by Melissa Hill
“But that’s exactly it. I haven’t done anything. A few orders a week from the internet and the odd bit of interest from the shops – it’s hardly setting the business world on fire, is it?”
“It’s something,” Nicola countered, “not to mention something to be proud of. Don’t lose faith in your abilities, Laura, and don’t write yourself off just yet.”
“I suppose I’ll just have to see how the exhibition goes.” Suddenly, Laura didn’t want to talk about it any more.
“It’ll be fine. To be honest, I think part of the problem is publicity. Your product is great – you just haven’t had enough exposure.”
“Thanks, Nic,” Laura smiled.
“Um, Laura?” Nicola sniffed the air, and gestured towards the oven. “I think your roasties might be ready.”
“Oh, shit!” Laura opened the oven door and a thick blanket of smoke rushed out. She looked at Nicola in dismay, her cheeks reddening with annoyance. “Nicola, I think now would be a good time to join the others,” she said through gritted teeth.
“Yes, Mammy.” Nicola sped off, anxious to make a quick exit.
“And Nicola?” Laura called.
“Yes?”
“Do you think Sour Cream & Onion Pringles would make a decent substitute for roast potatoes?”
“With lamb?” Nicola grinned. “They’ll be absolutely perfect!”
“Good, and I hope Helen and this Paul guy won’t be too much longer,” Laura said, taking a fistful of crisps and trying to calm herself. “I’m absolutely starving!”
* * *
An hour and a quarter later, they were still waiting, Ken and Neil having hungrily demolished the crisps between them.
“I’ve tried Helen’s mobile and there’s no signal,” Laura said, trying to suppress her annoyance. The lamb would be like rubber at this stage.
“They’re probably just running late,” Neil said, his tone soothing.
“If they’re running late, the least she could have done is to have phoned,” Nicola said, her irritation palpable. “But of course that would mean Helen thinking about someone other than herself, wouldn’t it?”
“She’ll be here,” Ken said, giving his girlfriend a warning look. “There’s no point in our –”
A loud shrill of the doorbell cut short the remainder of his sentence.
“That’s them,” Laura said, getting to her feet. “Neil, can you get that, and I’ll get the starters?”
“Sure.” Neil hopped up to answer the door.
Seconds later, Helen joined Laura in the kitchen. Laura thought she looked amazing, with her blonde hair swinging freely around her shoulders, and dressed in a stunning black beaded dress, the material clinging faintly to her curves – what few there were, she thought, with uncharacteristic sourness.
“Hi,” Helen said happily, moving forward to give her a hug. “Everything nearly ready here? I’m famished!”
Laura was taken aback at this casual greeting and barely returned it. She had expected an apology, or at the very least some kind of excuse as to why Helen was over an hour late. “What kept you?” she asked. “And where’s Paul?”
Helen beamed. “Outside showing Neil his new Audi. The two of them seem to have hit it off already, thank God.”
Laura bit her tongue. “Well, go on in and join the others. Dinner might not be great after being kept this long,” she added pointedly, “but I know they’re all so hungry they won’t care –”
“What?” Helen interjected, her eyes wide with alarm. “What others?”
“Well, Ken and Nicola of course,” Laura said, puzzled.
“What? You didn’t tell me they were coming! I thought it was just the four of us – you, Neil, me and Paul!”
“What’s the problem? Did you and Nicola have an argument or something?” Laura asked, puzzled. She suspected then that Nicola might have said something to Helen about all the extra baby-sitting. Great, aggro between those two was all she needed tonight.
“No, nothing like that – it’s just . . .” Helen bit her lip and looked decidedly panicked.
“What is it, Helen?”
She took a deep breath. “It’s just . . . I kinda haven’t yet told Paul about Kerry, and I was hoping you and Neil might do me a favour by not mentioning her tonight.”
“What?”
Helen grimaced. “I know, I know. It’s stupid. It’s just we haven’t been going out very long and the subject never came up and —”
“The subject never came up! Helen, she’s your daughter!” Laura was incredulous. “That’s so unfair! To Kerry and to Paul! And he was bound to find out sooner or later. What did you think would happen then?”
