Lwaxana shrugged and, for just a moment, her eyes grew distant. Then, like water crashing through a broken dam, a flood of emotions crashed into Deanna’s head, a maelstrom of anger and joy and jealousy and rage and everything in between. Deanna reeled as the last of Lwaxana’s supporting power was pulled away from her.
She grabbed her head and, closing her eyes, concentrated as she’d never concentrated before. This was the crucial test: if she couldn’t regain control of her shields here, in front of her mother, she’d never do it. She could feel Lwaxana watching her and, after a moment of struggling, her thoughts cleared. She drew in a shuddering breath.
“Good,” Lwaxana admitted. “Not great, but good. You need practice.”
“I’ve been practicing,” Deanna said with effort. A pounding headache throbbed at her temples, but she was determined to hide it.
You can’t hide anything from me, Little One, you know that, Lwaxana said telepathically. You might as well admit the truth.
“That’s it!” Deanna stood up and jabbed a finger at the door. “Please leave!”
“What? Deanna, how dare you—”
“Leave, Mother! I’m going to grow up whether you want me to or not. I’m going to succeed here at the Academy, and I’m going to show you that I don’t need your help or anybody else’s anymore. Now, please, I have studying to do.”
Slowly, with great dignity, Lwaxana rose from her chair. “Mr. Xelo,” she said, “you may clean up.”
In a flurry of motion, Xelo cleared off the study table and loaded everything back onto the antigray cart. Deanna watched as he hastened out the door.
We’ll continue this discussion later, Little One, Lwaxana said telepathically, and followed him out.
Deanna managed to control herself for thirty seconds before she did something unfortunate—she threw a data pack at the wall.
It broke.
CHAPTER
7
Cargo Freighter BOROCCO-KAI
Alpha Quadrant, Sector C
The ventilation grille broke free of the bulkhead and crashed to the cargo bay floor. Deanna jumped back in surprise, and judging by the scuffling sounds in the darkness around her, her away team members did the same. She felt new emotions in the cargo bay now—terror, determination, and a desperate defiance.
“Get back!” ordered a man’s voice. It was edged with hysteria. “I’ve got a phaser!”
Deanna felt her comrades gather themselves, ready to fight. “It’s all right,” she said quickly but calmly. “Everybody just relax. Our new friend isn’t Orion.” Indeed, though she couldn’t see him, Deanna sensed the unmistakable human quality of his emotions.
“Who are you?” Vandin demanded of the unseen newcomer.
“I’ve got a phaser!” the voice repeated frantically. “I’ll use it!”
Deanna grabbed Vandin’s arm and squeezed, hoping he’d get the message to keep quiet. “Yes, you have a phaser,” she said slowly to their newcomer. “But you don’t want to use it on us. We’re Starfleet officers, here to help you.”
“You’re … Starfleet?”
“Yes. We’ll show you. We’ll move into the light.”
Deanna headed back into the hazy light from the overhead glow strip, and the others followed. “See our uniforms?” Deanna called out. “You can come out now.”
Something shifted and scraped in the shadows, and then a figure limped into view. “My leg,” the man groaned. “It’s cut pretty bad.”
Tronnald rushed forward. “I’m a medic. Allow me to help.”
As Tronnald went to work, Deanna studied the newcomer. He was a middle-aged human dressed in a filthy, torn work tunic. Clearly he’d fought against the Orions; his face and arms were covered with cuts and bruises, and his left thigh was bleeding from a knife wound. Tronnald gently probed the cut. “Ouch!” The man waved his phaser around as he squirmed in pain.
“Please!” cried Auburn, dodging the wild aim. “Put down your weapon!”
The man obeyed. “There’s nothing to worry about. This phaser is empty. I used up the energy cell hours ago.”
Vandin scooped the phaser up. “You were bluffing?” He grinned. “Excellent! We fell for it!”
“That’s not something I’d brag about,” Deanna said.
Pocketing the phaser, Vandin gave his reply as if explaining a simple principle that even an infant could understand. “All it takes, my gorgeous princess, is attitude. If you’ve got that, a bluff can be your best weapon.”
