by Arow Jones
“Lily, what did you eat earlier?”
“What?”
“Turkey? I smell turkey on your breathe. And it’s chicken, by the way. I did not call you chicken.”
“Oh my god!” Like a bat out of hell she runs out of the kitchen with her hand over her mouth. I didn’t mean to embarrass her about her breathe. I needed something to distract me from taking that bottom lip into my mouth. I can hear her footstep running around, doors opening, closing, water running, and shuffling around. She’s probably taking a shower and putting some clothes on. Too bad. I like half-naked Lily.
I might as well make myself at home. We didn’t really talk about dinner other than dessert. Dessert. I lick my lips and go for the fridge. Maybe I can surprise by starting dinner. The first thing I notice is a plated sandwich with the word “Kenny” and a smiley face written on the plastic cellophane. Who the hell is Kenny? Is she seeing someone I don’t know about? She’s mine. What the hell? I reach past it and grab the chicken and salad fixings. This dinner was supposed to be an extension of ‘the talk’ we still haven’t had but turned into friends having dinner. Are we friends? I need to clarify what’s going on between us before we go any further.
By the time she comes back down I’ve got the chicken cooking, salad made, and the table set. She’s changed into a pair of tight jeans and a flimsy spaghetti strap looking top. Her feet are bare and hair is wet but braided down her back. “Smells good! Need any help?”
“Nope. All taken care of. Wine?” I look back at her and see her discomfort. I’m being a dick to her. I don’t understand how she can cozy up with me when she’s got another man. “How about a beer? I’ll just grab one and meet you at the table.”
“Okay.” Damn it, I can see the confusion and hurt in her eyes. I shake my head, grab drinks and meet her at the table. The silence last through dinner. I’m normally comfortable in silence. It’s a trait Lily and I both share but the silence is now thicker than fog, blinding us. Or maybe we’re just too stubborn. She’s not like other girls who start talking about nothing and everything to get through the feeling uncomfortable. Lily’s worse. She has one of the best poker faces I’ve seen, a family trait.
My plate is empty before hers. I must have inhaled my food because she’s barely touched hers. I know I’m acting like a caveman but I have to protect what’s mine. How do I explain that to her? I just want to pick her up and throw her over my shoulder. I want to beat my chest and roar at anyone who gets near her. I need to get a hold of myself.
There is no us right now. At least not for her. I need to make things right before she find out the wrong way. There isn’t anything more important to me than keeping her safe and secure. If Nick gets to her first, she might not ever forgive me.
After she sets her fork down I reach over and grab her hand. “I’m sorry Sugar.” I didn’t mean to be so short. I’m just confused.” She looks at me and visibly sighs.
“It’s okay. I’m sure you have a lot on your mind.”
“It’s not okay.” I ignore my urge to remove my hand. Maybe if I hold on to her she will want to hold on to me too. Her eyes flit to our hands and smiles.
“Well, what’s wrong? You can tell me.”
“Who’s Kenny?” It came out more forceful than I intended. She recoils and slips her hand out of my hold. My chest constricts. I can’t hide the hurt in my face.
“Kenny? Okay. Kenny is a friend who went to the same high school as Skye and I. We didn’t really talk much but got reacquainted in college. We partied together, rode together, and pretty much hung out all the time.” The smile on her face has me worried. Does she have strong feelings for Kenny?
My jaw twitches at the thought of Kenny spending time with my Lily. “Is Kenny staying here? Is that why there’s a black GT in the driveway?”
“Yes” Her brow furrows like I’ve said something ridiculous. Can she be so naïve? “We have an arrangement. Kenny is helping out at the farm this summer before heading back to CU to finish college. I needed a barn manager and a trainer while I sort out the business end of things. Plus, I enjoy the company.”
“What does Kenny get out of this?” Arrangement? What the fuck? Please tell me this is not the kind of arrangement that is running through my mind because right now I want to punch my hand through this table. “I’m assuming Kenny is staying in the barn apartment? Sleeps in the barn?”