“Laura, I thought I’d cross that bridge when I came to it –”
“That’s crazy, Helen!”
“I know, I know. It’s high time I told him but I’m just not ready yet. I really thought it would be just you and Neil tonight and I was so sure you would . . .”
“Help keep it a secret for you?” Laura finished, shaking her head in wonder at Helen’s unbelievable silliness, not to mention downright cheek at expecting her to lie on her behalf. She shook her head. “Look, Helen, you’d better take him aside now and let him know, otherwise –”
“But I can’t just drop it on him all of a sudden!” Helen cried, and then her voice dropped sharply to a whisper, as she remembered that the others were in the next room. “Not when we’re in company – it wouldn’t be fair!”
“But you must! What about Nicola and Ken? And Neil? They’re bound to talk about Kerry tonight!”
“Oh, God, what will I do? Should I talk to Nicola . . . ask her not to . . . ?”
“Sooner you than me! You can imagine how Nicola would react to that! But go ahead –”
She stopped dead, as just then the door to the dining-room opened. Helen had her back to the doorway and appeared not to notice.
“Do you need help with anything here, Laura?” Nicola asked easily, and Helen nearly jumped ten feet off the ground.
“Nicola – hi!” she said, her tone high-pitched.
“I see you’ve finally decided to honour us with your presence then.”
Helen smiled warily. “Um, yes, Paul was working late and . . .” she trailed off as they heard voices in the hallway and footsteps approach the kitchen.
“Laura’s just in here,” they heard Neil say, and Laura felt her breath catch as, just behind Neil, the most stunning man she had ever seen entered the room. Long hair, sculpted cheekbones, piercing slate-grey eyes – lucky old Helen.
“Hey!” Paul said in a distinct American twang. “Glad you guys didn’t start the party without us!”
Nice, Laura thought. No apology, no excuse, just ‘Hey!’
“This is my good friend Laura –” A clearly flustered Helen made the introductions, glancing meaningfully at Laura as she did so. “And this is Nicola.”
“Hello, Paul. Nice to meet you,” Laura said, smiling warmly at him.
“Good to be here, Laura.” He grinned back at Laura, his smile faltering as he turned to Nicola who gave him a curt nod.
“Glad you could make it –” Laura said, and couldn’t help adding, “eventually.”
“Paul was working late,” Helen offered quickly, by way of explanation. “So, by the time he got to my place, and then, of course, our little detour . . .”
“I got a bit lost on the way,” Paul admitted bashfully.
“In the metropolis that is Ballinteer?” Neil asked, winking at Laura.
“Well, I tried to give him directions but you know what men are like!” Helen batted her eyelids playfully at the two men present.
“Hey!” Neil piped up, rising to her bait. “I’ll have you know that men are proven to be much better orienteers . . . orientators . . . what’s the right word again, Paul?”
“Exactly my point,” Helen jibed. “You know what men are like.” She ducked giddily as Neil aimed a tea towel at her.
“Can everyone go insi
de and sit down now?” Laura said testily, deliberately refusing to make eye contact with Helen though she could feel her anxious gaze fixed on her. At Laura’s words, Nicola promptly headed back to the dining-room, thereby robbing Helen of any chance to have a private word with her. Out of the corner of her eye, Laura saw Neil put a friendly arm around Helen’s shoulders and usher her out of the kitchen in Paul’s wake.
Laura was now seriously annoyed. Not only had Helen landed her in another dreadful situation, but she was sick to the teeth of her friend’s incessant flirting with her husband. It was the same every time Helen called to pick up Kerry – if they weren’t talking football, that was. Laura knew that her friend just couldn’t help herself – get her within two yards of a man and she was batting her eyelids as if she was in a sandstorm, and wiggling her backside like Kylie Minogue – even in her present state of tension.
After taking a minute to try and calm herself, Laura began carrying the first course into the dining-room.
“So, are you a farmer or a forester or something, Paul?” Nicola was asking.
Paul looked at Nicola as if she was on drugs or something. “No, why?”
