“What a goofball.” Riley shook her head at herself.
Riley recalled how pissed she had been at her mother and brother. This was the first holiday they’d spent together in years and Pépère had worked hard to make sure there was something for everyone under the spindly fake Christmas tree.
“Here you go, Riley,” Pépère said with a Marlboro hanging from his mouth. “Now it’s not new, but I hope you like it.”
Oh, I forgot about this, Riley thought as she teared up.
Riley watched her teenage-self open the pawnshop camera. It was her first camera that took actual film. The look of anticipation on Pépère’s face made her smile.
“Thanks,” she replied soberly.
She’d been so surprised that her grandfather noticed her budding interest. Of course, the jaded teenager downplayed her excitement.
“Take a picture of all of us,” Jay said way too eagerly, as he jumped up from the sofa.
Riley recalled the picture she’d taken. Her mother was tipsy, her brother was high, and her grandfather held his ever present cigarette as he hugged them close. The pitiful scene was indicative of how most of her life had played out, but Riley noticed something that she hadn’t before. The smiles on their faces were genuine. It was a rare sight.
The scene that followed made her frown.
“Let me out,” Riley yelled as she banged on the locked bedroom door. “This isn’t fair. You told me I could take the money for lunch.”
Riley recalled being shocked to find her mother awake when she came home from McKinley Elementary. Usually she was passed out after a day of drinking herself into a stupor. But not that day.
“Life isn’t fair,” her mother screamed the slurred words from the other side of the door. “I should take the hairbrush to you for lying.”
“Was she supposed to starve,” Riley heard Jay holler at their mother.
“Shut-up and go make dinner.”
Riley still couldn’t believe the responsibilities her brother was expected to undertake. He was all of twelve.
“How am I supposed to make the fucking mac and cheese, when you spent the grocery money on booze?” Jay retorted.
“I’m sorry ma fille. Your mother never really understood what I meant when I used to tell her that.”
Riley’s head swung to see her grandmother sitting beside her. She looked just as Riley remembered, before she got cancer. Her sweet grandma wore her favorite peach cardigan and the string of pearls passed down from her own mother.
“Mémère?” Riley exclaimed in shock and confusion.
“Well are you going to give me a hug or just sit there catching flies with your mouth agape?”
Riley swiftly wrapped her arms around her grandmother. It felt so good to see her. Riley took in a deep breath as she held her Mémère tight. She smelled faintly of Chanel and chocolate chip cookies, just like Riley remembered.
“He’s unusual,” Mémère commented as she pointed to the screen.
Cyprian appeared onscreen and Riley smiled wistfully. It was the first time she’d lain eyes on him, in the Miran Sona ship. Riley admired how strong and handsome he was. Wild and imposing.
Tears streamed down Riley’s cheeks as she wondered what she could’ve done to alter the horrific chain of events. She acted on the lesser of two evils, never fathoming Cyprian and Vintor would be casualties.
Riley always thought she was too jaded to fall in love. Few had come close to piercing her tough exterior. Then she met the general. Cyprian kept her guessing, riled and intrigued her. He forced his way into her heart, and made her feel alive. Losing him cracked her wide open, leaving behind an empty shell. Fate, the cruel mistress, had finally dredged the depths of her soul, stealing the very last thing she had to give.
“Life isn’t fair, Mémère,” Riley sobbed. “I loved him.”
“I have a story to tell you, ma fille.”
Riley heard the words in stereo. She looked at the screen to see herself as a child, sitting next to her frail grandma in the hospital.
“This is a story about a little plant called flax,” her Mémère continued. “The flax started as a seedling. It struggled in the dark, searching for the light, till finally it pushed through the soil. The flax unfurled its leaves as the bright and loving sun shone down. Some days the sun grew so hot that the flax thought it would surely burn, but then the cooling rains would come and give the little plant respite. This is how the flax spent its days, its beautiful little blue flowers stretching toward the sky as it grew proud and tall.”
