Beloved Sisters and Loving Friends

by Farah Jasmine Griffin

  Dear Stella you dont know how bad I felt to see you in so much pain and to think I could not do anything to help O my Darling dont eat any more sweet affec for they do not agree with you. I know that I love you [?] I never could feel as I did my sympathize was so great that I had straight pain [?] I often heard [?] but I would not believe them I know by experience.

  Dear Stella do you ever think of our visit last summer? I do very often. Sometime I think its all of dreams what happy days those was will they ever come again. O dont say no. I live in hopes that will be together nothing will separate us but death. While sitting on your lap I had a very thrilling sensation pass through me today. Did the same occur to you [?] I ask you would not tell me. Sister why will you perfer darkness sometime instead of light I suppose you wonder what I mean, well I will tell you. All day I have trying to have you tell me something you would not untill you sleep with me. Why cant you make up that [?] with me dont you think we can love and [?] each other just the same you know my dear just what I mean come let us try. O Dear here come somebody to disturb me [….]

  I am sorry that I cant have you to sleep with me tonight perhaps its all for the best now my Darling Sister I must leave you a little while it 9 am I guess you are thinking about leting you school out I hope you will not [?] I hope you will have pleasant night rest except a kiss good night.

  Your [?] Sister

  Aerthena

  To Stella

  I will never forget thee darling

  Though thou art far from me I’m

  ever of thee thinking my heart

  belongs to thee of thee by day

  I ponder of thee by night I dream

  This world without thee darling

  A lonely place would seem.

  PART THREE

  The Reconstruction Years

  APRIL 1865 brought the end of the Civil War and the assassination of President Lincoln. Not long thereafter, in November, Rebecca Primus left Hartford to teach the freedmen of Maryland. She was twenty-nine years old.1 Primus was one of two black teachers sponsored by the Hartford Freedmen’s Aid Society.2 After an initial stay in Baltimore, she was assigned to Royal Oak, in Talbot County, on the Eastern Shore of Maryland.

  The Eastern Shore was familiar to Primus through the pages of Frederick Douglass’s Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass—An American Slave (1845). While in Royal Oak, she boarded with Mr. and Mrs. Charles Thomas. Thomas, a free black landowner and one of the most committed trustees of the Royal Oak School, purchased his freedom and at one time worked as a horse trainer on the Lloyd plantation, where Douglass once lived.3

  Rebecca stayed in Royal Oak until the Hartford Freedmen’s Aid Society dissolved. She returned to Hartford in 1869. Within three years, Charles Thomas joined her, and they were married.

  Rebecca’s letters are public documents, written primarily to her parents and sisters but with the full understanding that they are sometimes shared with other members of the community. Thus, with the exception of discussions about her health, Rebecca rarely writes about her private life. She speaks often of her love and concern for relatives, friends, and pets. On occasion she refers to her best friend, Addie. In Rebecca’s letters, Addie appears as a loving sister-friend, often mentioned in the same way she speaks of her own sisters, Henrietta and Bell.

  In Hartford, Addie Brown established a network of friends and extended family. Her Connecticut letters provide a vibrant portrait of nineteenth-century black Hartford. Addie shares her frustration over the precarious nature of her employment, negotiations with her employers, and the poor state of her health (she suffered from chronic headaches). She also discusses the family and extended family who help sustain her.

  Throughout her correspondence, three things are consistent: the strength of the bond between herself and Rebecca; the precarious nature of her economic well-being (Addie’s letters document the relative instability of her employment options, her day-to-day struggles to make enough money to survive, and the displacement she experiences as she moves from household to household as a live-in servant); and her never-ending sense of humor in relaying gossip to Rebecca. It is impossible to read Addie’s letters without laughing at her vivid descriptions and tale-telling.

