by Marisa Logan
“Pioneer Park will have an open air bluegrass concert,” she said as she colored it in. “Do you like bluegrass?”
“Sure,” Mandy said absently.
“There’s a fair with rides at the fairgrounds.”
“Hmmm…” was the only reply to that.
Mandy was lost in her own thoughts as Katie chattered on.
They both jumped when Katie’s phone rang.
Katie’s friends were planning a trip to the movies and a sleepover. They wanted to know if she could come too. Katie looked at Mandy with puppy dog eyes and mouthed a silent, ‘please’.
Mandy didn’t see any reason why she couldn’t go and nodded her okay.
With a shriek, Katie told her friends yes and hurried off to get ready. She yelled back at Mandy that Amanda’s mother would be picking her up in half an hour. Her words were punctuated by the pounding of her feet up the stairs.
Mandy sighed as she folded the newspaper and put away the rest of the breakfast dishes. With Katie gone and Darren at work, she wasn’t sure what to do with herself. With a start, she realized that she’d been in Alaska nearly a month already and she hadn’t had a single day off in all that time, nor had there been any discussion of payment for her services. She frowned as she thought about how her role as nanny had quickly morphed into something else. The bigger problem was that ‘something else’ had no real boundaries or definition.
She and Katie spent their days together and when it was the three of them, they spent their time together acting like a ….a family, she realized. There was no way for her to deny she was enjoying her summer job. She liked being with Katie and if she was completely honest, she really liked being together, the three of them.
Taking the thought one step further, she admitted to herself, she especially liked the evenings she spent with Darren after Katie went to bed. The two of them seemed to be drawn to the patio every evening when the weather permitted and to the kitchen table when it rained. She was pretty sure Darren felt the same way as he often arranged his schedule to make time for them and always suggested things for the three of them to do together.
Amanda’s mother showed up on time and Katie was out the door with her backpack and her new quilt for the sleepover. They’d just finished the binding a couple of days ago and Katie couldn’t wait to show it off to her friends. She was sure they’d want to learn how to make their own quilt as soon as they saw hers.
With the house quiet, Mandy decided to do some laundry and then read a book. She was sorting clothes when she heard the garage door open. Surprised, she went to the kitchen just in time to see Darren coming through the door. His eyes lit up when he saw her.
“Surprise! I came home early to take my girls out for supper,” he said looking around for Katie.
My girls, Mandy thought as she rubbed the back of her hand across her forehead, Oh, this was getting more and more complicated.
“Katie’s not here,” she explained crossly. “She’s gone to a movie and a sleepover at Amanda’s.”
“Okay,” he said hesitantly, “I have a better idea. How about the two of us going for a drive and I’ll teach you how to drive a stick shift.”
Mandy thought about saying no and telling him she needed a day off, but the words didn’t come. Instead she said yes and went to her room to freshen up. Her original plan was to put on a fresh blouse over her jeans, but somehow that changed into a blouse with a skirt….and some make-up and a pair of earrings. When she looked into the mirror, she paused at her reflection. She wasn’t looking at a nanny. She was looking at a young woman going on a long-anticipated…date.
Her courage almost left her as he called from downstairs, “Are you ready yet?”
Willing herself to move, she walked down the stairs carefully noting his eyes as he caught her approach. She knew he wasn’t seeing ‘the nanny’ either.
***
The two of them got into the SUV and headed into town. Darren pulled up next to an old beater in an empty parking lot. The owner of the vehicle was leaning against the hood grinning at them. He tossed a set of keys to Darren.
“Here you go, Boss,” the young man said, “one training vehicle per your order.”
Mandy looked at Darren, but he just shrugged.
“You didn’t think I was going to teach you how to drive a stick in my Rover, didja?”
The other guy laughed and went over to the curb to sit down in the shade. He pulled out a cell phone and pretended to be invisible.
Darren and Mandy got into the beater. She was relieved to see the inside was in much better condition than the outside.