“No? Kenny sleeps with me.” Mother fucker! I get up, grab our dishes and put them in the sink. I’ve never been one to let my anger get the best of me but right now I’m hanging on by a thread.
“Listen, I’m not feeling like desert and I’ve got some work to catch up on. I’ll call you later. Okay?” I don’t wait for her to answer. My mind is reeling. This whole time we’ve been flirting and spending time together and she’s been sleeping with Kenny?! Mother fucking Kenny!
As much as I want to, I don’t slam the door when I leave. Sweet Lily is not as naïve and inexperienced as I fantasized. She’s cunning with her poker face and innocent act. Why did I think she would be different? She probably already knows about what we need to talk about and has been leading me on this whole time.
I stalk back to the Double Diamond. By the time I get there my temper has cooled a bit. I mean just a bit but I’m thinking more rationally. Lily and I. We still need to talk. Kenny is a complication we’re just going to have to deal with. My office light is on when I get inside. I can see Chase sitting at the desk working on his laptop and sifting through some papers. Chase will know what to do. He’s good at dealing with ‘problem’ individuals. He looks up. “Hey.”
Eleven
I laid awake last night thinking about my conversation with JT. By the time my brain decided to shut off the sun was already up. The food was so good last night but I barely ate my fill. My stomach growls remembering how empty I feel. I throw off my covers and walk into the bathroom for my morning ritual. Things turned sour last night. Maybe during my shower he decided I wasn’t worth the effort. Then he brought up Kenny.
I don’t understand what he has against having my friend stay with me. This summer is going to be the hardest one yet. I’m all alone. No one left in my family. Can’t he understand how important my friends are to me, especially now? Does he think I’m giving Kenny free room and board? Sure, Kenny doesn’t have to go back home and deal with a temperamental family. Yes, the training experience is a plus. With the extra help and companionship I feel like I am getting the better end of the deal.
He’s so confusing!
When I get to the top of the stairs I can smell coffee. Kenny must be awake. How do I explain JT’s strange behavior? I thought he liked me until he acted like I couldn’t have Kenny. If he can’t act like a grown up about my situation then I’m just going to have to keep the two of them apart. I need Kenny. I need my friend.
I go straight to the cupboard for a mug but there is already one on the counter where Kenny is pouring me a fresh cup of coffee. “Mmm, you’re a life saver.” I throw my arms around my friend in a bear hug. Kenny stiffens at first but immediately melts against me.
“Careful! You almost made me spill your coffee!” Kenny laughs. “Rough night?” My friend hands me the coffee. I am instantly awake. The smile on Kenny’s face tells me “I know who you were with last night!” I don’t have the heart to explain JT’s strange behavior about our arrangement.
“Don’t look at me like that.” I try to scowl but the corners of my lips betray me. “Yes, I was with JT last night. You already knew that. No, nothing happened. We’re just friends.” Now Kenny looks serious. I know that look too.
“I just want you to be careful. You have so much on your plate right now. The last thing you need is a broken heart.”
“Ken, my heart is already broken.” I think of Gramps and my parents. “There isn’t anything left to break.” I hope.
“Okay, well, when do I get to meet this JT character?” Kenny’s nose wrinkles. I laugh and we bump hips. We always seem to know what
one another is thinking it’s like our little trio can read one another’s minds. The only thing that would make my summer better would be Skye but she isn’t going to be around as much with her photography work picking up.
“I’m not sure, maybe on Friday? Thursday is poker night. I want to keep that tradition but Friday has always been our party night. How about we go to Jack’s? Kip is dying to meet you. Dinner and dancing? Please?” Skye was always the one to spur us on to parties. She is the dutiful social butterfly and inevitably flits about the party. So, Kenny always came along as my drinking buddy.
I can see the hesitation. Being back home isn’t easy for any of us. We all seem to have our dreads in some form. Kenny’s is a family that is large and in charge. As the youngest of the Thomas clan, and the only member to not take up the wrench, Kenny’s brothers are incredibly protective and overbearing. The eldest brother took on the reigns of Thomas Motors when their father died. He encouraged Kenny’s natural ability with horses and yet still pushes his desire to keep his family close, working with him.