“Unless your opponent has equal attitude,” countered Renny, “in which case your opponent calls your bluff and you, my friend, are hash.”
Deanna regarded Renny with surprise. He had come to her aid, siding with her against Vandin. Curious.
Tronnald cut any more bickering short. “I need some cloth, enough to pad and bandage this wound.”
Without a moment’s hesitation, Auburn ripped off one sleeve of her uniform, then the other, biting some of the stubborn threads loose with her sharp teeth. “I confess a dislike of long sleeves,” she stated in her matter-of-fact way. “They restrict movement.”
“Perfect!” Tronnald said, taking the severed sleeves.
The stranger nodded at Auburn. “Thank you, uh…”
“Ensign Twil d-ch-Ka,” Auburn offered. She then introduced the others.
“I’m Bodrik Denburgh, ship’s engineer.”
“What were you doing in the ventilation shaft?” asked Deanna.
“Hiding, what do you think?” Denburgh shook his head, anguished. “As far as I know, I’m the only one they haven’t captured yet.”
“You are the first civilian we have seen,” Auburn told him. “Status of your shipmates?”
Denburgh shuddered, and Deanna was hit by a fresh wave of fear. “I don’t know. I saw … they…” He couldn’t go on.
Deanna barely fortified her mental shields in time to protect herself as Denburgh’s mind overflowed with emotion. Poor man, she thought. He has nothing to protect himself from the power of his own memories. She knelt down next to him. “It’s all right,” she said, taking his hand in hers. “You’re safe now. Just tell us where your shipmates are.”
“Some are dead,” Denburgh finally said, “but their bodies are gone. The Orions probably … probably threw them out the airlock.” If he noticed Deanna shudder, he didn’t acknowledge it. “All the rest were rounded up and locked in a cargo pod.” Denburgh looked in desperation first at Auburn, then at Deanna.
“Is it true? Do Orions sell people as slaves?”
“Do not worry,” Auburn said, investing her voice with as much authority as she could. It worked. Denburgh calmed down as if he’d been commanded to do so by a superior officer. “We are alive, and we will do all possible to aid your shipmates.”
“You’re too late,” the engineer moaned. “The Orions have already taken the Borocco-Kai out of the system. We lost contact with the Chippewa long ago.”
A horrible thought occurred to Deanna, and Tronnald’s emotions told her that he was thinking the same thing. The Zakdorn gave voice to it first: “Do you think the Chippewa fought the Orions … and lost?”
Auburn squared her shoulders. “We will proceed as if the Chippewa is delayed only. Our orders are clear: save the civilians. Save the ship, if possible.” With a nod to Denburgh, she continued, “We have now a route of escape from this prison.”
“Wait, I took that route to get in here,” Denburgh said. “I just want to hide in a dark corner, and if you’re smart, you’ll do the same. If we start running around out there, they’ll hunt us down.”
“Not me, chum,” said Vandin. “I’m the one who’s going hunting.”
“And we have orders to obey.” Auburn gestured the others to their feet. “We will attack.”
“Whoa!” said Renny. “Ten minutes ago you argued against attack.”
“Ten minutes ago we were trapped,” Deanna reminded him, “and ten minutes ago we didn’t have a ship’s engineer to help us.”
“Deanna is correct,” said Auburn before Denburgh could protest further. “We must move with speed.”
Vandin faced Auburn, grinning. “Now you’re talkin’, sir!”
“Auburn grinned back at him. “See you now that I fear not to fight?” she said, her bubbly voice filled with anticipation. “I merely avoid confrontation until I have a good chance to win.”
CHAPTER
8
Starfleet Academy
Earth
This meeting wasn’t going to be like the first one. This would be more like a battle—a battle she had to win.
Deanna stepped into Thaddeus Gold’s office and stood at attention. The counselor, sitting behind his desk, finally looked up from the padd he’d been reading. “Cadet Troi,” he greeted her. “As you were. What can I do for you?”
