by Desiree Holt
“Yep. Not always stew, though. One time, she made seven pans of lasagna. That was so good.”
The boy was actually rubbing his belly.
“Nah, remember the time she made enchiladas,” Denz said. “Now, that was good.”
They continued to talk about the best of Tink’s dishes as the last few people finished and cleaned up.
“Well, time for us to go,” Will said, standing.
I glanced around, puzzled.
“She’ll be back soon. She said she was going to walk around the neighborhood and check on everyone.
After they left, I went to look out the window. Cael and his men weren’t standing across the street. I leaned to see right then left, but I spotted nothing. That didn’t mean they still weren’t out there. And even if this really was a chance for me to run free and clear, where could I go that they wouldn’t track me down again? No, this was the best place for me.
I went to the bathroom and found a new toothbrush set out on the counter. Smiling slightly, I opened it up. Sometimes she seemed really crazy and, sometimes, pretty sane.
* * *
At some point during the night, something wet brushed against my heeling lip. The sensation was enough to pull me from my sleep. I licked my lips and fell back into the arms of an erotic dream involving my crazy benefactress, a copy machine, and black horn-rimmed glasses.
TINK
Panting heavily, I stood on the other side of the door and listened to him roll over on the couch. I’d licked him. His mouth. I couldn’t believe I’d done that. No. Not true. I couldn’t believe I waited so long to do it.
“Stop it. You know where this will lead,” I said to myself. Yes. I did know. And my entire body tingled with the idea of it. “It’s not just sex. It’s a commitment to your old way of life. The one you ran from, idiot,” I said, smacking the side of my head. It seemed to rattle some sense into me.
Five
TINK
The sound of the shower woke me again. I groaned and rolled over, listening to the crinkle of my mattress protector while wishing I had a pillow to cover my head. But I didn’t. Pillows were hard to thoroughly clean. If not for the plastic protector over the mattress, I wouldn’t even have a bed.
Excess makes your wits dull.
“No, your yammering does,” I mumbled into the mattress.
My own scent filled my nose as I inhaled. Crap. I’d just washed the sheets. They shouldn’t have smelled like me yet. Not after only one night. Then, I realized I’d forgotten to shower. How could I forget?
I’d lost control the night before. The sight of him peacefully sleeping on my couch had called me close to his side. Rogan tempted me like no other, and I hadn’t been able to stop myself. I blamed the spoon even as I craved another taste. I wanted to sink my teeth in him. My gaze slid to my closed door.
The image of me sliding into the shower with Rogan filled my head. My pulse spiked, and my breathing grew shorter. In an effort to control the impulse to get out of bed and make the picture in my head a reality, I closed my eyes, clenched my fists, and started reciting my man-mantra.
“No amount of pleasure can make up for the pain in my ass that will come my way if I give in. A solitary existence is a problem-free existence.”
In the bathroom, the water shut off, spurring me to get out of bed. I stripped the bedding quickly and threw it into a laundry basket. Then, I stood there, debating. I couldn’t get dressed, not smelling like I did. But I couldn’t walk out to the bathroom, either.
A soft knock sounded on my door.
Distractions are tools others use to control you.
“No distractions here.”
“Tink? Is everything all right?”
“Take Kye and get more food,” I called through the door. Was he properly dressed? I hoped not. I licked my lips before I could stop myself.
Lose control, lose power.
“Uh...”
“Go. Now,” I said.
The sound of his retreating steps had me breathing easier. I went to the door and listened closely. As soon as he left the apartment, I dashed to the bathroom. I took out the jug of bleach I kept under the bathroom sink and took it into the shower with me. Soap didn’t clean well enough. Straight up bleach did, but it burned. There was a warning label about getting it on skin and everything. But what choice did I have?
I washed quickly then wrapped myself in a clean towel. Inhaling the intense bleach odor, I calmed slightly. Crisis averted.
In times of crisis, keep calm. Panic solves nothing.
“Keep calm and carry on,” I said, opening the door.
The sight of Rogan in my room, froze me. As I watched, he started to bend and reach for my laundry basket.
“No!”
I flew from the bathroom and into my bedroom, stopping myself just before I reached him.
At my shout, he’d jumped a little and turned. We stared at each other wide-eyed.
“What are you doing?” I demanded.
“I was going to throw in your laundry.”
“Don’t touch my things. They’re mine.”
“Tink, I was just trying to help.” He came toward me, his compassionate gaze softening my resolve as he set a comforting hand on my bare shoulder. The touch made my skin burn. My pulse spiked again.
“I won’t give in.” My words had more strength than my will.
“That’s okay,” he said, dropping his hand. “You can do your own laundry. Kye’s still eating breakfast, and I thought I could do something else for you while I waited for her.”
“I’m naked. Get out.”
His gaze dipped to my shoulders then further down to my bare legs. Heat ignited in the depth of his stare.
“Naked’s nothing to be ashamed of, Tink,” he said, moving past me.
I kept still until he cleared my room, then I quickly shut the door and dressed. How long would I be able to keep this up? Not long. The truth would be exposed.
