Jessie stopped rocking the baby. "It has always been difficult for Dallas to forgive. Believe me, I know. He's just now forgiving me for all that mess with the mineral rights. Give him a little time. You have to make him listen to you."
Gillian twisted her hands in her lap. "I don't have much time left."
"What do you mean?"
"The well is dry. We'll be closing down the rig. I'm sorry."
"Sorry?" Jessie laughed. "I'm not sorry. Do you know how much grief I've caused this family because of the drilling? What a relief! Well, this should certainly make Dallas more receptive to your apologies."
Gillian sighed. "I don't think he'll ever forgive me. Besides, I'll be moving on soon."
"Do you want to move on?" Jessie asked quietly. "You love him, don't you?"
"That's not the point, is it?"
"If Dallas asked you--"
Gillian shook her head. "He won't ask."
Jessie frowned. "Does he realize you're leaving?"
"I haven't told him yet." Moving from the bed, Gillian squatted near the rocker, rubbing the sleeping baby's cheek with one finger. "I'm glad I could help with the baby, Jessie. I'm glad I met you and your family."
"Don't talk like that," Jessie said. "You sound like we're never going to see you again. Dallas loves you, even though he won't admit it. And you love him. It'll work out some how."
Gillian slowly rose, shaking her head. "I don't think so. Maybe I shouldn't have come to the shower. I'm making everyone uncomfortable."
"No, you're not. I'm happy you came. And Cameron wanted to meet you. When Dallas sees that we're still friends, maybe it'll help him come around."
Tori stuck her head in the room. "What are you two doing in here? Talking about my big bad brother?"
Gillian blushed, keeping her eyes on the baby.
"Which one?" Jessie said, with a laugh. "All of your brothers are big and bad."
"Don't I know it." Tori rolled her eyes to the ceiling. "All right, time to party. Don't you want to open your gifts?" she asked Jessie.
"Sure, just give me a minute. I'll be right there."
"Come on," Tori said to Gillian. "I'll protect you from Dallas."
Gillian looked at Jessie helplessly as Tori dragged her off to join the others.
****
Dallas quietly slipped into the living room, where everyone was gathered. He did a quick survey of the guests. On the other side of the room, Gillian sat on a folding chair, her back ramrod straight, her smile strained. She held a cup of punch tightly in her hands, holding on to it as if it were a lifeline.
Their eyes met for a brief second. Gillian's mocha-colored gaze held longing and sadness. She broke contact, focusing her attention on Jessie and Cameron seated on the couch.
Dallas didn't want to think what she might see in his own eyes. He didn't know what he felt. Anger. Hurt. And desire, damn it. For a moment, he forgot about Gillian's betrayal. Forgot he had sworn never to think about her again.
Christ, she looked good. He had never seen her in a dress before. He thought she had looked sexy in those tight khakis, t-shirt, and hiking boots. That was nothing compared to the yellow sundress and the dainty white sandals she had on now. That dress begged for him to slip his fingers under the thin straps, push them from her silky shoulders, trace the fabric across her full breasts . . .
He ordered himself to stop his wayward thoughts before he acted like a fool. Leaning against the doorframe, he pulled his gaze away from Gillian and watched Jessie open presents. Everyone oohed and aahed over each tiny bootie and soft fuzzy blanket. Even his brothers exclaimed over the gifts.
It was downright embarrassing. Men shouldn't have to go to these things, he thought. They usually didn't. Weren't even invited. But this was no ordinary baby shower. It was more of a welcome-the-new-McCade-into-the-family kind of party. Hell, half the county was here. Jessie had a lot of friends and people were glad Cameron was back in Salt Fork. He'd been away a long time, but now he was the resident doctor in town.
"Okay, pass that blanket around and open the last gift," Tori said. "Then we can eat. I'm starving."
"Spoken like a true McCade. Blunt and to the point." Sam Garza lifted his glass in mock salute.
Dallas saw his baby sister lift her chin, a martial light shining in her deep blue eyes. Tori handed Jessie the gift, then looked at Sam. "I'd rather be blunt and to the point, than talk in circles and leave people in the dark about what they're thinking or feeling."
"Tori," Ruth said. "You mustn't say such things. Especially with a house full of guests."
Tori continued to stare at Sam. A fleeting emotion flashed across his face. He nodded, then slowly smiled, raising his glass to her once more.
Dallas had the distinct impression that a gauntlet had been thrown down. He wondered again what was going on between those two. He didn't know how he felt about his little sister being involved with a man.
Hell, he didn't know anything about his feelings these days. Ever since Gillian had arrived on the scene, nothing had been the same. Feelings and emotions, alternating between rage and hostility, desire and ecstasy, betrayal and hurt, had him jumping like a puppet on a string. He didn't care for the situation at all.
After the last gift was opened and exclaimed over, the guests migrated toward the food. Dallas wasn't hungry and he certainly wasn't in the mood to mingle. Besides, he'd never been the social type. His reluctance to join the party had nothing to do with Gillian's presence. Right, McCade.
