by Lauren Smith
Cedric quickly saw the point of this discussion. “And you would be living in your office, eyes fixed to your investment figures the entire day.”
“Exactly. Yet here we are, you and I, enjoying a day of fishing. It is like we are boys again, or rather not boys so much as we are regaining the essence of our younger selves.” Ashton’s voice was rough with emotion. “Forgive me, Cedric. I speak nonsense.”
“No. You are right. Things are changing. We can’t go back to the men we used to be. Nor even the boys we once were. So where does that leave us? The only route is forward, but what lies ahead?” Cedric voiced the question he knew was plaguing Ashton’s heart.
“What indeed.”
“I, for one, blame Emily. That little scamp has gotten the lot of us into this mess. Of course, I have to thank her as well. If not for sweet Em, then I would not have Anne.” The thought of an Anne-less world sent a shudder through him.
“I too find it most amusing. Abducting her was the most foolish and yet somehow the wisest thing we ever did. I dare not think who Godric would be with today without her, or Lucien for that matter. He was getting darker, you know, in his desires. I was starting to worry.” Ashton’s admission caught Cedric off guard.
“What? I had no idea he was…”
“Oh yes. He was getting fonder and fonder of multiple partners. He was finding no satisfaction in bed play anymore. Men like him can burn out, and without love to fuel their passion, they fade away. Horatia’s love for him saved his soul. He won’t ever grow weary of her, I think. Love like theirs doesn’t fade.”
“It better not,” Cedric grumbled. The thought of his best friend leaving his sister to bed other women put a sour taste in his mouth. He didn’t want to think Lucien was capable of it, but he knew the man only too well. But thus far, his sister and his friend seemed lost in each other, and with the baby on the way, Cedric felt their world was looking up.
“Oh dear…” Ashton’s voice was sharp with surprise.
“What?” Cedric sat up so abruptly the boat rocked from side to side, and cool water lapped up over the edges, soaking his shins. “What is it, Ash?”
“You must promise not to get angry.”
Cedric growled low in his throat. “Ash…”
“It’s your wife.”
Cedric’s heart lurched and panic seized him. “What about her?”
“She’s swimming in the other side of the lake.”
“Swimming?” he echoed, as his brain tried to decide if this was bad news or not.
“In nothing but her chemise. I highly doubt the doctor would want her to reinjure her shoulder.” Ashton added this last comment as an amused afterthought.
Cedric fumbled for an oar and shoved it into Ashton’s lap. “Row! Now!” he bellowed.
Chapter Seventeen
Clad only in her chemise, Anne headed toward the water. She felt rather wicked, being so scantily clad, but this was her property now, by virtue of marriage, and she wanted to do this. Only her husband had the power to stop her from doing as she wished, and he was far off on the other side of the lake. The thought almost made her laugh. He would be furious no doubt, but rather than scare her, the idea instead amused her.
It had been awhile since she’d indulged in such improper behavior of swimming in her underclothes. Even though she remembered little of her past, she couldn’t deny how freeing the water felt lapping at her bare legs. As she pushed deeper into the cold lake, a memory surfaced.
Frolicking in the shallows of a similar lake, an older man watching her, an indulgent smile on his kind face. She laughed, a child’s laugh, happy to play while her father remained close.
The pain of seeing that man’s face for only a moment cut deep.
Papa. He had been dead only a week before she rushed to the altar? What had motivated her to do such a thing? Why had she married Cedric? And furthermore, why had Cedric agreed to it? No doubt the scandal of it would be the talk of the ton for the next decade. Anne placed a hand on her stomach, wanting to ease the creeping dread that settled there.
Focusing back on her desire to swim, she tiptoed farther out until she was waist deep, the chill of the water a stark contrast to the warmth of the air. It would take her ages to coax herself out fully at this rate. There was no other option but to plunge in. She dunked herself under and gasped at the sheer iciness of the water.
