i’d been at this party for a few hours now, and still, the only people I’d talked to were Marcus, Erica, and Chad. At the moment, I sat on a barstool that I’d pulled off to the side out of everyone’s way, where I’d been for the last forty-five minutes, or so. I’d been texting Justin to pass the time.
H: How’s the studying going?
J: Good. Boring but good. How’s the party?
H: It’s going.
J: That much fun, huh?
H: I just wish you could have come with me.
J: I know. I’m sorry, babe.
H: Don’t be. I know you have stuff to do. I’m just feeling a little sorry for myself.
J: I miss you, if it makes you feel any better.
H: I miss you, too.
J: Call me when you get home.
H: I will.
I knew he needed to be studying, so I left him alone. It may sound horrible, but I kind of hoped he was bored, too. I did miss him. He would have been the perfect buffer at this party. I needed the diversion from Marcus.
I hadn’t seen much of him tonight, anyway. I wasn’t even sure why I’d come. Oh, that’s right, to torture myself by watching Amy steal my best friend out from under my nose. I was so stupid.
I was leaving.
I got up from my seat and quickly spotted Erica across the room. I made my way over to her and waited for her to see me.
“Hannah! This is David. David, this is my best friend, Hannah.” She was excited as she introduced me to this guy. I could tell she was already a little drunk, which meant she shouldn’t be driving anyway.
“Nice to meet you, David,” I said to him and he smiled and nodded. Blond hair, green eyes, and dressed as Green Arrow, he was actually pretty attractive. Erica did well with this one. “Can I have your keys? I’m gonna go ahead and leave.” She frowned.
“You can’t leave!” She looked down at her watch. “It’s only midnight!” I shrugged and held out my hand for her keys and she actually pouted. “Fine!” She reached into her pocket and dug out her keys for me. Before I could say thanks, she had already turned back toward David. I wasn’t mad; I couldn’t be. Erica deserved to have some fun.
I waded through the crowd, hoping to make a clean getaway, but I caught Marcus out of the corner of my eye and noticed he was coming in my direction. I made it out the door and down the sidewalk before he called out to me.
“Hannah, where are you going?” I stopped and waited a minute before turning around and see him struggling to keep up with me, so I met him halfway.
“Home. I’m not really in the partying mood.” I tried to smile but I couldn’t.
“I’ve noticed. You’ve been a bit of a downer all night.” He stopped in front of me and folded his arms over his bare chest. “What’s going on with you?”
Something about the way he called me a downer really got to me. I wasn’t angry; I was upset. I wasn’t intentionally trying to be a downer, and I didn’t want to be seen as that person; that’s why I was leaving.
“Nothing. It doesn’t matter. I’m going home now so I won’t bring down your party anymore.” I started to turn away, but he grabbed ahold of my arm to stop me.
“Seriously, Hannah, what’s gotten into you? This isn’t you. This isn’t the Hannah I’ve known my whole life.” I could see the hurt in his eyes, but I couldn’t let that stop me.
“Well, things change, Marcus. People change.” I tried to turn away again, but he kept ahold of me.
“I haven’t changed, and I can’t for the life of me think of what could have happened to cause this change in you.” He let go of my arm and just stood there in front of me.
“Really, Marcus? Really?” I couldn’t hide the hurt and anger in my voice now. “Because Amy didn’t change you at all.” He blinked at me.
“Amy? That’s what this is about? Are you mad because I have a girlfriend now?” He was getting annoyed with me; I could tell.
“No. I just don’t like the way things have changed between us because of her.” I crossed my arms over my chest and looked away, afraid I’d start crying if I kept looking at him.
“Explain to me how things have changed between us because of Amy? Because from where I’m standing, you’re the one changing things. I’m trying here, Hannah. What more do you want from me?”
“You’re trying? Yeah, you’re trying so hard, aren’t you, Marcus?” Tears were forming in my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. “You’re letting her take over everything! I should be the one here helping you. I should be able to come and see you whenever I want, but she’s always here! She’s ruining everything!”
“I don’t believe this,” he said quietly as he took a moment to look around before taking a deep breath and looking back at me. “She’s my girlfriend, Hannah. This is what girlfriends do.”
“But if she wasn’t around, who would have been doing them for you?” I looked him square in the eye, daring him to say I was wrong.
“Honestly? Probably Chad.” He looked angrier the more we talked.
“What?” I couldn’t believe he’d just said that.
“Yeah, Hannah, because I can’t imagine your boyfriend being okay with you staying here with me.” He just had to throw Justin into this.
“Whatever, Marcus.” I turned away from him and wiped my eyes.
“You know what, Hannah? Go home and get your shit together. I can’t deal with this right now.” I turned to see him walking away, but he suddenly turned back around. “You need to grow up, Hannah. The world doesn’t revolve around you. I don’t belong to you.” And with that, he turned and walked slowly back into the house.
