“Kneel,” she said.
Without question I did as she told me. The girl stepped forward—she was mere inches from my face now. Tears slid down my face.
Let me die! I deserve this! This is justice!
I knew Paimu could hear my thoughts just as I had heard hers earlier. I thought about my sister, my father and Alexio…
Ah, Alexio! I will miss you most of all!
Even as I thought those words, Paimu’s hand reached out, and I felt an excruciating pain in my heart. I woke with a scream.
Margg shook me, babbling away in an attempt to silence me. I was sure if she’d had her way she would have turned me out of her room, but I did not give her a choice. I fell into her arms, sobbing.
I knew what the girl wanted.
I knew I would have to give it to her.
Chapter Twelve
Tadukhipa—Golden Crown
“Come away, my love, and let me show you something,” I leaned against the back of Amenhotep’s neck, hoping he noticed and appreciated the feeling of my young breasts pressed against his flesh. He was hardly attentive, and as the weeks dragged by it became more difficult to keep him entertained. He constantly pored over scrolls of reports, explored artifacts and spent much of his time with the priests of the Aten. I frowned over his shoulder as he tinkered with the building model, moving pylons, obelisks and other architectural elements. I knew I had thus far failed in my mission—both of them.
When my father came to me, the tasks had seemed simple enough: seduce Amenhotep and show him the foolishness of abandoning the worship of Amun. How shortsighted of my husband to consider such a thing—the leopard coats had their hands in the workings of many nations. Their presence was growing in Mitanni, and with that growing presence came much wealth and prestige. There were other reasons, much more complex, but I had not paid much attention to these unimportant details. It was the challenge of seduction that delighted me. For the past two years I could only observe Amenhotep, the son, from afar. But now that the old pharaoh was dead, I could finally turn my attentions to more exciting things. Who wanted to make love to an old man? Thankfully, and many thanks to my concoctions, the father had not been able to raise his tent for me.
But I might as well have stayed in the Royal Harem for all the attention my new husband had given me. We had made love less than a handful of times during our time together. Although I made a great show to the servants of how tired I was each morning, these were pleasant lies. Even when he did come to me, he never stayed to sleep with me, nor did he linger long on my pillow after the deed was done.
I had secretly sent my dutiful little birds back to Thebes with messages that I prayed had gotten back to Nefertiti with all haste. I spread the “news” to the court that Amenhotep and I were closer than ever. Perhaps he had put his seed in my belly; love and affection were not required for this.
Privately my magicians had told me that I would have a son, but I had yet to hold a baby in my arms.
So impatient, Tadukhipa, I could almost hear Inhapi scold me from the Otherworld.
I wondered how Nefertiti liked the gift I had sent her, if she was intelligent enough to understand it. With a smile I imagined her expression when she realized that the brooch pin had been dipped in poison. I could see her skin grow paler as death claimed her. It had been a foolish thing to do, I knew, but I grew more desperate by the day. While I was here being ignored by my husband, she was ruling Egypt as his regent! It was more than I could bear, although I kept my thoughts to myself.
I rubbed his neck impatiently, but he did not turn from his models. “Soon,” he said, reaching for his cup. With a sigh of exasperation I left him alone and walked along the patio. This was a small palace, nothing as grand as the one in Thebes or the Royal Harem, and we had been here for a whole week. I grew bored with the scenery and his indifference. So far I had not given voice to my disappointment. Better to smile and pretend how much I loved him. It was getting harder to do.
Aggravated, I reached for my robe and slid it over my nude body. I did not wish to show myself to the guards below, not that Amenhotep would mind. Still, I could not give up. I would not give up! To do so meant that the Desert Queen would win my place and I would lose the love and support of the Hittite throne.
Hadn’t I paid enough? Hadn’t I patiently endured the pawing of Amenhotep’s father? I shivered thinking of his dry, rough hands all over my body. Although he had not been man enough to take me, he had enjoyed pinching me and feeling my young flesh. I came to my new husband’s bed a maid, technically. I did not think he even noticed when he pushed through the veil and made me bleed that first night. With a sigh, I pulled a flower off the vine that grew over the railing and toyed with it for a few minutes before I crushed it in my hand. I missed Inhapi. Her quick smile, her soft lips, her gentle fingers. What advice would she have given me right now?