Truth always comes to light.
“Yes, it does.”
“Tink,” Kye called from the kitchen. “We ain’t got no money.”
I pulled my wet hair back into a bun and pinned it to my head. Rolling my shoulders, I left my room and grabbed some money from my purse.
Sending Rogan out was as dangerous as keeping him here. According to my neighbors, there were three guests roaming our streets. No one ever saw more than a glimpse of them because they were quick to avoid contact with anyone. But one thing was clear, the men who’d beaten Rogan the night I first saw him weren’t giving up.
“Keep him close, Kye,” I said, handing the girl the cash.
“I know,” she said as she reached out and took his hand. I bristled at the contact.
This was never going to work.
ROGAN
I left the building with Kye at my side.
“Did Tink seem the same to you?” I asked.
“Yeah. Why?”
I shook my head. She’d seemed a little more uptight and a bit weirder than I was used to, not that I’d been there long enough to be used to anything. Maybe it was because she hadn’t had clothes on, a view I was very happy to have caught. Maybe it was because she’d taken another bleach shower. That couldn’t be good for her. I didn’t like the idea that she might be hurting herself with her odd washing habits.
“What are we supposed to be getting anyway?” Kye asked, changing the subject.
“Not sure. She just said food again. I was kind of hoping you’d know.”
“I do. I’ve shopped for Tink lots.”
Before we crossed the street, Cael stepped out from around the corner. We didn’t stand more than three feet apart. I flinched, ready to run.
“The descent’s begun. You need to make your choice soon.”
“And you need to back off,” Kye said as he turned and walked away. “He’s going to get his ass handed to him.”
Kye started moving again and I kept pace.
“What did he mean?” she aske
d.
“I’m not sure,” I said, lying.
The descent was a rite of passage our females embraced. The moon held power over the oceans, the tides, and us. In our species, women had the innate ability to tap into the power of the moon once they matured. They became stronger, faster, and more agile as they absorbed more power with each full moon.
However, the power of the moon came with a price. The descent.
Each female descended at different rates, but the concept behind the descent was the same, a degeneration of their humanity. For most, the first sign was killing for sport instead of food during a full moon run. The rapid descent of a strong female, like the Lutha in training, could jeopardize the existence of our kind because hunting animal prey wouldn’t be a challenge. Humans would be.
I looked at the little girl at my side. Good thing Arya wasn’t here. This already endangered neighborhood would be extinct within days.
Once human prey ran out, a descending female might turn on her own kind.
Yet, despite the risks, females all pushed themselves to wait as long as possible before taking a mate and stopping the descent. Stopping the descent meant stopping the growth of power. The longer a female could walk that path of animalistic behavior, the stronger her connection with the moon became.
Alone, a female was a container without a cap. Once a female mated, she started harnessing the power she’d gained. Men could tap into that power through their mates. The stronger the woman, the stronger the man.
The current Lutha had held out an unprecedented four years before taking a mate. Given her apathetic dominion over our kind, I believed she’d lost too much of herself by waiting so long.
That didn’t mean I was about to run Cael down and offer myself up. No. The Lutha could choose someone else for her daughter.
Kye and I walked into the store, and just like last time, she took a cart and directed the shopping. I didn’t pay much attention to what went into the cart. My thoughts stayed on what Cael had said.
The Lutha had picked me less than a year after her daughter’s maturation. Hardly enough time for the descent to take hold. Yet, for Cael to mention it meant she wasn’t descending well. Only the weakest females broke and took a mate within their first year. That the old Lutha was pushing for a quick mating, meant I would likely end up with a crazy mate. How did Cael think telling me this news would help sway me?
I looked out the window at the front of the store and realized the message hadn’t been to convince me. It had been to warn me. And suddenly all the pieces clicked into place for me. Of all the willing and slightly resistant possibilities, the old Lutha had selected me. Why? Because she’d known I would run. My running gave her the perfect reason to push for a mating just after the year was up without the Lutha having to admit her protégé was weak and unfit to fill her position.
The old Lutha was trying to hide her daughter’s weakness and slip into madness. There would be no limits to what she would do now.
“Rogan, are you listening to me?” Kye asked, poking my arm.
“What? Yeah. I’m listening.”
“Then what did I just say?”
“That there isn’t a prettier girl in this neighborhood than you.”
“That’s the truth, but it’s not what I said. Do you want chicken or beef?” she asked, holding up a package of both.
“Chicken.”
“Cuz there’s more in it, right?”
I winked at her.
“You and Tink shop the same. More food for the money.”
“That’s just smart buying when there are a lot of mouths to feed.”
“I guess,” she said, putting the meat into the cart. “Let’s get out of here.”
We paid and walked out with our purchases. Cael stared at me as we passed.
“That’s right, mister. Keep your ass right there,” Kye called provokingly with swagger in her step.
I chuckled and kept pace with her. My situation was anything but funny. However, the little girl at my side had unintentionally reminded me that life wasn’t about the situations we faced but our reactions to them. That didn’t mean I suddenly thought myself able to face Cael and his boys. No, I’d just realized how much of my life they’d already taken, and I wasn’t about to give them more.
