by Bryan Smith
I should’ve killed her when I had the chance.
He remembered how supple, how yielding, her flesh had felt beneath the pressure of the blade. Parting that flesh would be no more difficult than carving a Thanksgiving turkey. The idea repulsed him, the notion of murdering a woman, but now he wondered whether his ingrained chivalry might really desert him should he again have her at his mercy. Maybe things would happen another way.
He thought about it some more.
He also thought some more about the ballgag in his mouth.
And he struck the “maybe” prevarication from the thought.
Eddie’s heart lurched as she leaned over him. Her lips parted and she ran her tongue slowly along the edge of her teeth. Her nostrils flared. She looked more like a hungry lioness than something as mundane as a woman with a mean streak. She reached behind his head and the snaps fastening the leather straps about his head came away. Eddie experienced an absurd wave of gratitude toward her. He drew in deep lungfuls of air, suddenly, blessedly able to breathe properly again. Christ, he was practically ready to nominate her for sainthood for these things alone.
Giselle showed him the piece of stationery from the pad.
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His heart went momentarily still at the words written there.
I KNOW YOU BETTER THAN YOU KNOW YOURSELF it read.
Now Eddie’s heart was racing.
THIS IS WHAT YOU’VE ALWAYS WANTED.
She cast the note aside.
“No,” he breathed-and heard the lack of conviction in his voice.
She smiled.
And patted his cheek.
Then she climbed onto the bed, got carefully to her feet, and leered down at Eddie.
Jesus, he thought.
Here we go again.
His gaze shifted from the oddly sympathetic set of her features to her shoes. He didn’t like the way they deeply indented the mattress. At least they weren’t stiletto heels. She shifted a leg and placed the cold sole of one shoe on his chest. There was almost no pressure. She maintained perfect balance and a light touch for an amazing stretch of time.
Then the pressure increased a little.
And a little more.
The heel gouged his flesh and Eddie cried out.
She suddenly applied her full weight to him. His face contorted with agony. She was standing on him now with both feet.
Then she was stepping forward.
Walking on him.
The flat sole of one shoe touched his left cheek and
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drove his head sideways, and the heel dug into the soft flesh at the base of his throat.
Eddie saw the note on the floor, its message a condemnation.
THIS IS WHAT YOU’VE ALWAYS WANTED.
To his dismay, he found he couldn’t immediately answer the question that came to mind: Is it?
Oh my God … is it?
The pressure on his face increased again.
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Dream was scared. She marveled for a moment at the spectacular irony of the notion, but it was without doubt the absolute truth. Here she was, a person committed to ending her life before the next sunrise, and she was scared. Except that maybe “scared” didn’t quite convey the depth of what she was feeling. Scared was how you felt when you were sitting in a darkened movie theater watching a good horror movie. The word implied a degree of detachment from the source of the fear. Maybe the movie would wig you out a little, but it would end soon enough, the lights would come on, and you would soon emerge into the warmth of the sun.
No, this was a sick, creeping sensation of enervating terror. It drained every bit of remaining strength and left her feeling ill. She gripped the Accord’s steering wheel harder to still the trembling in her arms. “Guys, I’ve gotta stop.”
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Alicia’s eyes narrowed with concern. “You okay?”
Dream gave her head an emphatic shake. She twisted the steering wheel and the Accord swerved to the shoulder. She parked the car, opened the door, and leaned over to be sick. Her stomach spasmed, and she retched up a thin stream of acid. There was nothing in her stomach to throw up, but she was helpless to quell the spasms for a time. When they at last subsided, she pulled the door shut and settled back into her seat.
“Jesus, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry”
Alicia was looking at her the way a nurse might regard a seriously ill patient. “Oh, hush.” She cupped a hand behind Dream’s neck. “It got to you, that’s all.”
Meaning the image of Shane’s slashed body.
Well, it was a feasible explanation. The memory was gruesome enough to trigger nausea. Still, it wasn’t the true reason for her sickness, and she was about to say so when Karen started talking.
“Please.” There was an uncharacteristic caustic quality in her voice. “I love both of you, but don’t offend me with this shit. Neither of you were ever members of the Shane Wallace fan club.”
Alicia protested. “The fuck does that have to do with it? Nada, that’s what. Not a goddamn thing. We’re human beings, girl, and our personal feelings go out the fucking window when something like that happens to another human being.”
Karen huffed. “Whatever. I only bring it up now to make a point. Dream’s not upset by what happened back there-” She jerked a thumb over her shoulder. “She’s upset by what’s happening right now.”
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There was a long moment of silence. The tension was stifling. Dream’s only point of comparison to the atmosphere in the car was the first stilted conversation she had with Dan after finding him in the arms of that… man. The short exchange had been the most awkward moment of her life.
But this moment ranked a close second.
Dream sighed. “She’s right.”
Karen said, “No shit.”
Alicia sniffed. “Well, damn, I guess I’m just a dumb-ass bitch, ‘cause I don’t know what the hell y’all are talkin’ about.” Her hand came away from Dream’s neck. “So maybe one of you should spell it out for my clueless black ass.”
