by Marisa Logan
Her voice caught in her throat. She couldn't find the answer.
“It's okay, dear,” the woman said, patting her hand. “You don't have to answer.”
Jenny swallowed a lump in her throat and nodded, wiping away the tears that started welling in her eyes. Though she realized that even if the woman wouldn't make her answer, these were questions that she was going to have to figure out on her own.
She was shown to a room with a small bed, a dresser, and a private bathroom. The woman handed her some pamphlets for her to read, and explained the rules, which mostly involved no drugs or alcohol and no male visitors. Then she gave Jenny a list of resources the shelter offered, including counseling services, job placement assistance, and other guidance.
When the woman left, Jenny sat down on the bed. The mattress was hard and thin, but it was far better than sleeping outdoors or in a train car. She laid down and pulled Mr. Fabulous the Zebra from her bag, clutching him to her chest.
Tomorrow, she promised herself, she would begin taking charge of her new life.
Chapter 18
The next day, Jenny took a good, long, hot shower, scrubbing away all of the dirt and grime from her cross-country adventure. Once she was clean, she borrowed a pair of scissors from one of her new neighbors in the shelter and stood in her bathroom, looking at her reflection in the mirror. She'd grown out her hair for years, and when it wasn't a tangled mess, it was long, flowing, and very feminine. Which was the traditional expectation for girls from her part of Georgia. Anyone with short hair was called a “tomboy” or worse.
She took the scissors to her hair and started chopping it off. Long tresses rained down around her, littering the bathroom floor. She didn't stop until her hair was so short it barely touched her ears. She teased it and played with it as best she could, keeping a touch of feminine style, but the end result was still a shocking change. She barely recognized herself.
She got dressed and headed downstairs to have breakfast with the other residents of the shelter. Her appearance drew a lot of stares, and not just because of her hair. She took the attention as a good sign. Everything was going according to plan.
After she ate, she headed across the city with one of several possible destinations in mind. She'd printed up maps with walking directions to get where she was going, though it turned out the squared-off grids of the city blocks made navigation pretty easy.
She reached her destination and walked in with a purposeful stride. She'd once read an article online that said if you wanted to get noticed, you had to “Walk like you'd just been sent to kill Captain America.” She kept that in mind as she moved with deadly grace, past several gawking men who peered at her in between browsing the shop's wares.
She moved past racks of comic books and action figures, her eyes on the front counter. There was a man behind the counter, maybe in his late twenties or early thirties, wearing a blue plaid shirt and sporting a short-cropped beard. He eyed her with as much interest as everyone else in the comic book store.
She slapped her job application down on the counter and held it there with one of her nightsticks. She was dressed in her leather Crimson Star outfit, including the red-tinted sunglasses. The only thing she was missing was her lost wig, but her haircut drew enough attention to make up for that. “Hi,” she said, looking the man right in the eye. “I'm here to apply for your job opening.”
The man grinned, rubbing his chin and looking her up and down. “Crimson Star? Nice.”
“I go by Jen.” She winked at him.
“Well, Jen Star. I must say, I've never had someone come to apply for a job while wearing a full superhero costume before.”
Jenny glanced around the shop. Most of the guys in there were still watching her, though trying to make it seem like they weren't. Between the tight leather, the low-cut top, and her confident attitude, she knew she was the center of attention.
“I'm smart,” she said, looking the man in the eye. “I'm a hard worker. And I know my comics as well as any man. You should hire me.”
He considered her, then gave the application a cursory glance. He set it aside, then nodded for her to follow as he headed towards the office in the back. “Let's talk.”
She followed him into the office. It was small and cramped, most of the space taken up by a desk covered in paperwork. They sat and the man crossed his legs, folding his hands atop one knee. “You definitely know how to get someone's attention. I've only had a few applicants so far, but none of them have made the impression you have. I'm Chaz, by the way.”
“Nice to meet you.” Jenny set her nightsticks on the desk, then sat and waited. This was as far as her big plan had gone, and she had no idea what else to say. She'd never been on a job interview before.
“So, you know comics?” Chaz asked. “Let's see just how well you know your stuff. What's Superman's real name?”
“Kal-El,” she said. “Come on, that's easy.”
“Just getting warmed up.” He crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. “What's Peter Parker's middle name.”
“Benjamin,” she said. “After his Uncle Ben, the one who died.”
“Okay, okay. Time for the hard stuff. What is Robin's real name?”
“Which one?” Jenny asked. “There have been at least five, not counting alternate versions from different Earths, like Carrie Kelley, who isn't considered canon.”
“Good enough.” Chaz snorted. “Okay, last question. DC or Marvel?”
Jenny had to stop and think about that for a moment. The fan base of the big two publishers could be pretty heavily split, though Jenny herself had always been more partial to indie comics, like the Crimson Star. Finally, she said, “Marvel has the better movies, DC has the better TV shows, but I'll take indie comic books any day.”
