by E. C. Frey
The nearby roses danced on the light breeze. Mariah reached for one, remarking that it was her favorite, the Félicité Parmentier. Double-blossomed blooms of fragrant petals, pink in the interior fading to white at the fringes, its fragrance was as alluring as the rose itself. An interior world of pink could not be eclipsed by the white predominance at the edge; its sheer beauty transformed that of the borders.
Mariah plucked the white petals until the soft pink core remained. The core, disarmingly beautiful, evoked conflicting emotions. There was a fine line between the innocence aroused by the color of pink and the desire to transcend it. Mariah flipped the remnants of the flower into the bushes, where it lay crushed in the dirt. She propped herself on her elbow. I couldn’t take my eyes from the dismembered flower.
Mariah broke the silence. “Are we going to lie here all day or are we going to do something? We don’t have many days of summer vacation left.”
Fiona sat up. “Mariah’s right. Summer’s almost over, and let’s face it, it’s been a depressing summer. We’ve hardly done anything.”
Esperanza propped herself on both elbows. “Speak for yourself. I’ve had plenty of adventure, and it didn’t all end that well.”
Fiona rolled over and pulled the leaves of grass from her hair. “C’mon, you guys. Who says we have to have adventures that end poorly? Soon we’ll go back to school. Everyone else is going to have stories of going to the beach, or Lake Tahoe, or Hawaii, or Disneyland. What’ll we say about our summer?”
Eve sat up. “I know. We can say one of us lost our brother, another one lost her heart, and another one had the crap beaten out of her. Two of us got lost in the woods on a stupid trip to the park and spent a lovely vacation in the hospital, and one of us hung out on the reservation minus two uncles who are dead or missing in Vietnam. And three of us feel like characters from a bad episode of Dark Shadows. Sounds like a winning fucking time. Oh, and then we came home and had to dream up things to do so we could say we actually did something this summer. Who gives a shit if people think we had a boring summer or not? They think we’re ridiculous anyway.”
Fiona sat up. “Jeez, Eve. Who got you fired up? And who says we’re ridiculous?”
Eve collapsed back on the grass. “Everyone does.”
“Speak for yourself.”
“I didn’t mean it that way, Fiona. You live closer to the big houses in Sunny Hollow and you’re blond and . . .”
“And what?”
“And beautiful and white, Fiona. You don’t want to admit that gives you a pass, but it does.”
“I don’t get any passes. I get just as much shit as anyone else.”
Mariah sat up. “Give me a break, Fiona. You don’t know what real shit is. All you have to do is flip your blond hair at people and you’re off the hook.”
“You’re just angry you’re not blonde, Mariah. You know, you’re white too. And Heather’s white.”
Mariah wouldn’t let it go. “That’s right. I am part white. So why does everyone pay more attention to the part of me that isn’t?”
“Maybe you just see it that way.”
“Maybe people want me to see it that way.”
“Maybe they don’t. And maybe they do. And maybe it’s because you want them to see it that way. But why should that stop you? The only person who can stop you is yourself. Because you don’t see any of us stopping you.”
“You’ve been listening to Reverend Thomas too much.” Mariah fell back down on her elbow.
Esperanza giggled.
“No, I haven’t. I just think things are changing. Like you say all the time. I think we create our story. I think we make our own tune and our own dance. I think, together, we can dance better than all the people you think are stopping you. And I’m dancing with you. So get up and dance.” Fiona tossed her blond hair behind her.
Mariah was silent, as if she was turning Fiona’s words over and over like unprocessed stones, the gem buried deep within the ugly rock.
Eve snorted. “That’s trippy, Fiona!”
“I mean it.”
Eve laughed. “I don’t doubt it.” She began humming Otis Redding’s “Sittin’ on the Dock of the Bay.” Within seconds, they were all humming.
The sounds from the dark interior of the forest coalesced and harmonized with their voices. Even the insects seemed to dance in rhythm. Their friendship was strong. Some things were too powerful to extinguish.
But life has a funny way of mimicking the natural world. The calm before a storm is often the sweetest of times, the most poignant of moments.