  During the nine years of her correspondence with Rebecca Primus, Addie Brown wrote from almost as many addresses. From Hartford on December 1, 1865, she wrote: “You wonder my dear Sister of my being out I am not at work at present we was discharged last eve no more work the business is dull with them I could cried when he told me though I was sure of work all winter. Rebecca don’t you think my words are true that is this either a feast or a famine.” Again, in February 1866: “Rebecca I have been working for nothing comparatively speaking. Now I have come to a decided stand that people shall pay me for my work.”

  When this phase of the correspondence begins, Addie is twenty- four years old. She works at George Smith’s Dye House on Weld Street in Hartford; the establishment mended, cleaned, and dyed garments. Addie worked there as a seamstress, a rare form of employment for black women, most of whom were relegated to domestic service. Even as domestics, black women found themselves in stiff competition with Irish immigrants. Addie now lives with the Sands family at 12 Wadsworth Street, just down the street from the Primus home. Emily Sands is Rebecca’s maternal aunt. The letters also introduce us to Joseph Tines, Addie’s most persistent suitor—the man she later marries.

  Throughout the years of Reconstruction, both young women come into their own. Rebecca Primus becomes more politicized; she also comes to identify more with southern blacks, for whom she at first has a distanced curiosity. Addie Brown is as fiercely determined and dignified as Rebecca. Her letters defy the stereotypes of black domestics. First of all, she is literate. Though filled with misspellings and poor grammar, her letters reveal the lively, individual voice of a woman who keeps up with current events and seems to read more books than does her more educated friend. As time passes, Addie’s voice grows more confident and self-assured. Her writing improves, and she takes advantage of every opportunity to improve herself and her station in life.

  Chapter Five

  “There is great excitement

  about putting money in the bank”

  1865

  UPON her arrival in Baltimore, Rebecca is immediately struck by the large number of black people: “I guess I have already seen about as many colored people as there are in the whole of Hartford.” In 1860, there were ninety thousand slaves in the state of Maryland; the black community of Baltimore made up approximately thirteen percent of the city’s population. This is in stark contrast to Hartford, where blacks were approximately two percent of the total population. Historian Barbara Fields notes: “Throughout the nineteenth century, the ratio of free to slave among black people rose steadily[in Maryland]. By the eve of the Civil War, free black people were nearly as numerous as slaves.”1 Consequently, the state had a strong and historic black presence. Because the Emancipation Proclamation of 1863 freed slaves only in the Confederate States, slavery wasn’t abolished in Maryland (which remained loyal to the Union) until 1864. Not long after abolition, the state enacted Black Codes, which forbade blacks to testify in court and apprenticed 2,500 children to former slave owners. During the short window of opportunity provided by the Civil War, Maryland’s blacks tried to exercise their citizenship rights before they were taken away by such oppressive laws.

  By the time of Rebecca’s arrival in Baltimore, approximately twenty-five percent of Maryland’s blacks had migrated to the cities of Baltimore and Cambridge.

  During her stay in Maryland, Rebecca would return to Baltimore. It was a stopover when she returned from holidays with her family, the site of an occasional visit to get away from her day-to-day tasks, and a place to touch base with other northern teachers throughout the state. Because these black teachers would not have been welcomed in boardinghouses and inns frequented by whites, black Baltimoreans established a network of residences where blacks were we
lcome.

  Baltimore, Nov. 8, 1865

  My Dear Parents & Sister

  It is now ½ past two o’ck, it was my intention to have devoted this forenoon to writing, but I went away at 9 o’ck to see Mr. Graham & he sent me to assist a white gentleman in one of the schools of freed children here, on account of his being ill, and I only returned a few moments since, though I did not come direct from school, as Mrs. Hall had left word with Mr. Graham to have me call upon her. I did so and had a colored gentleman who is stopping at Mrs. Coopers to conduct me to her boarding house. She wished me to tell you that she had been quite anxious about me for fear I had got lost or met with some difficulty enroute. If I remain here in the city she wants me to call & see her often and she will look out for me. I think I shall like her much.