“Well, seeing as you were working late, I suppose I just wondered why you couldn’t get to a phone.”
Ken nudged her chair beneath the table, and Helen shot her a venomous look.
“Paul misheard the time. He thought I said dinner was at nine o’clock.”
Paul gave Helen a quick glance, which suggested he thought anything but.
“Well, look, we’re all here now, anyway,” Laura said, trying to relieve the obvious tension. “Now get stuck in before it all goes cold.”
“Great!” Paul rubbed his hands together. “I’m starving, haven’t eaten a thing all day and I’ll tell you this, I have one hell of an appetite.” He winked at Helen.
“Good thing we waited for you then, isn’t it?” Nicola said sweetly enough but, to anyone who knew her, her voice was tinged with sarcasm.
Laura rolled her eyes. It was going to be a long night.
* * *
Nicola sat and watched the gorgeous Paul wolf down his lamb as if he had never eaten before in his life. Asshole! What did Helen see in him? OK, that was fairly obvious: he was bloody fantastic-looking! But still! He was as artificial as you could get. And where did he think he was going with the American accent? All ‘hey’ and ‘wow’ and ‘guys’ this, ‘guys’ that.
“So, Paul, where are you from?” she asked innocently.
He wiped the side of his mouth with a napkin. “Mitchelstown.”
“Oh!”
Helen shot Nicola another look, knowing exactly what she was getting at. “Paul spends a lot of time abroad on business,” she explained.
“What you do?” Ken asked him.
Paul looked pleased to be asked. “I’m an investment advisor – pensions, stocks, bonds – things like that We advise our customers on how best to invest their extra cash.”
“He’s given me fantastic advice,” Helen trilled. “Now I know exactly what to do with my money.”
“Oh, are shoes considered a valid form of investment these days?” Neil teased, and Helen made a face at him. Grinning, he got to his feet “I’ll get some more wine, will I?”
“I’ll get dessert.” Laura shuffled out to the kitchen with him, leaving the others alone at the table.
Nicola thought it odd that, despite her earlier enthusiasm about her new man, Helen seemed rather tense and uncomfortable at the table tonight. Every time Paul opened his mouth to say something, Nicola noticed that her friend’s eyes kept darting here and there as if she was afraid he might not make a good impression on everyone. And any time the others opened their mouths, Helen all but started, as if nervous of what they might say. She supposed she might have been a bit unfair to her, really – it had evidently taken a lot for Helen to work up the courage to introduce him to her friends and, looking at her now, it was obvious she was anxious they all get along. She hadn’t been fair to her really, coming down on the two of them for being late like that. OK, the ‘guy’ (as Paul would probably describe himself) was a bit of a show-off and clearly had no manners but, as long as Helen was happy, that was the main thing. For her friend’s sake, she should try and get on with him.
“So, you two have been seeing one another for a while now?” Nicola injected some enthusiasm into her voice.
“Yes, and she’s one hell of a babe.” Paul looked at Helen with real devotion, something Nicola hadn’t seen anyone other than Kerry do in a long, long time. Yes, men loved Helen; men had always loved Helen but usually didn’t have a hope once her friend decided they weren’t up to standard.
Might Paul actually be the right one for Helen, the one to banish the ghost of Jamie for good? For her friend’s sake, Nicola hoped so. It would be terrific if Helen could finally find someone for her and Kerry to love.
Speaking of which . . .
“So have you met Kerry?” she asked Paul, just as Laura and Neil returned from the kitchen. Laura’s eyes widened, and she shot a look at Helen who, horrified, was sitting ramrod straight in her chair, her eyes fixed on Laura’s for support, inspiration, anything.
Paul looked blankly at Nicola. “Kerry?”
She watched him curiously. “Well, of course, Helen’s –”
“Dog!” Helen cried out.
Paul turned to her, his mouth full. “What?”
“My dog,” she said again, and Nicola stared at her, shocked. “Kerry’s my dog, a Kerry Blue, lovely little thing, I’ve had her for years.” Helen gave an apparently carefree little laugh but her eyes told a different story.