“Then one day the harvesters came. The flax cried out as it was cruelly cut down, severed from its nourishing roots. If it wasn’t enough that its stems were broken and shredded; what remained was twisted into thread, then shoved into finely knit lines of fabric. It was cut and pierced with needles, till it no longer resembled the tall proud flax plant it once was. As all this transpired the flax lamented. It welcomed the overly hot sun over this torment.”
Riley smiled as she heard the story she’d forgotten.
“Finally, all grew calm again. When the flax saw itself in the mirror, it knew what it had become, and smiled. All it had suffered had been for a purpose. It was necessary, because now the flax had been transformed into a beautiful linen dress. The linen was content in its new role. It no longer served itself. It was still beautiful, but now it kept someone warm.”
“The linen’s new life wasn’t always easy. Sometimes it was stained and needed washing. Sometimes it got torn and needed mending. But the linen served its purpose proudly, and was happy, till the day it was cut into bits, shredded and blended into a watery grave. It did not understand how it could serve so faithfully only to come to this terrible end.”
“When the linen awoke, it found itself reborn as paper, bound in a volume with words written upon its pages. It was hard to fathom being so different and having a new purpose. But the paper was again proud as it was carried into the sunshine and read. It was happy, sharing the knowledge inscribed on its pages.”
“I get it,” Riley said as she cast her Mémère a watery smile.
Riley had cursed fate. She’d asked why me, and wondered what she’d done to deserve the hand she’d been dealt. She tried to help others and get ahead in life, but always thought her efforts amounted to nothing. Except she’d been wrong.
“The story is never over. Sometimes it’s painful, and we think all is lost, but there is always purpose.”
“I’ve been so angry at mom and Jay, and existence in general,” Riley exhaled. “I couldn’t understand why they refused to get their shit together. Why they continued to hurt me. I thought that if they loved me as much as I loved them, they’d find the strength to stop destroying our family. Because I’d walk through fire for them. But that wasn’t how they were made, was it.”
“No, ma fille. Life isn’t fair. Some of us persevere, grow stronger and more resilient, as we struggle beneath the same sun that burns those around us. With that strength comes responsibility, but you already know that. It’s why you beat yourself up, and make yourself crazy. It’s not necessary, ma petite fille. You bolster those around you with your efforts, successful or not. And in the end, that’s what makes a difference. It seems unfair to shoulder such a heavy burden. But what else in life, besides our labor of love, gives us purpose, and joy?”
Riley sighed and nodded.
“I’m just so tired, Mémère.” Riley looked up at the screen, to see the scene where Cyprian carried her through the esplanade to the private room, then admitted the truth. “I just thought I found someone to help me share the burden.” Riley shook her head as tears rolled down her cheeks. “I wish I could’ve loved him longer.”
“I know. I feel the same way about your Pépère, and about you, ma fille. I love you so much. But remember, the story’s never over.”
As terrible as it was to lose Cyprian, the thought of never having known him was far more devastating. The fleeting time she had to love Cyprian, in no way detracted from the inte
nsity of that love. She’d been gifted with something that had no measure. So, despite all that went wrong, she would get down on her knees and offer up a prayer.
Thank you.
Riley cherished the last scenes of her life as they played on the screen in front of her. And when it was over, she wished it would play again, instead of rolling through the long list of people who played a part in her life.
“Mémère, when you go back to the other side, can you give Cyprian a message for me?” She turned toward her grandmother, only to find she had vanished.
Riley pulled herself out of the seat and looked around the empty theater. Her grandmother was gone, just as mysteriously as she had appeared. It instantly reminded Riley how bizarre this situation was. Riley slowly walked down the aisle, searching the shadowy corners as she approached the exit at the rear. She pressed on the double doors, but they refused to budge. Distant, indistinct, and faintly recognizable murmurs captured her attention. There were people nearby.
“Hello?” Riley called out, as she shoved the doors harder. “I understand. I’m ready to leave. Please,” Riley pounded.
Cyprian de Praefectus
Cyprian impatiently stared through the window at the gray cruiser silhouetted by his home planet. The trip hadn’t taken nearly as long as it could have, but Cyprian was anxious. Every minute seemed like an hour, and hours like days.
