What the hell?
“I’m telling you, Nate,” Megan began as she gestured wildly. “Her form’s all wrong. I mean, look at that. She’ll never last long kneeling that way.”
“Meg, Meg,” Nate countered. “While I respect your opinion, you have no idea what you’re talking about. Does it look like my man Luke is complaining? Who cares about form?”
I can’t believe this shit.
“What the hell are you two doing here?” I barked. Jillian just stared up at me with wide eyes. Just please don’t move. I will make them go away. I promise.
“We’re just trying to help you, Luke,” Megan explained. “You don’t have to get all worked up.” She snickered again. “Well, I guess it’s too late for that.”
“Nice,” Nate added raising his palm for a high five.
“Out! Both of you!” I demanded pointing down the path the chairs were blocking. Jillian didn’t need any coaching. We were doing just fine on our own.
“Chill out, man. You have your work cut out for you there, Jillian. He really needs to learn to release these bottled up feelings,” Nate added, his shoulders shaking as he giggled like an asshole.
“Oooh!” Megan squealed. “Another good one. Let’s get out of here. I can tell when we’re not appreciated.” I glanced down at Jillian, trying to gauge her reaction. She seemed amused, and I was filled with relief that she didn’t go storming off. When I looked back up again, Megan, Nate and the chairs were all gone.
“Finally,” I sighed smiling at the beautiful girl before me. “Where were we?”
“I believe I was discarding these,” she replied finally dragging the zipper of my jeans slowly down. They pooled on the ground at my feet leaving me in my boxer briefs. I should have felt the chill in the air, but I didn’t.
I heard a gasp and moved to yank my pants back up, but Jillian was kneeling on them. My eyes darted around to locate the source of the interruption and found Danielle and Josh leaning against a tree behind us.
“Jillian, don’t you dare!” she scolded. “Josh, do you believe what you’re seeing?”
“I think it’s pretty clear what we’re seeing,” he replied with a lazy smirk. He seemed distracted by the music playing on his headphones.
“That’s not what I mean, Josh,” she replied exasperated. “I mean it, Jillian. Get up now! I will not let you go down on Luke while the ground is littered with trash. You’re going to ruin those cute jeans. Jesus, Luke, this place is a mess!”
“So help me God, Fletcher,” I growled. “If you don’t get your girlfriend out of here right now, I will kick your indie-music-loving ass.”
“Honey, I think you’re pissing Luke off,” he said a little too calmly for my taste. Damn right I was pissed. This was all so inappropriate.
“Fine, Luke,” she sneered. “But if her clothes are ruined, I’m holding you responsible.” They turned up the path, arm-in-arm and disappeared.
“Jillian, I’m not going to be able to handle it if anymore of your friends interrupt us again,” I managed in a strained voice.
“I’m not easily distracted, Luke,” she replied. “I think I was working on ‘touch’, right?” She was torturing me, wanting me to ask for it.
“Oh God, yes,” I panted, closing my eyes. I was positive that I would spontaneously combust if she didn’t touch me soon.
Taking deep breaths, I peered down and watched as Jillian reached out—almost in slow motion—and as soon as she made contact with my erection, I squeezed my eyes shut and shuddered violently. As I cursed through the jolt of pleasure running through me, I awoke startled.
I wasn’t in the woods behind the gym.
I wasn’t with Jillian.
I was in my bed, sweaty and sticky with my dick in my hand. I hadn’t had a wet dream since I was fifteen, and it was goddamn humiliating.
I dragged myself into the bathroom to clean up while trying to imagine how I was going to look her in the eye without seeing her on her knees. I splashed cold water on my face and stared into the mirror at my flushed reflection. I had only really known her for less than a week and she was driving me crazy. The hardest part—well, one of the hardest parts—was that I just couldn’t read her. She’d go toe-to-toe with me, not backing down. She wasn’t afraid to disagree with me or say something that sounded crazy. Actually, most everything she said sounded kind of crazy. But I never felt like she was trying to impress me. She just...was. But even in our bantering, there was a line we never crossed. She never said or did anything blatant. She seemed interested, but I definitely felt her holding back. I wondered if there was someone else she talked about flasks with and stupidly wanted to pummel the faceless asshole. I didn’t have time for this kind of distraction. This girl had become a real problem. Now I had another reason to dread going to school.
