“No, and thank you.” I couldn’t help myself. Mom had raised me to be polite, and as impolite as she’d been, I still couldn’t bring myself to be rude to her. At least I’d have the chance to stiff her the tip. Okay, maybe I’d just give her five percent, ten percent at most. Okay she’d get the full tip, but I’m going to make a really stern face when I sign for the check.
“Well DD, since you’re paying tonight, would you lead us in prayer?” Janine said calmly.
I nodded. It has become a bit of a tradition for us in the last few months. Whoever buys dinner for the group leads the prayer. In a lot of ways we’ve become a tight knit, but very strange family. I looked around, and everywhere I turned were friendly faces that loved me. We might be odd, and some of us were definitely a little perverted, but we love each other. We look out for one another, and at the end of the day they all have my back. I couldn’t help but smile as we joined hands and bowed our heads.
Chapter 7
The rest of the dinner went pretty smoothly. Afterward, we started to make our way back to the elevator when we saw a line of people stretched well out into the lobby. They were waiting to sign up for a convention. Normally this wouldn’t have really raised an eyebrow from us, and we would have all just kept walking. I mean, conventions are held all the time so you don’t really think that much of most of them. This was different.
Some of them were wearing tails, and some had animal ears on their heads. It was like an arts and crafts show suddenly got taken over by a Japanese cartoon. They were cute, and adorable, and confusing the heck out of Grim.
“What in the blue hell is that?” Grimmy just stared at them.
“Furries!” I couldn’t contain my excitement. What little I knew about them I’d learned from a man I dated online a few times. His name was Ralph, and in his free time he liked to dress up as a giant pink bear. Ralphie even had an alter ego when he was in costume. He called himself Pink Bear E. It was just like how Bruce Wayne calls himself Batman, or is it Batman calling himself Bruce Wayne? Either way, a giant pink bear sounds a heck of a lot more fun to be around than a narcissistic, schizophrenic, obsessive compulsive, depressed, with severe anger management issues, unresolved daddy issues, and post-traumatic stress disorder. Don’t even get me started on all the young “wards” that he’s had over the years. The man is a chimpanzee, a crotch grab, and a moonwalk away from being the Dark Knight of Pop.
“Furries?” They all questioned in unison.
“What’s a furry?” Janine stared at the line of people.
“They are like Trekkies, but they wear fur suits. Think of it like a really big group of mascots that get together for fun and games.” I watched as their faces danced around through various stages of confusion and understanding. They were mostly confused.
“So, they are like walking stuffed animals?” Penny’s curiosity piqued. She was practically obsessed with stuffed animals, and so a room full of giant walking and talking stuffed animals had to be pretty appealing to her. She is a fan of all things cute and cuddly, but a well-developed sense of self-preservation reminded me that I should never actually say that to her face.
“Yeah, just like stuffed animals. So what do you guys say?” I asked.
“What the hell? I mean it’ll give us something to do while we wait around here. Besides, it’d be fun to see Penny surrounded by people that look like giant stuffed animals…ouch!” Grim yelped as Penny gave him a playful warning swat on his backside. “Honey, you know there is no excuse for domestic violence.”
Penny smiled, “Of course not, and that’s why you fell into a door.”
“I fell into a door? Ass first?”
“It was a gay door.” Penny chuckled.
“Fine, but when I tell the story in the future, it’ll be a ninja door. It just snuck up on me, and attacked. I could have been killed.” Grim laughed.
“That’s fine, and I’ll be there to explain how the gay ninja door tried to kill you by attacking your ass. You’re welcome to stress the ninja part, but I’ll keep stressing the gay part. It’s only fair that way, and besides…relationships are all about compromise.” Penny was laughing.
“Compromise? You?” Grim questioned.
“Well, someone has to compromise, but I never said it had to be me. Besides, you really shouldn’t question it. It’ll leave you distracted, and you never know when another gay inanimate object is going to try and molest you. Hey look…it’s a gay end table.” Penny swatted Grim’s butt even harder. The sound of the pop even made my backside sting in sympathy. Grim started to say something, but then decided better and started rubbing his butt.