“Amenhotep, come away now. It is getting late.”
Eventually he left his table and came to me. He wore no headdress today, no crown, but his height alone reminded me that he was still Pharaoh. Kings were always taller than other men. My uncle, King of the Hittites, towered over his court, and Amenhotep was taller still. “What did you want to show me?”
“I have a surprise for you. It is in here,” I said with my most flirtatious smile. He allowed me to lead him to the door of the inner chamber. The heady aroma of flowers filled the hallway, and just as I had instructed, baskets of blooms were everywhere. Somehow my servants had found night-blooming jasmine; the scent was said to stoke a man’s desires. I turned my back to the door and stood between him and the handle. “Now, my king, on this last night here together, I have something special for you. Something you have never seen before.”
He smiled patiently. “Something I have never seen before? My mind cannot fathom what it could be.”
With a smile of satisfaction I pushed the door open and ushered him into the chamber. The candlelight caught the golden mirrors on the walls and bounced around the room, making it seem like an enchanted place. Sitting on their knees in the middle of the bed were two young women with long golden hair. They wore nothing except shimmering belly chains and scented oils that gave their tanned skin a hint of gold. They looked like two delightful, magical creatures with their round curved hips and shapely arms and thighs. I sent them a stern look, reminding them to please my husband, and then turned to Amenhotep with a seductive smile on my face.
“Have you ever seen such beauty before? And there are two of them. They are just for you, my king.” Leaving him alone with his prizes, I walked out of the room and closed the door behind me. I waited a moment, listening to the sounds of the young women giggling, and walked away happy that he did not refuse them.
So he is not as pious and faithful as Nefertiti believes. That is something, at least.
I sauntered to my room. It was smaller than our shared chambers but elegantly decorated. I called my attendants and climbed into a bath to rest before tomorrow’s journey. I did not see Amenhotep for the rest of the night, but it was no bother to me. I wanted to be alone so I could think of Inhapi without interruption. In a perfect world, we would still be together plotting our happy future. How I missed her!
I thought of Ramose and wondered if his bed was empty tonight. I once considered seducing the General of Egypt but decided against it. I could not trust that he would be discreet. Ramose was a braggart, and he had loved Amenhotep the father. I wanted to feel close to my lost Inhapi, and what better way to do that than to lie with her husband? But I could not take that chance. Sitamen had disappointed me too. She pretended not to understand my invitations to experience the joys I could offer her. The girl spent all her time plucking away at threads, playing with her birds and singing mournful songs. It was no matter. I had another distraction, for I would have a son—a son to rule—even if Amenhotep failed to give me one. I had to work quickly, for I feared that when I returned to Egypt he would not call for me again. How would I explain awa
y a child if too much time passed?
When I woke the following morning, I felt my stomach cramp. At first I thought it was merely hunger, but the cramping got worse and soon I felt blood trickling from between my legs. I reached down and looked at my hand. Yes, there it was—bright red blood. I was not pregnant. Lying priests! I turned into the pillow and screamed in frustration.
I was going to return to Thebes without a child in my womb. Nefertiti’s belly would be swollen like a fat pear while I had nothing to show for my troubles. I heard my servants approaching my room and yelled at them. “Stay out. I will come out soon.”
I could not let anyone know this. Not yet. How long before Amenhotep abandoned my bed forever? How that would please my enemy, Queen Tiye! How she would rock with laughter to hear that. Her son hated my bed and would never take me as his Great Wife! How delighted she would be when she learned the truth! I decided I must kill her. I thought the old witch would go down into the ground with her husband, but she did not. Too afraid to leave her son in my clutches.
Oh, Amenhotep! You infuriate me!
