I said nothing more. I whistled to Puggy and followed Portia inside, pulling my cloak more tightly about me as I entered and closed the door behind me.
THE NINETEENTH CHAPTER
Like a dull actor now,
I have forgot my part, and I am out,
Even to a full disgrace.
—William Shakespeare
Coriolanus
“Brisbane, you cannot live in this room with Morag tasting your food and Minna jumping like a hare every time there is a knock at the door. You must make a decision about Lady Allenby. This situation cannot go on indefinitely,” I told him.
We were alone in his bedchamber two days later, after supper. Rosalie had returned to her cottage to collect some fresh supplies, while Portia was endeavouring to be kind to Ailith by spending the evening looking at her doll’s house. Valerius had finally persuaded Hilda to let him begin work on a new henhouse for her little flock. Morag and Minna had agreed to leave Brisbane for the evening on the condition that I remain in his room at all times and surrender my post to Morag when he retired. She had laid a pallet across the doorway and intended to sleep there to guard him. Her devotion to him was beginning to alarm me.
He was still abed, but his nightshirt had been changed and he had grudgingly permitted Morag to shave him. He had a handkerchief pressed to his jaw.
“Am I still bleeding?” He pulled the handkerchief aside and I inspected the wound.
“Not much. But the one on your cheek has opened again. Here, let me,” I said, taking the handkerchief and pressing it firmly against his cheek. “Why on earth you let Morag shave you is beyond my comprehension. She is singularly unsuited to the task.”
“I was bored.”
“Do not shrug. You’ve opened it again. Be still, and listen to me. You cannot leave matters indefinitely. Something must be done about Lady Allenby.”
He touched my wrist, and I suppressed a shiver. “It will be. I have made arrangements already. When you were under Rosalie’s sleeping draught, I dictated instructions to Minna, and Godwin took her to Howlett Magna to the telegraph. The matter will be out of my hands very soon.”
I clamped my mouth shut, determined not to speak. My resolve did not last. “You were quite busy whilst I was out of the way. You mean to see her hang then? Brisbane, how could you? She is old and ailing. She might well be out of her mind, not in the sense that you or I might notice, but somewhere deep within. She cannot really have meant to kill you, not in the same fashion as a person who takes up a knife and stabs another to the heart. She mayn’t even have meant to kill you at all,” I pointed out, warming to my theme. “She might only have meant to make you ill and miscalculated how dangerous the mushrooms were. Or how many you would eat. You can be quite greedy when it comes to food, I’ve noticed. You ought to be more restrained. You could run to fat when you get old.”
“Are you quite finished defending the woman who tried to murder me? You would make a delightful witness for the defence, you know.” His lips were tight, but I did not believe he was entirely put out with me. I blotted at his face again.
“You’re all right now.” I handed him the handkerchief. “If there is nothing I can say to change your mind—”
I moved to the door, but before I could leave he gave a great sigh. “A convent. She is going to a convent. In Ireland. There is apparently some connection with the family. It was founded by an Allenby lady a thousand years ago or some such rot. In any event, I have sent to the mother house in Dublin, and a very discreet abbess replied that they would dispatch a pair of sisters from the convent to fetch her. They have even,” he said, his lips twitching in what I assumed was amusement, “promised to pray for my soul in perpetuity for showing such compassion to an old woman who now has time to atone for her sins before she must stand in judgment before her Maker.”
I hardly knew what to say. How like him to resolve the entire situation so neatly and so appropriately. And how like him to torment me a little before taking me into his confidence.
“When does she leave?”
“Tomorrow. I was naturally not inclined to spend any more time than strictly necessary under the same roof as Lady Allenby once she confessed.”
“Her poor daughters,” I murmured. “They will be quite lost now.”
Brisbane’s expression turned thoughtful, but he said nothing.
I shook my head. “I still cannot quite take it in. That elegant old lady, willing to kill you.”
Still he did not speak, but a muscle moved in his jaw, and I realised he was angry, far angrier than I had guessed.
