by Desiree Holt
He nodded, and I slipped off my shoes and jacket, letting both fall to the small patch of linoleum that served as an entry.
“Strip the outer layers off here. I’ll get the laundry basket.” It made more sense to wash before I tried to approach the subject of us. Looking at my bloody face might distract him from what I wanted to say.
I left the room, walking carefully to retrieve the laundry basket. I didn’t want any of the bits in my hair to fall to the carpet. Clean up would already be a nightmare without it.
When I returned to the entry, Rogan waited with his shirt in his hands. The chiseled and lightly furred planes of his chest pulled my attention. His flat and slightly dark nipples stood out against his sun-kissed skin. I wanted to lick them and run my fingers over every inch of exposed skin. My gaze dropped to his jeans. The button was loose and the fly open, giving me a glimpse of a dark happy trail and hip bones. My mouth watered.
Control is power.
Stupid voice. I gripped the basket tightly, trying to keep in control.
“Come on,” I said, my voice steady. “Clothes in.”
“Uh, I only have one layer,” he said looking slightly sheepish.
“Naked’s nothing to be ashamed of, Rogan.” I arched a brow, waiting.
He grinned.
“No ma’am. It’s not. But you mentioned talking about my future here, and I think we should do that first.”
“Talk before showering?”
“Yeah, there are some things I need to tell you. Some things you might not believe at first. But, I’ve seen how you care for the people here, and I don’t want to jeopardize that with lies or secrets.”
ROGAN
The heated light in Tink’s gaze had tempted me to strip and see how things would play out, but I couldn’t do that to her. I wanted her to have the truth and a choice first. She watched me intently, ready to hear whatever I had to say.
“Those men out there, they were sent to bring me back to where I’m from.” I clenched the shirt in my hand, fighting the anger at my Lutha and my nerves at telling my story to Tink.
“Where I’m from…whew, it’s a mess of a story. A woman leads us, a very large group of people. We call her the Lutha. What she says goes. Disagreeing or trying to fight her word is a direct challenge. But if you listen and follow orders, you’re rewarded. Power. A good home. Money.”
I took a deep breath, wondering just how much of this Tink would really understand.
“She has it in her head that I’d be a great…husband for her daughter. I disagree and have been running from her decision for weeks. Those men just now, she sent them to bring me back, and they’re getting desperate. The Lutha’s getting desperate. Her daughter is going crazy, and the only thing that will stop her from getting worse is if she marries someone.”
Tink’s expression clouded.
“You’re not supposed to be telling me this,” she said, setting the basket on the floor.
“No. I’m not. But I don’t want you confronting them again. I’m worried I’ve pushed my leader too far. I don’t want to see you hurt, Tink.”
“Sweet Rogan, I won’t be hurt. Undress. Shower. We’ll talk more after we’re both clean.”
She turned her back on me and went to the kitchen. I was half tempted to follow her and keep talking, but she was right. It would be better to talk when I wasn’t covered in Bull.
As she ran the faucet for a drink of water, I stripped out of my pants and put them in the basket. Naked, I walked to the bathroom and closed the door.
The growing strength of the urge to make this place my home confused me. I wanted to belong here so badly, but couldn’t really say why, other than something about Tink drew me. Starting the water so it warmed, I then checked the mirror and pulled loose bits of Bull from my hair and tossed them in the toilet.
Her actions still stunned me. A human might be put off by what she’d done, but I wasn’t human. She’d rescued Zepher and defended her people. And she’d done it all without any hesitation or doubt. Cael and his type wanted power, but that had never appealed to me. I’d always wanted someone with strength of character and mental control. I’d been waiting and looking for her in the wrong places.
With the last bit of tissue in the toilet, I stepped into the shower and washed thoroughly. Thankfully, the soap Tink had was naturally scented with honey and chamomile, both light fragrances that wouldn’t make my nose ache like her bleach.
When I dried and stepped out of the shower with a towel around my waist, the door was open and Tink was waiting in the hall. A towel similarly covered her.
“You smell nice,” she said softly, her eyes traveling from my feet to my eyes.
“You’ll smell nicer, too, without Bull covering you.”
She grinned.
“Our clothes are in the washer. I asked around and found something you can wear until everything’s done drying.” She gestured politely with an arm, indicating I should leave the bathroom.
“You sure you don’t need help washing your hair?”
Her eyes heated, and my pulse jumped. My gaze dipped to her towel, and I couldn’t deny I was curious about what lay beneath. I knew she was considering the idea as her gaze raked me again. If I washed her, I wouldn’t use bleach. I wanted to know what she really smelled like. Probably as amazing as she was.
“I’m quite sure I don’t need your help with this shower,” she said slowly.
I didn’t let my disappointment get me down. It would be better if we talked first.
“It could have been fun,” I said, leaving the bathroom.
She smiled slightly as she closed herself into the small sterile room. Shaking my head, I went to the couch where some sweats and a t-shirt were waiting. I skipped the too small shirt and pulled on the sweats. They were a little short, but covered what required covering.