  I am going to remain here until next week and in the meantime I shall be employed in this school I attended this A.M. They have two sessions a day, the first from 9½ A.M. to ½ past 12 o’ck P.M. The second from 7½ eve’g to 9½ for adults. The school is in a four story building upon the third floor it is fitted up for the purpose, with desks, blackboards etc. Similar to those home, there are four departments and this gentleman is the principal. The others are taught by ladies one of whom is a colored lady—almost white—from Canada. I shall probably be sent to my station some time next week. Mr. Graham says he will secure a good and comfortable place for me. A white gentleman brought in a commission from some other society while I was there and he is to be sent tomorrow A.M. to Cambridge, a hundred miles distant.

  The gentleman I have alluded to above is from Philadelphia, and leaves for a place called Centerville some fifty miles off somewhere near to Miss Howards station. He is a young man and apparently quite smart, he will accompany me around to school this eve’g. I have a pleasant boarding place with a very agreeable family and on a delightful street—it is the rendezvous for the colored teachers under this society.

  I arrived here about ten o’clock in company with a gentleman from Boston whom I spoke with in the cars and asked him to get a carriage for me, he spent the night here and this A.M. continued on his journey to a country place west of this to see his sick mother whom he thought to be dying. The train was delayed, both between N.Y & Phil, and between Phil. & Bal. It was very near twelve yesterday noon when we left Jersey City, and then between Trenton & one other place, the name of which I do not recollect now we got upon the wrong track & came up face to face with a train loaded with coal, so we went back several miles so as to switch off upon the right track, which delayed us from twenty minutes to half an hour, we arrived at Kensington the upper part of Philadelphia at about four o’ck then all the passengers for Baltimore and Wash’g took the horse cars and was conveyed to the opposite side of the city to the southern depot time—one hour—at five or fifteen minutes after again started on the Southern train & such flying over the ground I never before experienced, the train was obliged to make up for lost time. There are seventeen stopping places between Phil. & Baltimore we stopped at two thirds of them. I had the company of a gentleman friend of Mr. Tines as far as Phil, who was very kind to me & with whom I shared my lunch as he had none. We reached Baltimore at nine or a little after. We took a carriage & we had another time flying over the paved streets for two or three miles, I was so frightened I could think of nothing for I expected we should be dashed to pieces every moment. Oh I hope I shall never experience another such a ride. Our baggage came by express the A.M. the conductor takes you check in the cars with the place you are to stop at, & gives you the express man’s card with the number of your checks upon it, otherwise you can not obtain you baggage so soon—sometimes for two or three days. I feel very thankful to know & think I have arrived here safely & with all that belongs to me. It is 96 miles from N.Y. to Phil. & from Phil, to Baltimore the distance is 100 miles.

  It is beautiful here today & quite mild. I have been a long distance from my boarding place & returned alone & I guess I have already seen about as many colored people as there are in the whole of Hartford.

  My expenses from N.Y. have been as follows—on the cars $6.65 carriage 30¢ & for baggage 50¢ on the boat $2.00 & from the boat to Jersey City 15 for baggage. Please write upon the receipt of this that I may receive it ere I leave for other ports. Give my love to all—I find I’ve brought away one of the keys to the Front door so if I should return unexpectedly & it should come at night or when you were all out I should have no trouble in getting in. I am sorry I’ve got it for I know you’ll need it.

  I retired at twelve last night and got up at eight this A.M. I shall not be up so late tonight I’ll assure you. I must get some rest if possible though I do not feel so very fatigued after all. Accept my love to your selves and direct your letters to 184 Park St. near Richmond.

  From your affectionate

  daughter & sister

  Rebecca

  This is Addie’s first letter after her extended separation from Rebecca. It is also the first to mention Mr. Tines—the gentleman Addie will eventually marry. She seems to have known him since her childhood in Philadelphia. In Rebecca’s absence, she also seems to have the space to consider a serious relationship with Tines, although it is clear that her affection for him in no way competes with her love for Rebecca. Rebecca’s family and friends recognize the closeness of the relationship between the two women and seem to treat Addie’s emotional response to Rebecca’s departure as a girlhood crush.2

  Hartford Nov. 8, 1865 8 oclock P.M.