A swift breeze caught the discarded rose petals and lifted them until they merged with the other spent leaves of the garden.
Mariah shivered. “I feel trouble, you guys. My mom says spirits dwell in every object, even immovable rocks. If you pay attention, the living essence of the universe communicates through them. I should’ve been paying attention. The moment’s gone, the message delivered, and I’m not sure what it was. The breeze is an omen. I feel it in my bones.” She lay back down. “Wanagi. Ghosts and spirits.” Quickly, she stood. “I have to move. I agree with Fiona. Let’s do something. Anything.”
Fiona rose too. “We could go to my house. I have Creedence Clearwater Revival’s new album. We could have a sleepover. My parents will be out of the house tonight. We could hang out. What do you think?”
Eve looked at me. “It sounds like fun to me. Do you think your parents will let you, Heather?”
I thought about it. “Maybe. Maybe not.”
Fiona was undaunted. “Oh, c’mon. My parents can call them. She can’t say no to other adults. They hang together. And my parents still feel bad about everything. They’re not going out until later. What do you say?”
I had to think.
“Oh, c’mon. I won’t try to convince your mom, Heather. It’ll be an invite from my parents. Nothing more.”
Mariah picked at a piece of grass. “It might be the perfect chance to get away.”
“What do you mean?” Fiona asked. “It’s a simple invite to my house.”
“But it’s also the perfect chance to get Heather somewhere else,” Mariah said.
I blanched. “They’ll kill me.”
“Not if we take you somewhere they don’t expect.”
Fiona was incredulous. “Where would that be?”
“I have an idea.” Mariah smiled.
Eve perked up. “What’s your idea? This is the perfect time.”
Fiona shook her head. “I can’t believe you guys are entertaining such an idea. What about Tallon? We didn’t exactly succeed at that. They’ll find us. Besides, who said I want to run away? My parents are only just forgetting about it.”
Esperanza jumped up. “I don’t want to run away. My family is the whole reason I didn’t run away on the Yucatan. That was my moment to run.”
“Sit down, Espy. No one has to go who doesn’t want to.”
“Then who’s going?”
Mariah raised her hand. “I will.”
Eve smiled. “My parents are so sad they won’t even notice I’m gone.”
I shrank against the thorns of a rose bush. “Wait. This is moving too fast. Where would we go?”
“My cousin lives on a reservation in Montana,” Mariah said. “They would never think to look there.”
“We’d stick out like sore thumbs. Have you looked at my hair lately?” Fiona lifted a tuft of blond hair.
“It would only be for a little while. The reservation is big. There are lots of places to not be found. I already talked to my cousin.”
I shook my head. It was moving too fast. “No. They’ll kill me. Forget about it. Things are fine right now. If we do something to make them mad, they’ll find me, and things will be worse.”
Eve looked at Mariah. “Why don’t we think about it? It doesn’t have to be now. We can talk more about it tonight. We haven’t even planned it. What do you think?”
Mariah nodded. “You don’t have to do anything
you don’t want, Heather. We’ll just hang tonight.”
Everyone nodded. But I knew they were planning. We had already jumped on the runaway train. And now that night stalks me.
I didn’t have Shannon then. Can we now stop what we started then?
I snuggle against her. We have to amend our wrongs. Perhaps this is the year when it all comes full circle. Mariah will be here soon. We need a plan before we’re assembled. I feel stronger than I have in a long time. Brandon or no Brandon, it’s time to find myself.
The hotel room door lever clicks and slowly returns to the upright position. My heart skips. Shannon stirs and sighs.
Tiptoeing to the door, I look through the peephole, but no one is there.
My hand shakes as I open the door. Now is the time to find some courage. I peek out. The hallway is empty.
A lone rose lies at the crease in the doorway. A double-blossomed bloom of pink and white.
22 Sunny Hollow 1968
They assembled at Fiona’s house at five. Fiona’s mother supplied them with pizza, popcorn, soda, and brownies. Full, they settled in. Fiona’s sisters were spending the night with their friends, and her parents left shortly afterwards for a dinner party across the bay in San Francisco. They wouldn’t be back before sunrise. It was a moment of independence; the night spent in the darkness of the forest faded in the light of possibility.
