“I really am shocked to see you, Elise.”
“I know you are. I’m sorry about the way I reacted yesterday. It’s just that I wasn’t expecting to see you right then. I wasn’t prepared to deal with what I would feel when I saw your face for the first time.”
“Has my face gone ugly?” he asked with a crook of a smile.
“Actually, no. And that’s even more disconcerting,” she said, shyly smiling back at him.
“Oooohhh…. Are you saying I’m handsome?”
“I’m saying you look better than that picture from the newspaper.”
He nodded and sighed. “Ah, the newspaper. That’s what started this whole thing?”
“Yes. When I came into town, I saw the story and was shocked. Ben, how did you end up homeless? I just don’t understand. What about your Mom?”
“Mom died, Elise. Actually, she passed away about seven years ago.” Elise was heartbroken even though she hadn’t seen MaryBeth Campbell in many years. Ben’s mother was a wonderful, hard working woman who loved him dearly and did the best she could under the circumstances. But they were poor, plain and simple, and sometimes love just wasn’t enough. Ben never had the finer things in life, and it was all his mother could do to keep a roof over their heads most of the time.
“I’m so sorry, Ben. I had no idea. I loved your mother…”
“She was a good woman.” He paused. “I miss her.” She knew he was telling the truth about that. If there was one thing Ben Campbell was, it was a mama’s boy. He worshipped the ground his mother walked on, and he’d always appreciated how hard she worked just to allow him to wrestle in school.
“I know you do,” Elise said, reaching out and touching his hand without thinking. She quickly pulled her hand back and cleared her throat. “Ben, I need to understand… What happened to you?”
Ben took a deep breath and stared off in space for a moment, as if he was thinking of where to begin. “When we… lost touch… I tried to go on with my life. College was going well, and I thought I had everything on track. After my second year, I met some guys who wanted to start a band. Play bars on the weekends and stuff.”
“You always wanted to be in a band. I think there was some kind of inner rockstar trying to break free,” Elise said with a giggle.
“You know I love my guitar.”
“Oh yes, I’ve seen you with your guitar many times. You even named her… what was it?”
“Layla.” He covered his eyes and laughed. “How did you even remember that?”
“I loved that song,” she said humming the Eric Clapton classic.
“Well, me and old Layla decided to take a year off college and pursue that dream. Mainly, I was trying to get my mind off of you, El. Leaving you was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Every time something good happened, I wanted to call you. Every time something bad happened, I struggled not to dial your number. It never got any easier over the years, and I started to make some really stupid decisions to dull the pain…”
“What kind of decisions?”
“I started drinking right after your wedding,” he said softly. “And then it progressed into other stuff.”
“Oh no, Ben… And that’s how you ended up homeless?”
“In a way. I just didn’t care anymore. I traveled with the band all over the Southeast for about three years. We were really developing a following. Girls threw themselves at us whenever we wanted, but I was still miserable because the girl I wanted was gone.”
“Ben, you pushed me away, not the other way around! I would’ve been your friend forever. You know that.”
“That’s just it. I wanted more than friendship, El. I wanted it all, but I knew I didn’t deserve you. By the time I was knee deep in drugs and alcohol, you were married with a child. I knew I couldn’t call on you for help because I wasn’t about to wreck your life.”
“Why do you keep saying you wanted more than friendship? You never said a word to me, and you were adamant that we would always just be friends.”
“Because I knew it could never be.”
“What right was it of yours to make that decision? Again, did my opinion even matter?” she snapped.
“At the time, I thought I was saving you.”
“By destroying yourself?” she said, holding her hands up for emphasis. “Gosh, Ben, how things could have been different for you. I would’ve been there for you in every way. I would’ve saved you from this life you’ve been living…”
“But, Elise, it was the best thing that could’ve ever happened to me. Things happened as God intended it.” His words almost blew her out of the tree. God? He’d never talked about God. Sure, he seemed to believe in some etherial woo-woo kind of way that there was a “being” out there, but he and God were not buddies when she knew him.
“God?”
“Yeah….” he said, drawing the word out like she was the crazy one. “You know him, right?” he said with a smile. Elise smacked him on the leg, causing him to lose his balance and fall backward. Thankfully, he caught himself before he fell to the ground. “Woman, stop hitting me!” he said as he pulled himself back up onto the limb while panting for breath. “Maybe you need an anger management class.”
Elise started laughing and could barely contain herself. She hadn’t laughed that way in years… well, since the last time she was with Ben. He made her laugh at herself and every crazy thing that was happening in her world. He made her more of who she was.
Then she looked at him. Really looked at him. He was a man now, but his eyes were still the same ones that seemed to stare into her soul from the moment they met. And then she wondered if Ted had been a mere stand-in for the man she’d always loved. The thought pained her.
