His eyes light up with realization. "Fuck, that's true."
"You're selfless."
"Or out of touch with my feelings."
"But you're not, not if you write songs the way you do." I lean closer. "I don't doubt that you ache for your brother and sister, or your bandmates, but how did you feel?"
"Terrified I'd lose the only thing that kept me and my brother connecting." His eyes go to the table. "Terrified I'd end up alone."
"Do you feel alone now?"
He nods. "It's not as bad. I can call Ethan anytime I want and work on a riff. He might choose Vi over me, but he can't stay away from his guitar for long."
"And Piper?"
"That's harder. But as long as she's engaged to the bassist and he's in the band, she'll be around."
"And you get Joel and Kit around too?"
He nods.
"You love all of them?"
"Yeah. Don't tell Joel."
"I think he knows."
Mal laughs. "Yeah, he probably does. He's smarter than he looks too."
"You have a lot of love to give."
Something in his posture shifts, some realization. Still, he nods. "Keep that our secret."
It does something to me, thinking of all that love Mal has to give. He's been alone a long time. And I've felt alone for far too long, considering I was with Adam until a few weeks ago.
I'm not supposed to get ideas about Mal and I being together.
About this being more than sex.
But my head is flush with thoughts of the future. Of more. Of all of him.
His gaze shifts from my eyes to my lips to my chest. "Where has that dress been?"
"Waiting for a nice occasion." I push past the flush in my cheeks. "I don't think I've ever worn it."
"Why'd you buy it?" His eyes lock with mine. "Not that I'm complaining."
"Every so often, I get these ideas of some fantasy life I could lead. Maybe it's the filmmaker dreamer thing. This one… well, it came with these heels and black lace lingerie."
He raises a brow like he's considering demanding a look at said lingerie.
"I thought, maybe, this would make Adam want me." I pressed my lips together. Already, I can feel the sting of rejection in my fingertips. I can taste its bitterness on my tongue. "It didn't."
"That's on him."
I swallow hard. "Maybe."
Mal's voice drops an octave. "Lacey, tell me what I have to do to convince you he was an idiot and I'll do it."
"I don't know."
"You were right to leave."
My breath catches in my throat. This is not the conversation I want to have right now. Already, my skin is crawling. "I don't know—"
"I do." He shifts out of his side of the booth and slides next to me. His knee presses against mine. His fingertips skim the hem of my dress.
Thoughts slip away at an alarming rate.
I can't think with Mal this close.
God, he smells good.
He leans down to bring his lips to my ear. "You have any idea how much you drive me out of my mind?"
"No," I breathe. I'm not sure I have any ideas right now. I'm not sure I'll ever have another idea with the way my thoughts are screaming Need. Mal. Now.
He wants me.
Even though it's clear as day, it feels impossible.
"I was hard the entire drive to your place." He pushes my dress up a few inches. His fingertips skim my inner thigh. "Thinking about sliding my hand between your legs." He drags his fingertips higher. "Thinking about driving my fingers into your slick cunt."
I shudder from his touch.
"Thinking about bending you over my knee and rolling your dress to your waist…" He presses his lips to my neck with a soft kiss. Then a hard one.
His fingers mover higher, higher, almost. Fuck.
"Mal," I breathe.
"You want me to spank you, baby?"
"I… yes, I think so."
"To tie you up?"
I nod.
He drags his lips over the edge of my jaw as he pulls back. His blue eyes fix on me. He studies my expression like it's poetry. "You liked the mix of pain and pleasure."
My cheeks flush. My sex clenches.
Mal's pupils dilate. I'm reacting to him. He's reacting to me. It's fucking poetry.
He rubs me over my panties. His expression screams I bet you wish you followed orders right now.
"I love how earnest you are about this." His voice is a low growl. "It drives me out of my mind."
"Really?"
"Joel always says I like ingenues."
"Do you?"
"I like you." He drags his lips over my neck. "You're the sexiest woman in the entire universe. You should feel it."
I swallow hard.
"I'm going to make you feel like you deserve every drop of my desire." He strokes me over my panties. "I want to make you feel so much pleasure you can't take it, Lacey."
God, that impossibly soft touch, the heat of his breath, the low, demanding voice… It's official. Mal's a sex god. My fantasies were right.
My brain is screaming fuck Mal now. It has no room for other thoughts. It barely has room for words.
"I had your poster on my wall." What the fuck? I bite my tongue. Where did that come from?
Mal chuckles. "Which one?"
"You're leaning against the headboard with your jeans unzipped."
"That's the best one." He strokes me over my panties. "You want to be tied to my headboard."
"Yes, but I—"
"You're nervous."
"Was it the poster comment that gave me away?"
He laughs. "Fuck, Lacey, you're going to be the end of me."
I think he's got that backwards. "I used to daydream about climbing into your lap."
"What else?"
"Everything."
"I want to give you everything." He pulls back enough to look me in the eyes. "Are you on birth control?"
"Yes."
He pulls out his cell, taps the screen a few times, and sets it on the table. It's an STD test. His STD test.
