soon as he opened it, she grabbed him and pushed him into the room, kissing him.
He returned the kiss, stumbling backwards. He raised his hands, holding them as if he weren't sure whether to push her away or pull her closer. She pinned him against the wall, pressing her body against his.
“Wait,” he said, breathless. “Jen, slow down. Let's slow down, okay?”
He looked up at her, breathless. She was sure he was more experienced than her; he'd mentioned one or two ex-girlfriends before. But right then, she didn't care about her lack of experience. She wasn't going to be the shy, sheltered virgin anymore.
“Do you want me?” She looked into his eyes, letting him see her hunger.
“Yes. Of course.”
“Then shut up and take me.”
He didn't argue with her any more after that.
***
She sat awake for a time, watching Jeremy sleep. Part of her couldn't believe what she'd just done. Another part of her didn't understand why so many people feared this, or called it a sin. With the way some people talked about sex, she had built it up in her mind as this monumental, life-changing thing that would turn her into something else, some heathen sinner that would never be the same. But it had been something simpler than that. Something more pure. A melding of two souls. A series of moments, shared in the most intimate way, where nothing else mattered. Jenny had forgotten all about her mother, about her troubles at home, about anything else in the world except this experience she was sharing with another living soul. For that short time, nothing else at all had mattered.
She pulled one of the sheets off the bed, leaving Jeremy snoozing under a thick blanket, and sat in the chair by the window. She looked out over the city, watching as the sun slowly rose, bathing her in its warm, renewing light. She hadn't been transformed by this night. But she did feel cleansed. Like she'd finally cast off her worries and realized that whatever she wanted in the world was hers, if she only had the nerve to reach out and take it.
She huddled there in the chair, wrapped in the sheet, and thought about what would be in store for her when she went back home and tried to fit herself back into her old, mundane life.
Chapter 9
When Jeremy woke up, they showered, then got dressed to head back down to the convention. Jenny wore her new convention t-shirt, though she didn't know what else to wear with it. She didn't want to dress up in her costume again, and like it or not, she only owned skirts, not pants. She silently made a vow that as soon as she got out of her mother's house and did her own shopping, it would be all pants, all the time.
She pulled out a clean skirt, frowning at it. It looked far too frumpy and concealing. It just wouldn't do at
all.
“Do you have some scissors?” she asked Jeremy.
“Umm, yeah. Well, little ones.” He dug into his bag and pulled out a Swiss army knife. There was a little pair of scissors attached, though they wouldn't do for cutting through cloth.
Jenny took the knife and flipped open the biggest blade on it. Jeremy stared as she sliced a big slit through her skirt. Once she had it started, she grabbed the cloth from both sides and ripped. She used the scissors to cut off the stray threads, then pulled on the skirt.
“Wow,” she said, looking at herself in the mirror. “That is short.”
“Very short,” Jeremy said.
Jenny smoothed the cutoff skirt and looked at it from several angles. It barely covered her ass. Which, she decided, was pretty much perfect.
“Let's go.” She flashed Jeremy a smile and gave him a kiss.
They had a continental breakfast down in the main dining room, along with the other conventioneers who had stayed the night in the hotel. Things were fairly slow this early in the morning, but there were plenty of events still to be seen later in the day. Jenny and Jeremy enjoyed the quiet time together, sitting close and holding hands as they ate. Then they moved to one of the lounges and cuddled together on a sofa. Jenny leaned against Jeremy, with his arms wrapped around her. She felt warm, and safe, and more relaxed than she ever remembered being before.
“I'm really glad you came up here,” Jeremy said, stroking her hair.
“Me too.”
“So, umm. What happens next?”
“What do you mean?” She twisted around in his arms to peer up at him.
“I mean, with us. After this weekend.”
Jenny turned back around and leaned her head against Jeremy's shoulder. She didn't know the answer to that question. She knew that soon, Jeremy would have to head home to Philadelphia. And she'd have to go back to her mother.
“I don't want to think about it right now,” she said.
“Okay. Whatever you want.”
They spent the rest of the day together, enjoying the time they had. They stood in line for autographs, sneaking kisses when no one else was looking. They got seats for the movie screening, though halfway through they stopped paying attention to the film and started making out. At the end, the film producers sent around questionnaires to find out what everyone thought so they could make edits before the real premiere. Jenny fumbled her way through half the questions, since she had no idea how the movie had ended.