I’d at least have the morning to shake off my dream before I’d see her, and I still had a car ride to Tacoma to deal with tomorrow. That was a whole other problem. By then, though, Dream Jillian would hopefully be a hazy memory. It was kind of bittersweet, though. I knew I couldn’t have a normal conversation with her if the memory was crisp, but part of me didn’t really want to let the dream go yet.
I sampled Grace’s apple-something coffee cake because she added sour cream this time and, apparently, that was a big deal. She was distracted revising a recipe for dinner Sunday night for veal saltimbocca so I didn’t get the usual third degree. She was muttering something about butter, garlic and gruyere, which I thought might be a cheese. Giving her a quick kiss on the cheek, I flew out the door, passing my bike in the driveway and hopping into the Lexus instead.
When I got to school, instead of dealing with Wakefield at my locker, Val Cooper was passing by instead.
“Luke! Where have you been hiding yourself these days?”
It was pretty well-known around school that Val liked to have a good time. She had a great body and wanted everyone to know it. Most of the guys at school would kill to go out with her. And while she had a nice rack, she was crazy as hell. I indulged her when she cornered me, but I wasn’t interested in half the school’s sloppy seconds.
“What’s up, Val?”
“What’s up? You tell me,” she purred. “Will I be seeing you at the bonfire next week?”
“Don’t know yet,” I replied casually. I wasn’t going to make the same mistake I’d made with Danielle. I was done talking about the stupid bonfire.
“You have to let me know then,” she added resting her hand on the arm of my jacket. “I’d like to see more of you.” She smiled, waiting for me to respond, clearly impressed by her double entendre. Unfortunately, I wasn’t. It sounded like bad porn dialogue to me, and no one watches porn for the dialogue.
“You’ll be the first to know,” I replied before heading to the library. If she didn’t come on so goddamn strong, she’d be all right.
Once I got into the library, I dropped the repair manual into the return bin. Connor Hentschel was sitting behind the librarian’s desk staring at something across the room. I turned to see what had him so distracted and saw that it was Jillian. It had only been a few days since I had pummeled Wakefield, my knuckles were still scabbed over, and I was already imagining pounding my sore fist into Connor’s face. I wasn’t sure when I started making it a habit of kicking people’s asses over some girl who wasn’t mine. That wasn’t okay. But fortunately when I glanced back at her table, I realized that she had been sitting with Connor’s girlfriend, Suzanne. I felt like an ass.
I really wasn’t ready to deal with her yet, and I was pissed at myself so I kept walking and decided I’d play it off like I hadn’t noticed her. That brilliant idea lasted about thirty seconds because as I walked by, my curiosity got the better of me and I looked up. She was staring right at me. I smiled and in a panic—I don’t know where it came from—but I winked. I walked straight to the door and the moment I made it back into the hall, I wanted to bash my head against the wall. Who the hell winks? Well, me, apparently.
>
I was pulling books out of my locker, feeling like an idiot, when I heard the door behind me. I knew it was her. When I turned around, I saw her walking my way, staring straight ahead, and I was sure she was ignoring me because I was the biggest douchebag on the planet—a douchebag who winks. I had no choice. I had to test the waters.
When we spoke, I noticed right away that there was something different about our conversation this time. While we fell into our regular back-and-forth and I teased her about her liquid lunches, it took every ounce of my self-control not to focus on her lips. I tried to keep the conversation light, but it wasn’t working. When I mentioned interrupting Scanlon’s class, her cheeks flamed, and it made it even harder not to stare. I commented on how much I enjoyed the performance, but she thought I was talking about Megan. While I wouldn’t deny that I noticed Megan’s legs, it wasn’t what I remembered most about that day. I only remembered Jillian.
I went on with my day, but no matter how hard I tried to put her out of my head, I couldn’t. When I finally made it back to my locker, I was about to grab a smoke out back when I saw Danielle heading in my direction.
“Luke!” she called from down the hall. “Wait up!” Pretending I didn’t hear her, I continued on, but sure enough began to hear the clattering of heels behind me.