  My Dearest & Absent Sister

  What a surprise I rec when I return home from my work this eve its impossible for me to express my feelings to you. I am delighted that you got as far as NY safe and I trust to God that you will get to your place of destination safe and quite well. How I have miss you I have lost all no more pleasure for me now Aunt Emily ask me last eve if I was going to carry that sober face until you return she also said if Mr. T[ines] was to see me think that I care more for you then I did for him I told I did love you more then I ever would him she said I better not tell him so it would be the truth and [?] else. Monday night when we came pass the house it look like someone was dead. Belle was not home she went up to Ms Davis after she came from the boat her beau accompany her I went in the house tonight for the first you mother said she did know but that I had [?] she said I must come in and not feel that all was gone because you had [….]

  Addie

  Addie expresses a desire to visit Rebecca. While she writes of trips to New Haven, New York, and Philadelphia, it does not seem Addie ever receives an invitation or the gift of a trip that she constantly requests from Rebecca. Also, in this letter Addie mentions her brother and his request that she return to New York for Thanksgiving. After this she appears to be estranged from her extended family in New York. Selina is the only one with whom she seems to stay in contact.

  Addie shares information about the Hartford black community’s preparation for the return of the Twenty-ninth Regiment. The Twenty- ninth was one of two black regiments from Connecticut, the source of much pride for Hartford’s black residents.

  Nov. 10, 7 P.M.

  My Own Darling Sister

  I was delighted when I rec your affectionate letter I hardly[expected] until tomorrow my heart feel quite light now I am please to know that you have arrived safe.

  Rebecca I am very lonely ever will be untill you return or I come to you. Dear Sister when ever you sent for me I shall come nothing will prevent but sickness.

  I suppose you would like to know how I get along. Very Well. Yesterday they set me to put numbers on the things it took a hour. I done it so well I had to do it again today. Mr. Smith gave some of them a shame face the case that they keep the vent in was a inch thick with dust he ask me if I would clean it for him he called me Miss Brown he seem to be quite please with my work. This P.M. I have been working on blankets I had quite a little rest. I have not been out since you have left me Aunt Emily ask me if I was going to meeting last Eve my headache I did not feel li
ke it.

  I dread Sunday to come. I got a letter from Mr. Tines this P.M. he said I must be sure and come down to the boat Sunday. I have not seen him since Monday when he vowed to me. He says I must not worry to much best of friends must part how can I help it [?] No one feel as I about you and never will.

  I have heard today that Mr. Green is under arrest they think that he will recover his poor daughter must feel bad seem to me I never would want to see him. Henrietta was telling me today that the colored ladies & gent had a ball at Talcott Hall night before last they are going to have them ever once in awhile [….]

  I red’d a letter from Ally Brown last eve he has been very sick again he wanted me to come down to NY Thanksgiving. He wants to have us all together once more Selina expect to get married in the Spring. I do not know who to ans the letter you know what way I don’t expect to see NY untill you say come. Thomas Sands is in NY sick. He got his discharge as soon as he gets able he will return home here to his parents.

  The 29 Regiment expected home tomorrow in the city of Hartford. They will be a many rejoice hearts. Aunt Em is[going to] go and receive them [….] They had a vacation to Mrs. Bruce house today sold everything they could even to old shoes and old bonnets. Mrs. Primus and Sands attend it the latter pay […] got some preserves dishes and something else I forgot [….] Dear Sister I want you to get this as soon as you can I am going to mail it myself so I must close for it will bee too late for me to go do my love write soon again at the sme place they have all my love & affection accept as many kiss as you can get if I could get near you I would give you a good hug. I remain your loving

  Sister Addie

  The following experience at the dye house is a rare and cherished one for Addie. Few black women worked outside of domestic service and even fewer were addressed as “Miss” by their white employers. This is one of the only job situations that seems to have boosted her sense of self.