“Um, yeah, okay. My brothers know I’m here so it won’t be any surprise if they see me.”
“Yay! In the mean time we have a lot of work to do until then!” I take one last sip of my coffee before getting a warm up and grabbing a banana. “Meet you at the barn?”
“Yup.” The smile on Kenny’s face looks forced. Working with horses is therapeutic. Whenever I get down or need some time to think you will find me on the back of a horse or in the barn doing manual labor. Barn therapy. It can be the worst job but the best therapy. Looks like we’re both putting in some extra therapy today. No matter what horse I’m working with I always take time to be with Five. She’s a reprieve. My equine soul mate.
By the end of the day, my muscles are ache. I smell and I’m drenched in sweat. The work out is a good feeling but I’m more than ready for a shower. When I get inside the house I check my phone for messages. I’ve had all of the office call forwarding to my cell phone making me reachable wherever I am. Of course, that requires me to keep my cell phone with me at all times. I had it with me during the first half of the day but I had forgotten to plug it into the charger last night. When I came in for a quick lunch I left it on the charger.
There are a few texts from Skye. A message from Kip and an unknown number. No text messages or calls from JT. Hmm. A few days apart won’t hurt. We’re both busy with work. I think he told me something about working from his home office and taking over The Double Diamond as his own. Instead of dwelling on not hearing from JT I check my messages. Kip wants to know if Poker Night is still on. Of course it is! I reply via text. I know he’ll get my text, even if he doesn’t reply.
I check the second message. The voice of the caller sounds familiar. When he says his name he confirms his identity. “Ms. James, this is Nicholas Parker, of Tanner & Tanner. I have an urgent matter to discuss with you, in person. Please call me immediately…” I write down the phone number. I thought JT was going to talk to me about this? My throat is dry and my eyes burn with unshed tears. I know this discussion is in regards to the James Estate. Suck it up, Lil’. I sigh and decide to call him back. At least I can schedule for us to meet. I’ll be better prepared. In control of my emotions.
After two rings Nick picks up. “Nicholas Parker.” His voice is formal, almost curt.
“Hi, Mr. Parker. This is Lily James returning your call.”
“Oh, yes.” Suddenly his voice turns sweet, sickly sweet. “I’m sorry about the yesterday. A pretty little thing like you shouldn’t be all alone. One an empty road. With no man to help you out.”
“I’m sure I would have been fine.” No man? This is the twenty first century!
“Sure, darlin’. Listen, you got some free time to discuss The Lucky Five? How about tomorrow evening? I can come by your place.”
“Yes. I guess we better get this over with.” I don’t really want to be alone with him, especially how Chase reacted towards him. Something tells me Nick is a rattler in disguise. “How about at the diner?”
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea. Being that this is a sensitive nature and all.” We spoke yesterday. I must have missed his drawl. He’s laying it on thick. “Besides, I don’t know how long this will take and I want you to have all the time you need.”
“Okay, what time?”
“Six o’clock. You have a nice day, darlin’.” He disconnects before giving me a chance to argue. I look at the clock and realize it’s already six pm. I have twenty four hours to prepare for this meeting. Hopefully, it’s just a formality to discuss the Estate and provisions entailing The Lucky Five.
Kenny walks in, looking as disheveled as I am. We decide on chicken salads for dinner. Sitting with Kenny brings back the memory of last night. JT left without trying to let me explain. It’s not like we’re dating or anything but I can’t help but feel like I owe him an explanation. He’s the one who should apologize for his rude behavior. I don’t think I’m going to be able to let this go.
After dinner I made a decision. I’m going to confront him on this. It’s my ranch. I’ll do what I damn well thinks is best. It’s not his place to fight me on this. My coat and boots are on. I let Kenny know I’m going for a walk then checking on the horses before returning.