“Come on, Kye. Let’s see what Tink wants us to do next.”
Only Tink wasn’t in her apartment when we walked in. Kye shrugged in her uncaring way and helped me put away groceries.
“Want to come to my house for lunch?” she asked when we finished.
“Sure.”
Her house was an apartment on the first floor. She opened the door and called out, “I brought Rogan.”
Shay stepped out from the kitchen. She looked like an older version of Kye. A grumpier version.
“Tink’s Rogan?” she asked, eyeing me.
I grinned. Tink’s Rogan had a nice ring to it. Sure, Tink might be crazy, but she wasn’t the running-around-killing-and-eating-humans level of crazy. I’d rather hook up with her version of unstable than what waited for me back home. That thought took away some of my grin. If the Lutha had it out for me now, I could only imagine her reaction if I hooked up with a human.
“I guess,” Kye said.
The woman harrumphed. “Well, come in. Sit. I’ll fix you two sandwiches.”
As Kye and I ate peanut butter and jelly, Shay scolded Will for not cleaning his room.
“Your bed looks like a coon’s nest. Go make it.”
“When have you ever seen a coon’s nest, Auntie?”
“Are you sassing me?”
“No ma’am. Wouldn’t dream of it.”
Though the words were gruff and lacked any hint of a kind tone, I could see and feel the affection the two shared.
After lunch, Kye took me around the building to meet the few residents I hadn’t met while helping Will and Denz clean. I liked the friendly attitude they all had toward each other. Like family. It wasn’t too far off from the kind of place I’d grown up. Except it had been houses and duplex’s in a rural neighborhood versus crowded inner city apartment buildings.
“So how long are you staying?” Kye asked.
“As long as Tink will let me, I guess. Not sure where else to go.”
“Tink will find you a place and get you a job. She did that for Aunt Shay and Cara and a lot of others.”
“She helps women become prostitutes?”
“Nah,” she said, laughing. “Cara was a prostitute when she came here. Tink just pointed out how to be a cleaner one. No drugs, better customers, and that kind of thing.”
“Does your Aunt Shay know you know all this?”
“I’ll show you the rest of the neighborhood,” Kye said with a grin.
By dinner, when we returned, there was a meal on the stove again, but still no Tink. I ate alone and washed up my dishes. After our close encounter this morning, I’d hoped to spend a little more time with her. Not because I’d seen her in a towel—although that view had been nice—but because of the look in her eyes just before she’d kicked me out. For just a moment, I thought I’d glimpsed loneliness. I didn’t like the idea of Tink feeling lonely. Not when I was here willing to spend time with her.
I drifted off to sleep, wondering what that small woman did with her days.
Six
ROGAN
Dreams of Tink dressed in a virginal white negligée while sitting properly behind a librarian counter changed to dreams of Tink on all fours, looking over her shoulder at me. But in every dream, I couldn’t touch her, taste her or smell her. I could only look at her.
I was still on the couch, blissfully unaware of the hour when someone came running up the steps.
“Tink,” Shay called before entering. “It’s Will and Denz—”
Tink’s door opened, and she rushed out into the living room. Her prim pale pink pajamas made me grin as I laid my head back on the couch and shifted to a more comfortable position.
“They went to Phet
’s last night to play some new game. I knew better than to wait up. When I went to wake Will, the bed was the same as it was yesterday. I checked with Denz’s mom. She said he didn’t come home, either. I called Phet to tell them to get their little asses home, but Phet said they left his place last night at eleven.”
“Not now,” Tink said, shaking her head like she had water in her ear.
“Who’s Phet?” I asked, sitting up.
“Another boy in the neighborhood. A few buildings down,” Shay said, watching Tink.
“No, no, no,” Tink mumbled as she started to pace.
I stood and started folding the blanket. I could see by Tink’s increasing twitchiness that she was worried about the two boys and unlikely to go back to sleep.
“Is there anywhere else they might have gone?” I asked, setting the folded blanket on the arm of the couch.
Shay started shaking her head then hesitated. “Maybe the Mixer, but Will said he was going to avoid it for a while because of the warning you gave him, Tink.”
Tink paused in her pacing.
“Yes. A girl. I’ll find them.” She turned and went back to her room.
Shay looked at me.
“I’ll go with Tink. I’m sure Will and Denz are fine. Go keep an eye on Kye, and we’ll find them and bring them home.” She gave me an assessing look then nodded and went back downstairs.
Tink emerged from her room. Neat slacks and a button up top had replaced the pajamas. She strode to the door, looking like she would walk right out.
“Tink, don’t you want shoes and maybe your jacket?”
“Yes, yes.” She slid her feet into her pumps and put on her jacket.
I quickly got my shoes on and followed her out the door.
Once we were outside, I stopped and looked around. The sun was just lighting the sky and turning the bricks of the apartment buildings yellow-orange.
“Any idea where to look first?”
“Phet’s,” she said, starting to walk.
“That’s a weird name,” I commented. Most the names here were weird.