Soon the cold water felt good against the hot burn of her healing shoulder. She used her good arm to paddle out a bit farther and kicked her legs. This was her element, the physical pleasure of knowing one’s body and understanding how it worked.
She stretched her limbs, feeling the muscles strain and work—it felt so good. Anne wasn’t a thin woman. She was curvaceous with a bit of natural strength that tended to make gown fittings irritating when the dressmaker muttered about how she bulged in the wrong places. Her body wasn’t perceived to be beautiful, not by the standards of the ton, but she’d stopped caring about such things long ago. That much she was sure of.
Anne swam far out into the lake, momentarily forgetting to keep her eye on Cedric’s fishing boat. It wasn’t until she had dived deep a few times before she noticed the fishing boat had pulled up onto the shore and a scowling viscount stood at the bank’s edge glaring in her direction.
Cedric tapped his booted foot in the soggy grass, creating an odd squelching sound. Anne stifled a giggle as she read the look in his sightless gaze. He was promising her punishment for her wanton recklessness. Farther back, Lord Lennox was conversing with Hartley, both keeping their backs to her. Anne went as still as possible, using her legs and good arm to tread water.
“I know you are there, Anne. Come out at once. You should not be risking yourself, not with your shoulder.” He punctuated this with a jab of his index finger at the ground near his feet, as though to make her heel like a spaniel.
“I’m not coming out with you there,” she responded, trying to keep from laughing at her sudden need to play the imp.
“I cannot see you and the others aren’t looking.”
“No,” she stoutly refused. The clenching of his fists told her that once she was within his reach she’d be in trouble—what sort of trouble she was unsure, but she doubted he’d hurt her.
“Go in after her, Cedric,” Ashton hollered over his shoulder.
Anne gasped at the forwardness of his suggestion. She was nearly naked and the idea of Cedric catching her swimming in nothing but her chemise was exciting, and a tad frightening.
“Please, Anne. I haven’t swum since I lost my sight.”
“Since when does one need to see in order to swim?” His admission managed to calm her a little and she tried to tease him. She was afraid and so was he, even if their fears were different.
“Please do not make me drag you out. It will be unpleasant for us both.”
“Cedric, wait.” Anne wanted more than anything to connect with him, to uncover the reasons that had made her marry him. “Why don’t you come out into the shallows, join me for a minute. If you don’t, I might be tempted to stay here and grow a tail. Would you like that, husband? To have to come and find me in my underwater grotto?” Trust me, she urged.
“No.”
Now he was the one refusing to cooperate. What an amusing situation they found themselves in.
“Do you plan on hiding in a shell for the rest of your life, husband? Come into the water as high as your waist, get reacquainted with it.”
“She has a point, Cedric,” Ashton cut in.
“You may return with Hartley back to the manor,” Cedric said, his voice a little gruff.
“Very well. Come find me this evening.” Ashton turned and walked away with the footman.
“Are you truly going to make me come in after you?” Cedric knelt down to pull off his boots and roll up his trousers.
“Most definitely.
”
Anne’s eyes fixed on Cedric’s muscled calves as he began to gingerly walk into the water. He got in knee-deep before he paused and tilted his head, as though listening for any sign of her. Anne had the sudden feeling he was hunting her. She held her breath and drifted farther back, but a startled fish splashed by her shoulder. Cedric lunged for her and toppled into the water. His cry of alarm startled her. She swam for him, catching him about the waist as he flailed in panic.
“Put your feet down. It’s shallow here,” she urged.
“I know.” He suddenly stood and grasped her body, hauling her to him. A hunter victorious, he smiled and curled his arms around her back, hugging her.
Cedric relaxed. He was blinking rapidly, water streaming in rivulets down his face as he clung to her. As his breathing began to slow he bent his head, resting his chin on the top of her head.
“You’ll be the death of me, Anne,” he murmured. The warmth of his breath against her temple made her skin break out into goose bumps.