Quickly and quietly, he let himself out the front door. He stayed on the porch and leaned on the railing, looking at the stand of mesquite trees bordering the yard, the fields of cotton in the distance. Wondering if his life would ever get back to normal. Almost forgetting what normal was.
The squeak of the screen door made his shoulders stiffen. He knew who it was without turning his head. From the corner of his eye, Dallas watched Gillian's cautious approach.
He fought the overwhelming urge to gather her in his arms and kiss the wary look from her eyes. A fierce yearning slammed his gut, blind-siding him and making his heart hammer in his head. He tried not to remember how her supple body felt next to his. How her fingers had explored his chest, trailed rivulets of awareness down his stomach, dipped into his navel, then closed around him, bringing him to a pitch of frenzied passion.
Gillian stood beside him. Close enough to smell her unique blend of vanilla and femininity. Far enough away to emphasize the barriers that had risen between them. Silence hung heavy between them. She stared straight ahead, her eyes searching the distance, before she finally turned toward him.
Dallas hitched a hip on the wooden railing and crossed his arms. He waited for her to speak. A heaviness lay deep inside his chest, threatening to erupt and consume him. What was it about this woman that caused him to feel everything so intensely?
He focused on her mouth. That was a mistake. When she bit the full bottom lip, he almost groaned, remembering her taste, her response to his kisses. When her brown eyes found his, Dallas struggled for breath. The wanting was a living, pulling thing between them. He refused to succumb to her seductive lures. She was just a woman. Like all the rest of the treacherous breed. He should have learned his lesson from his ex-wife. He should never have allowed himself to give in to temptation. But Gillian was sexy enough to tempt a saint. He'd never considered himself saintly.
"Why did you come here?" he asked.
"I wanted to see the baby. And your family. I wanted to see you," she whispered, then lifted her chin. "You never let me apologize. I'm sorry for what happened."
"Me, too. Sorry I ever laid eyes on you."
Gillian flinched, but kept her chin raised. "Well, that makes two of us, doesn't it?" She knew it was a lie, but refused to let him see her hurt. "You'll be happy to know I won't be around much longer. Your wish has come true. Copper River Oil is pulling out. There's not enough oil and gas to justify expenses. We'll be off your property by the end of the month. I'll
make sure we leave the land intact. At least I can do that much. Good bye, Dallas."
She pushed away from the railing, walked across the porch, across the yard to her car. Never looking back. Dallas watched her drive away, feeling like he'd been sucker-punched in the gut.
Cameron came out of the house. "You going to let her go? Just like that?"
Dallas nodded.
"You know," Cameron said, leaning against the porch rail, "it's damned scary to let someone get close. But guess what? It's a hell of a lot scarier to think of living the rest of your life without the woman you love. The one who loves you back."
"Love has nothing to do with this," Dallas said.
"Doesn't it?" Cameron raised a brow. "Gillian has the look of a woman in love."
"How could she love me when she thought I was trying to shut down the rig? You've got to trust someone in order to love them. She thinks I'm a vengeful, scheming, dishonest--"
"Maybe she did at first," Cameron said, interrupting him. "She told Jessie she had her doubts in the beginning. That was before she knew you. You aren't exactly charming when you're angry. Remember how you lit into Jessie when Copper River Oil first moved onto the land? I still cringe when I think about it."
"Look, I told Jessie I was sorry. I can't change the past," Dallas said. "Besides, none of that matters anymore. Copper River is pulling out."
Cameron smiled. "Congratulations. Everything can get back to normal now."
Dallas rubbed the back of his neck. "Funny thing. I can't remember what normal is anymore."
"Because your normal was just a state of being. You were existing, not living. Gillian changed all that," Cameron said. "Don't let her go. Swallow your pride. Go after her. Grab a little happiness. You deserve it."
"I don't know if I can." Dallas stared down the road.
"Gillian isn't Marilyn," Cameron said. "Don't punish her for Marilyn's sins. A good woman is hard to find. Don't throw away this chance. Go after Gillian."
****
Dallas stood on the ridge overlooking the drilling site. A month had passed and Gillian had been as good as her word. There was little evidence left that Copper River Oil had been drilling on the Diamondback Ranch. Gillian's men had bulldozed the area, graded it out, and planted new grass and sagebrush. They'd completely covered their tracks. He wondered if they always left abandoned wells like that. Or had Gillian taken extra care with this particular site like she'd promised. An odd sensation settled in his stomach at the thought.
Lifting his Stetson, Dallas ran his fingers through his hair. He should have been happy. Ecstatic. Walking on air. Four months ago, his most fervent desire had been that Copper River Oil wouldn't strike oil. He'd been granted that wish. Copper River was gone, but so was Gillian.
God, he missed her. His whole body ached with missing her.
Was Cameron right? Was he punishing Gillian for Marilyn's sins? Punishing himself for his mistakes? The years since his divorce had been wasted. After Marilyn left, Dallas had avoided women like the plague. He had loved his wife, or so he'd thought. That youthful love couldn't compare to the all-consuming passion he felt for Gillian.