Soon, he whispered as he ran a hand through Riley’s hair.
The general’s shoulders relaxed when Aculus released the loading bay door and Kagan exited the airlock, followed by Tytus, June, Ion and Jorg. June barely glanced at Cyprian as she rushed toward the gurney where Riley lay.
“Has there been any change?” June asked with a deep frown and eyes filled with tears.
“No.” Cyprian shook his head. Riley had been frighteningly quiet the whole trip.
“Jorg’s gonna get her fixed up. I’ll make sure that implant didn’t do any permanent damage,” Tytus told June as he wrapped his arms around her waist.
“She’s in good hands,” Jorg, their medic, promised.
Cyprian was glad Ion came, since she was an expert on human physiology. Still, it was hard seeing the Miran Sonan. The pale female looked gaunt. It was apparent Kagan had relayed the sad news about Exo.
“Ion, I’m sorry about Exo. Riley wanted to tell you herself, but…”
Cyprian couldn’t finish, instead he placed a fist to his chest and solemnly bowed to the wispy female. Ion nodded in appreciation, then joined June by Riley’s side.
“Daimio Kagan quo Rordan, let me introduce Aculus of the Osivoire,” Cyprian said, as he repeated the gesture of respect and bowed to his leader.
“Greetings, Aculus. Thank you for your hospitality.” Kagan bowed to bony warrior. “Cyprian glad to have you home.”
“Greetings, Daimio of Cadi. I appreciate your concession, meeting on my vessel. I hope you understand my hesitance to release the little human while she is in no position to agree or disagree.”
“And I appreciate your honor and willingness to bring Riley to Cadi so swiftly,” Kagan replied graciously.
“If you don’t mind, can we see your medical facilities,” Jorg interjected.
“Yes. This way,” Aculus replied as he led the way.
“We did a medical scan, but found no major injury. Her condition has to be related to the implant,” Cyprian interjected.
He pulled Jorg aside before they entered the medical bay.
“Riley has my conjugo mark on her neck. Please cover it with a bandage. I haven’t had a chance to speak to her about it.”
Jorg looked at Cyprian in shock. Cyprian hated the way Jorg eyed him critically. The guilt he’d been suppressing over bonding Riley without her knowledge and consent, surfaced. He didn’t need a reminder that he’d committed the most dishonorable of acts. But now that he was home, there was no avoiding it. Cyprian straightened his shoulders.
“I have a valid excuse. Please just do it. I don’t want Riley to learn what I’ve done from someone else.”
“Very well, but you must speak to the Daimio immediately.”
Cyprian tried to assist as they prepared Riley for surgery, but June shooed him out of the medical suite.
“Come. Have a drink with me,” Aculus said to Kagan, Cyprian and Tytus.
“Alright. Jorg will hail me when he locates the implant,” Tytus agreed.
“It’s good to see you safely home, my friend,” Kagan said to Cyprian. “I can tell you are worried about Riley. She’s in good hands. You have done well. Let’s pass the time by discussing how your mission went.”
“A lot has happened,” Cyprian replied as they reached a small seating area.
“I can leave you to your business,” Aculus offered after retrieving several tankards from a chiller in the wall.
“I doubt I have anything to report, that you aren’t already aware of,” Cyprian replied to Aculus, as he took the beverage offered.
“Cadi is looking for new allies,” Kagan stated as he accepted a mug. “Do you represent your people?”
“I’m a valued servant of the conclave. The elders respect my opinion,” Aculus replied.
“And what is your view of the Jurou Biljana?” Kagan shrewdly assessed the bony warrior.
“The Osivoire don’t associate with those self-serving slave merchants,” Aculus growled.
“Good. We learned the hard way what kind of people those reptiles are.” Kagan nodded, pleased by Aculus’ response. “I hope that when this is over you will be able to report back to your conclave that you have found the Cadi to be worthy.”
“When I first met your general, I was ready to put your people on our watch list. I thought you needed to be taken down to size when you were mocking Riley in the viewing gallery,” Aculus commented to Cyprian.
