by Julie Miller
“Doc.” He acknowledged them both with a half smile. “Professor Norwood.”
“Excuse me, son. We’re having a private conversation here.”
Son? Curt couldn’t have provided a more tangible reminder as to why she shouldn’t be having these feelings—any feelings—for Josh.
“I won’t be long,” he answered without batting an eye at Curt’s dismissive tone. He turned that casual, heart-stopping grin directly on her. “I just wanted to stop by and let you know I got your car fixed.”
“But I have the keys. How did you…?”
“I called a friend with a tow truck. We replaced the valve stem and reinflated your tire. He didn’t seem to think there was anything wrong with the tire itself.”
He’d kept his promise. No, he’d gone out of his way to keep his promise.
“You called a tow truck? You shouldn’t have.” Rachel twisted around on her seat, trying to reach her bag, which she’d looped over the back of the chair. “How much do I owe you?”
He touched her elbow and stilled her search. “Nothing.”
“Josh.” The call alone could cost twenty or thirty dollars—extra money that most college students wouldn’t have on hand. Not to mention parts and labor. “That’s too much.”
She braced her hands on the table and chair, hooked her heel around the bottom and pushed herself up, reversing the comical process of sitting down. But this time, Josh’s big hand snagged her beneath the elbow, offering balance and support, allowing her to climb down gracefully.
“Rachel.” Curt stood, as well, moving a step closer, clearly eyeing Josh’s hand where it lingered on her arm. “We need to finish our talk.”
Without calling attention to it, she pulled her arm from Josh’s grasp and reached for her coat. But his chivalry would not be denied. He took the coat and held it open for her. Choosing practicality over decorum, she turned and let him help her wrap up to face the cold weather.
Curt’s washed-out gaze seemed to take note of her every movement. Shrugging into her coat. Pulling on her gloves and hat. Taking her bag from Josh and smiling her thanks. She threw back the same compassion he’d shown for Kevin. “Call and make an appointment. I have business I need to take care of and then a counseling session.”
“Rache—”
“Old friend or not, you won’t change my mind.” Not about reporting David Brown, not about marrying for the sake of the baby or her reputation, not about leaving with Josh Tanner right now. “Goodbye, Curt. We’ll talk soon.”
“Bye, Dr. Norwood.” Josh added a more cheerful farewell and followed her to the door.
She felt the brush of his fingertips at the small of her back as he opened the door for her and ushered her outside. Rachel hunched her shoulders against the blast of cold air. Automatically, Josh wrapped his arm around her shoulders and snugged her to his side. The man was a living, breathing furnace, and for a few moments, she let herself savor the good smells and sheltering warmth that surrounded her.
But then she noticed the other people on the sidewalk. Whether they wore suits for work or jeans for school, the men and women cuddling together for warmth against the damp, frigid air were all the same. Couples. Deep in conversation or exchanging silent looks or bravely moving forward together—the pattern was the same.
Man and woman. Boyfriend, girlfriend. Husband, wife. Lovers.
With her nose turned into his coat to protect it from the bite of wind, and his arm falling possessively around her back, she and Josh could pass for a couple. Despite the difference in their ages, certainly no one would mistake them for mother and son. And with her obviously pregnant belly leading the way… What if someone thought that she and Josh…?
Rachel shrugged off his arm and stepped to the side, putting a good foot of space between them. “Maybe you’d better not do that. Someone might misinterpret your actions.”
“Someone?” She couldn’t tell if Josh’s snort was one of frustration or a testament to the wintry air hitting his lungs. “You mean Dr. Norwood?”
She recognized his cherry-red pickup from the night before, parked a couple of vehicles away. “I mean anyone.” Without Josh to shield her, the wind whipped her coat around her legs and chilled her through and through. She appreciated his gallantry, but he had to understand her situation. “Look. This is a tricky time for me at work right now. The dean is more excited about my replacement while I’m on maternity leave than he is about naming a new assistant dean.”
“They’re going to replace you?”