Trembling, she stroked his cheek, watching his empty brown eyes fix on something distant. The vast emptiness there was starkly beautiful, like a tragic hero from an opera. He called to her, begged for her to fill him with love and light.
“Why do I trust you?” she whispered. “I should be terrified that I remember so little of my life, yet thoughts of you ease my fears. Why?”
Cedric was silent for a moment. His large hands spanned her back, making her feel small in a way she’d never felt before.
“From the moment I met you, you captivated me. You were clever, but also sweet and innocent. Then that innocence was ripped from you and you remained strong and alone. I saw myself in you, a kindred spirit. We bear our burdens and fight to keep those we love happy and safe. It was inevitable that I would want you, desire you the way I do.”
She combed fingers through his wet hair, brushing it out of his eyes. “What was our wedding like?”
He gave a boyish smile. “Perfect. You were the loveliest bride to grace St. George’s.”
“Flattery from a blind man?” she teased. “I wonder if that’s reliable.”
“I knew how you would look, and then I held you in my arms, your scent, your touch. You were perfect. We were both happy.”
“Were?”
“We quarreled a few days ago. I left and you fled into the night. That’s how you came to be wounded.” Cedric massaged her shoulder and sighed.
Anne pressed her body into his, molding herself against him, and he moaned. “Can’t we forget all of that? Can we not start over?”
“Darling, I’m doing my best not to ravish you senseless at this moment. It would be unfair to you in your condition. I will not have you remember me as a monster.” Cedric’s valiant and honorable words were somewhat diminished by the insistent press of his arousal against her hip beneath the water.
“Have we made love before?” She wanted him to say yes. It would explain her body’s recognition of his, her desire whenever he touched her.
“We’ve come close. In the library of Godric’s townhouse.”
A flicker of memory overtook her. A couch, two bodies tangled on it, teeth sinking into her neck as she climaxed around his fingers. Anne shuddered in Cedric’s arms.
“I think I remember that, or at least my body does.” It never ceased to amaze her how easy it was to be so open and honest with him.
Cedric responded with a honey-rich laugh. “I would hope so, you little hellion. It was quite the experience for both of us. I’ve never had such pleasure watching a woman come apart in my arms.”
Anne was thankful he could not see her blush. Despite her body’s initial warmth, the cold water was starting to settle into her skin. Cedric’s hands ran the length of her arms as he tried to warm her.
“I believe we’ve had enough swimming for the day. Shall we go?” It wasn’t so much a question as a politely phrased command. She didn’t mind, however, because she was getting colder by the minute.
“Yes, let’s get inside.” Anne guided him out of the water and tugged him to a halt by her pile of clothes. He put on his boots and waited patiently as she drew her gown over her body, ignoring the discomfort of her wet skin sticking to the fabric. Once she donned her slippers and fastened her garnet necklace about her neck she took his hand. They walked back to the house in amiable silence, until the shrieking of the housekeeper sliced through the air.
“Never in all my years!” The elderly woman paused to poke Cedric with the cane he’d left at the manor. “Swimming without someone to watch over you? And in your clothes, no less?”
Anne waited for Cedric to berate the housekeeper for her treatment of him, but the viscount merely smiled.
“We’re fine. Send someone to light my bedroom fire and bring something to eat in an hour.”
The housekeeper scoffed loudly and walked off. Cedric wrapped an arm about Anne’s waist, tucking her into his side and kissing the crown of her hair. The teasing and affectionate gestures he so often did without a second thought made her melt inside. Was this love, or something close to it? She hoped it was with all of her heart. In this new world where she was so alone and her memories so dim, the thought of being loved was her oasis in the desert.
“I can feel you thinking. What is it?” Cedric asked as they ascended the stairs.
Anne nibbled her lip, debating on what to tell him.
Cedric patted her waist. “Come, sweetheart, talk to me.”