I knew that he pined for the Desert Queen—that he wanted to make her the Great Wife. I knew he wanted her more than he had ever wanted me. The only thing stopping him from announcing it from the top of the palace were the Hittites, my family. The same family who abandoned me to the whims of Egypt’s kings long ago. Amenhotep already believed I carried his child. I had been two months without a flow, I all but declared it. I could not face his disappointment now.
No. I would have to find another way. I would have a child, and I knew who could help me. As I cleaned up the blood and rinsed my stained nightgown, I quickly fomented a plan.
I was not defeated yet.
Chapter Thirteen
Ramose—The Burning Bull
I desired Sitamen like I had never desired another woman. At the beginning of my marriage, Inhapi had stirred my sense of dignity and duty with her cool seductive looks. With her I was the General of Egypt, an unappreciated noble waiting to be recognized for my brilliance and strength. With Ayn I was the rescuer, the strange and distant man who brought pleasure without any demands. There had been others, but they had been meaningless meetings. The grappling of flesh. Needed release. Like eating a meal or drinking a tasty wine. These had been nothing more than wasted moments.
But with Sitamen, I could be Ramose. She neither showered me with flowery speech nor treated me like a stud horse. I did not take her as some women liked a man to do. We embraced one another like people, and for the first time I knew what the poets were talking about with their verses of stars and fate. How was it that a few weeks could seem like a happy eternity? How could it feel as if this had been the only true reality for me?
I felt loved, and I knew I did not deserve it.
I nodded stupidly as Aperel told me about the training for the new horses. I thought of Sitamen’s silky hair falling in her eyes as she smiled at me, one shoulder bare and vulnerable. Kafta and I drilled with swords as I oversaw the training of my neglected soldiers. He struck me with the wooden blade and laughed at me. “Head in the clouds, General?” Kafta knew my secret, but I trusted him. I did not answer him—how could I deny it? Even as I bobbed my head to avoid his strike, deep beneath the arc of his practice blade I could see her, walking peacefully among her caged birds like a strange bird goddess. Seeing her with Kames made me love her more. It was as if she were the boy’s mother. It was a happy fantasy. A fantasy that would surely change now that Pharaoh was returning to Thebes. Too many people already knew of our meetings. No matter how carefully we arranged our time together, we could not avoid the gossiping tongues forever. Every day I told myself that I must end this, but every evening I fell asleep in Sitamen’s arms happy and satisfied.
Tonight, out of an abundance of caution, I waited until dark and walked into the palace using the commoners’ entrance near the cooking houses. My stomach rumbled at the smells of baking bread, roasted meat and garlic. A familiar guard acknowledged me but wisely kept his mouth shut. I walked quickly to Sitamen’s private chambers, avoiding as many people as I could. It was difficult to do in a palace where hundreds were employed tending to a member of the royal family.
“Look, Kames! Here is your father!” I smiled at Sitamen, who held my son as I laid my sword and belt on a nearby table. She liked me to remove them before I held the child. “See how strong he is, little one? You will be just like your father one day.” She kissed the baby’s cheek and then stood on her tiptoes and kissed mine.
My arms slid around her waist, and I hugged her to me. With a quick kiss, I accepted the peaceful bundle she offered me and rubbed the child’s chin with my rough finger. He opened his eyes and stared at me as if he had something to say. “Fine boy. He grows heavier every day.” I never knew what to say to him, but I liked holding him in my arms. “Have you kept the princess busy today?”
She laughed, and it was a pleasant sound. “Indeed he did not. He slept all day, but he watched the birds in between naps.” She poured wine into two cups, and we talked for a while before one of her servants took the child away to do whatever it was that small children did. I watched him disappear.
Sitamen’s servant raced into the room unannounced and wide-eyed. “Lady! Your mother is here! I could not stop her.” Just then the Queen walked into our chambers, her pink robes swinging about her tiny frame. I had forgotten how small she was, how absolutely frail she had become since Amenhotep’s journey to the Otherworld.
“So it is true. I never thought you to be a fool, General.”