“I would like to see her before she goes,” I told him.
He nodded and Morag returned, effectively putting an end to our conversation. I left him then, his expression thoughtful and his eyes fixed on the view of the moor from the window.
The next morning after breakfast, I paid a visit to Lady Allenby. Mrs. Butters had told me she was still in her room, receiving no one. I gathered my nerve and tapped on the door, calling softly to her.
“Lady Allenby, it is Lady Julia. May I come in?”
She made no reply, but I opened the door and slipped in, closing it behind me. Lady Allenby was kneeling at her prie-dieu, her full skirts spread about her like a still pool of black water. Her rosary was clasped in her hands, and her lips were moving. Her gaze did not waver from the crucifix on the wall. I waited several minutes as her hands moved over the beads, counting them off one at a time.
At last she reached the end and crossed herself.
“I apologise,” she said faintly. In spite of my horror of what she had done, I went to her and helped her to her feet. She gave me a grateful smile, only faintly tinged with cynicism.
“You are kind,” she said, looping the rosary at her belt and regarding me closely. “You do not like me, and yet you help me. That speaks of the virtue of compassion. Something of the divine dwells in you, my child.”
Already she spoke like a nun. She seated herself in a straight-backed chair and waved me to another opposite. I settled myself, feeling strangely awkward, as though I were a pupil summoned before an exacting headmistress. I tried to compose myself and remember why I had come.
“I do not think you came to gawk at the would-be murderess,” she remarked softly. “Was there another purpose?”
I shook my head, wondering why I found the interview so difficult. She was in the wrong, and yet she had managed with a coolly superior look and a few choice words to make me feel entirely at fault.
She sighed, and when she spoke it was with exaggerated patience. “Do you want to know why I did it, or how? Life with him will be extraordinarily difficult, you know. It might suit you to know the method. Just in case you have need of it,” she finished coldly.
I rose at once. “It was a mistake to have come,” I told her, my tone as icy as hers. “I thought to understand you, but there is nothing to understand. I ought to have known you for what you were the day you told me about the bees. You were ruthless to them, and you were ruthless to Brisbane.”
She curled her lip at me, scorn written in every line of her countenance. “My dear girl, now you know the true legacy of the Allenbys. Ruthlessness has always been our byword.”
She began to laugh then, laughing until she wept, great, wracking sobs. She motioned angrily for me to leave her, and the sound of her weeping was still ringing in my ears when I left her.
I descended the stairs, intending to take a brisk walk across the moor to calm myself, but there was a stranger standing in the hall, a small travelling bag at her side. She was dressed in a plain black habit, the coif perfectly starched and blindingly white. I wondered vaguely how she had managed to keep herself so tidy on her travels.
“Sister?” I began, moving toward her. She had been looking about the panelled hall with great interest, but at the sound of my voice she turned, her eyes wide, her lips set in a half-smile.
“I rang the bell, but no one came. I thought no one would mind if I let my
self in,” she began.
“Think nothing of it,” I assured her. “The master of the house, Mr. Brisbane, is still abed,” I said, glossing lightly over the reason for her visit.
She nodded, the smile fading. “I am Sister Bridget,” she said suddenly, thrusting out a hand. I took it, introducing myself and explaining briefly as I could that I was a friend of the new owner. Her hand was warm in mine, the palm hard and edged with calluses. It was a sturdy hand, formed by hard labour, and it suited her, for she was a tall, solid sort of woman. I doubted she spent her days singing in the chapel choir. This was a woman who served God literally, toiling in the fields or labouring in the kitchens, I decided.
“I hope you have not travelled alone, sister. I thought there was a pair of you coming to collect Lady Allenby.”
The nun’s eyes drifted up to the ceiling again, where pale shadows of crowned A’s were barely visible overhead.
“Aye. Sister Dolores. She thought to stay in Lesser Howlett and let me come alone. She did not fancy a walk across the moor, and Godwin Allenby was kind enough to fetch me,” she said with a faint smile.