Chaz laughed and slapped his knee. “Good answer! Well...” He considered her, chewing on his lip. “Well, Jen, I like you. You've got spunk, and that's great. Is this your first job?”
“Yeah,” she said, “I never worked anywhere before. Heck, this is my first interview.”
“Well, the work itself is easy. I can teach you to run a cash register. A lot of the rest is helping keep the shelves stocked and organized, and answering questions for customers. You think you can handle that?”
“Definitely.” Jenny grinned wide.
“Good. When can you start?”
“Today.”
Chaz laughed. “Ha! You don't hold back, do you?”
“Not anymore.”
They started filling out paperwork right away. Jenny had to put the address of the women's shelter on her papers, since she didn't have a place to live yet. But she'd made an amazing accomplishment, and she knew the rest would start falling into place.
She knew she had a lot of things left to do before her new life would really be on track. She'd need an apartment, a phone, a bank account, new clothes, and furniture. But there was only one other thing that was an immediate concern.
Her next goal was to find Jeremy somewhere in this big, chaotic city, and find out if he really wanted to be hers.
Chapter 19
Jenny spent the next week working at her new job in the comic shop, and in her spare time, she made frequent visits to the library to use the computers. She got back into a daily routine of talking to Jeremy online, sending emails, and writing together on their fan fiction. She didn't tell him that she was already in Philadelphia, which she felt guilty about, but she was still waiting for the right time to broach the subject.
She also went through the steps of getting a copy of her birth certificate from Georgia so she could get herself an ID. After she got her first paycheck, she opened a bank account, put most of the money into it to save for her apartment, and kept a bit so she could buy some clothes and other necessities. She shopped at a used clothing store to save money, and started developing a whole new look. She traded in all of her old skirts and blouses for shorts, tank tops, t-shirts, and tight jeans that showed off her hips. Be
tween the new wardrobe and her new haircut, she already felt transformed. No longer the old sheltered, homeschooled girl from Georgia. She was turning herself into a city girl.
When she felt the time was right, when she knew she could face him as someone standing on her own two feet instead of someone who needed charity, Jenny made her move while she and Jeremy were talking in a private chat room.
So, she typed, biting her lip and trying not to feel nervous, I've got a job opportunity in Philly. When I head up there, do you want to get together?
Of course! he replied. What's the job?
Jenny drummed her fingers on the library desk. She hated lying to him. She wanted to tell him she already had the job. But she couldn't bear the idea of him knowing she had run away from home, and spent two days hitching rides and sleeping outdoors, only to end up staying in a shelter.
I'll tell you after I find out if I get the job, she typed. I don't want to jinx it.
Okay. So, when will you be here? We should go out to dinner. To celebrate. New beginnings and all that.
She picked a night when she wasn't working and they made arrangements. When he asked where she wanted to go for dinner, she picked a cheap restaurant not far from the shelter, so she could walk there and meet him. She dodged his questions about whether she was staying in a hotel or if she wanted to crash at his place, not wanting to tell him the truth. He seemed so excited to see her that he didn't press much for details.
When the day came, she got to the restaurant early, bouncing with nervousness. She checked her reflection in the window, running her fingers through her hair. She'd continued touching it up, and now her hair was nearly as short as a buzz cut in the back, but with a bouncy floof on top of her head. She wore a tank top and very short shorts, showing off her long legs. She still heard her mother's voice in the back of her head, shaming her for dressing in such a way, but that voice was growing more distant as she became more comfortable in her new life.
She saw Jeremy approaching as he walked from the parking lot. Her stomach churning in knots, she stood there waiting for him. He smiled when he saw her, looking her up and down with an expression of awe. “Wow, look at you! You changed your hair.”
“Yeah.” She shyly ran her fingers through what was left of it. “I felt like I needed a change.”
“I love it.”
She smiled and pulled him into her arms, hugging him tight. They held each other for a long moment, while people passed by them on the sidewalk. When she pulled back, Jenny took his hand, and they headed into the restaurant together.
While they ate, they caught up on everything that had been happening in their lives lately. Though Jenny kept having to twist her answers around to avoid certain topics.
“Well, it was a long trip,” she said when he asked her about the journey from Georgia. “I ran into a couple of creeps, but mostly it was okay.”
“Creeps?” Jeremy asked, a look of concern on his face. “What, like on the bus?”
Jenny laughed and looked away, trying to figure out a way to avoid telling the story of the man she'd pepper sprayed on the side of the highway. “Anyway, how's things at your job?”
“Good. Kinda slow. Working on debugging some programs, and I can't for the life of me remember what I did with some of these functions.”
When she couldn't figure out how to dodge questions about her trip and her job hunt any longer, Jenny started talking about different things. The way the city was so big and new to her. How much different it was from Georgia. The way she felt like she was transforming, like the city was slowly turning her into someone new.
“It's like, my entire life I wasn't me, you know?” she said. “Like I was my mother's daughter, living things her way, according to her rules. And it wasn't until I got out that I started realizing who I really am.”