From the beginning, he had fought the feelings for her. Recognizing danger when he saw it, he had guarded his heart with a vengeance. Only to have Gillian inch her way in bit by bit. She hadn't turned his world topsy-turvy. She had righted it. Made it good again.
Now she was gone, and he only felt half alive. Two parts, one whole. That's how he felt about Gillian. Part of himself was here on the ranch; the other part was in Los Angeles where Gillian lived.
Dallas was tired of fighting his feelings. He was tired of fighting a losing battle. In spite of everything, Gillian had managed to capture his heart. Did she still love him? Was it too late? He'd acted like a bastard towards her. Unfortunately, he did that a lot where Gillian was concerned.
Slamming his hat back on his head, he strode to his truck. He needed to go to Los Angeles as soon as possible. Luckily, he knew a pilot with a plane ready to fly at a moment's notice.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Gillian raised the metal watering can over the hanging basket, giving her new spider plant a healthy sprinkle of water. Charlotte was the first plant she had bought in years. Her job had required extensive traveling, so she'd never bothered with plants or pets, because they were too much trouble.
Had required. She had quit her job with Copper River Oil Company. After the fiasco in Salt Fork, she didn't care if she never saw another drilling site for the rest of her life. There was plenty of time for plants now. Maybe she'd get a dog.
It was time to regroup. She had money in savings to see her through for a while. Give her time to find a new job. Maybe go back to school. Maybe think about settling down. But the thought of settling down with anyone other than Dallas tugged at her heartstrings.
He'd rejected her. He hadn't wanted her love. He'd warned her he wasn't interested in love. She should have guarded her heart more closely. Instead, she had foolishly fallen in love with Dallas McCade. And he believed she'd betrayed him. His pride and integrity had been questioned. He would never forgive her. She would never forgive herself.
Setting the watering can in the kitchen sink, Gillian wiped her hands on a towel. Somehow, someway, she would get through this. She had always done so before. She would do it again. She was used to being on her on. Used to being alone.
With a long sigh, she hung the towel to dry. Before she met Dallas, she'd never felt lonely. Well, she would learn to live with that, too.
A loud banging on the door startled her from the melancholy thoughts. She groaned as she looked down at her tattered t-shirt and sweatpants. She wasn't exactly dressed for company. Her feet were bare and she wasn't wearing a bra. Hopefully, she could get rid of whoever it was.
Gillian pressed her eye to the peephole. Her breath hitched and she jerked back, clutching a hand over her heart to still its tremors. She grabbed the doorknob to take another peek, bumping her forehead in the process.
Yes, it was Dallas all right. There he stood, on her front step, his hands behind his back, that proverbial frown on his handsome face, his black Stetson sitting on his head.
God, he looked good!
He knocked again, rattling the door. "Come on, Gillian. Open up. I heard you bump against the door. I know you're in there. Let me in."
"Why should I?" she called. Something very close to hope crept along the base of her spine.
"So I can see you. Talk to you. We need to talk."
"No, I mean why are you here?" Gillian rubbed her aching head. Part of her wanted to yank the door open and fling herself in his arms. Another part warned to tread carefully. Dallas was a difficult man at best.
"I think that would be obvious, sweetheart."
Through the peephole, Gillian saw that almost-smile of his. Her heart turned a somersault.
"Give me two minutes to change. I'm not decent," she said, glancing at her shabby clothing again. If Dallas was here to sweep her off her feet, she didn't want to be in rags. And if he was here for some other reason, a change of clothes would give her an added boost of confidence. Something she sorely needed when dealing with him.
"Hell, I don't mind," Dallas said. "I like you that way. The more indecent, the better. Open up."
"Two minutes, Dallas. Please?"
"Oh hell," he growled. "All right, but hurry."
She was running to her bedroom before he finished the sentence. Stripping off her t-shirt and sweats, she threw on a thin silk caftan. She grabbed a brush and pulled it through her hair. She didn't have time for make-up, only a dab of lip-gloss.
Gillian ran back to the door and opened it. She was rewarded for her hasty efforts. Dallas stood there staring at her; his eyes flared with appreciation and hunger. Her skin tingled all the way down to her bare toes from the pure male appraisal, and her heart hummed with optimistic anticipation. He was here. She couldn't believe he'd come.
She leaned on the doorframe, her stomach f
luttering madly. "Would you like to come in?" she said, her voice just a bare whisper.
His mouth tugged upwards in the half-smile she loved so well. "Yes, ma'am," he said. Except he didn't move. He took his time admiring her from the top of her head all the way down to her bare feet.
The air sizzled between them. Gillian felt her nipples tighten. Dallas's eyes shimmered in response.
"You going to stand there all day, Cowboy?" she asked. "I thought you wanted to come in."
Dallas took two long strides, stopping only inches away from her. The heat from his powerful body seared through the gossamer fabric of her gown. Her knees wobbled from his nearness. With a firm grip, she held on to the door to keep from melting at his feet.
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