“Oh right.” Paul laughed too. “You never mentioned a dog before.”
“Yes, well, I have to lock her up when I have visitors. She’s very possessive of me, can be a bit funny sometimes, about me – and – and who I bring home – isn’t she, Laura?”
Laura stood rooted to the spot, and Nicola glared at her. Surely she couldn’t be in on this too?
“Yes, she can be very possessive.” Laura spoke slowly, her expression stony as she stared right back at Helen.
Nicola looked from one girl to the other. What the hell were they trying to pull here? Well, she was going to bloody well find out. She turned resolutely towards the kitchen, her mouth set in a thin angry line “Helen!” she barked. “Let’s get the coffees and give Laura a little break!”
She heard Ken and Neil engage Paul in mindless chatter, anything it seemed to relieve the tension. But apparently Paul had noticed nothing amiss.
Alone with Nicola in the kitchen, Helen was shamefaced. “Look, he doesn’t know. I haven’t got around to it yet.” She studied a piece of carrot that had fallen on the ground. “I didn’t expect you and Ken to be here this evening and –”
“You haven’t got round to it yet?” Nicola repeated. “Helen, excuse my language but what the fuck does that mean? You’ve been going out with this man what, nearly four months, and you’ve just told him that your daughter –” Helen winced, and looked back towards the dining-room, presumably hoping that Paul couldn’t hear, “yes, your daughter, Helen, is a – a dog! What the hell were you thinking?”
“Nicola, please, I know, I’m sorry – it was the first thing I could thing of –”
“First thing you could think of? Helen, why should you have to think of anything? Why didn’t you tell him the truth? That Kerry is a sweet, loving child, the most important thing in your life, the most precious thing in all of our lives!”
And it was true. Kerry was the child that Nicola had never had, that she might never have and she loved that little girl with all her heart. And as far as she knew, Laura felt the same. The two of them had been there for Helen and for Kerry through thick and thin, and Nicola knew that, if she had to, she would fight to the death for Kerry. If she felt this way, then how could the child’s mother, her own mother, deny her like that?
“Nicola, please, I know it was awful! And I really didn’t mean for t
his to happen but I wasn’t prepared for . . . I just . . .” Helen shook her head sadly. “I know it was stupid and I feel so guilty about not telling him, really I do!” Her eyes brimmed with tears. “But you don’t understand. You don’t know how it is. You don’t know what it’s like trying to find someone, someone decent and nice and – and I’m just afraid that if I tell him about Kerry it’ll all be ruined. Men run a mile when they hear about Kerry. I don’t want that to happen this time. You don’t understand – I really like Paul.”
At this Nicola felt a familiar rage rise within her, something she hadn’t felt in a long, long time. She took a deep breath, and struggled to remember every piece of advice she had ever heard about anger management She began to count to twenty but didn’t even reach five. ‘I really like Paul.’
Her face hard, Nicola looked one of her oldest friends straight in the eye.
“Helen, you are a selfish bitch.” She spoke slowly, pronouncing each word clearly and precisely.
“What?” Helen stared at her, dazed. “What did you call me?”
“I called you a selfish bitch!” Nicola’s temper was well and truly lost now, and the way she felt at that moment, it would probably never be found again. She couldn’t believe Helen’s selfishness, her callousness, her blatant cruelty towards her own child. Kerry adored Helen, looked up to her, would do anything for her. What was it with people like Helen? They had everything going for them, had everything to look forward to and yet, yet it still wasn’t enough. They had to have it all.
Helen’s back straightened. “Nicola, you’re my friend. I know you’re angry but believe me that is the one reason – the only reason I am taking this from you.”
“The only reason?” Nicola went on. “The only reason, huh?”
“Yes.” Helen amazingly seemed to be keeping her calm.
The two woman glared at one another, barely noticing as Laura quietly entered the room.
“Are you sure it’s the only reason, Helen?” Nicola went on. “Because I’m such a good friend? Or is because I know what you’re really like?”
“Girls, don’t . . .” Laura was soothing.
Helen frowned. “What I’m really like? What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