Stomach rumbling, I went to the refrigerator and pulled out what I needed for chicken casserole in a pot. It wasn’t very creative, but it would taste good and be filling. Filling being the key. I’d missed breakfast and lunch.
I had the noodles boiling and the chicken chunks browning when the shower turned off. The bathroom door opened a few minutes later. I watched the arch hopefully until her bedroom door closed.
By the time she appeared, I had the casserole tossed and on our plates. Like the last time we ate together, she took her plate and went to stand by the sink.
“Thank you for making dinner.”
“You’re welcome,” I said, picking up my fork after she took the first bite.
“Mmm.” Her mouth was too full of food to say more.
“Glad you like it.”
We ate in silence for several minutes. After she finished, she washed her plate then came for mine. I stayed where I was, not because I was lazy or unwilling to help, but because I liked watching her move.
She rinsed the rag then came over to wipe the counter. Something tickled my nose.
I inhaled deeply, scenting blood. The counters were clean of dinner and the garage was empty. I inhaled again trying to pinpoint the source. What could be? I looked at Tink, who was calmly washing her hands at the sink. Without consciously deciding to, I stood and took a step closer.
“Stop,” she said without turning. She exhaled heavily, turned off the water, and reached out for the towel to dry her hands.
“I knew what you were as soon as I saw you,” she said as she turned to face me. “All of you.”
I stared at her in shocked silence as pieces fell into place. The bleach and cleaners. Her hold over these people. Her—I inhaled deeply—moon smell.
TINK
He was staring at me. I hated when they stared like that.
Meet each gaze with authority. If you feel intimidated, don’t show it.
I ignored the voice and focused on Rogan. Since he’d arrived, the voice hadn’t shut up, but the headaches had eased a bit. I wasn’t sure why and didn’t have anyone who I could ask because I’d run from my kind long ago.
Brows to his hairline, Rogan still wore his surprise. It annoyed me. Why was the thought of my non-human existence so shocking?
“Do you know how frustrating it was to have you show up? I’ve worked so hard to stay away from everything, and you all show up right on my doorstep.” I folded the towel and calmly set it aside.
His shock faded as he considered me.
“How did you get here?” he asked slowly. “How have you…held out so long?”
The male you choose must be a match for you in strength and endurance. A weak male will only weaken you.
“I left when I was seventeen. My mom was driving me crazy with her constant training. The leading pair for our community was getting older, and she had high hopes for me during the next challenge cycle. She’d been training me since...” I looked down at the floor for a moment, thinking back. “I can’t remember a time before the training. And I can’t forget. It’s in my head, her voice on repeat. Rules, lessons, little nuggets of what she considered wisdom.”
I realized I’d started talking loudly over her voice and fidgeted slightly before stopping myself and meeting his gaze again.
“When I first left, my head was clear. I ran like you did. Only, no one but my mom cared I was gone. My dad gave me money before I left,” I said, smiling slightly.
“For the first year, everything was fine. I worked odd jobs, saved my money, and moved on when I needed to. Every now and again, something would pop into my head. Not quite her voice, just a memory of something she taught me. But, after that first year, I started not feeling like myself. I’d started the descent.”
It was a fitting name for what was happening to me. Most days I felt like I lived in my own hell.
“How long ago?”
“Six years.”
“Impossible,” he breathed.
I grinned, unable to stop the surge of pride I felt. At the time I’d left, no female had managed to live in control with the descent as long as I had.
“Not impossible. Just not very comfortable.” It wasn’t just the voice that rode me, but the need to choose a male. “It helped living with the humans. Not many of the men tempted me enough to scratch my itch.”
“So you’ve avoided all of us for eight years?”
“Mostly, yeah. Until you.”
He exhaled heavily and motioned to the couch.
“Mind if I sit?”
“Go ahead.” I followed at a distance. I wasn’t worried about him suddenly attacking me or anything. The distance was for his safety.
“Where does this leave us?” he asked, averting his gaze.
Was it because he’d guessed how badly I wanted him? Annoyance and guilt churned inside me, even as I eyed his bare chest yet again.
“You’ve spent weeks running away from a commitment you didn’t want. I’m not going to force a different one on you, if that’s what you’re worried about. You’ve won your freedom. You’re welcome to stay under my protection, like everyone else here.”
He looked up at me.
“You’ll be able to resist? I can smell the moon on you.”
We had such a polite way of saying a bitch was in heat. I smiled slightly.
“I’ll resist as long as you keep your distance.” I sat on the stool and tilted my head to study him. “I’m glad you’re here. I didn’t realize how lonely I was for one of my kind.”
“What’s your name? Your real name?”
She sighed.
“Ambrey.”
Eight
ROGAN
My librarian was a she-wolf named Ambrey. A dream come true, until she burst my dream by telling me I was completely resistible.
I absently scratched my chest as I considered the irony. The bitch I didn’t want, wanted me too much; the one I wanted, didn’t seem to want me much at all. But, I knew patience was the key. The Lutha had taught me that with her game of cat and mouse. I wasn’t done trying. I wanted my librarian.
“How long do you plan to live like this? Descending?”
She shrugged slightly.