Fiona headed for the fully stocked liquor cabinet.
Heather, grateful to be free of her parental chains, protested. “Fiona! We can’t raid your parents’ cabinet. They’ll notice.”
“No they won’t, silly. What makes you think they’ll know?”
“My parents know. They mark everything every time they drink anything. They know exactly how much is missing.”
“Oh my God, Heather. My parents don’t do that. They won’t notice and they won’t care. And guess what else I have?” She proudly pulled out a joint.
“Trippin’, Fiona!” Mariah said.
“We can’t do that,” Heather said. “Where’d you get it, anyway?”
“Oh, don’t be so square, Heather. Plus, I have several of them.” Fiona pulled two more from her tight jeans pocket. The smashed joints looked harmless.
Eve and Mariah giggled. Excitement tinged the air.
Esperanza shied from the offending cigarette. “I don’t know if I want to do that.”
“Oh, c’mon, Espy. It can’t do any harm. We’re here, safe at home, and no one will catch us. It’ll be fun. I’m tired of being square. I’m tired of being the good girl.”
“Amen to that.” Eve wanted danger. Caution had not served her family well.
Fiona handed the first joint to Eve and Mariah, along with a lighter. Eve dragged on the joint. The smoke, sweet and earthy, enveloped Eve’s head and she coughed it out. She handed it to Mariah, who did the same. Fiona smiled and removed several bottles of alcohol from her parents’ cabinet. A faded picture of a Highland ancestor hung over the decanters, guarding the finest of her father’s single malt scotch. Fiona saluted him and took the shortened joint, dragged deeply on it, held it, and coughed.
Eve, Mariah, and Fiona fell into a fit of laughter. Heather and Esperanza stared at them in disbelief.
“Don’t you feel funny doing that in front of an ancestor?” Esperanza regarded the stern eyes in the picture.
Fiona giggled. “No way. Highlanders were wild freedom lovers. They were Celts, chica. He’s probably doing a Fling in his grave. His descendant has Highland gumption.”
Esperanza smiled. She was the first of the two remaining to surrender. She, too, coughed up her first drag, but she eased into the next couple of shared joints. Heather remained aloof. Fiona opened her parents’ half-consumed vodka and poured several glasses. After filling the glasses with orange juice, she passed the drinks to her friends. She looked at Heather. Heather knew everyone was watching. She couldn’t refuse. She took it. Fiona smiled and returned to pour herself a glass.
Heather loved the taste of the orange juice drink. Her insides tingled. She lost her fear and drank it quickly. Freedom oozed at the bottom of her glass. She dabbed at the ice cubes coated with juice. Then she reached for the remnants of the last joint, took a drag, coughed, and took another drag.
Fiona smiled. “Wow, Heather. You’re diggin’ that joint.”
“Do you have another?”
“No, I only got three. But I know where we can get some more.”
Eve and Mariah mixed more drinks. The orange juice ran out. Rummaging through the cabinets for a substitute, they returned with a container of Tang and armfuls of snacks.
Mariah wanted more of the forbidden cigarette. “You really know where we can get more?”
Fiona looked mischievously from one girl to the next.
Mariah stamped her foot. “Well . . . where?”
“Juniper Street.” Fiona fell on the floor laughing.
“Son of a bitch, Fiona.” Mariah wasn’t laughing. “You got that from Damon? Are you fuckin’ nuts?”
Fiona rolled up on her heels. “What? Why does it have to be Damon?”
Eve planted her fists on her hips. “Well, was it Damon? Tell me it wasn’t Damon? Who else lives on Juniper?”
“Well, what if it was?” Fiona asked.
All four moaned.
“Are you crazy?” Eve demanded, echoing Mariah.
“Well, are you interested in getting more or not?” Fiona asked.
“No. I don’t have any money anyway, and even if I did, I wouldn’t give it to him.” Mariah’s voice traveled through a tunnel.
