"So, tell me what happened after your mom died. Where exactly did you go?"
She felt safe in Ben's arms, she really did, and she gave into that safety. "I went to a group home. It was kind of a holding place until a family would take us. Too many kids, not enough foster families."
"How long were you there?"
"About six months."
"And then?" he asked.
In the past few weeks she'd seen the admiration Ben had for her, in how she handled Julie, in how she worked, in the way she managed the ranch. She didn't want to lose any of that respect. Earning respect had been a hard-won fight. It was hard to give up even an iota of it.
So she gave him the disinfected version. "Foster families after that. Most weren't so great."
"I'm sorry you had to go through that. I'm sorry you didn't find a family like Lucy did, who wanted you and adopted you."
His compassion made her feel even worse, so she said brightly, "Tina adopted me, even though we never made it official. She became the mom and the sister that I didn't have, and a great mentor, too. She taught me everything I know."
Because she didn't want Ben to probe any further, because she didn't want to lie by omission, she leaned a little closer to him again, and he took the hint.
Bending his head, he muttered, "I feel like a teenager wanting to make out with my first girlfriend."
As his lips covered hers, any thoughts of talking vanished. They knew they didn't have long. They knew they couldn't stay hidden and away from everybody else. She almost felt desperation in Ben's kiss, and she felt the same way.
After he broke away, he gave a rough chuckle. "I'd take you to the barn so we could be alone, but it's one big, empty cavern right now."
She knew what he meant about being alone. He meant he wanted to make love to her. Or was that what he meant? Maybe he just wanted to have sex. Maybe he just wanted to act on chemistry because it had been so long since his divorce.
She had lots of questions, but she was pretty sure he didn't have the answers, either. The bond growing between them was new, never tested. What would happen when it was?
What would happen when she told him the truth?
***
An hour later when they were back at the ranch, Ben took Julie upstairs to put her to bed. After their make-out session they'd gone back to the patio, danced another dance and then called it a day. She could feel he wanted her. She wanted him. Should she invite him to her room? Should she lay out her whole history and then say, Okay, now what do you think?
Still mulling that over, she noticed the light on the answering machine was blinking. She pushed PLAY and then heard Lucy's voice. "Cassie, call me as soon as you get this. I tried to reach you on your cell phone. Where are you? Call me."
Her phone. It was still in her jeans in her duffel bag. She didn't know if she heard excitement in Lucy's voice or something much worse than that. Afraid something had happened to Zack, or maybe one of the McIntyre family, Cassie hunted for her cell phone and pressed SPEED DIAL for Lucy's number.
"Where have you been?" Lucy asked, sounding worried.
"I'm sorry. I was at the barn-raising today. I left my phone in my old pair of jeans. We just got home and I saw your message on the machine. What's going on?"
She heard Lucy let out a breath. "I forgot about the barn-raising. I heard from Gillian. She tried to reach you, too."
Cassie hadn't even bothered checking messages when she reached for her phone to call Lucy. "So, you tell me. What's going on?"
"They think they've found Walter Hunter."
Cassie was sure her heart stopped beating for at least a minute. "They think they found him?"
"They're pretty sure. He lives in Cottonwood, Arizona. He was born there. He has a shop in Sedona, which isn't that far away from Cottonwood, where he sells his wood carvings and other artisans' crafts. He has a website, too. There's a carving of a foal on it that looks very much like the one that you have."
Now Cassie's heart was beating very hard and pounding in her ears.
Ben came into the kitchen and must have seen something in her expression because he came over to stand by her and put his hand on her shoulder.
"Is there anything else?" Cassie asked, needing to know everything.
"Yes. He has a family—a wife and a daughter and a son. His daughter's eighteen and his son's sixteen. Beth and Drew. His wife's name is Olivia. She's from Cottonwood, too. Jake said apparently Mr. Hunter worked at just about everything, construction mostly, saving his money. When he settled in Cottonwood he invested it, was smart about diversifying as it accrued. Then he and his wife opened the store in Sedona. They have a good eye for marketable artists."