“Have you ever had any lessons in driving a stick,” Darren asked.
Mandy shook her head.
“Well, here’s the thing. Driving a stick shift is like dancing with a car. You’ve got to know the right steps and you have to listen to the music.”
“What music,” Mandy asked with confusion in her voice.
“The music is the sound the engine makes when you’re in the right gear. When you’re in the wrong gear, it’s not musical at all. It sounds horrible and if your feet aren’t doing the right steps, you’re going to stumble along.”
Mandy looked at Darren like he was crazy. She tried to think about his words as she’d watched him driving the Rover. Suddenly, it came to her how his words applied to what she’d seen him doing.
He spent a few minutes showing her how the gear shift worked and then explained the foot pedals. She listened to his instructions carefully.
“Okay, let’s get the car started and I’ll teach you the sound of music,” he said with a grin.
Mandy was nervous, but Darren was so relaxed she couldn’t help feeling easier. She started the car and pushed in the clutch.
As he helped her to tune in to the car’s engine, she managed to get the car moving forward. Listening carefully to the gears, she shifted into second and popped the clutch in her excitement. The engine died and they lurched to a stop.
“That’s why we’re learning in this instead of that,” he said pointing back at the SUV. “It happens when you’re learning, so no worries, we’ll just start again.”
After a half an hour of starting, stopping and making several rounds of the parking lot, Mandy was confident she was now able to ‘dance with a car, truck or even the Rover’. She and Darren drove back to their starting point and returned the young man’s car. Mandy pretended not to notice when she saw Darren slip the guy some money. The guy’s face lit up and he hopped in his beater and drove off with a wave.
“Congratulations, Teacher! You’ve proved you can be taught,” Darren said. “I think we need to fit in a little more practice out on the real road. Think you’re up for that?”
Mandy grinned and nodded happily. She was flushed with her success and his nearness. She might not have had a day off in a month, but a day like this was worth a dozen day’s off. He tossed her the keys and climbed in the passenger side. Pretending to sit back and relax, Darren watched her climb into the driver’s seat.
“Where to, sir,” she asked with a confidant air.
“Just turn right out of the parking lot and head north. The rest of your instructions will come in good time.”
She nodded and got them on their way. He didn’t explain where they were going and she didn’t ask. It was good just to drive along quietly and enjoy the moment. Most drives, Katie filled the air with her happy chatter. The silence felt good for a change.
When he told her to turn onto a rough gravel road, she noticed the thick trees pressing up to the edges of the road. It was clear this road wasn’t used very much. There wasn’t even room for two cars to pass each other without brushing up against the heavy undergrowth. Noticing the scurry of rabbits and spruce hens back and forth across the road ahead of them, she was forced to slow down. Wrestling the Rover from side to side to avoid the potholes and wash-outs, the two of them were soon laughing.
“Where are we going,” Mandy finally broke down and asked. “
There’s barely enough road to drive on. This can’t be a good place for a beginner to drive a stick shift. If I mess up, we’ll crash into a tree.”
Darren laughed at her concern. “Trust me,” was all he said.
***
Another half an hour of bumping along brought them to a very large clearing. Mandy could see ominous signs warning trespassers of dire consequences, and piles of dirt and gravel flanked by rusty digging equipment. An old log cabin stood on one edge of the open area and Darren pulled up next to it. He stepped out of the truck and honked the horn several times and called out, “Hello” in a loud voice.
An answering call came from somewhere off to the left and Mandy was surprised to see a scraggly looking man with a long beard come walking out of the trees. He was wearing worn overalls over a tattered lumberjack shirt. Her eyes widened as she took in the large gun strapped to his side. She sat there frozen in her seat as he drew near to them.
Darren hurried over to greet the man and it was clear they were old friends. Waving to Mandy to get out, the two of them looked at her. Suddenly self-conscious about her ‘date’ attire and wishing she’d stayed in her jeans, Mandy got out.