“It wasn’t something I ever planned on doing. I only wanted to choose a mate on my terms. Not for power or control, but because I found someone I cared about.”
Most females chose their males because the match made practical sense for their girdack aspirations, either through family connections or physical attributes. Or, in my case, because I was a stubborn ass who could be easily manipulated. I liked that Ambrey didn’t fall into any of those categories.
“Not that I’m judging, but how do you plan on finding someone when you avoid everyone?”
She tilted her head and studied me for a moment.
“I don’t know. Maybe I’ll give into the descent and go back.”
“Maybe you won’t need to.”
She arched a brow at me. “Go on.”
I took a calming breath determined to try to play it cool.
“We seem to want the same thing. To find someone we can actually care about. Maybe we should consider each other?”
“Rogan, I know you’d be the answer for me. I already like you. You don’t want to go back to following the girdack ways and seem unbothered by the prospect of never seeing your parents again. We fit well that way. But, you don’t know me. You don’t know the things I’m capable of doing. Bull and what he did to Will and Denz and Zepher? That’s my fault.
“After everyone left that night, I broke his arm clean through the skin then licked the bone. Not because I couldn’t help myself and wanted a taste, but because he needed to know I was the power here. He needed the lesson. However, it backfired. Instead of instilling fear and respect for my power, he reacted as if I’d issued a challenge.”
She sighed heavily.
“I’m not rejecting your proposition. But, I need you to take time and think about what you’re offering me and what I can give back.” She stood slowly. “I need to check on Will and Denz. Maybe afterward we can watch some TV?”
I nodded, staying on the couch instead of pushing further because I could see she needed time. Not me. I watched her leave, already knowing I’d get my way.
She was willing to take me as her own, but didn’t think that was a good choice for me. That she was looking out for my interests just made me want her more. And, honestly, I couldn’t think of a reason to deny myself what I’d wanted since the moment she threw her first rock. If my mom were here, she’d tell me to run Ambrey—that name was so much better than Tink—down and beg her to accept me on the spot. Dad would say the same. Neither would care that they wouldn’t see me again as long as they knew I was well-mated. And, I couldn’t get any more well-mated than to a female six years into her descent and wasn’t killing everyone in sight.
Ambrey was strong and special. Not just because of what she’d done but because of her attitude toward the girdack and power. Females didn’t turn their back on power. They fought for more because what they had was never enough. Even my mom, who I knew loved me, had bowed to the Lutha’s wishes in order to keep her place and position. I didn’t blame her or harbor resentment. It was the way of our life. Until now.
Tink had created something unique here. Something I’d wanted to be a part of before I knew what it was.
I leaned back against the couch, relaxing as I imagined a future with Ambrey. We’d stay here. Right in this apartment, for now, and she’d teach me to become part of her human girdack community. Once she rounded with our first child, we’d look for a bigger place in this neighborhood. Our children would grow up with human children and learn different values. Honesty. Loyalty. Equality. It would be…perfect.
“Did you fall asleep?” Ambrey asked.
“Not a chance,” I said, opening my eyes.
She stood in the doorway, hesitancy in her eyes. I loved that about her. The way she looked so sweet and soft on the outside, but was everything else on the inside. Need coursed through me, and I sat up and patted the cushion next to me.
“How are Will and Denz?” I
asked.
She didn’t move from the door.
“Fine, I guess. Shay’s at the hospital with Denz, and Will’s mom is there too. They both have lacerations and concussions. No fractures. But no one will say anything definitive until they wake up. Nothing to do but wait and see.”
She glanced back at the hall and open door.
“Did you still want to watch TV?” I asked.
She exhaled slowly. “Maybe I better not. I’m having a hard time, Rogan. And I really want to keep my promise and not force anything.”
I grinned and stood. Crossing the room, I closed the apartment door then turned to her.
“You won’t be forcing a thing.”
TINK
Oh the things he did to me. That slow prowl across the room…the way his shirtless chest looked in the dim living room light…his scent. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply.
I was done fighting. Done resisting the attraction I felt for him. My pulse started to race, and my skin heated.
And when you do, choose well.
“Rogan, will you accept me as your mate until the end of both our lives?” I asked, opening my eyes and meeting his gaze.
“Yes.” He reached out and touched my cheek.
Desire slapped me. Everything about him compelled me to hurry. To stake my claim. I turned my head and bit him hard enough to draw blood. His coppery flavor was in my mouth before I realized what I’d done.
“I’m so sorry,” I said, pulling back.
He grinned wickedly and stepped closer.
“I’m not. I like the feel of your teeth on me. Well, there. I might not like the biting so much elsewhere.”
I laughed and some of the tension eased from me. He lifted his hand and cupped the back of my head.
“You are adorably sexy with your hair in a bun,” he said as he closed the distant between us.
He leaned down and ran his tongue over my lips. The taste of him made my need spike, and I clenched my hands until my nails bit into my skin. I wanted to burry my fingers in his hair and make him kiss me like I wanted. Hard and fast. Instead, I stood still and let him take his time as his traced my mouth with his tongue.