“Well, I think who you really are is a lot happier,” Jeremy said.
“You think so?”
“Definitely. I can tell just by the way you talk. Whenever we talked online while you were living in Georgia, you always seemed so subdued. Like the world was weighing you down. The only time I felt like I could see you getting past that was when you wrote about Anastasia.”
“Really?” Jenny frowned, thinking about that. “Was my writing really so different?”
“It was.” He tapped his fork against his plate while he searched for the right words. “It was like, your writing would always be so bold, so adventurous. Which is kinda the point of writing sometimes, you know? I do the same thing in my writing. I write Wilhelm like the way I want to be. Strong, bold, powerful. Good with women.”
Jenny reached across the table and took his hand, giving it a squeeze. “I think you're pretty good with women. Well, with one woman at least.”
He blushed and looked down at his lap. She giggled and squeezed his hand again. He was so cute when he got flustered like that. It just made her want to kiss his face.
When they finished dinner, they walked outside, holding hands. Jeremy cleared his throat, looking down at his shoes. “So,” he said, “I don't know if you want me to drop you off, or...”
She touched her fingers under his chin to raise his face towards hers, then pressed her lips against his. “Can we go back to your place?”
His face turned red. “Umm, yeah. I mean, as long as you want to.”
“I definitely want to.”
He drove them back to his apartment. It was small, but comfortable, with a well-worn sofa, an old computer desk, and several video game consoles that were hooked up to the TV. There was some laundry on the floor, but Jeremy quickly kicked it behind the sofa. “Sorry. I didn't have time to clean up.”
She looked around the apartment, finding that the messiest things there were a few empty soda cans on the desk and two dishes in the sink. Compared to the chaos she was used to seeing at her mom's house in Georgia, that made the place positively spotless. “Don't worry about it,” she said.
He offered her a drink, but she had other things in mind. She kissed him. He put his arms around her, running his fingers along her lower back. She shivered and held him tighter, caressing his neck with her fingers.
“Where's the bedroom?” she whispered.
***
In the morning, they held each other and cuddled under the blankets until it was time to get up. They shared a simple breakfast of cold cereal and milk, until Jeremy told her he had to get ready for work.
“Yeah, me too, actually,” Jenny said, checking the clock.
“Oh, you got that job?” he asked. “You never did tell me where it was.”
She smiled bashfully. “Cashier at a comic book store.”
“Really?” He grinned. “That's so cool. Do you get an employee discount?”
She laughed and looped her arm through his, promising him she'd take him shopping there one day soon.
He dropped her off at work, and she spent the day in a pleasant buzz, humming to herself as she stocked the shelves and reorganized comics that the customers had left out of order when they flipped through them. At the end of the day, she used the store's phone to call Jeremy to make another date. Then she walked to the shelter to change clothes before meeting Jeremy for dinner again.
Over the next couple of weeks, they fell into an easy routine. She spent every night at his place, sometimes after having dinner in the city, other times simply staying in and watching movies together on Netflix. She started catching up on all of the movies her mother had banned her from seeing when she was younger, starting with Rocky, a movie that was a true part of Philadelphia. Each morning, Jeremy drove her to work, and he offered her rides whenever she had other errands to run.
One day, after a few weeks had passed, Jenny realized she hadn't slept in her room at the women's shelter since her first night with Jeremy. Most of her clothes were at Jeremy's place, left there on days when she changed into clean clothes she had brought over the night before. She'd even brought Mr. Fabulous with her, insisting that he share the b
ed with her and Jeremy. Jeremy hadn't protested the presence of the sparkly pink zebra, and one day he even brought her a bright purple giraffe as a gift, so that Mr. Fabulous would have a friend.
She sat on Jeremy's bed, in the middle of getting dressed, coming to terms with the realization that they were, for all intents and purposes, living together. It hadn't been a conscious choice, but it had been a comfortable one. They'd fallen into such a simple, wonderful routine together that she felt like this was the way her life should be. She hadn't even given a moment's thought to searching for her own apartment, even though she had finally saved up enough money to afford to put down a security deposit on one.
Jeremy came into the room while she was lost in thought. He scrounged on the ground for his shoes and pulled them on. “You ready, babe?”
“Yeah.” She looked up at him, deep in consideration.
“What's up?” he asked. “Is something wrong?”
“No. Definitely not.”
She got up and wrapped her arms around him, kissing him tenderly. Then she pulled back and looked into his eyes. “Hey,” she said, “what do you think about me moving in here?”
He grinned, his eyes lighting up. “Yeah? You want to?”
“Do you?”
“Of course.” His grin widened. He kissed her and his hands roamed, squeezing her in a way that made her giggle and squeal.
That night she brought the rest of her things over from the shelter. After dinner, she used Jeremy's computer to update her bank account with her new official address. Then she realized she hadn't contacted her mother in weeks. It was time, she decided, to see if that was a bridge that could be mended.
She loaded her email and sat down to write out a message:
To: [email protected]
