by B. B. Hamel
“He doesn’t,” she says simply. “Come on. Let’s get this over with.”
I grumble as she climbs out of the car and heads inside. I glance back over my shoulder and spot the car that was following us. I nod at the driver and he nods back before turning around and circling the property.
After I calmed down Sydney and told her about my arrangement with her mother, I cleaned up the front walk, and then I made some calls. Despite what Julia wants, I decided to take matters into my own hands and hired a few guys to watch over us. Not all day and night, since I can’t afford that, but enough that I feel relatively secure. She doesn’t need to know about it, since I’m sure she wouldn’t be happy.
I follow Julia inside, hurrying to catch up. We march through the familiar empty halls and all their grandeur until I end up at the bedside of her father again.
He looks worse off than he did the first time I met him. His eyes seem less clear, a bit cloudier, though Julia says it’s because of his medication. It makes him tired around this time of day.
“Julia,” he says softly. “Nice of you to visit.”
“Hello, father.” She kisses his cheek.
“And Connor. The husband.” He smiles, a frail speck of a man. “The military man.” We shake hands and his grip is much weaker.
“Good to see you, sir.”
He smiles at me. “How are you acclimating to civilian life?”
I frown slightly but Julia nods at me, encouraging me to go on.
“Good, sir,” I say. “I did several tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. Did some things I can’t exactly talk about, but now I’m home. I like it here better.”
He laughs, a raspy cough of a thing. “Surely you miss the excitement.”
“Sometimes, sir,” I say. “But being married to your daughter is all the excitement I need or want these days.”
“Crap,” he mumbles. “Total crap. You, married to her? She’s never loved a day in her life.”
“That’s not true, father,” she says softly.
“True, what’s true? What’s it matter?” He looks at me, his eyes suddenly startlingly clear. “My son hates you. Hates the both of you. Why does Evan hate so much?”
I go to respond but his eyes slowly close. Julia looks at me and nods at the door. We walk back there slowly.
“No good,” she says.
“He seems worse.”
“Some days are like this, some are better. He doesn’t have much time left, either way.”
“We should visit more often.”
She looks slightly surprised. “Really?”
“Really,” I say. “He has this big house but it’s so empty. I mean, he’s in his last days. He should see his family.”
She smiles slightly. “You don’t know my father, Connor. If you did, you wouldn’t want to visit him.”
“Maybe,” I say. “But what’s it matter now? He’s a frail old man dying in a bed. Whatever he did, it doesn’t matter anymore.”
She watches me for a second, a curious look on her face. I don’t know why I’m sticking up for that man in there, but I just hate to see an old man dying alone. Even if he was a shitty father, he’s not an evil person. Just because we’re tricking him doesn’t mean we can’t show him a bit of kindness by seeing him as often as we can.
Julia smiles slightly and we stop in the foyer. She steps toward me, backing me into a corner. “Don’t get too close to my family,” she warns.
I raise an eyebrow. “What?”
“You heard me.” She speaks slowly and softly, forcing me to come closer to her. “I know the way you look at my daughter. Do you think I’m blind?”
I rear back, surprised, like she burned me. “What are you saying?”
“She’s nineteen. Twenty years younger than you. She could be your daughter, you know.”
I stare back at her and quickly get my shit together. “She’s not my daughter,” I say.
“Be careful,” Julia warns. “Don’t get too close. Don’t forget what you really are.”
“And what’s that?” I ask.
“A pretend husband and nothing more.” She turns and leaves the house, letting the door shut behind her.
I stand there for a second, taken aback and shaken slightly. I knew Julia had noticed the way I look at Sydney, but I didn’t know how she felt about it.
Now I do. She’s against it, unequivocal. There was serious menace in her eyes as she spoke to me just then, and although she doesn’t frighten me, the idea of her finding out about what I want with Sydney does.
She can’t do much to me, but she could send Sydney away. Or maybe she could do worse, I’m not sure, but I do know that I need to keep the fact that I told Sydney the truth away from her. I can’t let her get more suspicious and fuck all of this up.
And that’s for her sake as much as for my own. I want to keep Sydney around for my own selfish reasons, but I also need to stay around to keep them both safe. Julia isn’t prepared to handle her brother, won’t even take him seriously. I’m the only thing standing between them and serious danger, and Julia doesn’t even realize it.
I head back toward the car, getting some of my resolve back. Julia is already sitting in the passenger seat, waiting for me. I climb into the driver’s seat and smile at her like nothing happened before starting the engine and heading home.
The man I hired to follow us pulls in behind, keeping a close tail, helping to keep us safe.
12
Sydney
I feel like I’m still reeling from yesterday’s revelations as I walk down a sunny, secluded block in a part of the city I don’t often go to.
I don’t know how I’m going to keep this secret from my mother. I know I promised Connor that I would, but I just don’t know what I’m going to do. It’s too huge and there’s too much tension there between the two of us. Now that I know my mother isn’t in love with him, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’m not sure I can keep my hands off of him.