Brisbane had given no instructions regarding the nun, and I was just wondering what I ought to do with her when Minna appeared.
“Mr. Brisbane said as the sister has arrived, if you would be good enough to show her into the great hall to wait, he will come,” she said, bobbing curtseys at me and to Sister Bridget, to the nun’s obvious amusement.
“He ought not to be up and about yet, but if I tell him so, he will only argue. Very well, Minna. Tell him we will await him there.”
She scurried off and I turned, but Sister Bridget was already moving, looking about her with avid interest.
“It is a lovely house,” I said, not quite truthfully, “but it has seen some difficult times lately. The furnishings are gone, but there is one relic of the family who built the place.”
I nodded toward the mouldering tapestry on the wall. Sister Bridget gave a little intake of breath and went to it, putting out a fingertip to trace the lines of embroidery. She ought not to have, but it was not mine to protect, and truth be told, it was in sorry enough condition as it was. I wondered what would become of it now. I supposed Ailith and Hilda would live together in the Bear’s Hut with Mrs. Butters, but I doubted there would be a wall in any cottage large enough to accommodate it.
“Moths have been at this,” Sister Bridget said finally, touching a series of tidy little holes. “And likely the damp as well.” She scraped a fingernail over the patch that had been picked out, pulling loose a tiny golden thread. She held it out to me, smiling.
“One gold thread. The only remnant of a lost girl,” she said softly.
I blinked at her, comprehension dawning at last. “You are Wilfreda Allenby.”
She smiled, and in her wide honest face, I saw none of the ruthless cunning of the Allenbys. They were nature’s aristocrats, beautiful and merciless. This girl had kindness in her face and good humour, and I found her altogether more attractive than her far lovelier sister. She reminded me of Hilda, but there was a pleasantness to her countenance, a contentedness that spoke of satisfaction with her place in the world.
“I am,” she said roundly. “And I think you know more about my family than a stranger might. Tell me quickly, is Mrs. Butters still here? I am gasping for a cup of tea and one of her little plum cakes.”
I managed a nod. “I am sure she would be only too happy to provide you with refreshment. Forgive me, you’ve had a long journey. I ought to have offered straightaway.”
She waved a hand. “It can wait a moment. I am too much a coward to leave this room quite yet.”
With a rush of sympathy, I realised what she meant. She was at Grimsgrave to collect her mother to do penance for attempting a murder. That would have been difficult enough, but added to that was the strangeness of coming home after so many years away.
“How long has it been?” I asked her.
“Very nearly twenty years. That was why I came alone. Sister Dolores thought I ought to face my ghosts on my own. She is very wise.”
“Did Godwin know you?”
“Oh, aye, he knew me well enough. I could not bring myself to ask him after my family. We talked rather a lot about sheep on our way here. I understand they are disappearing. They never did that in the old days.” Sister Bridget gave me a smile then that was so sad, so wistful, I wondered how I could ever have thought her merry.
“Has it been so difficult then?”
She groped for her words, choosing them carefully. “Not always. Most of the time it has been peaceful. I have known real serenity, Lady Julia, and that has been a gift. I will not know it again. I had thought Grimsgrave and my family were in my past, and I find they are in my present as well. I will not make that mistake again. We are what we are, blood cannot be undone.”
“Were you close to your family?”
She said nothing for a moment, and I wondered if I had offended her. But the wide, clear brow was furrowed slightly, and I realised she was thinking carefully.
“No, I do not believe that I was. We were never the ideal, you know. Never what one thinks a family ought to be. Father was always too busy carrying on with his magistrate’s duties, making quite certain everyone followed the law to its strictest interpretation. Mother was distant—living in the past, I think, when the Allenby name meant something. We were kings, once upon a time, and for my mother, time has stood still. We were never permitted to make friends with the other children. We never even played with Godwin. We had only each other, and yet…”
She paused and I looked at her encouragingly.