“Temporarily.” She kept saying the word, but she was starting to feel like someone was trying to get rid of her permanently. “At any rate, I can’t afford any hint of scandal right now.”
“Putting my arm around you is scandalous?” They’d reached his truck, but she couldn’t read his face as he stretched in front of her to unlock the passenger door, so she couldn’t tell if he was offended or making a joke.
She appealed to his sense of reason to make herself clear. “The fact that I’m pregnant and I haven’t told anyone who the father is, raises suspicion. Everyone from the dean down to the building custodian has speculated about the father’s identity. If they see you and me being friendly, then a natural conclusion might be that you and I, a student and a professor—”
He turned to face her, startling her with the intensity of his bright-blue eyes. “—slept together?”
Even as the north wind swirled beneath her coat, Rachel grew hot. The very idea. She and Josh…in bed. An unbidden image sprang into her rational mind. Josh—golden and naked, gloriously aroused—rolling her beneath him and taking her with all the power and tenderness of a knight, home from a dangerous quest, claiming the love of the lady he adored. She swallowed hard, choking down the lump that rose in her throat at the erotic, romantic image.
“Yes.” Her voice was barely a squeak. She put her fist to her lips and coughed. With a stronger voice she added, “Yes. Someone might think we share more than a student–teacher relationship.”
He opened the door and reached out to help her inside. With outstretched fingers, he waited patiently for her to take his hand. “Scandalous or not, I’m not going to have you fall and hit the sidewalk.”
That said, she laid her red-gloved hand in the middle of his black-gloved palm and used his strength to step up inside the truck. “Thank you.”
He pulled up the seat belt and handed it to her. “Why don’t you just tell the dean who the father is—even if it didn’t work out between you—and end the speculation?”
Sitting up high like this put her at eye level with Josh. She looked deep into his eyes, willing him to understand. “It’s not that simple.”
He studied her without a glimmer of comprehension, but with something more like disapproval or disbelief stamped across his clean-shaven features. Then he closed the door and circled the truck. He climbed in behind the wheel and started the engine and the heater before asking a pointed question.
“You do know who the father is? Right, Doc?”
“Sort of.”
He squeezed the steering wheel in a grip tight enough to snap it in two, before turning his skeptical expression on her. “I don’t believe for one minute that you’re the type of woman who has so many lovers she can’t keep track of them all.”
She pulled her shoulders back, affronted by the accusation. “I’m not.”
“Then, you’re protecting someone. A married man?”
“No.”
“Someone on the faculty?”
“No!”
“Another student—?”
“A sperm bank!” She pressed her fist to her mouth, feeling as if she had somehow betrayed her baby by sharing their secret. She hugged her arms around her belly and whispered in apology. “I was artificially inseminated at a sperm bank.”
Josh’s breath rushed out along with hers, the anger of accusation and defense spent between them. “Why don’t you tell them that?”
“Because it’s none of
their business. It’s none of yours, either. But I need you to understand why you can’t keep coming to my rescue, or touch me—no matter how impersonal it is. Someone might think that you—” she pointed to her swollen belly “—that you’re the father.”
He nodded, conceding her point but saying nothing.
“Now do you understand my concerns about improper conduct? You’ve been a good Samaritan to me, and for that I’m grateful. But it can’t be anything more. Once you drop me off at my car and I give you a check, I don’t expect to see you again. Except in class.”
He threw the truck into gear, glanced over his shoulder and pulled into traffic. “It’s not all impersonal, Doc.”
She thought the matter was settled. “What’s not?”
“You’re gonna tell me you don’t feel this connection between us?”
“What connection are you talking about?” Lusty animal attraction? She hoped not. It had better be something like You’ve inspired me to become a teacher, or My bruised ribs give me an empathy for the pains a woman must experience during pregnancy.
She wasn’t expecting “Something spooked you back at the coffee house. You were shaking.”
“I was not.” She knew it was a lie, but she didn’t want him to make this point.