“You two are so weird.” Katy grumbled.
“Yeah, we’re perfect for each other.” Penny and Grim spoke in unison. They both looked surprised that they’d thought the same thing, and then they started flirting with each other again. The rest of us couldn’t do anything but laugh.
“It wasn’t a compliment, you two knuckleheads…ow!” Katy was rubbing her bottom, and pouting.
“Well, look who just got introduced to a lesbian teapot.” Penny laughed.
“Lesbian teapot my…ouch!” Katy yelped again and pointed her backside toward the wall for safety.
“Who knew this hotel had so many sexually aggressive homosexual objects?” Penny had a wild gleam in her eye.
“Hey, why do they have to be homosexual?” Danika questioned.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“I said why do they have to be homosex…ouch! DAMMIT!” Danika rubbed her butt and growled a bit.
“Wow, looks like you got hit by one of the few straight items in the hotel. In the mirrors' defense…she thought you were a guy.” Penny’s eyes were starting to turn a tint of red.
“Umm, Penny?” I asked nervously.
“Yes…number four?” She answered.
“Number four? What do you mean number four?”
“Well DD, there have been three victims already.” Penny’s eyes were going blood red. Janine and the others realized there was a problem and suddenly got really still.
“I know you’re playing, but is everything okay? Your eyes are getting a little funny looking, and not in the ha-ha sort of way.” I wrung my hands nervously.
Penny glanced over my shoulder at the mirror, “Damn!” She then looked back at us apologetically. “I’m really sorry guys. I’m a lot hungrier than I’m used to, and it’s starting to affect how I behave. I really need to eat. The hungrier I get the more predatory I become. I was just playing with you all, but instinct was starting to take over a bit, and vampires love to play with their food from time to time. I’m really sorry.”
We all knew she meant it, but I think we were all still a little worried. Janine questioned, “So why don’t you just go snack on Grim, or maybe Katy?”
“Grim can’t. I’ve already taken too much from him this week as it is. If I take any more from him then I’ll be putting his health at risk, but maybe Katy wouldn’t mind?” Penny asked hopefully.
“Not a chance. I’m not opening a vein for you until you acknowledge that I’m my own person, and that I can have my own life.” Katy was resolute. I couldn’t really blame her, but it was making things uncomfortable. Especially since Penny showed no sign of bending on this at all.
“Well, maybe you could just go out and grab a bite?” Danika said what we were all thinking.
“That…is…un…acceptable!” Penny’s eyes turned a deep blood red.
“Why?” I heard myself asking. The look of her eyes made me nervous. They seemed alien to me. They were filled with hunger, and they darted back and forth like they were looking for an opportunity. I’d seen that look before in nature shows. It’s the look on a predators face when it is searching the herd for a weak member. A member it can separate from the others and devour. She was staring at all of us with that same expression and I don’t think she realized that she wasn’t hiding it from us.
Finally her eyes focused on me, and I felt my heart stu
tter in fear. Penny smiled like a lioness that just found easy prey, and then suddenly…as if realizing what she was doing, Penny blinked and her eyes were normal again. “Sorry, I…I’m just sorry.” She said in a voice barely above a whisper.
“So why can’t you just go out and get a bite?” Niki was as confused as the rest of us.
Penny took a deep breath, and tried to regain her composure. “For the last time! Grim is my…chosen partner. That dictates that he must be my primary food source, but because there is only so much blood a human can produce at one time, another source of sustenance must be provided. That secondary source is called a “pet” amongst vampires. They are the source of blood that allows for a relationship between a vampire and a human. “Pets” are seen as the embodiment of the love a vampire has for a human. The bond that a vampire chooses to make with a human is sacred to us, and therefore the bond we make with our pets is almost as important. When a vampire bites a human, our bite triggers a very…sexual response in both ourselves, and the human we’re biting. So for a vampire to bite another human other than their chosen human mate or their “Pet” without their approval is seen as showing a real lack of self-control. Amongst vampires, control is everything. Any sign of lack of control is seen as weakness, and weakness is never allowed to survive amongst my kind.”
