by Vivian Wood
“Uh huh,” I say.
I’m distracted for a moment as we enter the tiny diner. It’s brightly lit and mostly empty, two rows of booths, a counter with seats, and behind all that is the grill. It smells straight up like french fries, and it’s kept super cold to suit the couple of employees who are working the grill.
“Sit anywhere that’s clean,” a young woman tells us, holding bread over a toaster just behind the booths. “I’ll be right with y’all.”
I hold out my hand, indicating to Cady that she can choose where we sit. She picks the closest booth, and slides in one side. I sit on the other side, cringing at how low to the ground the booths are.
“Hey!”
I look to my right, and there is Emily, all bubbly and blonde. Of all fucking people to be at this Waffle House right now, she’s the one person I want to see least. I’m pretty sure I had a nightmare about Emily and Cady meeting, and I’m still shaking after that one.
“Oh. Hey Emily,” I say, already starting to sweat.
I try not to convey my desperate wish to be anywhere else to Cady, but I’m obviously not successful. Cady sticks out her hand to Emily.
“Hi. I’m Cady.” She looks as strong and confident as one can while stoned, in a Waffle House, and sitting two feet below the person standing.
“Emily,” Emily says, taking Cady’s measure. “I’m Jett’s ex-girlfriend.”
“Mmm! Interesting,” Cady says. “He’s never mentioned you.”
My brows rise. This is a lie; I told Cady about Emily on the night we met. Unless she’s forgotten, Cady is being kind of catty right out of the gate. I don’t say shit. There is nothing that I can say that makes me look good.
“Really? That’s strange. We saw each other a couple of days ago. Didn’t we, Jett?”
Emily and Cady both look at me. Cady is looking at me with a hint of the wounded animal that she’s hiding inside. Emily smiles, because she’s managed to score a point on Cady. And me?
I am truly fucked.
“We ran into each other in the grocery store parking lot,” I say flatly. “You make it sound like we had a date or something.”
“Well, we do!” Emily fires back. “Remember? The fun run?”
I glance at Cady, who has gone as still as stone. I shake my head at Cady, but I know that’s not going to unring the bell.
“Hey, don’t look at me. I’m not your girlfriend,” Cady snaps.
My palms sweat. She is right about that.
“I didn’t agree to that,” I say to Emily. “At all.”
Emily smirks. “Well, that fun run is coming up soon. You have my number still, don’t you? Or did you forget that, too?”
Cady crosses her arms and glares at Emily.
“Bye, Emily,” I bite off.
Emily just smirks and heads out of the diner.
“I can’t believe her,” I steam. Cady looks off into the distance with an irritable expression.
The waitress comes up, her order pad at the ready. “Y’all know what ya want?”
I look at Cady, then pick up the menu, which doubles as a placemat. I order a waffle and eggs, and Cady orders a waffle and some bacon. When the waitress is gone again, I look at Cady.
“Hey,” I say, grabbing one of her hands. “Look at me.”
When she looks at me, pulling her hand away, there are tears shining in her enormous grey eyes. She dabs at her right eye, clearly embarrassed to be emotional in front of me.
“She was just trying to get the best of you,” I say.
“Yeah, well, she did a pretty good job of it.” Cady wipes away another tear. She’s eying the door like she’s about to bolt from the diner altogether.
Shit. That look on her face? That is one hundred percent my fault.
“I’m trying to figure out how I could have stopped this from happening. I don’t want to be the reason that you feel bad,” I say.
Cady takes a deep breath, then releases it. “It’s nothing. There isn’t anything you could have done. It’s not a big deal.”
“If you want, I can start telling you… I don’t know, boyfriend stuff,” I finish lamely.
She glances at me sharply. “Boyfriend stuff?”
“Yeah. I mean… since we are only sleeping with each other, it kind of makes sense that—“
I don’t get the chance to finish. She pushes herself up and out of the booth, shaking her head. “I need to go home and go to bed.”
“What about our food?” I say, looking around.
“I’m just tired, okay? Please, Jett. Let’s go.” She does look totally drained, with dark pouches under her eyes.
“Of course, yeah.” I slide out of the booth, pulling out my wallet and throwing a twenty on the table. We walk back to her apartment in silence. Halfway there, she puts her hand in mine and leans on my arm.