Deanna relaxed her stance, nervously clearing her throat. “First of all, sir, I would like to thank you for seeing me without an appointment.”
“Your request sounded … important.”
Deanna nodded. “Yes, sir. To me it is.” Just spit it out, Deanna! “Sir, I’d like to sign up to take the Borocco-Kai simulation.”
Lieutenant Commander Gold was far too professional to do a bug-eyed double take at Deanna’s announcement. Yet something in the way he blinked had almost the same effect. “Really?”
“Yes, sir.”
Gold seemed to weigh several factors in his mind.
Then he said, “You do have the right to take the test at any time during your freshman year, though most cadets choose to do so at the end of their second semester. They want to learn all they can from their classes, in case the knowledge and skills gained are necessary during the simulation.”
“I am aware of that, sir.”
“Are you also aware that if you fail, you will be dismissed from the Academy?”
“Yes, sir, I am.”
Gold nodded. “Then tell me—why are you so eager to put yourself on the line?”
Deanna had the answer ready. She’d practiced every possible version of this meeting in her mind for the past hour, knowing that this one question would be unavoidable. “I thought about what you said during our last meeting, sir. You were right, of course; I do have some hard decisions to make. Well, I’ve made some of them. Until now I’ve been letting certain … aspects of my life intimidate me. Instead of protecting myself by building up my own mental shields, I’ve been blaming other beings for having emotions. Instead of controlling my empathic abilities and reaching out to others in friendship, I’ve been holding back and then feeling angry that others aren’t reaching out to me.” Deanna shrugged. “Simple mistakes, sir, but they were revelations to me.”
Gold gave her a little smile. “Cadet, there is nothing simple about personal relationships. In fact, the simplest social skills are often the hardest to master because everyone assumes they should come naturally. Nobody’s born with the automatic ability to get along with others, however. It’s a learned skill. Unfortunately, not everyone learns it.” His smile faded, and he leaned back in his chair. “About the Borocco-Kai test, however—”
“It’s the solution to my final problem, sir,” Deanna stated.
“Final problem?”
He already knows, Deanna reminded herself. He must know. He’s just making you say it yourself. “My ability to make decisions, sir. I have recently learned that some decisions, even when made, carry no weight if they’re not accepted by others.”
“That’s called lack of authority,” Gold offered.
“Exactly,” agreed Deanna. “Without authority, people can make all the decisions they want, but it won’t do them any good.”
Deanna paused, anguished. I can’t do it. I can’t complain to him about my own mother. I just can’t talk about her behind her back, no matter what the circumstances. There must be another way! But no other way came to mind.
Gold waited as if he knew exactly what kind of war was going on in Deanna’s head. When she didn’t speak, he said, “Authority comes with experience, doesn’t it?”
The question came out of nowhere. “Yes, sir,” Deanna answered, wondering.
But Gold said no more. He just folded his arms and looked at her, his expression neutral.
And then Deanna understood. He’s giving me an opening.
“Experience is the key,” she began, groping for the right words. “For instance, I made the decision to come to the Academy, but I’m not moving forward, as you pointed out before. I need to gain authority in order to back up my own decisions. I need to prove to”—be honest, Deanna!—“to myself most of all that my decision to come here was the right decision.” She tried not to plead, but she couldn’t help it.
“Sir, let me take the Borocco-Kai test. If I’m meant to be here, I’ll pass. And I know that when I do, everything else will fall into place.”
Gold scratched the lobe of one ear in a contemplative gesture. “An all-or-nothing plunge, hm? You know that you can’t take the test alone. You’ll need a team of at least two other cadets, preferably three.
I don’t think you’re going to find many freshmen willing to jeopardize their careers this early.”
“I’ll find them somehow, sir.”
Gold gave her a wry look. “Yes, I bet you will.”
He stood up. “Very well. Cadet Troi, I grant you permission to sign up for the test.”
Deanna couldn’t hold back her relief. “Thank you, sir.