“Well, fine! You have my permission to go eat. Go paint the town red…puns definitely intended.” Katy huffed.
“It’s not that simple. When you became our “pet” you accepted your role and all the obligations that came with it. You may have not really considered them, or cared about them at the time, but I do. A vampire must keep their home in order. That means that as far as I’m concerned all of you belong to me. I realize that some of you don’t share my opinion on that subject, but luckily for you I’m willing to overlook your poor judgment. This is the dictatorship of Penny, not the United States of Penny, but at least I am a benevolent dictator. As long as we are all together I will always look at you people as mine in some general sense. I won’t make you do anything, but I do see you all as mine. That means I need to look after your needs, and care for you all. That sense of ownership is even greater with Grim and Katy. Grim is my chosen partner. In my culture, as my partner, I can ask anything of him. I can even ask him to destroy me if this life ever grows too painful for me. Eternity is a long time, and sometimes we choose to end our existence. If the day ever came that I didn’t want to see another sun, then Joseph is the one that would end my suffering. It’s a bond of love that goes far deeper than I can adequately put into words.
“He isn’t just the man I love. He’s the one I’ve chosen to give my life to…and I mean it in a very literal sense. I’ve placed my life in his hands, and maybe someday I’ll ask him to take it from me. Katy, as our “Pet” you would get the job of being his comforter when I’m gone. So my part of the relationship is to try and foster as strong a tie as possible between you both. It means I feed exclusively on you both until our bond is strong and secure, and it means that I do my best to make sure you both love one another.”
Katy whispered, “I don’t love Grim…not like that. I really like him, and I love him like a friend. If I’d known all of this, then I’d never have accepted being your “pet”. You should have told me.”
“I know…and I’m sorry, but I wanted Joseph so badly, and I knew that there would be difficulties with keeping a pet with us unless they were part of the group, and…”
“I was convenient.” Katy interrupted. Penny looked sad, but nodded. She couldn’t even bring herself to speak. Katy looked down at the vampire, “I should be angry, but I’m not. We’re family, and it isn’t like you were trying to hurt me. In fact, in your own screwed up vampire way…you really were trying to love me. I get it. I really do. I know that you love Grim, and because you love him…you leaped before you looked. You took me as a “pet” because it was convenient. I can’t say much. I thought hopping into bed with you both would be a lot of fun, and it was. The problem isn’t in the bedroom; our problem is what happens once we stop fucking. I love you guys, but just not in the way you need me to love you. We’re not just friends; we’re some really weird kind of family. I’m glad you love him, but I need to find someone that can love me.”
“You’re really not mad at me?” Penny’s voice was a sniffle. For all of her “I am a mighty vampire and you’ll all bow down to me” attitude, Penny was really kind of sensitive, and a bit of a pushover. She really wanted to just be a part of our weird little family, but she is always walking a tightrope between two cultures. The super secretive vampire culture that survived on power and fear, and regular society with rules that were much more lax, Penny always seemed happier trying to live like the rest of us, but she just couldn’t let go of her vampiric culture. Then again from what little I knew about it, maybe she had to always try and be all vampy. Apparently, vampires had a very low tolerance for faux pas
“No I’m not mad. I had as much a hand in this miscommunication as you did…maybe more. I mean, let’s be honest; I wasn’t exactly taking notes when you tried to explain all this stuff. All I was thinking was that I was gonna get to have some great nookie with people that really cared about me, and at that time, it was enough for me to just have that. Now, I want more. I want to be the best part of the day in someone else’s life. I want to be to someone else what you and Grim are to each other. When you mentioned replacing me as your “pet” I went a little crazy. It felt like you were just tossing me out. Like I never mattered to you, and I just wanted to punish you for the hurt I was feeling. I didn’t want to be your pet anymore, but I didn’t want to get tossed away like garbage either. You get that, right?”