It’s so clear tonight. I can smell a mixture of fresh hay, grass, earthy smells. Looking at the stars I’m reminded of the lion cartoon movie. Gramps used to say our fates can be read in the stars. Each twinkling bulb is placed in that exact spot for a reason, hanging out with the other stars. Every once in a while they look like they’ve moved but it’s the earth beneath us that moves. It’s our circumstances that change.
I once asked him if he thought my parent’s fatal accident was fate. Were they supposed to be on the exact highway at the exact time the drunk tractor trailer ran them off the road? He said he didn’t know but how could my parents fate not be aligned? They were perfect for one another. A perfect alignment that shined like the stars. He said my alignment was close too and that I should keep my eyes open and let my heart guide me.
I laugh at myself. Even though a tear spills down my cheek I’m smiling. I’m pretty sure I cracked a joke at that point in our conversation to which he probably told a joke himself. That was how we were. Many moments of fun and laughter with a few moments of meaningful advice.
The moon lights the path towards JT. It’s like a beacon directing my way. My steps are slow and steady but my heart is beating rapidly. In the distance I see a dark figure headed my way. It’s him.
Twelve
I woke up this morning and went for a ride on my motorcycle. My head needs to be clear when I confront Lily about the Lucky Five and Kenny. Kenny.
I don’t want to picture his hands on her. On my girl. The only girl. Did she go pliant in his arms the way she did with me? Does he make her heart flutter? Does she press her hands on his hot skin and kiss him like he’s a fine gourmet meal? Fuck.
If this is who she wants then I’ll respect her choice but I don’t have to like where it’s headed. Ever since my dad’s confession to me at sixteen I’ve only thought of a future with Lily. She feels all alone now. She has her friends and Kip. More importantly, she has me. She just doesn’t realize it yet.
Until Gramps died, I was in denial. I dated other women, had one night stands. I was popular in high school. Attending an out of state private school meant little to no supervision. My parents trusted me not to get into too much trouble but I still partied. College was filled with women wanting to get with me. Being a football player provides you with endless girls and parties. I knew, once I graduated, that I would return home for good. In the meantime, I was going to party and make the most of being away from home.
Chase said he ran into Nick yesterday. That sleazy bastard has been trying to win my dad over for a while now. Blanche’s dad is one of the partners but the third is Samantha’s mom. She’s not a pushover but I’m surprised she’d let Nick anywhere near her daughter
, let alone marry her.
I don’t want Lily to hear the news from Nick. Even though he’s been assigned the task I want her to hear it from me. The sooner the better.
After my ride I return to the ranch. I had intended to head over to Lily’s but there was an emergency with one of my local clients. I spent the rest of the day buried in paperwork. It’s dark out when I get home. The first thing I do is think of Lily. I wonder what she’s doing right now. I want to talk to her. I need to see her, hold her in my arms again.
The night sky is clear and cool. The stars are bright, dotting the sky with projected luminesce. It’s a perfect night for a ride. I take a shower to cool off. The hot water is a reprieve from a day of manual labor. I soap myself, thinking of Lily. That silky hair, those full lips. I stroke myself imagining those lips around me. Her tentative tongue teasing my head. Her bright green eyes looking up at me. She kisses my shaft before sucking me deep into her hot mouth. Suck harder, baby. I pull harder on myself as I picture my finger gripping strands of her hair in my hand, guiding her mouth on me. Her hands grip my thighs. Little indents of her fingertips bite into my skin. Her moans and whimpers of satisfaction surge me on. In no time I am grunting a release crying out her name.
I leave the shower and get dressed. Not a minute later I’m thinking about her again. I’m rock hard. I’ve got to get a hold of myself. I can’t go see Lily like this. I take a couple of deep breathes before heading out into the night.
The moon is bright. I can see where I’m walking, not that I need the light. I’ve walked this path a million times before. During the summers I would wander down this path to her house. When we were younger I would see her family in the windows, cooking dinner, watching TV, laughing, and playing board games. They were close.