“Clancy, this is Mandy, a friend of mine. Mandy, this is Clancy, an old friend and a real sourdough. This is his mine, The Dancing Dog. Clancy’s way out here digging for gold.”
Mandy’s eyes widened at the thought of digging for gold. It was something she’d read about in books, but had never actually ever met anyone doing that for a living. She looked around at the piles of dirt and wondered how someone found gold. The two men laughed at the look on her face.
Clancy was busy working on his loader and didn’t have time to show them around, but he told Darren to go ahead with his tour. Darren grabbed a couple of large dinner plates and headed down to the edge of a river. His friend had already disappeared back to wherever he’d come from in the trees.
Mandy was relieved she wasn’t wearing high heels as she followed him down to the water’s edge. He was scooping up some dirt with one of the plastic plates when she caught up to him. He added some water and started swirling the mud around in a circle. She watched his actions carefully.
When most of the water and dirt was gone from the plate, he came over next to her and tilted it from one side to the other in the sunlight.
“There…and here….here, too,” Darren pointed at the sparkles of sunlight in the dish. “That’s gold flake.”
“Really? You mean, you walked down here and found gold just like that, with a dinner plate?”
Darren laughed at her words and the look of excitement on her face. He could feel her warmth against his arm as she strained to see what he was pointing at in the dish.
“Yep,” he said. “That’s how easy it is to find gold in Alaska and this isn’t a dinner plate. This is a mining pan and the truth is, you’d probably starve to death before you found enough gold this way, but it’s fun.”
“Can I try,” she asked with a glint in her eye.
“Of course, but maybe you don’t want to get your skirt dirty,” he smirked.
She stuck her tongue out at him.
“I do all the laundry anyway. My skirt will wash.”
Mandy was jesting, but she noticed a shadow flicker across Darren’s eyes at her words. He turned away quickly to get the other pan.
***
Darren resumed the role of driver on their way home. They’d spent a couple of hours fishing for gold in the river before hunger drove them to give up their pursuit. The trip home was nearly as quiet as their ride to the river. Mandy stared out the side window watching the scenery pass by as her thoughts battled. Her feelings for Darren and Katie were overwhelming. She would be going home soon.
“I’m starving,” Darren groaned as they got back to civilization. “I really need to get something to eat.”
Mandy’s stomach agreed with him, much to her embarrassment. She was sure she could match him bite for bite in whatever he wanted to eat.
“I know this great place for bar-B-Q,” Darren said. “Outside of Texas, you won’t find better brisket anywhere. What do you say?”
Mandy looked down at her dusty blouse and skirt and tried to brush some of the dirt away.
“Never mind that. It’s pretty dark in there. No one will notice a little dust.”
Mandy gave him a nod and a grin.
***
The smell of roasting meat came to her nose before they’d even reached the restaurant. The parking lot was packed and the smokers were fired up. Her mouth was watering before the Rover was in a space. The two of them jumped out of the SUV and headed for the entrance. If she objected when Darren grabbed her hand as they crossed the road, she gave no sign of it. He let go when they reached the door so he could hold it open for her.
The waitress seated them and started to hand out menus.
“Nope. We don’t need those,” Darren said. “Just bring us two cowboy sundaes with brisket and a couple of root beers.”
Mandy looked surprised at his words, but the whole day was an exercise in trust, so she figured she might as well trust him on this too.
The waitress headed off with a grin and they took a look around the place. The band was just starting to play and the dance floor was filling up.
“Do you ever dance with women or are you reserved for your Rover,” she asked with a smile.
“I don’t really know how to dance,” Darren confessed weakly.
Grabbing his hand, Mandy pulled him out of his chair.
“Now it’s my turn to be the teacher,” she said. “It’s easy. Just listen to the music and follow my lead”
Jumping on the end of a line, she pushed, pulled and managed to get him through a line dance without hurting anyone. The two of them were laughing as they ran back to their table just in time to see their food coming.