Penny nodded and hugged the witch so tightly her eyes started bugging out.
“So, will you please go get yourself something to eat?” Katy asked.
“I still can’t. Not until we find your replacement.” Penny said sadly.
“What? Why? I mean, I’m telling you it’s okay, and Grim is telling you it’s okay. What on earth could possibly be keeping you from snacking down on someone?” Katy was exasperated.
“It’s okay to you, and okay to Grim, but it’s not okay to me. Until we can replace you, or until Grim says that you are no longer acceptable, you are my “pet”. Since Grim actually likes you as a person, and wants to have you around as a friend, it means I can’t just ignore that you two are mine just to make my life easier. Plus, I really don’t want to lose you as a friend just so I can catch a decent meal. Until we find your replacement, I’ll try to just suck it up and ignore my rumbling tummy, and I’ll try and be more respectful of your feelings about that. But feeding on people while my own house isn’t in order? That’s something no vampire worth their fangs would ever do. So guys, please be patient with me. I’m trying not to be grumpy, and trying not to look at you like you’re a walking hot pocket, but sometimes it’s hard.” Penny smiled kindly at us all.
“So I could be stuck in limbo as your pet forever? Come on! Seriously? I’m trying to be cool about this, but this just sucks, and I’m still not being your dinner. It’s hard to put my foot down after my brain is turned to mush because you’ve nibbled on me for a while. It’s hard to think straight when that bite of yours feels so good.” Katy was smiling, but her eyes held a steel in them that let Penny know snack time was over.
“That’s okay. I’m hoping your status as “pet” will be removed as soon as possible. I just have to start looking for a suitable candidate. That is, of course, if you’re okay with me searching for someone else? I don’t want you thinking I’m getting rid of you. I care about you, but I have needs that you can’t meet. You have needs that you can’t meet as long as you are our “pet”. So are you sure you’ll be okay if I start looking for someone else?” Penny said nervously.
“I’m not saying I won’t be jealous from time to time. I mean, we did have a relationship…weird as it was, but yeah. Go find someone that makes you and Grim happy. Just make sure it’s so
meone that knows what they are getting into. You don’t want to be right back in this situation any time soon.” Katy hugged Penny, and for the first time in a long while, the two women seemed to be on the best terms they’ve been on in the last couple months. I guess communication really is key. I looked over to Grim, and his expression was unreadable. I mean he was putting on a serious poker face, and I suddenly got the impression he wasn’t too confident in this sudden truce the two women had declared.
“So what do you say guys? How about we get some tickets? It’ll be something we can do while we wait around.” I asked. I was hopeful, but nervous.
Most of them gave very noncommittal shrugs. Then Penny saw him. He was tall, thickly built, black with a white stripe, and a big permanent grin. “So-o-o-o adorable!” Penny actually squeaked before darting over to the line. She got behind him and practically bounced up and down in excitement. Her breasts jiggled with every bounce, distracting pretty much everyone.
“Did we all just get dumped for a guy in a skunk outfit?” Grim grumbled.
“Nope, you all got dumped for a guy in a skunk outfit. I broke up with her prior to this. So I’m really a dumper not a dumpee.” Katy giggled.
“Well let’s get over there before she does something that gets me in trouble.” Grim groaned.
“Why just you?” Janine asked.
“Well, you’ve seen how she is with her skunk Dr. Fluffenstein, and this joker is basically a giant sized version of her stuffed animal. Look at her. Either she’s going to forget herself and try to snuggle the fella against his will, which will get Penny in trouble, or the dude is going to enjoy the attention and want to reciprocate. That means I’ll be in trouble.”
“Why would that get you in trouble?” I asked.
“Because, then I’ll have to kill the man, and I’m pretty sure anything I do to that skunk is going to be taken pretty personally by Penny.” Grim sounded pretty irritated, but I think it might have just been a little overprotective jealousy on his part. Sometimes the big lug could be a bit of a possessive caveman, but his heart is in the right place.
Midnight Squad: The Ties That Bind Page 11