The truth was, she’d loved her husband. He had wooed her and taken care of her for most of their marriage. He’d known about Ben because she’d decided to tell him everything, but he’d never known how much she had loved Ben as more than a friend. What would’ve been the point of telling him something like that when Ben was never coming back anyway?
She was thankful that God had given her time with Ted, mainly because Jilly was the result of that. Yes, she had loved her husband and adored her daughter, but her soul mate had always been Ben in her mind.
“Why would God have intended for you to he homeless and addicted to drugs, Ben? That doesn’t sound right to me,” she finally asked.
“He didn’t cause me to make those decisions, Elise. Of course not. But we have free will. And when His child makes a wrong turn, he sets him back on course just like a GPS. That’s the way I see it.”
“His child?”
“Look, I know you haven’t seen me in years, El, and this must seem out of the blue, but I gave my life to Christ years ago. When I hit rock bottom, He was the only one there. You see, I had a moment with God that was life changing.”
“You did?” she asked, always interested in hearing about those sorts of things. Having grown up Christian, she often felt a bit slighted that she didn’t have this amazing story of hearing God’s voice and joining His flock. No, she’d been saved at ten years old in Vacation Bible School. No muss, no fuss.
“Yeah. When I landed in Seaview a couple of years ago, I was down and out. My band had broken up, my family was gone and you were living your life. I had nothing and no one. I’d run through what little bit of savings I had left. Seaview was the location of our last gig. My band mates were as strung out as I was, but when the money dried up they had families who took them in. I didn’t. So I met a lady named Mamie Sue…”
“Mamie Sue! I know her!” Elise said clapping her hands like a kid.
“She’s an amazing woman… and very unique,” he said with a smile. “She became like a surrogate mother to me. I lived out behind that bowling alley for almost two years, El. But those two years were some of the best in my life. When you’re at rock bottom, there’s nowhere else to look but up.”
“That’s very true,” she said, knowing that she hadn’
t done her best to “look up” since Ted died. She’d treated God like He was some distant cousin for months now.
“One day, I went out to the beach and decided that life was just too much for me,” he said, his facial expression darkening by the moment. “I thought life wasn’t worth living anymore.”
“Oh no, Ben…”
“I started walking toward the water. It was late evening, and no one was around. Just me and God. I was angry at Him, even though I really didn’t know Him. All I knew was what I’d heard you say when we were kids. I kept walking closer to the water…”
“Ben, you didn’t try to….”
“I did. I figured whatever was on the other side had to be better than what I was living in. I felt sorry for myself, and I was in drug withdrawals. I just wanted to end it, once and for all. As I got out deeper and deeper, I knew I was moments away from being gone from this world. My lips finally slipped under the water, then my nose. All I felt was this overwhelming sense of peace, El. I’d never felt it before. I didn’t feel like I was dying. Actually, I felt like life was just beginning. And then I heard His voice.”
“Whose voice?” she asked, inching closer to him without thinking.
“God’s voice. This booming voice came from nowhere under the water and said, ‘Anyone who is among the living has hope.’”
“That’s a scripture in Ecclesiastes,” Elise said as she put her hand over her gaping mouth.
“I know that now, but I sure didn’t know it at the time. I didn’t know any Bible scriptures. I quickly swam closer to shore to see who said it, but no one was there. Plus, I’d been underwater at the time. All I knew was that I couldn’t end it yet. I had to see what that meant, so that’s when I met Pastor Tex.”
“I adore him,” she said smiling sweetly at her old friend. His “story” was coming into focus for her now, and she felt terrible. Here she’d been harboring such resentment, totally focused on herself and her needs when Ben had been going through a spiritual transformation all these years. God had walked with him through the valley, and it had to be that way. God had protected her from being dragged down with Ben, but He’d never left either of their sides.
“Tex told me what I’d heard was a scripture. He also told me about the homeless meals, so I started coming to those. There isn’t a local shelter close by, so he offered me a room at his own home but I said no. I needed to make it on my own somehow, so I stayed with Mamie Sue. It wasn’t so bad. She’s not at all what she seems.”
“What do you mean?”
Ben looked around as if he was telling something top secret that no one else could hear. “Mamie Sue is a millionaire.”
Elise choked back a laugh and attempted to slap Ben on the leg, but stopped herself. Ben’s face was dead serious. “What?”
“I’m not joking.”
“Then why is she homeless?”
“She doesn’t have to be, El. Mamie Sue does it as her ministry. She uses the platform of homelessness to transform lives. I’m the only one who knows. Well, except for Pastor Tex.”