“You turned to me.” His eyes stayed focused on the road and the traffic. “You had another man sitting at the table with you, yet you sought me out of the crowd.”
“I—”
He stopped the truck at a light and looked at her with eyes that dared her to contradict. “You connected with me.”
Oh God. He felt it, too. But he shouldn’t. This wasn’t right. They shouldn’t feel anything for each other.
Momentary panic fueled her blood pressure, and the baby chose that moment to shift. Rachel seized the opportunity to tear her gaze from those compelling blue eyes and adjusted her posture in the seat. She pretended not to understand what he was talking about. “Having all those pretty young coeds throwing themselves at you has given you an oversize ego, Mr. Tanner.”
She purposely used his surname, avoiding the intimacy of being on a first-name basis.
The light changed and he turned his attention back to driving. Instead of defending himself or calling her a liar, he asked, “So what spooked you?”
She rode for several blocks in silence, watching the bare, dark trees, speckled with patches of snow that had settled into each fork and cranny and on each horizontal limb. A black and white, colorless world, broken only by dirty winter vehicles and gray, concrete buildings. It all looked about as bleak and unfriendly and devoid of color as her own world these past twenty-four hours.
Except for Josh.
And whether sharing her fears with him was appropriate or not, the same stark chill that had rippled down her spine at the coffee house assailed her again. Josh Tanner might be the only friendly face who could understand her paranoia.
“I felt like someone was watching me. It felt…unnerving.” She dared a look at Josh’s profile to gauge his reaction. “Maybe David Brown is following me.”
“I looked around. I didn’t see him.” To her surprise, he reached across the seat and squeezed her hand. He held on when she tried to pull away. Rachel decided to relax in his grip and accept the comfort he offered. Comfort wasn’t against the rules. The other feelings—longing, lust—were off-limits. But comfort was okay. And Josh Tanner had that in abundant supply.
“It plays with your head, doesn’t it,” he went on. “When you feel someone’s watching your every move? Silently judging you?”
His understanding surprised her. Almost any other college student would have thought she was a kook. She clung to his fingers, grateful to hear someone put into words what she’d been feeling. “I’m just a silly pregnant woman, I guess. All those extra vitamins I’m taking have made me paranoid.”
He didn’t laugh at her weak attempt at humor. “Don’t discount your intuition. Could there be anyone else who might be following you? Maybe for a legitimate reason? A courier? A student with a question about despondent youth?”
Only one person had any reason to follow her. Only one. She pulled away and gently rubbed her belly, silently reaffirming her promise to protect her little girl.
Josh’s gaze followed the movement. “You’re a woman with a lot of secrets, Doc.”
“No, I’m not.” Her wistful sigh bespoke her gratitude as well as her regret. “You’re just not the person I can share them with.”
She had the feeling of having come full circle, both literally and emotionally, as Josh pulled into the faculty parking lot. “Here we are.”
He parked his truck right behind her Buick and set his blinkers, since all the parking stalls were full. True to the manners his mother had taught him, he swung his long legs out of the truck and hurried around to open her door and help her climb down from her perch.
Her car looked as if last night’s flat tire and scuffle had never happened. Josh walked around the perimeter of the car with her, explaining what his friend Freddie had repaired, including a couple of scratches on which he’d used touch-up paint. “One of us might have dinged it with a belt buckle or a zipper from our coats.”
Rachel smiled. “I’m just glad no one was seriously hurt.” Embarrassed she hadn’t checked sooner, she asked, “Your ribs aren’t serious, are they? Did you get an X-ray?”
He nodded. “Nothing but a big, nasty bruise.”
She set her leather pouch on the trunk of the car and dug down to the bottom to retrieve her wallet. Ignoring Josh’s protests, she quickly dashed off a check for fifty dollars and handed it to him. “Here.”
“Doc—”
“Make sure your friend gets paid. If there’s anything left, you can put it toward your tuition.”