"How did Jake do this?"
"He used databases and public records. Gillian said he went backwards and forwards. Most of all he checked with her at each step to see if it felt right."
"So, what now?"
"I have a phone number if you want to call."
After only a heartbeat, she asked soberly, "That's what we want, isn't it?"
"I think so. Zack can't get away right now, but I can drive up tomorrow and we can do this. Jake got a cell phone number, as well as a shop and a home number, so we should be able to reach him."
"Do you want to drive here alone?"
"The weather's beautiful and I'm a very capable and self-sufficient woman, just like you are. Yes, I can come alone. We'll see what he says and then we'll decide what we're going to do next."
"That sounds like a plan."
"No expectations, Cassie."
"Right, no expectations at all." They were both denying the obvious truth. They were hoping for a miracle, a happy reunion, a chance to be connected to the man who had given them life.
After Cassie disconnected the call, it seemed the most natural thing in the world to turn into Ben's arms. He held her and rocked her back and forth. "Did Donovan come through?"
"He and Gillian did. They're certain they have the numbers and background info on the right Walter Hunter."
After Ben held her for a few more minutes, he murmured close to her ear, "Do you need to check the horses?"
She shook her head. "Loren said he'd take care of it."
Of one mind, they turned off the lights, then mounted the steps together, Ben's arm still around her.
At the door to her room, Ben kissed her again. It was a hungry kiss. His hand passed down her back and pressed her into him.
Then he reluctantly backed away, clearing his throat. "Julie fell asleep almost immediately. If she wakes up and needs me I have to be here for her."
But as he studied Cassie and she gazed back at him, he groaned, kissed her again and opened the door to her room. "Is this what you want?" he asked, as he backed her toward the bed.
"Yes." She had never wanted anything more in her life.
She reached for him, stroked his face and realized she was in love with him. Pushing aside fear and doubts, she began unbuttoning his shirt. Soon they were both naked in bed, kissing and touching, and for Cassie...loving. Was Ben loving her, too? Or was he just caught in the moment?
It didn't take long before she was caught in the moment. His kisses and caresses gave her a sense of belonging she'd never felt before. She was truly wanted. But at the last moment, Ben reached for his jeans, plucked out his wallet and pulled a condom from it. Oh yes, she wanted him to use the condom, but how long had he been prepared? Had he expected this to happen? He said he hadn't dated, but—
Doubts. So many doubts. Such a lack of trust.
But when he looked down at her, when he stroked her hair from her cheek, when he kissed her as if he'd never stop, those doubts didn't seem important at all. When they became one, she felt she found something she'd searched for all her life. She held onto him, wishing she never had to let go.
***
Ben awakened and gazed down at Cassie in the predawn shadows. They'd fallen asleep in each other's arms. His chest ached when he thought about how they
'd come together. Had it been a mistake? He didn't know if he could ever trust another woman to stay. Julie would become devastated if she got truly attached and then something happened between him and Cassie. What were they going to do, carry on an affair long distance?
Oh, sure, he'd asked himself that question before last night, though last night, wanting Cassie had taken precedence over everything else.
She stirred and he brushed a finger over her shoulder. As she shifted to her side and looked up at him, her eyes were more vulnerable than he'd ever seen them.
"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice morning-husky.
"I am," she said with a certainly that he thought was a bit forced.
"I don't know where we go from here," he said honestly.
"I don't, either," she agreed. "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"How long have you carried that condom in your wallet?"
He suspected where that question had come from. Cassie had been kicked around and abandoned, and she obviously didn't trust easily. He'd told her he hadn't dated, and that was true. He couldn't be insulted that she needed reassurance.
"It's been there since I went to town with Loren last week and stopped in a drugstore. And I know what your next question is going to be. Did I plan on last night happening? No, I didn't. I just knew something strong was brewing between us and I'd be ready if it went out of control."