Dream looked at Alicia. “How far do you think we’ve come since we left the interstate?”
Alicia shrugged. “Ten miles? Maybe a little more?”
Dream shook her head. “Try more than twenty.”
She let the information sink in for a moment before continuing. “And when was the last time you drove this far off an interstate exit without seeing an Exxon or a Holiday Inn? Even in a sparsely populated area there ought to be something. A mom-and-pop motel, a general store where you can buy gas and live bait, something.” She paused and noticed the way Alicia’s attention was riveted to her now. “But there’s been nothing, and I do mean nothing. There haven’t been any other cars. There haven’t been any road signs, either. No road signs. No billboards. Nothing.”
There was another moment of silence. An oppressive silence. They could almost feel the night closing in around them. Alicia’s voice was uncharacteristically shrill when
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she said, “So what are you saying?” There was some anger in her voice, but there was also something very much like the beginning of real fear. “Because you can’t be saying what I think you’re saying.”
Karen laughed without humor. “You bet your ass she is.”
Alicia chortled. “So that was exit 666 back there, huh? We’ve driven off into another dimension.” Another pause; another disdainful chuckle. “Bullshit! That wasn’t the Tennessee portal to the Bermuda goddamn Triangle! You’re both letting your stressed-out imaginations get the better of you.”
“Nobody’s getting worked up, Alicia.” Dream spoke in measured, calm tones. “All I’m saying is, we’re lost in a very rural area. We’ve got maybe a quarter tank of gas. A little less, actually. I don’t know about either of you, but the thought of being stranded out here for the night scares the shit out of me.”
Alicia seemed to relax now that one of her friends was sounding sane again. “Look …” She sighed. “I bet the gas
will hold out long enough to get us to help. A quarter tank will get us, what, another forty to fifty miles down the road?” She laughed. “I can’t imagine all this nothing going on another fifty goddamn miles. Can you?”
Dream didn’t want to imagine that. “No.” She shook her head and released a shuddering sigh. “Definitely not.”
Karen snorted. “Nice cop-out, Dream. Well, little Ms. Diplomacy, you’ll have to excuse me, but my own humble opinion is that we’re fucked.”
Alicia rolled her eyes at Dream, a conspiratorial gleam there. Dream didn’t acknowledge the expression beyond a subtle shrug. She didn’t want to rock the boat, not when
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she believed steady and reliable Alicia was the crucial linchpin keeping them afloat. But she secretly sided with her other friend.
Something wasn’t right out here.
Something unnatural.
Alicia, however, was a confirmed skeptic. She was unable to keep the snide tone out of her voice when she said, “And your opinion has been duly noted, dear.” She winked at Dream. “But I think we should press on now. You up to driving, Dream?”
Dream wasn’t at all sure about that-her stomach still did a little flutter every few seconds-but she didn’t want to relinquish control of her own car to anybody else. The feel of the wheel beneath her hands was the only thing keeping her tethered to reality.
“Yes.” The word was a barely audible hiss.
Alicia squinted at her. “You sure?”
Dream answered by twisting the key in the ignition, putting the car in gear, and pulling away from the shoulder of the road. She put the accelerator to the floor for a moment and quickly achieved a good escape velocity. She eased off the pedal after the Accord screeched around a hairpin turn. Karen, who wasn’t buckled in, swayed from one side of the car to the other.
Alicia said, “Jesus Christ, girl!”
Karen groaned. “Damn, Dream, who’d you bribe at the DMV to get your license?”
Dream felt another surge of embarrassment. “Sorry, guys.” There was a plaintive tone in her voice, an unspoken plea that they not be too mad at her. “I’m just a little jumpy, I guess.”
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Alicia shook her head and rubbed at red-rimmed eyes. “Ain’t we all?”
They drove on without speaking for a while. The swooping road traced the winding curve of a mountain. The air was getting thinner, making their ears pop. Dream put on the Accord’s brights each time they neared a particularly hazardous loop of road, always cutting off the high beam after just a moment or two for fear of blinding the drivers of cars coming from the opposite direction.
Dream tried not to think about how pointless the precaution was becoming.
They had the dark mountain road to themselves.
Alicia cleared her throat. “Sorry to dredge this subject up yet again, but you guys have to see my point by now.”
Her voice sounded cheerier than it had for some time. Something about Alicia’s lighthearted tone disturbed Dream, something that hinted of a growing, quiet desperation.
She was careful with her response. “What… do you mean?”
“This.” A wave of her hand made it clear she was talking about something outside the car, and her tone indicated what she meant should be obvious. “All this.”
Dream frowned. “Um …”Whatever was so apparent to Alicia remained a mystery to her. “Alicia, I don’t get it.”
Karen said, “Ditto.”
Alicia made a sound of exasperation. “Jesus, are you both blind?” She rolled her eyes. “The road. Look at it. That’s asphalt. Those yellow stripes running down the middle, one solid, one broken at regular intervals, those are paint.”
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And this, Dream thought, is a study in condescension. “No kidding. Your point?”
Another roll of the eyes. “No need to be snide, Dream. I’m only trying to point out the good news all around us.”
Karen erupted. “Stop talking in goddamn circles!”