Reluctantly, he folded the check in half and stuffed it into his back pocket. “All right. I’ll pass it along to Freddie. Make sure you have an escort walk you to your car when you leave. Especially if you’re working late again tonight.”
She replaced her wallet and slung her bag over her shoulder. “I will.”
“All right, then. I guess this is…well…goodbye. I mean, until class tomorrow.”
Rachel extended her hand. “Goodbye.”
He eyed her gloved hand for a moment, then swallowed it up in his big paw. “Bye, Doc.”
He held her hand longer than was necessary. Long enough to turn their handshake into something secretly intimate.
Long enough to distract her from the excited shouts that got louder and louder, until the person shouting ran right up to her.
“Dr. Livesay! Dr. Livesay!” Josh stepped back as Lucy Holcomb threw her arms around Rachel’s neck and hugged her tight. The impact knocked her bag off her shoulder and scattered the contents at her feet.
“Lucy.” Rachel pushed the bouncing chestnut curls out of her face and pulled back to study Lucy’s beaming face. “What is it? What’s happened?”
Lucy practically clapped her hands. “I’m pregnant.”
Rachel’s jaw dropped open. The cold air on her tongue reminded her to snap it shut. This was the last thing Lucy needed right now. “Are you sure?”
The girl nodded. “I took one of those home tests this morning. It was positive. We’re going to be pregnant together!”
She braced herself as Lucy launched herself into her arms again. This was the manic side of Lucy’s manic-depressive personality. Rachel patted the girl’s back, unable to find the words to congratulate her. Lucy hadn’t recovered from her recent miscarriage yet. Yesterday, she’d admitted to the ongoing problems she and her boyfriend were having. This wasn’t good. They needed to talk.
Rachel freed herself and gave Lucy her counselor’s smile. “Do you have a few minutes? I think we should talk more about this.”
“Sure. I was on my way to pick up my notes from my last class. I skipped it because I knew I just couldn’t concentrate this morning. But I’ll meet you in your office. Okay?”
“That so
unds great. See you in a few minutes.”
While she watched Lucy dance off toward her classroom, Rachel realized that Josh had come to her rescue yet again by stooping down to retrieve her things. “That’s not news you wanted to hear, I take it?”
“Not at all.” He stood and handed her her bag. “Thanks.”
He still held something in his hand. A paper with writing that was obscured from view by Josh’s long fingers. But as he scanned the paper, the natural humor drained from his expression, and she had an idea which piece of paper it might be. Hadn’t she thrown that thing away? Had she really gotten it out and read it time and again last night when she couldn’t sleep? She’d forgotten that she’d finally had the sense to stuff it, out of sight, into her bag.
When Josh lifted his clear, probing gaze to hers, she knew. “Who’s Daddy?”
Oh God. She snatched the cryptic note from his fingers and stuffed it back in her carry-all. “I’ll thank you to mind your own business.”
“Is that guy for real? Or is it some kind of sick joke?”
“Goodbye, Josh.”
“He as good as said he was going to take your baby.”
“Good. Bye.”
“Doc?”
She emphasized the end of their nonexistent relationship by turning away from him and hurrying toward the sanctuary of her private office.
Letting Josh Tanner share her burden was a luxury she couldn’t afford. Curt Norwood already had his suspicions about her relationship with Josh. Who knew how many others had seen them together and misconstrued the bond between them.
Josh Tanner was not an option.
She needed to deal with Daddy all by herself.
She just wished the idea of all by herself wasn’t such a frightening prospect.
Chapter Seven
Josh slouched on the bench outside the biology lab, waiting for the afternoon session to get out so he could take his undercover assignment to the next level.
Make a buy.
Kevin Washburn had come through for him sooner than he’d expected. The poor kid had been desperate to find a friend this morning. He’d been coming down off whatever high he’d been on. Josh had talked to him the same way he’d calm a frightened animal, and gradually Kevin had opened up. Yeah, he knew a few of the names Josh had dropped into the conversation. Discovering mutual acquaintances had apparently been enough for the young man to put his faith in Josh.