“Saved by my sundae,” Darren crowed as he got ready to dig in.
He grabbed his fork, but Mandy beat him to the first bite of hers. He laughed when her eyes grew wide with wonder and delight.
“This is amazing! Yum! I’ve never….”
She shoved another bite in her mouth and rolled her eyes. Once again, he followed her lead.
***
Nearly all the way home, Mandy talked about her first cowboy sundae. Darren was happy to listen to her exercise nearly every adjective she knew. He was quiet as he realized how much it meant to him to see her happiness. He hadn’t thought of her as the summer nanny all day. My thoughts seemed to have gone in an entirely different direction without my permission, he thought.
They both grew quiet as they neared the house. Something had changed between them and neither one of them could explain it to themselves. They didn’t want to think about it too hard. It was clear the road ahead of them was lined with potholes and perils.
Darren pulled the Rover into the garage and without thinking, he shut the garage door. They both sat there for several minutes in silence. The two of them took their time getting out of the car. They were halfway to the kitchen door when the garage light suddenly went out leaving them in the dark.
Darren was walking behind Mandy. Surprised at the sudden darkness, she stopped. He bumped into her hard. On instinct, he reached out and grabbed both her arms from behind to keep her from toppling over.
Without thinking, he cradled her against him and pressed his face against the delicate curve of her neck. Inhaling the scent of her hair, he breathed in her very essence. Her warmth and softness fit against him and stirred a primal longing deep inside them both. He felt how much he needed her and sensed how much she wanted him. She settled into his embrace without resistance and the two of them stood there in the darkness.
The sudden buzz of his cell phone in his shirt pocket caused them both to jump. At the same time, the kitchen door was flung open to reveal Katie standing there. They couldn’t see the look on her face with the light behind her, but her stance was clearly upset. They moved apart guiltily.
“
WHERE WERE YOU?” Katie shouted. “I came home to an empty house! No one was here!”
Confused, Darren asked, “I thought you were at a sleepover. What are you doing home?”
“I wanted to come home,” Katie stormed as she turned away from the doorway. “I felt sick! I made Amanda’s mom drive me home and when I came in, you two were gone!”
The three of them made it into the kitchen as Katie punctuated her sentences by kicking the cabinets and slapping her hands down on the counter. Mandy watched her carefully. She wasn’t sure if Katie was putting on a show or if she was really this upset about coming home to an empty house. She’d never seen the child act this way. She also had to wonder what Katie had seen when she opened the door to the garage and found them together in the dark. That might be the real reason behind her tantrum.
“Why didn’t you call me to come and get you,” Darren asked. “How long have you been home?”
“I called you right as I came in the front door cause the house was dark,” Katie said.
“Katie, when my phone rang, we were in the garage. The house wasn’t empty. We just got home ourselves. You must have drove up just after I closed the garage door…”
Darren stopped trying to explain when Katie started to cry. He looked from her to Mandy helplessly. Mandy frowned, but she wasn’t sure how to handle this. After all, I'm just the nanny and a temporary one at that, she reminded herself.
Katie solved their problem by running out of the room. Listening to her pounding up the stairs, the two of them stood there in silence. Finally, Mandy decided she would have to be the one to see to Katie. Darren looked like he didn’t have a clue. She followed Katie upstairs and knocked on her door. There was no answer and the door was locked. Mandy thought it best to give her time to work things out. She’d talk to her in the morning. It has turned into a very long day, she thought as she headed to her own room.
Chapter 8
The next morning, Mandy woke up with a groan and a shudder. She’d had terrible dreams all night and didn’t feel ready to face anyone. Running over the events of the previous day in her mind brought a rush of mixed emotions. Clearly she was in error in not sitting down and setting out the parameters of this job from the beginning. There was no way to reset this mistake and do things the right way. It was also clear that she couldn’t just quit and run away from this mess. The damage to all of them would have far more impact than the effort of getting through the rest of the summer.