I wiped my eyes and turned back toward the car, angrier now more so than upset. I couldn’t believe what Marcus had just said to me. I got in the car and started it, taking off toward the house when I got an idea. I’d surprise Justin at home. He said he would be home all night tonight and I needed a huge distraction. I needed a release. I could only hope he would feel the same way.
i went home and changed, making sure to put on something extra sexy for Justin before heading toward his apartment. I knew why he said he never invited me over. I'd just assumed it looked like a typical bachelor pad, considering Derek was enjoying the single life. Justin was too, until about a month ago, that was. But I didn’t care about that. It wouldn’t bother me if it was a little messy. Why didn’t he know that?
I parked a block away from his building so there wasn’t a chance of him seeing my car and got out, walking swiftly to the front door. Once inside, I took the stairs rather than the elevator. It was slower this way, but I had a less likely chance of running into Justin on the stairs. He always took the elevator.
I got to the third floor and walked down the hall, looking for his door. I finally got to 315 and took a deep breath. I stood there for a couple of minutes before I finally remembered to let out the breath I took and knock on the door. Bouncing on the balls of my feet, I started making a small circle as I waited. My back was to the door when it opened. My smile grew as I turn toward the door…
Just to have it completely fall from my face.
i limped around the house with a trash bag, trying to keep my anger at bay, but it was hard. Amy was seeing the last of our guests out, so I took this opportunity to throw some things in the trash bag, just to throw something.
I was completely appalled by what had happened earlier between Hannah and me. I couldn’t believe I didn’t see what was going on with her sooner. I honestly thought she was still upset with me over our fight about Justin weeks ago. Apparently, I was very wrong.
“So, are you gonna tell me what ruined your night now?” I turned to see Amy walk into the kitchen, grabbing some trash off the counter and bringing it to the trash bag I was holding.
“Nothing.” I didn’t know why I didn’t just tell her. I guess part of me wanted to figure it out without Amy picking sides. I didn’t want her to hate Hannah, but I wouldn’t be able to blame her right now. Hannah crossed a line tonight
.
“Okay. We’ll pretend like I believe that.” She sighed and bit her lip as she looked up at me. “Just tell me you’re okay. If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine. I’m just worried about you.” How did I get so lucky?
Amy never pushed me; she never had to know anything I wasn’t already willing to tell her. She didn’t wonder who I was texting, or ask why I took some phone calls out on the patio. I didn’t have anything to hide. She trusted me. The least I could do was trust her to be rational about all of this.
“I’ll be okay.” That was all I said for the moment. She nodded, accepting it.
We moved around the kitchen, picking up the trash from the party. Neither of us said anything for a little bit. I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened, about what I’d said to her. Yes, it needed to be said, but I could have been nicer. Maybe. I didn’t really know. Apparently nice wasn’t going to get through to her. Hopefully, the things I said tonight would.
I started thinking about all the times we’d spent together since she started dating Justin and I started dating Amy. Was it all right there in front of my face and I didn’t know? I still wasn’t convinced it was because Hannah was harboring these secret feelings for me, like Chad seemed to think. He’d mentioned it the few times we talked about how strange she was acting lately. But even if it wasn’t something that big, this was big enough. I could understand friend jealousy. I felt it myself when I heard about Justin, but I didn’t do the things she’d done.
The fight we got into about Justin came to mind. Did I come across as just a protective friend that night or something more? I knew Amy had asked Chad about it, but I wasn’t sure if that was just her checking on that or if she honestly saw something there. I couldn’t bring myself to ask. I didn’t want to know the answer.
I finally stopped what I was doing and turned to Amy, who was still picking things up around the house. She was in the living room now. I watched her for a minute, taking a deep breath before saying anything. She deserved to know what was going on.
“Hannah and I got into it again tonight.” I leaned on the counter, holding the bag open for Amy.
“I was afraid of that.” She stopped in front of me to drop the trash in her hands in the bag and looked at me with a worried expression. “Are you all right?” I shrugged.
“I was pretty harsh with her.” Amy stepped closer as I spoke.
“About what?” She took the trash bag from my hands and stepped into my arms as I opened them for her.
“Honestly?” I asked and she giggled softly.
“No, I want you to lie.” She narrowed her eyes playfully. “Yes, honestly.” I grinned for a second and then sighed.
“About you,” I said quietly and Amy blinked, biting her lip.
“What about me?” She didn’t really sound surprised, just curious.
“She said you were ruining everything by being here all the time when it should be her because she’s my best friend.” I sighed and tightened my hold around Amy’s waist. “You would have thought you were the best friend and she was the girlfriend from how she was acting.”
“Do you feel like I’m ruining things between you and Hannah?” she asked, sounding genuinely concerned about it. It took me a few seconds to reply. I wasn’t sure how to approach it.
“What? No. Not at all.” I took a deep breath, trying to give myself a minute to think. “Hannah and I have always had each other. Usually, just the two of us. She just took it too far this time.” I sighed. “That’s what I got harsh about with her tonight.”
“You would tell me if I had something to do with it, though, wouldn’t you?” I couldn’t help but chuckle a little at her question, making her glare a little.