“Luke! Slow down!” she shouted from behind me. “Jeez!”
“Hey kid,” I replied casually. “Did you need me?”
“Enough is enough, Luke,” she began seriously. “You have to go to the prom.” I needed to take Dream Luke’s advice and tell Josh that I’d kick his ass if he didn’t keep his girlfriend away from me.
“Why is that?” I replied indulging her.
“Because years from now when you’ve moved on from your rebel-without-a-cause phase, you’ll be reminiscing with friends and someone will tell a funny story about how they spiked the punch at prom and they’ll be like ‘What was your prom like, Luke?’ and you’ll be all ‘I didn’t go. It wasn’t my thing’ and they’ll be like ‘What the hell does that mean, Luke? It’s the freaking prom’ and you’ll feel stupid, and I don’t want you to feel stupid, Luke.” Once she finished, she took a deep breath, and I stood there speechless.
“C’mon. Walk with me,” she quickly added. “We’ll discuss how you’re going to ask her.”
I thought that maybe if I stayed really still she’d just go away. Wasn’t that how you treated predators in the wild? But she was still standing there, smiling and waiting for me to follow. The girl was exhausting. Her prom plans were inconsequential anyway. Jillian didn’t want to go to the prom with me so it didn’t matter. Why would I go through the trouble of asking her only to be turned down?
I didn’t feel like arguing with Danielle, so I walked with her to the cafeteria. She was detailing some complicated plan that involved notes in Jillian’s locker when we got there. I wasn’t really listening, but the parts that managed to sink in were damn near comical. I don’t write poetry. Before I needed to comment on her asinine plan, I spotted Josh sitting at a table with Nate Barrett.
“Luke,” he greeted. “What are you doing here? I didn’t even know you had this lunch.”
“I usually eat earlier, but I got tied up today,” I began, not wanting to admit why I had come. Danielle slid into the same seat Josh was in, which didn’t make sense because there were chairs everywhere.
“Well, grab a seat,” he replied. “Nate was just telling me about the training program they have at FSU.”
“So you’re headed to Florida?” I asked pulling out the chair across from Nate.
“Looks like it,” he replied with a sigh. He didn’t seem overly enthusiastic. “My dad’s an alum. It’s always been a dream of his for me to go there, and they have an amazing football program.”
“My mom got kind of crazy when I started applying, too,” Josh added rolling his eyes. “She didn’t want me to move away. She didn’t want me pre-law. She didn’t want me on the east coast. She had lots of opinions.”
“So what did you do?” Nate asked.
“Well,” he replied looking at Danielle. “I’m pre-law at Fordham next year while my little lady here is at NYU.” Danielle leaned in and kissed the Poor Bastard’s nose. Nate still looked deep in thought.
“Where did you want to go?” I asked.
“Florida’s awesome, really,” he began shifting uncomfortably in his chair.
“But…” I interrupted trying to get him to talk.
“Well, my granddad was a big college football fan. I would watch the games with him on Saturday afternoons, and I knew all the fight songs. But it was when I watched that movie Rudy that I started thinking about Notre Dame.”
I suddenly felt very sorry for him. He just looked so damn sad. As much as I hated disappointing Grace and Carter, I didn’t think I could make that big of a concession for them. Honestly, they would never have put me in that position.
“Did you apply?” Danielle asked.
“Yeah,” he replied, staring down at the straw in his drink. “I didn’t tell my dad, but I had to at least know if I’d get in.”
“So?” she coaxed.
“Yeah, I got in. But it doesn’t matter,” he replied brushing it off. “FSU has a great program, and who wouldn’t want to spend four years in Florida instead of South Bend? What the hell do they do out there anyway?”
“Florida does sound fantastic,” Danielle agreed.
“I don’t want to pry, Nate,” Josh added hesitantly, “but I think you’re making a big mistake. Especially if Notre Dame is your dream school.”
“You need to talk to your old man,” I added. I barely knew Nate, but I couldn’t stop myself from chiming in. If I had the opportunity to go to Notre Dame, I sure as hell wouldn’t let anything get in my way.
He was about to respond when Megan collapsed into the chair next to me looking pissed. I looked up and saw Jillian standing at the head of the table. She avoided eye contact with me, and it made me uneasy again.