“Have you brothers and sisters, Lady Julia?”
“Nine, actually.”
The fair brows lifted. “Indeed. Then perhaps you will understand. Even amongst one’s siblings, one can be entirely alone.”
I thought of my place in the family as the youngest daughter. Only my brother Valerius was lesser, and yet he and I, who ought to have been allies, had often been at odds. I had known the close affection of Benedick and Portia, but some of the elder children were far removed from the nursery by the time I made my appearance. The eccentricity of my family had made it easy enough to justify holding them at arm’s length when I was so inclined.
“I think so,” I told her.
“It was that way for me. I was the eldest, and I was a disappointment. Both of my parents were certain I would be a boy, an heir for Allenby. And when Redwall was born, I was dispensable.”
Such was the legacy of primogeniture upon the female psyche, I reflected bitterly.
“And when Ailith was born?”
“Oh, more disappointment, of course. They would have liked another son to secure the line, but she was so beautiful, even from birth. It was as if everything pure and lovely in the Allenby blood had been perfected in her. I never saw a more striking child, although truth be told, Redwall was extraordinarily handsome himself. Hilda was nothing but an afterthought. No one ever paid her much attention. I was the odd one out,” she said with a wry smile. “With a peasant’s face and a sturdy gait, always with an argument or a truculent mood. My mother despaired of ever making a lady of me. All I cared about were books. I thought for awhile that Redwall and I might be good friends because we shared a love of learning, but he had no use for me.”
The words were spoken conversationally, with no regret, no bitterness. A simple recitation of facts that must have wounded her deeply at the time.
“The truth is Redwall was so obsessed with anything Egyptian. He simply could not be educated in any other subjects. Father ran off a dozen tutors for failing to teach him simple mathematics. He was a stubborn boy. I think being fussed over, having so much made of him as the heir, rather ruined his character. He was not always a pleasant child, and Ailith always followed where he led.”
I thought of the mummified children hidden behind the chimney and wondered if Sister Bridget knew precisely how unpleasant her brother could be.
“He was given to playing pranks, and I am sorry to say, the tricks were usually cruel ones, at someone else’s expense. He stole the note I left for Mama, explaining my decision to join a convent. He told her I had eloped with an artist.”
“That is monstrous,” I breathed.
Sister Bridget shrugged. “He did a dozen things worse, I am certain. He was angry that I left, that I was willing to reject the Allenby name and all that it stood for, and he wanted to hurt me. He thought that maligning my reputation would be the best way, but in truth, it was the only weapon he had. He could not harm me. I was in a convent. All he could do was spread gossip about me, and I was immune to his venom.”
“But Lady Allenby, she must have been quite devastated. The thought of her daughter taking the veil might have given her some comfort. At least, the comfort of knowing you were safe and happy.”
“Oh, Redwall would not have cared about that. He was angry with Mother because she would not give him the funds to go to Egypt. It was before he attained control of the estate, under the terms of Father’s will. He was dependent upon Mother for everything then, and I think it galled him to have to ask for every last farthing. He was angry with her, angry with me. It was a rather efficient little revenge really.”
“And has Lady Allenby never learned the truth? Even now?”
Sister Bridget shrugged. “I do not know. If Redwall confided in anyone, it would have been Ailith, and she would never have gone against his authority, even after his death.”
“Why did you never tell Lady Allenby yourself? You might have written.”
She gave a short, unpleasant little laugh. “My dear lady, you clearly did not know Redwall. He collected the post himself. He wrote to me once, and only once, to tell me what he had done and to assure me that it was futile to think of writing to Mother because she wanted nothing to do with me.” She gave me an apologetic look. “I was younger then, and I believed him. I went to the head of my order for guidance, and she counselled me not to write, as thinking on my temporal family would only serve to interfere with my conventual life. For the most part I obeyed,” she said with a wry little twist of the lips. “But once or twice I did send a letter, appealing to Redwall’s better nature. Unfortunately, he did not have one.”
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