“Of course I would, if I thought it was unintentional. If I thought you were doing something to purposefully tear us apart, I wouldn’t be with you,” I told her honestly. She nodded, clearly lost in thought.
“Do you think Hannah is trying to tear us apart?” she asked quietly, which made me think she wasn’t sure if she wanted to ask me that or not.
I thought about it for a minute. Was Hannah capable of doing something like that? I couldn’t see it from her a couple of months ago, but now? I really couldn’t be sure. She’d changed so much in the last few weeks; her whole demeanor had changed, especially when it came to me.
“I really don’t know.” I sighed again, absentmindedly rubbing Amy’s back. “She’s never acted like this before when I dated someone else. She may not have been thrilled, but this has never happened.” I looked down at Amy, pulling her lip from between her teeth with my thumb. “I told her to go home and grow up, that I didn’t want to deal with her right now.”
“Did she say anything back?”
“I didn’t give her a chance. I reminded her the world didn’t revolve around her, that I didn’t belong to her.” Amy just looked up at me. I couldn’t tell what she was thinking, but at that moment I’d have done anything to read her mind. “I’ve never been mean to her before.”
“Marcus, you weren’t being mean. At least not for the sake of being mean. You’re not a mean person. You said what needed to be said.” She rested both hands on my chest as I held her to me. We stood like that for a little while before either of us said anything.
Amy came forward, pressing her head to my chest between her hands. I leaned down to kiss the top of her head, letting my lips linger there for a moment. As bad as things were between Hannah and me, at this moment, I was happy. With Amy in my arms, the rest could wait.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, you know,” Amy said before kissing my chest and looking up at me.
“I know.”
“I’m proud of you.” She pushed herself up to be able to kiss my lips and I chuckled lightly.
“What for?” I asked and she sighed. There was no humor there.
“For standing up for yourself,” she said, looking down at my chest. My brows furrowed in confusion as I waited for her to continue. She didn’t.
“What do you mean? When do I not stand up for myself?” I waited a minute and she finally looked up at me with a small smile.
“That’s not what I meant.” Her fingers drummed along my chest. “What I meant was,” she sighed, “in the time I’ve known you, and known Hannah, I’ve noticed you both have this kind of relationship where…how do I put this?” Her face was scrunched up as she thought. “You both tend to make excuses for each other.” She made a face like she was waiting for me to get mad. I laughed a little.
“We don’t do that.” She snorted as I spoke.
“You don’t?”
“No,” I said, but I didn’t know if I believed myself.
“Marcus, I hear you say things all the time like, ‘She’s just getting to know you’ or ‘She’s still mad about this or about that’ to explain her behavior. And I know she did the same for you when you guys fought about her boyfriend.” She grinned like she understood and to tell me she wasn’t mad. I opened my mouth to say something, but shut it before I could. I didn’t know what to say.
Amy knew me better than I thought. I never thought much about it before, but she was right. Chad had made jokes about it, but I played it off like it was just that, a joke. I took a deep breath and gave Amy a small smile.
“Maybe I do.”
“There is no maybe.” She smiled. “You do. That’s why I’m proud of you. You told me what happened, and I expected you to second guess yourself and start making excuses for her again. But you didn’t. You stood your ground.” I leaned down to kiss her as she finished talking and she smiled against my lips.
“I’m not going to let her tear us apart,” I whispered against her lips and I could feel her slight nod.
“I know.” She pulled back to smile up at me before slowly backing away.
“Where do you think you’re going?” I asked, raising a brow.
“Stay.” She held up her hand to stop me from coming toward her and then pointed to a barstool behind me. “Si
t.”
“I’m not a dog, princess,” I said as I sat anyway, making her smile.
“Rest your leg and I’ll clean this up really quick.” She turned and started gathering more trash that was spread around the kitchen.
I leaned to my side and rested my arm on the bar next to me. I put my head in my hand and just watched as she moved around the room. I’d been admiring her outfit all night, but now, if it was even possible, she looked even sexier in it. Especially when she would randomly look up at me, with that sexy smile of hers I liked so much, as she worked.
I could be an outfits in the bedroom kind of man.
There was no sense in staying angry about the whole Hannah situation. I told her what I needed to tell her and that was all I could do. She had a lot of changing to do before we could even think about resolving this now. Right now, I wanted to keep my attention solely on Amy, who was right here in front of me.
I stood up and slowly walked over to where she was currently bent over as she picked up a cup off the floor with her backside to me. I deliberately pressed myself against her ass while placing my hands on her hips.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t see you there,” I said to her as she froze. “Don’t mind me. Please, continue.” I grinned when I heard her giggle, but she didn’t move at first.
As I was just about to say something, she started moving back against me, humming as she grabbed a couple more pieces of trash like she had no idea what she was doing to me. I groaned and tightened my grip on her waist. Little tease.
“Excuse me,” she said, wiggling her ass a little more, “I have work to do.”
I leaned down around her and grabbed the bag she had, tossing it to the side. She gasped in fake protest, but before she could say anything, I pulled her back into a standing position. I continued to press myself against her back, my hands resting on her stomach.
Torn Page 21