"It went out of control last night."
"Yes, it did. Are you sorry about that?" Because if she had regrets, then he'd know he'd taken advantage of her. She'd been stirred up and turmoiled about the idea of calling a man she didn't know and asking him if he was her father. At first, he'd just wanted to give her comfort, but that comfort had quickly turned into desire.
"No, I'm not sorry. Are you?"
Before he could answer, his phone, holstered on the belt of his jeans, began beeping.
He thought about letting it go to voice mail, but this early in the morning it could be serious. "I'd better take that."
He grabbed the phone, checked the screen and said, "It's my VP."
"At 4:30 in the morning?"
"It's 6:30 there. East coast time, remember?" As soon as he said it, he knew he shouldn't have. The time difference was a reminder of their two different worlds and the fact that he'd be heading back to his soon.
Aware of Cassie watching him, he listened to Greg's agitated voice as he told Ben what was going on. After he'd finished explaining their problem, Ben said, "There's no way I can handle this over the phone. Digital pictures aren't going to do it, either. I need to see those samples and figure out what's wrong with them. Then we need to decide what to do about our clients. This requires a full-scale discussion. Hold on a minute."
Ben turned to Cassie. "I need to ask you a favor."
She looked puzzled. "What?"
"I need Greg to fly out here so we can put our heads together and figure out what's going on and fix it. Would it be possible for him to stay in the bunkhouse? I think he'd get a kick out of that. It would only be for one night, maybe two."
"Sure, he can stay in the bunkhouse. Or the guest cabin."
Ben grinned. "My guess is he'll choose the bunkhouse. He's game for things like that." He went back to the phone. "Greg? Catch the first flight out to Wyoming and see what a working cattle ranch is like firsthand. There's a bunkhouse bed waiting for you. Or a guest cabin. Whatever you prefer."
Greg laughed. "Are you serious?"
"Sure am, if you want to do it. Otherwise you can send the samples and we can video-conference and—"
"I'll be there as soon as I can. A working cattle ranch, huh?"
"Horses, too," Ben joked. After giving Greg details of Twin Pines' location, he clicked off.
"He's your right-hand man?" Cassie asked.
"Yep, like Loren is for you. Only Greg's younger than I am, smart as a whip, great with numbers, a good eye and a talent for marketing."
"Wow. I hope he gets a bonus each year."
Ben chuckled. "Yeah, he does."
Cassie began to slide to the other side of the bed but Ben caught her arm and pulled her back to him. After a long, lingering kiss that made him want to crawl back under the sheets with her, he rustled up some good sense, broke away and gathered his clothes. There would be time enough to think about what had happened between them last night...later.
Chapter Ten
Cassie could hardly keep from jumping out of her skin by the time Lucy arrived. She'd kept herself busy with chores. She and Ben had taken Julie on a trail ride. When she looked at him and realized she was in love with him, she practically freaked. And when she thought about what might happen after Lucy arrived, she double-freaked. Falling in love and finding a father was a little bit too much to handle in a month's time.
Had it only been a month since Ben arrived? Maybe time wasn't as important a factor as chemistry or bonds or a feeling that just couldn't be explained.
So when Lucy's SUV rolled up after lunch, Cassie was ready for anything that would lower her stress level even a little. Ben and Julie came out to greet her, too.
When he pulled her travel bag from the back seat, Lucy protested, "You don't have to do that."
"I have orders from Zack to watch over you."
"He called you?" She sounded indignant.
"Now don't pull that independent and self-sufficient act that Cassie does. Zack and I both know you're both very capable, but at a time like this it doesn’t hurt to keep watch. Right?"
Lucy's indignation faded away as she looked from Cassie to Ben, and back to Cassie again. "Right," she said. "It doesn't hurt to keep watch." As Ben and Julie went up the steps into the house, Lucy bumped Cassie's elbow. "What's happened here?"