“Queen Tiye!” I rose to my feet but quickly remembered this was my late Pharaoh’s wife. I did not think it wise to answer her beyond that, so I kept my peace. Sitamen’s eyes were riveted on her mother as the older woman turned her attention to her. “And you. Your brother will undoubtedly know about this. If I know, he knows! Do you know what this means for you? You will never be the wife of Pharaoh now. Any chance you had is gone, along with your reputation. You have broken the law, Sitamen, and you have condemned this man to death.” Tiye’s pale hand waved toward me, and her voice had an honest edge of fear to it. “Have you learned nothing from me, foolish girl?”
Sitamen threw her cup on the floor, and the wine splashed up and stained the hem of her mother’s garments. “Oh, I would say that I have learned plenty from you, Queen Tiye! I have learned that if I do not find my happiness, I will never have it.”
“Happiness? Who told you happiness was afforded to you? You are Pharaoh’s daughter—and wife! No one cares about your happiness.”
“I know this lesson. I learned it at an early age.” Sitamen slid her arm through mine and held me tightly. I cupped her hand with my other hand. I had to do something, say something.
“Queen Tiye, I love Sitamen. I never meant for this to happen, but I am willing to pay whatever price I must.”
Sitamen said softly, “Ramose! I will talk to my brother. He will understand.”
The old queen made a snorting sound. “Even if he does, there is nothing he can do to help you, Sitamen. If he finds you together like this, if someone brings him ample evidence, you might as well cut your own throat. He will obey the law, I promise you. How could you betray us like this, General? My husband loved you like a son. He trusted you with his kingdom, and now you bring his daughter to ruin.”
“How dare you speak to him like that—as if he betrayed my father? All he has done is love me. Is that a crime?”
“In fact, it is a crime, Sitamen!”
“How dare you speak so sanctimoniously when everyone knows that you and my uncle…” Tiye crossed the short distance between us in a flash and struck Sitamen’s face with her open hand. Sitamen pulled her hand away from me and gasped in surprise.
“You have been listening to Tadukhipa, haven’t you, evil girl? How can you believe such lies?”
“Why are you here, Mother? To gloat? To condemn me or better still throw me into the fire yourself?” Sitamen did not cry or
hunker down. She touched the red handprint on her face briefly and then with clenched fists stood still.
Queen Tiye’s hawkish eyes were on me now. “If I were you, I would think of your son.”
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t listen to her, Ramose. My brother would never harm Kames. And I have claimed him as my own. Remember?” I wanted to believe Sitamen’s words, but I had seen firsthand the ruthlessness of kings. On Pharaoh’s command I had executed men for much less than my own crimes.
“What do you advise?” I asked Queen Tiye.
“Ramose?” Sitamen stood between us, facing me now. The look on her face was a turbulent mixture of disappointment and disbelief.
“I love you, Sitamen. I have never said that to another woman, not even Inhapi, but we must think of Kames. I know you love him as I do.”
“Do not listen to her. Nobody knows about us. If you listen, she will destroy us.”
I could see there would be no reasoning with her. Tiye was right. If she knew about Sitamen and me, then Amenhotep would surely know too. Seeking her help might be the only way my son could survive. “What would you have me do, Queen Tiye?”
“Throw yourself at my son’s feet and tell him that Sitamen seduced you. That she compelled you—no, commanded you—to stay with her.”
“That is not true!” Sitamen shouted.
“Do you want to save this man or not? If you do not shoulder some of the blame, he is doomed. Do you know the punishment for this? They will cast him into the flames to purify him, Sitamen. He will burn as the law demands.”
“I do not believe you! Amenhotep—”
“Will do what the priests tell him.” In a softer voice she said, “You should listen to me, Ramose. It is the only way. There will be nowhere to hide for you.”
“I cannot allow Sitamen to take the blame. She is an innocent.”
Queen Tiye drew herself up and sighed. “I leave that to you. At least in this you are an honorable man.”
The Kingdom of Nefertiti (The Desert Queen Book 3) Page 13