“I want to be happy, and I feel that maybe we will be. Do you think me very foolish?”
“To hope for happiness? Never, my heart, never.”
“How do you always do that to me?” she whispered, her voice shaking with emotions she was afraid to let out.
Cedric’s face lined with concern. “Do what?”
“Make me feel strong, even when I feel the weakest I have ever been.”
The corners of his eyes wrinkled into fine lines as he smiled. “We are kindred spirits. You make me whole again. When I am with you, Anne, the darkness in my eyes ceases to penetrate my soul.”
Anne’s own eyes suddenly burned with tears. What a tragedy for him, to know the life he loved had been changed forever. There were so many things he could no longer do. The thought that she could help him was a powerful one, a wonderful one.
Cedric led her into his room. It was dark, the curtains pulled over the window, making Anne feel that it was evening rather than midday.
Evening. Such an intimate hour of the day. She couldn’t help but imagine that he might finally take her to bed, despite his insistence he would not until she was better. He pulled a cord and a maid appeared immediately. Her eyes widened as she took in the soaked clothes of her master and mistress.
“Molly, would you be so kind as to fetch Anne’s nightgown and have a footman prepare a bath here in my chamber?”
Anne blushed as Cedric tugged her toward his dressing room. A large metal tub awaited her behind a screen, big enough for two people.
“Wait here.” Cedric went around the other side of the screen to change his clothes.
Through the dim light Anne could only hear the rustle of fabric, the whisper of it on skin. Her body began to ache. One peek, she promised herself, and leaned around the edge of the screen. Cedric had stripped every bit of clothing off, with his back to her as he shuffled through a collection of clean shirts, his hands rubbing the cloth between his thumb and forefinger as though measuring the quality of the textures.
Anne, however, could not keep her eyes off his hips and buttocks. The sculpted flesh looked hard and trim. She had the sudden urge to dig her fingers into it, to urge him to take her body now, and to hell with waiting. Anne made an involuntary sound as he spun around, revealing his front. That male part of him was there before her eyes and she swallowed hard. He was incredibly large. Too large.
Her thighs
clenched together. That would never fit.
“Everything all right, darling?” he called out, unaware she could see him.
Anne ducked behind the screen and responded. “Yes, I was just cold.” A blatant lie. Her body was hot enough to warm the entire lake.
More soft rustling, the sound of bare feet and then Cedric came around the screen in a loose shirt and snug trousers. His feet, Anne noticed with fascination, were large and beautiful. She’d never thought feet could be lovely, but his were. The feet of an athletic man. He padded over to her and kissed her forehead.
Anne was overcome. This beautiful, seductive man was all hers. How did she come to deserve him?
“A hot bath and warm meal will do you good. How is your shoulder? I want the doctor to come and put a new sling on as soon as you are done here.”
“It aches a little, but otherwise it’s fine. The doctor set the shoulder well.”
“Thank heavens for that.” Cedric sighed against her cheek before kissing her lightly.
A few minutes later Anne was stripping off her clothes and easing into the steaming bath. Cedric remained close by, and although he could not see her, Anne felt exposed and vulnerable nonetheless.
“Feeling better?” Cedric asked as he knelt by the tub, his hands coasting along the outer rim, moving slowly toward her upper body as though he was trying to find her.
“Immensely.” Anne rubbed her sore neck. It ached occasionally, probably from her accident. The second she shut her eyes, Cedric’s hands descended on her shoulders from behind. She was about to protest, but he shushed her and began a relaxing massage. The intimacy of the moment felt blindingly familiar. A splash of memory, white lace and the smell of roses and orange flowers, and Cedric’s healing hands.
“You are so wonderful at that,” she said drowsily. He rubbed a knot out of her shoulder and answered with a throaty laugh before kissing her neck.
“Are you tired?”
“A little,” she admitted, balling a fist against her yawning mouth. “But it’s only the afternoon and I can’t sleep yet.”