When Danielle asked Megan why she was pouting, she launched into a crazy explanation involving Fantasy Football and the draft. Right away I recognized the look on Nate’s face. It was the same one I saw when Megan bent over the hood of Jillian’s car in Scanlon’s class. He had it bad. It was when Nate started to challenge Megan to some kind of a race after school that Josh leaned over to me.
“Twenty says she gets his pants around his ankles before prom,” he whispered so Danielle couldn’t hear. The prom was in less than a week. Despite the angry sex that was brewing between the two, I’d give them a little more time.
“You got it. I’ll give them until graduation,” I countered extending my hand.
Before I knew it, Megan was strutting out of the cafeteria with Danielle and Jillian in tow. Nate’s eyes were trained on her as she left.
“One of you jackasses could have stopped me before I stuck my foot in my mouth,” he complained.
“And interrupt that?” Josh replied with a smirk. “You’re going down, Chambers,” he whispered.
It was pretty funny seeing Nate so flustered. Jillian had been right. It wasn’t something I would’ve wanted to miss. I turned back to the door of the cafeteria and caught sight of her. She had been watching me, and I didn’t look away when our eyes met even though I knew I should. I wondered if I was as transparent as Nate.
Looking at my watch, I realized I had a few minutes before I needed to be in class so I headed out back for a quick smoke. I sunk down on the milk crate and leaned back finally feeling calm. Despite Danielle’s intensity, I liked hanging out with Josh and Nate. I could almost envision us all in Danielle’s “perfect” limo heading to the prom. Jillian would naturally be passing around her flask because we wouldn’t be able to make it through the evening without a few shots. Megan and Nate would probably be arm wrestling or whatever it was they’d do to get off. Josh, the Poor Bastard, would be wearing his top hat. And Danielle would be loving it because I had finally caved.
But,
again, it didn’t matter. Jillian didn’t want me to ask her. I almost wished she had never brought it up.
Heading to chemistry, I noticed a commotion in the hallway. Jillian was dashing towards me. She looked like she was about to cry. I grabbed her arm as she passed by me, and noticed her eyes were welling up and her face was flushed. If Wakefield was bothering her again I’d kill him. Her lip started to quiver, and I began envisioning all of the gruesome things I could do to him to make him pay.
She started to stammer through her tears. It was at least a relief that Wakefield wasn’t harassing her again, but I couldn’t understand what her flask had to do with anything. When she explained that Mrs. Jacobs confiscated it, and she was given detention, I realized why she had been all worked up. Detention wasn’t a big deal, and we could get another flask if that’s what she needed.
She stopped crying, but her eyes were still red and a few pieces of her hair hung loosely around her face. I hated seeing her this way. Without thinking first, I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and she smiled, blinking up at me through wet lashes. I was probably grinning back at her like an idiot, but I didn’t care.
I made a point to get to Mrs. Dupont’s for detention early. I wanted to be in the room before she got there so she wouldn’t get too freaked out. You never knew who was going to show up. I scanned the class and saw Lester carving up the desk again. Anne-Marie and Jon were about to screw on a desk in the back, and Cody was zoned out as usual. Pretty mild crowd.
When Jillian arrived, she peered into the room with wide eyes. Anne-Marie picked that moment to moan behind me. Jon had his hand up her shirt. When Jillian looked my way, I motioned her over. She was damn lucky that flask was empty or her parents would have been getting a really unpleasant phone call from Mrs. Jacobs, and she’d be getting a three-day suspension.
I was relieved when Mrs. Dupont arrived and told us to take out our homework. I needed to distract myself or I wouldn’t be able to stand up without physically declaring that I had been thinking about Jillian all day. I grabbed my chemistry report and read the same paragraph three times. To someone watching, it might have looked like I was engrossed in the most interesting thing I’d ever read, while in reality I was thinking about the drawer in Mrs. Jacobs’ room where she kept confiscated lighters and cigarettes. I had lost many packs and a few lighters to that drawer. She kept it locked and always had the keys on her. If I could swipe the keys, I would be able to grab the flask. I just needed to do it without throwing any suspicion on Jillian.
Living Backwards Page 9