Which is part of why I’m out here walking down this block. I’m heading toward a company called Inner Learning. They specialize in tutoring underprivileged kids and they also give out scholarships based on performance. They’re hiring math tutors, and while I don’t have a higher degree, I did really well in math in school. I want to tutor younger kids, maybe sixth through eight grades, and I feel like I’m perfectly qualified. I want to drop my resume off in person, maybe that’ll help with the process.
My mind is still on Connor as I head into Inner Learning’s front office. It’s set back in a normal-looking building, and I wouldn’t even know it was there if I weren’t looking for it. They clearly don’t have a huge budget, but the place is clean and the receptionist seems friendly as I walk inside.
“Can I help you, honey?” the receptionist says.
“Sure, hi, I’m actually looking to apply for one of your open jobs.”
“Okay,” she says. “Great. Which one were you looking at?”
“There’s an opening for a math tutor, I think I saw that on your website.”
“Good,” she says smiling. “We need more female math tutors. Hold on, let me get you an application.”
She gets up and rummages in a drawer. A second later she gives me a packet and a pen and motions for me to fill it out in the waiting area. I go sit down and start to fill in the information.
I hate filling out these stupid applications. They’re always the same, and all of this information is in my resume, but it’s part of the game. Besides, Inner Learning is a really good company. We need more people and companies like this trying to help people better themselves. It’s amazing how much you’re given in life when you’re born a certain way, like I was.
I never had to worry where my next meal was coming from. I always had clothes, supplies, time and space. I also went to schools with really good funding, which gave me a leg up. I was given every single opportunity to succeed in this world, making it extremely easy for me to skate by and get into Harvard.
When I finish the application, I hand it back in and leave. I hope that showing my face in person helps, but who knows. I want to start giving back to people that need help, and I believe I can do that with Inner Learning.
Maybe I want to go into teaching in general, or maybe I want to work for a non-profit organization. My mind reels through the possibilities as I head back home to my comfortable house in my crime-free neighborhood. I don’t have to worry about a thing, which is almost a problem.
I feel good about my decision to apply there as I pull up in front of my house and park, even though I don’t know if I’ll get the job or not. I feel like it’s a step in the right direction at least.
I head up the front walkway and stop, surprised by a large package in front of the door. I’m not expecting anything and the box is pretty large. Maybe it’s something for Connor. I check the address but it doesn’t actually have a name down on it, just “the Hall Family.” I open the door and manage to get the box inside and into the kitchen.
I stare at it for a second then shrug and grab some scissors. It’s addressed to me too, after all. Plus, who doesn’t love cutting open a package? It’s like Christmas.
I slice through the tape and pull open the flaps. There’s some white packing foam at the top which I have to pull out before I can see what’s inside.
As soon as the foam is out of the way, I stare down into the box and my brain doesn’t quite make sense of what I’m seeing. I stare at it for a second before stumbling back, face completely white, a scream sitting in the base of my throat.
I grab my phone and dial without thinking. Connor answers on the second ring.
“Sydney?” he asks. “What’s up?”
“There’s a head in this box,” I say, feeling like I might puke.
He pauses. “What are you saying?”
“A box. There’s a head in it. Oh my god. It’s a real head.”
“Stay where you are. Don’t go outside. I’m on my way.”
He hangs up the phone and I nearly drop mine onto the floor as I stumble away from the box, fear and terror ringing through me.
It’s just like yesterday, but worse. The eyes are dead and blank as it stares up at me. I stumble away from it, heading outside and toward the pool. I need fresh air as I collapse into a pool chair, trying not to think about that thing in the kitchen.
I don’t now how much time passes, but soon I hear my name. I look up and Connor steps outside.
“Sydney,” he says. “Please, why are you outside?”
“I had to get out of there,” I mutter.
He nods. “Come on. Come inside.”
“Is it gone?”
He frowns and shakes his head. “I’ll take care of it. Just come inside.”
“Get rid of it first. Please.”
“Why would someone send you a deer head?” he asks.
“I don’t know,” I say. “I have no clue.”
He grunts and crosses his arms. “Just stay there, okay? Don’t move.”
He disappears back inside and I stare at the water, feeling numb. It was just a deer head, but it’s still death in a box. I could see the dried blood all at the bottom, pooled into a plastic wrapping that covered it. I get the chills all over again as I sit there.
Connor comes back out not long later holding something in his hand. He sits down at the foot of my chair and shows me a note, folded in half, with some dried blood on it.
“Do you recognize this handwriting?” he asks.
I take the note and open it. Scrawled in black sharpie are the words, “BACK DOWN OR DIE.”
“No,” I say, reading it again. “Not at all.”
“Your uncle’s, maybe?” he asks, prompting me.
I shake my head. “I don’t know, honestly.”
He sighs and takes the note back. “Someone mailed us a dead deer’s head with a death threat.”
“Why?” I ask.
He gives me a look. “You know why.”