“Really,” Kagan replied as he cast a curious look toward the general.
“Riley looked devastated, something horrible must’ve just occurred. I wanted to cheer her up, but couldn’t since I was undercover. Having met a few humans, I thought that if I insulted her dancing and music, it would bring Riley around. Her anger was better than her despair,” he explained.
Cyprian was growing to like the bony warrior. He didn’t want Aculus to think he was entirely without honor, particularly since his actions were what Aculus was using to judge the Cadi.
“She did get pissed,” Aculus chuckled with a nod. “I’m surprised she didn’t kick you like she did her first handler.”
“Me too,” Cyprian laughed.
“And you say you don’t understand human females. Giselle would skin me alive if I mocked her dancing,” Kagan snorted.
“Daimio’s mate is human,” Cyprian explained to Aculus. “Kagan, don’t pull my tail about those rowdy females. Their heroics are enough to send me to an early rest.”
“True,” Kagan agreed with a knowing smirk.
“So, Riley was dancing on a stage?” Tytus inquired. “Is this customary at this sale?”
“When Riley was first paraded in front of the patrons, she reacted badly to being shown nude on the display screen. She fought her handler and was hauled out. That was when Exo tried to protect her and was killed,” Cyprian began.
“Riley told me she wanted to tell her friend, Ion, how her mate died,” Aculus commented with a nod, confirming Cyprian’s story.
“From what I understand,” Cyprian continued. “Riley convinced the auction house overseer that she could drive up her own price by dancing. In exchange, she wanted her necklace back, and she would tell the Jurou Biljana, Exo’s death was natural.”
“Is that the memory chip you mentioned?” Tytus asked.
“Yes. Exo hid his star chart amongst Riley’s music on the memory chip, then deleted the ship’s database.”
“As Ion expected. I sympathize with why Exo hid the chart. The Miran Sona vessel was attacked far enough from Cadi, that without the coordinates for the colony, they would’ve been adrift, if they survived the Jurou
Biljana attack,” Tytus shook his head at the dilemma Exo and Riley faced.
“I’ll say it again, the Osivoire matrons would adore that female. I remember how proud Riley looked when she got the data back. I was shocked when the Overseer sent her a gift while we were having dinner. It was unprecedented,” Aculus said proudly with a bit of awe.
“What dinner?” Cyprian demanded.
“I bid on the right to have a meal with Riley. That was another idea of hers.”
Cyprian gritted his teeth. He didn’t know Riley sat down and had a private meal with Aculus.
“That was very shrewd of her,” Kagan replied.
“At some point, she destroyed the chip in her pendant, then learned the Overseer had located the file, and was decrypting it,” Cyprian explained. “She also learned Aculus’ people were planning to destroy the asteroid.”
“My mission to Distraho was to destroy a particularly vile weapon. It could destroy a continent on your planet with no problem. I successfully destroyed the weapon, but like Riley, I learned the Overseer recorded the data from the control chip. It contained the locations of our allies and enemies,” Aculus grumbled.
“So, your people were willing to take out the entire asteroid to protect this information,” Kagan summarized.
“Yes. It couldn’t reach the wrong hands.”
“Riley bargained with Aculus to let her destroy Distraho’s data center,” Cyprian growled, still not happy that his female had been put in that horrible position.
“She coerced me into agreeing,” Aculus smirked. “But Riley did successfully blow up the data center.”
“That’s a relief, but wow,” Tytus exclaimed.
“I received a report from Vintor and Ashtoret. They were able to claim the Toufik and the smugglers, as well as the Miran Sona ship. From what I understand the Overseer was happy to be rid of them, as he sorts through all the damage to his establishment. Vintor asked me to relay that the Overseer is clueless to who caused the explosions.”
Cyprian was relieved hearing the news.
“Good. I’m not worried about retaliation, but it’s still easier if the Overseer remains ignorant,” Aculus said, also sounding pleased.
Warrior's Pain (Cadi Warriors Book 4) Page 25