"I don't think now is a good time to get into it."
This time Lucy took hold of Cassie's elbow and didn't budge. "Spill it."
Shifting from one foot to the other, Cassie couldn't believe how uncomfortable she felt about this. "After the barn-raising yesterday, after you called last night, Ben and I spent some time together."
A smile broke across Lucy's face. "Really? That's wonderful." She looked at Cassie. "Isn't it?"
"I don't know, Luce. He doesn't know so much about me."
"So tell him. Why didn't you tell him before you, well—you know?"
"It happened fast, and I just didn't have the courage, I guess. So much is happening right now."
"You have to tell him."
"I will. But his right-hand man is coming and will be here a day or two. I just don't think now is the right time. Especially since you have to give me pointers on a couple of meals to make. Before I knew Greg was coming, I gave Rachel time off."
But Lucy wasn't distracted by the idea of Rachel not cooking. "If you care about him, Cassie, don't keep secrets from him. Zack did that with me. Remember?"
Cassie did remember. "But everything worked out between you."
"It might have worked out sooner and saved us all a lot of heartache if Zack and I had been honest with each other about who we were and our feelings right from the beginning."
Cassie scoffed. "That's not the way relationships work and you know it. It takes time for trust to build and even then—it's just hard to reveal so much."
"So what you're saying is you don't know how he feels."
"Not exactly."
Lucy rolled her eyes. "All right. Then let's deal with one man at a time. You get on the landline, I'll get on the cordless phone and we'll make this call."
Standing in the kitchen a few minutes later, tapping her foot, Cassie's gaze locked with Lucy's. They were both holding their breath as her phone tried to connect with another all the way in Cottonwood, Arizona. They'd decided to try Walter Hunter's cell phone first.
After three rings, a deep male voice asked, "Hello?"
Cassie gave a nod to Lucy, who clicked in so she could hear the conversation, too.
"Mr. Hunter?" To Cassie's dismay her voice sounded a bit shaky
.
"If you're selling coins or—"
Cassie quickly assured him, "I'm not selling anything." Then she blurted out, "My name's Cassidy Sullivan and I think I'm your daughter."
The silence that greeted her had to be filled, so she went on, "And my twin sister, Lucy, is on the line listening in too. Jeannette Sullivan was our mother. We're twenty-six years old, born on August 3, 1985. A private investigator went to a lot of trouble to try to find you for us. Please don't hang up until we figure this out."
More silence.
"Mr. Hunter, are you there?"
Finally he responded, "I went to find a chair. How do I know this isn't a scam?"
Cassie felt as if she needed a chair herself.
Lucy took over this time. "Mr. Hunter, I'm Lucy—Lucy Burke. Jeannette gave birth to twin girls. She kept Cassie, and I was given up for adoption. Cassie and I just found each other a short time ago. She has your watch."
"My watch? How can that be? When I finally landed somewhere, with decent work, I tried to find Jannie. What I found out was that she'd been killed. I used a P.I., too, and he found the notice of her death."
After a long, deep breath, Cassie plunged in again. "I was five when Mom was killed in an accident. She cherished your watch. She used to pull it out and show it to me, though she wouldn't let me play with it. The night she died, while the police and social worker were talking, I grabbed it and put it in my stuffed horse. I kept it with me all these years, not even knowing who it belonged to. I just knew it was something mom loved."
She hurried on, "We don't want anything from you, I mean nothing monetary or anything like that. I manage Twin Pines Ranch, near Cheyenne and Lucy—she just got married and lives in Long Brush. She was raised on a ranch there. After we found each other, we just thought it would be good if we tried to find you."
"That was twenty-seven years ago," he said, his voice husky. "Jeannette and I— We were kids. I cared for her. I cared for her a lot. But I had nothing, nothing to offer her...except for that pocket watch."
"You gave it to her along with a foal. It has your name carved underneath."
Cassidy's Cowboy (Search For Love) Page 9