Alicia winced. “I’m not-“
“Yes, you are,” Karen continued, quieter now. “And not so long ago you were the one wanting things spelled out for you in big block letters. Please, I’m begging you, show us the same courtesy, because we don’t know what you’re babbling about.”
A look of hurt flashed across Alicia’s face. “I’m giving you something solid to focus on, something we should all find reassuring.” She nodded at the road. “This road was paved by men. A road crew working a government contract. That paint was put down by man-operated machines. Same with the guardrails.” She flashed a grin at Dream. “Can you see the state of Tennessee making room in its budget to pave the road to hell?” A laugh, vaguely derisive, stuttered out of her mouth. “I think not.”
It sounded good. Alicia’s argument was a sensible one. But the road kept unfurling before them, a faded gray ribbon walled in on both sides by dense stretches of forest, and the absence of fellow travelers out here in the mountain darkness remained ominous.
Karen said, “Shouldn’t we have run into Chad by now?”
Dream gasped. “Oh, shit. You’re right.”
She’d been so wrapped up in their immediate dilemma she’d forgotten about her suddenly estranged friend, but now awareness of his absence ratcheted up the fear consuming her yet another excruciating notch.
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Alicia stiffened beside her, but she didn’t say anything. The stark fact of his disappearance seemed to disturb her into silence. Understandable. Despite everything-the betrayals and harsh words exchanged-Dream found herself worried about Chad.
She began to scan the sides of the road more closely.
Looking for a body.
Goddamn you, she thought.
Where are you, Chad?
He wouldn’t have returned to the interstate, not with the prospect of a hotel room and a bed tempting them all in the other direction. He was on foot, so they should have seen him already. Maybe whatever had gotten to Shane had gotten to him. Dream thought of the scrawny boy he’d been when she rescued him from the clutches of those jock assholes. He wasn’t much bigger now. compared to Shane, who’d been big indeed, he was a human toothpick.
The image of Shane’s ravaged body came to her again.
She tried not to cry.
She might have been sick again, but a flash of inspiration drove the unpleasant images from her head. She pressed the radio’s power button, turned up the volume, and said, “Karen, you grew up around here. In the area we think we’re in, I mean. Can you remember which radio station had the clearest, most powerful signal?”
Karen didn’t hesitate. “Rock 106, if it’s still around-106.7.”
Dream tuned the radio to the frequency, turned the volume up some more, and said, “So right about now Metallica ought to be piercing our eardrums.”
“Yeah.”
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Alicia said, “Girl hasn’t lived here in ten years. The goddamn radio station probably isn’t on the air anymore.”
Dream put the radio on scan. “Watch.”
The digital display moved from one end of the spectrum to the other. Then again. And again. There was nothing to lock on. No static. No faintly heard signal. Dream turned it off. “What do you make of that, Alicia?”
Alicia shrugged. “It’s obviously defective.”
Dream groaned inwardly.
Pull your head out of the fucking sand, she thought.
She said, “It’s not defective. And the radio was on before we left the interstate.” She wasn’t arguing anymore, was just stating irrefutable facts, and her voice had grown quiet. She was scaring herself. “And we should’ve seen Chad.”
Alicia pursed her lips. Her brow furrowed. She sighed. “Look, I’m not conceding anything here. There’re reasonable explanations for everything going on.”
Karen laughed. “You bet, Scully.”
“You didn’t let me finish.” Dream, who had been slightly annoyed with her friend’s oblivious atti
tude, detected a return of reason in her tone now. “Yes, I’m a skeptic. That said, I think enough is enough. We should turn around and head back to the interstate. We’re not accomplishing anything by staying out here and freaking each other out.”
Dream glanced at the fuel gauge. “That’s not an option anymore.”
The needle was already at a dangerously low level, and it dipped a little lower as she looked at it. Another increment lower and they would be running on fumes.
Alicia leaned over to have a look. Concern-and
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maybe the beginnings of true panic-creased her brow. “Aw, shit.”
Karen groaned. “We’re about to be stranded, aren’t we?”
Alicia settled back in her seat. “Shit, shit, shit.”
“This can’t be happening.” Karen’s voice edged closer to a whine. “Why isn’t there anything at all out here?”
Dream put the Accord’s brights on again and took the car around another curve. The smooth glide of tires on paved road came to an abrupt end, and they were jouncing up and down in their seats as the car rumbled over the ruts of a dirt road. The road still wound through dense stands of trees, but the darkness was no longer quite so impenetrable.
The car’s interior resounded with gasps and shouts.
Dream detected a twinkle of light through the trees.
She cleared her throat. “Hey, guys-“
“Turn us around!” Karen yelled. “Fuck getting us back to the interstate-just get us the hell out of here.”
But Dream took the car around another bend in the road, and the light through the trees grew brighter. The road rose around the mountain at a steep angle, and when they entered a straightaway, they saw a gleam in the middle of a large clearing, barely visible over a hill. Dream pushed the accelerator to the floor again, and the car held steady on the hardpacked dirt.
Alicia gripped her shoulder. “Dream? What the fuck is wrong with you? Turn us around, or so help me-“