He's clean.
"I am too. Me and Adam… it had been a while and I got tested at my last yearly." It's all I can manage to hold his gaze. "You want to go bareback?"
"If you do."
I try to say yes, but my mouth refuses to make words. Instead, I nod.
He nods back.
Bareback with Mal… holy shit. "Do you normally?"
"No, it's been a long time since I've been exclusive."
Mal and I, exclusive. It's not news but it still feels fresh. Intoxicating. The thought of his flesh against mine, nothing in the way, all that trust flowing between us…
"I'm going to lead, Lacey. I want you to relax and feel everything."
"Okay."
"You know traffic light?"
"No."
"Red means stop. Yellow means slow down. Green means go. You can stop or slow down any time. But you don't have to worry about anything but feeling it. I'll check in."
"Okay."
He leans down to press his lips to my neck. He pushes my dress higher. High enough to cause a scene. His fingers skim the edges of my thong. "You think you can handle that, baby?"
I have no fucking idea, but I want to find out.
22
Lacey
The entire meal, I think about Mal peeling my dress to my waist.
Binding my wrists to his headboard.
Spreading my legs and diving between them.
The entire drive home, he keeps his palm placed on my thigh. His thumb strokes my quad. His fingers stroke my inner thigh. They get closer and closer to where they need to be.
When he parks, and pulls his hand back, all that pent up anticipation pools in my core. God, I can't believe it's possible to be this achy. This needy. This desperate.
I'm not sure how I get out of the car and follow Mal into the house. Walking is nearly impossible with the way my sex is throbbing.
He presses his palm against my lower back and nods to the kitchen. "You want something to drink?"
"No."
"To eat?"
"Mal…"
"You want to come on my hand?"
My yes is more groan than word.
Mal's smile is somehow playful and demanding at once. It shouldn't be possible for him to make me feel like it's safe that I'm jumping into freefall, but he is.
His hand slides to my ass as he leads me up the stairs. With every step, my thighs beg for his hands.
Mal pulls my body into his as he leads me into the bedroom. We've been here before, but this feels different.
More intense.
More intimate.
It's in his posture. In his breath—it's steadier, heavier.
He pulls his hand back to his side to take a seat on the bed. He looks inviting just sitting there, one palm planted at his side, his posture strong and confident.
His deep blue eyes fix on mine. "Come here."
I take a seat on the bed next to him.
Mal gives me a long, slow once-over as he drags his fingertips up my thigh. He gets higher, higher, there-
Fuck.
His fingers brush my clit, over my panties.
Oh.
The panties.
His voice drops to something entirely demanding. "You weren't supposed to wear these."
"I know."
He takes my arms and pulls my body onto his legs. My stomach is pressed against his legs. My palms are flat on the bed. My ass—
Fuck.
Slowly, Mal rolls my dress up my thighs. Higher and higher and higher. Over my ass. All the way to my waist.
His fingers trace a line from the back of my knee, up my leg, over the curve of my ass.
His cock is pressed against my stomach. His jeans and my bunched dress are in the way, but there's no denying how hard he is.
There's certainly no denying how wet I am.
Mal lets out a soft groan as he traces the line of my panties over my hips, to the v of my thong, down the seam of my ass, over my sex. "It's not a punishment if you want it."
I swallow hard. I can't believe how much I want it.
"Tell me why I shouldn't send you home wanting."
Every molecule of my body protests. "Mal…"
"You're lucky I don't get off on punishment, baby."
"What do you get off on?"
"That need in your voice."
The zigzags he draws over the thong's fabric send wave after wave of lust to my core. God, I hate this scrap of fabric. Why did I wear it? Those fingers could be on my bare skin.
I'm never wearing panties again.
"Knowing you want me more than you've ever wanted anything." He rubs me over my panties until I'm so fucking close to the edge I can't take it. "Knowing you trust me."
"I do."
"I know." He brings his hands to my thighs, repositioning my body for something—I don't know. "You want me to spank you, baby?"
"Yes."
"Count for me, out loud."
"How many—"
"Ten."
I nod as I attempt to swallow my anticipation. It doesn't work. It seeps into every molecule of my body. My sex, my thighs, my breasts, my lips, my arms, even my fingers and toes need Mal.
He pulls his hand into the air and brings it down on my ass with a hard smack.
"One."
It only barely stings.
He does it again, a little harder.
"Two."
Again. Harder.
"Three."
Hard enough it hurts.
"Four."
Again.
"Five."
The sting of pain only makes me achier. Needier.
"Six."
The next spanking is hard enough it hurts as much as it feels good.
"Seven."
The sting of pain sends endorphins flooding through my body. They wake up my nerves. They amplify my pleasure.
And the feel of his hard cock against my stomach—
Again.
"Eight."
I let out a low, deep groan. My sex is aching. Every part of me is aching.
He holds his hand up in the air until the anticipation has me buzzing.
His palm comes down against my flesh.
"Nine." It's a groan as much as it's a word.
Again, he makes me wait. I press my knees together. I clench my toes. I tug at the sheets as I suck a breath through my teeth.