I’m at a total fucking loss right now. Though I am sure that she’s going to kick me out, she doesn’t. She just heads to bed, crawling under the covers. I settle in, uncertain what to expect.
Cady rolls over on her side and pulls me close, so that I roll over and spoon her. We both lie there for the longest time, not talking. My mind is whirling, going over and over everything that’s been said tonight.
One thing is for certain: Cady does not like talking about her feelings or showing weakness in front of me.
She cut me off when I offered to be more… boyfriend-like, by sharing stuff with her. There is only so much I can do to make a relationship work; she has to meet me halfway, or there isn’t really any point.
I stare into the darkness until sleep takes me over.
Chapter Sixteen
Cady
I’m at work, deep in a stack of briefs, going over them with a pen and a highlighter. I frown and flip to the next page. I rock back in my desk chair, looking up at the glass wall of my office as some lawyers pass.
I look back at the legal brief, but it starts to blur before my eyes. I put it down on the desk and sigh. I have been working on this for hours, and it’s almost time to go home.
I’m supposed to hang out with Jett at some party of his extended friend circle. I must have agreed to it when I was high, because it doesn’t sound like something that a future baby mama should be attending.
No, it sounds like just the sort of thing he would bring his girlfriend to, if he had a girlfriend. But he doesn’t; he has me instead.
I won’t even begin to address the issues that thinking about that brings up for me. All my feelings are so tangled up and entwined, and that is before I even add the idea of a baby to the mix.
A knock comes at my office door, and I look up to find Helen Master there. The third most powerful attorney in our firm and a hell of a litigator, Helen looks immaculate in her crisp white pantsuit.
She’s not someone who drops by for casual chats; I mostly see her once a month at litigation-specific firm meetings. She pokes her head in.
“Hi, can I come in?” she asks.
“Of course!” I say, looking askance at my desk and office chairs, which are covered with legal briefs. “Sorry, I can clear one of these off for you…”
I hop up, but Helen just smiles. “No. I will close the door, though, if that’s alright.”
I am already jittery from all the coffee I’ve had this morning. Now I start to sweat a little. I can’t help it.
“Sure, sure,” I say. I go ahead and clear off a chair, and Helen perches on the arm.
“I can see you’re busy, so I’ll be quick.” Helen smiles. “I’ve noticed that you are a real go-getter, especially on this Greenway vs. Taylor case that we’ve all been working on. You’ve logged an absolutely crushing number of hours in the last few months, and it hasn’t gone unnoticed.”
I think of all the nights that I could have gone a little longer, stayed a little later, but I didn’t because I had someone waiting for my call. My cheeks color. “Thanks.”
“We are looking at starting a branch of our firm in Seattle, and we could u
se some good people there. People like you. I would like for you to run the litigation department for us in Seattle.” Helen sits back, self-satisfied.
My mouth opens, but no words come out. She wants me to move to Seattle? And run their litigation department? I’m flabbergasted. “I— I— Can I think about it?”
Helen cocks her head, as if curious why anyone would say such a thing.
“Well, certainly,” she says. “You probably have a month to decide. Take some time, sleep on it… but don’t take too much time. There are a ton of people who would love to have this kind of opportunity. Oh, and this is sort of hush-hush, so… please don’t tell anyone at the firm.”
She stands up, moving toward the door.
“Thank you, Helen. I’m honestly so blown away,” I manage.
“Bye, Cady.” She gives me a small smile, and then lets herself out of my office.
I sit back in my chair, legal briefs momentarily forgotten. I’ve never been offered such a big promotion in my life. The benefits to moving and opening the Seattle office would be huge, I’m sure of it. But the promotion might be jeopardized by the fact that I’m actively trying to get pregnant right now.
I chew on my lower lip. I can’t not go for it though, can I? That would be stupid.
I need advice. Jett’s face pops into my mind. The next thing I know, I’m imagining having to leave Jett behind.
My eyes start tearing up at the very thought. I’ve done a great job of ignoring any and all feelings I have about him since that night at Waffle House, though. Just shut it down with a smile, and distracted him with sex. So far, it works.
I glance at the big clock on the wall and realize that I have to get going if I’m going to meet Jett. I hurry to tidy my desk, and then grab my stuff and get out of there.