Elise was stunned. She’d judged Mamie Sue the first time she met her, assuming she was just some dementia addled old lady living in a parking lot. But she had chosen that lifestyle?
“How did she become a millionaire?” Elise asked, mesmerized by the story. “I mean, I talked with her once about her life and how she ended up on the streets. She said her husband committed suicide and left her destitute.”
“Well, that was true. But after being homeless for three years, Mamie Sue’s great aunt passed away and left her over a million dollars. By that time, she was settled here in Seaview doing her work with the homeless and just couldn’t see leaving.”
“I don’t get it. Wouldn’t her money be better used to help people?”
“She does use her money to help people, actually. Right now, her money is building the new local homeless shelter. Her money funds a lot of the homeless lunch at the church. And it’s her money that’s turning the old bowling alley into affordable housing for single mothers and their children,” he said. Elise didn’t even know the bowling alley was being remodeled into such a worthy cause. “Mamie Sue feels she needs to live among the people she helps so they’ll trust her. Her heart is not just to give money, but to give herself to those less fortunate. And, of course, to lead others to the Lord.”
“Wow. I had no idea. I guess I misjudged her.”
“A lot of people do, and I probably would have too had I not been so down on my luck at the time.”
“People are incredibly protective of you, you know? Every time I would mention your name, someone would jump on me. Mike, Rocky, even Mamie Sue to some extent.”
“They knew my story, and they knew all about you too,” he said, an admission that was shocking to Elise. He looked down at the ground below them, avoiding eye contact for a few moments. There was a glimpse of the shy Ben she’d first met back in middle school.
“Me? Why would they know about me?”
“Don’t you get it?” he said softly as he reached over and held her hand. This time, Elise forgot to move as she was too intent on hearing his words.
“I guess I don’t…”
“You were and are the most important person in the world to me, El. That never changed for me. I thought I was protecting you from my inevitable downfall, but I never stopped caring. And when I shared my story with the people in this town, I told them all about you. I had to come clean to someone, and they accepted me right where I was. When I returned that money, my life completely turned around. I’ve got a new place to live and a new purpose.”
“Ben, I’m so sorry that I’ve been hard on you,” she said softly. “I was just so resentful for so many years because I didn’t know why I wasn’t important enough for you to stick around. First, I wasn’t important enough for my father to stick around, then you and now Ted.” A tear trickled down her cheek, and Ben reached up to wipe it away sliding closer to her at the same time.
“Elise, your father had an addiction problem, and trust me, I know what that feels like. He had his own personal demons that he couldn’t control, but he loved you. He did, I saw it. And I left not because you weren’t important enough. I left because I loved you way more than I loved myself at the time, but I’m learning how to love myself now too. I realize there has to be a balance.” She nodded as she stared into his eyes, aware of how dangerous that was in the moment because all she wanted to do was to kiss him… finally. That seventh grade little girl in her wanted so badly for Prince Charming to finally kiss her.
But she was getting ahead of herself. She’d only just lost her husband, and she had Jilly to think about. Jilly! What time was it?
“Oh goodness,” she said frantically. “Jilly is getting out of dance camp in less than a half hour. I need to go.”
“Of course. Let me help you down,” Ben said as he jumped to the grass below. He reached both of his arms up and carefully hoisted her from the tree limb. For a moment, while he was holding her in his arms, the world felt safe and right again. They both paused, their faces within inches of each other, so close that she could feel his breath across her cheek.
“Th… thank you…” Elise stammered. Ben didn’t put her down as quickly as she thought he would.
“You’re welcome, El. Anytime,” he said softly as he smiled at her and slowly lowered her to the ground.
She started walking toward her car with Ben following closely behind her. Her legs felt like Jell-O and appeared to be barely holding her up. As she reached her door, she turned to him.
“Thanks for talking to me,” she said, all too aware that her face was still flush.
“Are you kidding me? This was one of the highlights of my life. Seeing you again feels like home. No matter what, I’ll always love you.”
“Ben…”
“It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted you to know,” he said, his dimpled smile making her feel even more weak in the knees. “Have a good
evening.” With that, Ben backed down the walkway and waved. “I hope to see you again soon.”
“How about tomorrow night?” she asked without thinking.
“What?”
“I want you to meet my daughter.” What was she thinking? Her mouth seemed to be operating without her brain.
“Are you sure about that? Because you look absolutely terrified. It’s okay if you want to retract that, El,” he said laughing.
“No, I’m sure, Ben. You’re my best friend, and I want you to meet Jilly. Unless you don’t want to…”
“Of course I want to.”
“I’d invite you tonight, but I need to see a friend who was put into hospice today…”
Always There: Christian Inspirational Romance Page 15