“Don’t thank me,” Gold warned. “I think this is foolish of you, and I want you to tell any cadets who consider teaming up with you to talk with me first. This isn’t your gamble alone.”
Deanna thought the meeting was over, but Gold walked her to the door.
“I wouldn’t give such permission to just anyone, Cadet—understand that. But I’m well aware of your situation.” He paused, choosing his words carefully. “You see, when your mother came to campus, I made it my business to meet her. She is a most beautiful, charming, and extraordinarily strong-willed woman.”
Deanna felt several emotions flit by—respect, amusement, irritation, admiration—Gold’s emotions toward her mother. She tried not to grin. “Yes, sir. That she is.”
Gold opened the door. “The rules for the test are available through your computer uplink, Cadet. Read them carefully and be ready to report to Training Holosuite Four in three days.”
“Yes, sir!”
“I plan to take the Borocco-Kai simulation test in three days,” Deanna announced to her study group that night.
She’d walked into the Sudak Hall study area well prepared to say those words. And though it was the exact opposite of what she’d been trying to do for the past three weeks, now she kept her mental shields down and her mind wide open. Deanna wanted to sense every emotion from the cadets in her group.
Auburn, Renny, Vandin, and Tronnald were seated at a round table with their noses buried in class materials. At Deanna’s announcement, their heads jerked up and their response came in perfect unison: “What?”
“You heard me. I’m going to take the Big Washout.”
“But … why?” Tronnald asked, mystified. “You don’t have to take it—”
“Until second semester, I know. I have my reasons. And I have a reason for telling all of you.” Deanna paused. “I can’t take it alone. I need a team.”
Nobody spoke. Then Auburn’s face broke into a wide grin, matching the excitement that Deanna sensed welling up inside her. “Yes! It will make Academy history! To pass the Borocco-Kai so early would put distinctions on my permanent record. I wish such a distinction!”
“You’re bugnuts,” Renny declared uneasily. “This particular distinction is only good if you pass the test. What if you flunk?”
Auburn turned her large ocean-blue eyes on Renny. “I will not flunk.”
“The test isn’t called the Big Washout for nothing,” said Tronnald.
Vandin got up from his c
hair and draped a chummy arm around Deanna’s shoulders. “Well, I’d never let you go alone, my pet. I shall come to protect you!”
If Vandin hadn’t been serious he would have been hilarious. As it was, Deanna wanted to slug him. “Your sexist gallantry is several centuries out of date, Mr. Sidk, and besides, your pet doesn’t need a protector.” She stepped out from under his arm. “However, if you can behave yourself, I’ll consider you for the team.”
“My team,” Vandin corrected. “You ladies need a leader.”
“Oh, come off it, Sidk,” Renny said in disbelief. “You don’t even know what the test scenario will be.”
“Doesn’t matter. I’m best qualified to lead.”
“Excuse me,” Deanna broke in, “but deciding who will lead is not a priority.” The fact was, she didn’t want Vandin involved at all, but she couldn’t be choosy. She needed him. Renny didn’t seem a likely candidate, and Tronnald was shivering at the very idea of the Borocco-Kai.
“You know, the queen of my hearts is correct,” Vandin agreed. “Leading isn’t the issue here—that’s already settled. The issue now is teamwork.” He gazed from one face to another. “We’re all exceptional students, aren’t we? We all have high goals, don’t we? Why don’t we turn the Academy upside down together?”
Tronnald’s response was immediate and emphatic: “No!”
“Oh, be quiet, you’re coming,” Vandin told him flatly.
“But what if we—” Renny began.
“We won’t,” Auburn assured him.
Deanna could hardly believe it. Even if Renny and Tronnald backed out, she could take the test with Auburn and Vandin. And something in the way Tronnald fidgeted and in the way Renny glowered told her that they were fighting their own fear more than anything else. Perhaps they would change their minds. She could already sense their growing interest. I’ve got a team! Deanna thought gleefully. I’ve won half the battle already!
Star Trek: The Next Generation: Starfleet Academy #12: Breakaway Page 5