“Oh, c’mon. Jazmin doesn’t get involved in his drug deals.”
“This is crazy, Fiona. I know someone else we could get this from without involving Damon. There’s no way I’m seeking that asshole out.”
“Ah, you’re such a drag, Mariah.” Fiona sauntered over to the counter where Mariah and Eve were standing. “You wanna know what I think?” Her forefinger was within an inch of Mariah’s nose.
“No. What do you think?”
“I think you secretly have a crush on him. He’s a total fox.”
“Ewww.” Mariah made a face. “He’s a rat.”
“Jealous.” Fiona smirked.
Mariah’s face reddened. “No. I’m not. He’s a total loser.”
“I’m just saying. You seem to have intense feelings about him. Anyhow, I have birthday money and I want to buy some more.”
“Not from him,” Mariah moaned.
“Oh, c’mon,” Fiona whined. “I wanna have some fun.”
Heather felt freer than she ever had. She cocked her head. “Let’s get some more.” She wasn’t ready for the sweetness of the night to end. She wanted to be as free and audacious as her friends. She felt honored by their friendship, but she was insignificant in their presence; they eclipsed her. For once, tonight, she felt significant. If she smoked more, could she feel this way forever? She reveled in the sense of her power. Power was an elixir and she now understood why everyone wanted it. But why did they have to take hers to add to theirs?
Mariah and Eve were stunned. Fiona smiled. “That’s my girl.”
“Are you sure, Heather? Because I’m with Mariah, I’m not sure about this.” Eve knew that none of them would be able to deny this to Heather. It was only a short while ago that she had lain, broken, in a hospital bed. The flirt with death had made her life, and theirs, that much sweeter.
“Yeah, of course I’m sure.” Heather rocked and swayed in place.
Eve didn’t hesitate. “Then let’s go.”
It seemed like a good plan. Fiona called Damon. Jazmin was with her gang in Sycamore. They could score an ounce of good shit if they came now. Fiona emptied the chamber of her piggy bank, swept a brush through her long mane of blond hair, swiped her lips with gloss, and shoved the money into her back pocket. When she descended the stairs, the girls had cleaned up the kitchen and were ready to go. They would be fine if there were five of them. “Ready?”
“
Ready.” Heather stumbled backwards and erupted into giggles.
Eve held out a hand to steady her. “Oh boy. This could be fun.”
They walked out into the night. The air was clear and warm. Moving down the stairs to the street, they headed toward Sycamore. Quiet enveloped Fiona’s street. A half-block walk away, they turned onto a main street that now teemed with late-summer traffic. The lights of the street fused with those of the cars to brighten the night sky into something that resembled the day. Shortly, they were on another quiet street.
Damon sat on the stoop of his house. His blond hair and blue eyes matched those of Fiona. Yet their spirits were so different, Mariah reflected. She was light to his darkness.
“Hey,” he said as they walked up. “I was wondering if you were for real.”
“Oh, I’m for real.” Fiona tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
He looked her up and down before licking his lips. “Yeah, you’re for real all right.”
Mariah rolled her eyes. “C’mon Fiona. Let’s do this already.”
Damon turned to Mariah with equal interest. “Yeah. Why don’t you and I do this already? You know, we’re a lot alike, baby.”
“What are you talking about?” Mariah eyed him coolly.
“I’m talking about you.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, man.”
“Don’t you?” He rubbed his hand across his naked chest and left it to rest on his breastbone.
“No, I don’t!” Sex was as natural as dirt. Her parents were traditional even though they made her go to a Christian church. But that didn’t mean you had to lie down for just anyone. Indians respected themselves. And there was no respect in Damon.
“Too bad. We could’ve gotten it on.”
“What? You see what I mean, Fiona?”
Fiona nodded. “C’mon, Damon. I’ve got the dough, do you have the stuff?”
Damon slowly rose from his perch. He winked at Mariah. Winking blue eyes—a demon with an angel’s face.
“What the hell are you winking at her for?” Fiona fumed openly.