Smack! His hand comes down hard on my ass. The sting goes out to every inch of my body.
"Ten," I breathe.
He slides my panties to my knees, then he's dragging his fingertips over the backs of my thighs. He spreads my legs a little wider. "You're fucking soaked, baby."
I groan a yes.
"You want it that much?"
"Yes." I arch my back to lift my ass into the air. "Please."
"Please… what?"
"Make me come. Please." My voice breaks into a whine, but I don't care. I'm that desperate.
Fuck, I'm ready to throw a temper tantrum.
My body is buzzing.
My sex is aching.
His fingertips skim the backs of my thighs. The curve of my ass.
He plants one hand on my lower back, holding me in place.
But he's not touching me properly yet.
I squirm.
I shake.
I bite my tongue to keep from whining.
"Fucking beautiful, Lacey." His fingertips skim my inner thigh.
Higher.
Higher.
Almost.
There.
In one swift motion, Mal slides a finger inside me. Then another. A third.
I'm dripping wet, but he's still stretching the limits of what I can take. He pushes deeper. Deeper. Deep enough it hurts.
He pulls out enough to do it again.
Again.
Fuck, that feels good.
I feel full. Whole.
Then his thumb brushes against my clit and a wave of pleasure spreads out through my body.
"Mal," I breathe.
"You want more, baby?"
My yes barely registers as a word, but he must understand. His touch gets harder.
Faster.
He fucks me with his fingers.
He rubs me with his thumb.
My sex clenches.
I'm close.
I rock my hips to meet his hands. I shake. I squirm. I groan incomprehensible things.
"Mal… Fuck… Don't stop."
His response is a low, deep groan. He presses down on my back just enough to remind me of the prize waiting in his jeans.
Fuck, he's hard.
And I want that.
And I want this.
And—
Fuck.
With the next thrust of his fingers, I go over the edge. All that tension in my sex unleashes. I pulse so hard I see white.
Pleasure spreads out through my pelvis, my torso, my thighs.
He drags his fingers down my thigh. With his other hand, he helps me into a seated position.
His arms slide around my waist.
He pulls me into his lap, his cock against my sex but those damn jeans in the way.
The look in his eyes is intense and demanding. He's demanding my body but he's giving so much of himself in exchange.
My eyelids flutter closed as I lean in to kiss him. He tastes good and his lips are soft and his tongue is claiming my mouth like it was built for him.
He pushes my dress off my shoulders and down my chest.
He unhooks my bra and peels it off my skin.
I'm naked except for the dress bunched at my waist.
Naked for him.
His.
Right now, it doesn't matter that I'm only his for a while. It doesn't matter that my entire life is in free fall. It certainly doesn't matter that my feelings for Mal are growing at an alarming rate.
All that matters is his body aga
inst mine.
Pleasing him.
Him pleasing me.
His fingers sink into my hips as he pulls my body onto his. I grind against him.
Fuck, the friction of his denim against my tender flesh.
When he pulls back, I'm shaking with desire.
His blue eyes fix on mine. "Go sit back against the headboard."
"Now?"
"Now." He watches as I slink out of his lap and take a spot at the head of the bed. Mal's eyes pass over me slowly. Like I'm a work of art. Like I'm the fucking Mona Lisa. "Take off your dress."
I pull it over my head and toss it aside. I'm naked for him. It's not like when I was naked with Adam. I always felt a little self-conscious, a little like I didn't stack up.
Mal stares at me in a way that convinces me I really am the hottest woman in the universe.
The desire in his eyes pushes away everything but my desperate need for his body.
He shifts off the bed and pulls restraints from under the mattress. His touch is gentle, soft, as he cuffs my left wrist. He drags his fingers up my arm and over my chest, then he's moving onto the bed to finish tracing the line.
He slings his leg over me, straddling me.
He leans down and plants a hard kiss on my lips. I'm only halfway bound. My free hand goes straight to his hair and it tugs hard. That gets him nipping at my lower lip.
Grinding his hips against mine.
When he shifts to my right side, my body whines. Is it possible to die from the weight of desire? Right now, it feels like it.
He finishes tracing that line all the way up my right arm and over my index finger. He's just as slow about cuffing my right wrist. "You know why I'm tying you up?"
I tug at them to test them. They're snug enough to keep me in place without cutting off my circulation. "Because I asked you to."
"Yeah, but you know why I want you bound to my bed?"
"No," I breathe.
He shifts onto the bed so he's sitting at my waist. He drags his fingers up my stomach and over my chest. "It's the only way to force you to take all the pleasure I want to give you."
"Mal…"
"You're going to come until you beg me to stop."
"Then?"
"Then you're going to come on my cock." His eyes fix on mine as he toys with my nipples, the right then the left. His touch gets harder. Rougher. "Spread your legs."
I do.
He plays with my nipples with one hand and slides the other between my legs. I'm already hypersensitive.
The brush of his thumb is enough to make me shudder.
Dangerous Fling: A Rock Star Romance (Dangerous Noise Book 4) Page 18