“My uncle wouldn’t hurt me,” I say softly.
“How sure can you be?” He sighs, shaking his head. “I’m not trying to scare you, Syd. I know this is hard. But listen to me. I won’t let anything bad happen.”
“I know,” I say softly.
He leans toward me and for a second, I think he’s about to kiss me. I’m shocked at how badly I want him to do it. I want him to take me, pull me against him, kiss my lips hard and make me his.
I want him to control me, dominate me, keep me safe. I’ve never experienced this feeling for a man before in my whole life and yet it’s so intense I can barely stand it.
I need to feel what his hard body feels like against mine. I’m suddenly dripping wet and ringing with excitement, my whole body lit on fire for him. But instead of kissing me, he brushes a piece of hair from my eyes and smiles at me.
“It’ll be fine,” he says. “I got rid of the head. Come back inside, okay?”
“Yeah,” I say. “Okay.”
“I’ll hang around the house today until your mom gets home.”
We stand and I follow him back inside. The box with the head is gone, but I can’t really think about that. All I can imagine is Connor bending me over, fucking my pussy, slapping my ass.
It’s too much to handle. “I’ll be upstairs,” I say quickly.
“Alright.” He puts the note on the kitchen counter. “Yell if you need anything.”
“Sure.” I hurry out of the room before I can do something to embarrass myself.
I don’t know what I’m thinking. I call Connor right away to come save me, and when he does, all I want to do is throw myself at him. That’s the stupidest thing I could do, since I’m supposed to be pretending that he’s my stepfather. But there’s nothing nice and clean about our relationship and we both know it.
Truth is, I want it to get dirtier, darker, grittier. I want so much more. Which is why I have to hide away from him for the rest of the day, afraid of what I might do if I stay around him.
13
Connor
Julia comes home around ten that night, looking more exhausted than usual. She’s been working later and later nights, which she insists is normal, but I can’t tell.
I’ve only been living in this house for a short time, and I’m more aware of that every day. I need more information on how everything works, but I can’t seem to get a straight answer from Julia. I don’t understand her at all.
She brought me into this thing because she knows her brother is dangerous. It’s not like I forced her to choose me. And yet every time I push for more security, more serious measures, she just laughs it off like nothing’s wrong.
Something else has to be going on to make her not care about any of this. Actually I do think she cares, but she’s pretending like she doesn’t. Maybe she has a reason to put on a brave face and to keep soldiering on. She certainly isn’t going to share her ideas with me.
I meet her in the kitchen. She opens a bottle of wine and pours herself a glass before pouring me a whisky. She puts it down in front of me with a sigh.
“You look tired,” I say.
“Thanks. You look good yourself.”
I grin at her. “Men have it easier.”
“Probably.” She sips her drink. “You want to talk about the package, don’t you?”
I nod, keeping my face straight. I called her earlier after disposing of the thing, but she didn’t have time to talk, or at least what’s what she said.
“We need to start getting serious.”
“So you’ve been saying.”
“Julia.” I sip my drink and stare at her, hoping she can understand me. “Whoever’s doing this is unhinged. And I think it’s your brother.”
“He’s just trying to scare us,” she says.
She sighs and absently pulls at her hair. It’s a nervous gesture I’ve seen her do when stressed.
“What do you propose?” she asks.
“Let me hire some guys. They’ll watch at a discreet distance, but they’ll be nearby and ready to intervene if something happens.”
“No,” she says, shaking her head. “I can’t have strange men hanging around my house.”
“Julia, please. You won’t notice them.”
“I said no.” She looks at me seriously. “This is your job, Connor.”
“I can’t do it alone,” I say. “I have my own work.”
“Then quit,” she says simply.
I blink at her. “That wasn’t part of the deal.”
“Make it part of the deal. Quit your current job. I’ll pay your normal fee.”
“Why not pay someone else?”
“Because it’s not what I want to do.” I can see the stress is beginning to fray her normal calm exterior.
I sigh and shake my head. “I’ll have to think about it.”
“Fine, think about it.” She pauses then smiles slightly at me. “At least we know where the blood came from.”
I cock my head at her. “What?”
“The blood on the door. It’s from dead deer. Evan always liked to hunt.”
I groan as she turns and leaves the kitchen, heading upstairs with her glass of wine.
It makes sense. He probably killed a few deer, bled them dry, and then used that blood to vandalize our door. Well, he probably didn’t do it himself, but the point stands. I don’t like this whole idea of him being a hunter, but that shouldn’t matter in the long run.
Now I have to decide if I want to come stay here full time. Truthfully, it sounds boring as hell, and I don’t want to back out of my current commitment. I know I can get someone to cover for my current job and finish it up, but still, I hate leaving something unfinished.
On the other hand, I’ll get to be home all day long with Sydney. As fucked up as that thought may be, it is still very appealing. Despite trying to actively resist my desire for her, I still find myself daydreaming about her smooth skin under my fingers.