I am meeting Jett at a restaurant in Buckhead, some little place that his friends all know. On my way over, I look down at my pale pink blouse and white pants. It’s probably a little fancy for the occasion. I unbutton a couple buttons and sigh. There honestly isn’t much else I can do.
I pull into the parking lot of the restaurant, a little wooden building that leans a bit alarmingly. I’m surprised to see Jett standing outside, looking dapper in all black. When he sees me, his whole face lights up. I don’t want to admit it, but I am coming to live for those moments.
God, I am so emotionally fucked right now, it’s not even funny.
Still, I get out of the car, walking up to Jett. He’s looking me up and down like I’m chocolate cake, and he just got the last piece.
“You look fucking hot,” he says, hugging me tightly. I bury my face against his chest for a second, and breathe him in.
He always smells like pine and soap. I liked it before; now I think I love the way he smells.
Oh god, too many emotions, I think, pushing them back. Not right now.
“You smell good,” I say.
“Thanks, I remembered to shower,” he jokes. He pulls back, and I can tell from his expression that he wants to ask me something. “So, um… I might have… told everybody inside that you were my girlfriend.”
He winces before I can even respond. I look at him, indecisive. We have been dancing around this subject for weeks now, and I’m too tired to put up much of a fight. A secret, dark part of me is even pleased, if I’m honest with myself.
Jett is looking at me, holding his breath.
“Okay,” I finally say, shrugging. “If that’s what you want to call me.”
The surprise is evident in his expression. “Really?”
“Yes. As long as our agreement about… the baby… still stands, I can be your girlfriend.”
He genuinely beams at me, closing in for a kiss. He cups my face tenderly, and his kiss is hot and slow. When he breaks the kiss, he leans his forehead against mine for a moment.
For the first time, I start to wonder how Jett feels. Is he feeling the magnetic pull between the two of us? It can’t just be me, not if he told his friends I was his girlfriend.
Jesus, I am horrible for not considering his feelings sooner.
He makes a face. “You should be aware, this is a bridal shower sort of thing. For the couple that is getting married in like a week and a half? So there will be lots of my friends here, plus some kids too.”
“I didn’t know! You’re supposed to bring a gift to these things!” I protest.
“Lucky you, I picked something off the registry. They’re getting really nice set of Le Creuset dishes, I guess. You can piggyback on my gift. Ready to go inside?”
I nod, and he whisks me into the restaurant. It’s a tiny Italian place, and every surface is made of mismatched old wood. We go straight past the empty hostess stand and several tables laden with delicious-looking, garlicky food. The party of fifty or so people is a bit subdued, with everyone standing around and chatting in small groups.
There are probably ten kids playing in a side room, ranging from toddlers to elementary school age. My heart melts when a toddler runs by me, chased by a pretty blonde who was probably her mother.
“Hey, you came!”
I turn and see that Mason is surrounded by a group of women. His megawatt smile tells me that’s a good thing. He beckons us over.
“Cady, this is everybody,” Mason says. “Alice, Bea, Emmie, Sarah, and Gretchen.”
The girls all smile and greet me with waves. A couple of them say hi. I’m sort of awkward, but Jett jumps in and saves me.
“This is my girlfriend, Cady,” Jett says. Mason gives him a look, but I’m not privy to whatever that’s about.
“Hi,” I say, waving to them all. “It’s nice to meet you guys.”
Jett puts his arm around my waist. “We should go say hi to the couple of the hour.”
We approach a young couple who are chatting animatedly with an older couple. I look at the engaged couple, and see their happiness written plain all over their faces. It’s hard not to find their glee contagious.
Jett waits until the right moment to interject. “Hey, guys. Danny, Mary, this is Cady. Cady, this is Mary and Danny. I’ve known Mary since college, if you’d believe that. They are getting married.”
I lean forward to shake both their hands. “It’s a pleasure!”
“Honestly, the pleasure is mine,” Mary says. “I’m so glad to get to meet Jett’s girlfriend. I was getting worried about him for a minute there.”
I laugh. “I’m worried now, honestly.”
“Here, come on, let’s get you a glass of wine,” Mary commands. “You can tell me about yourself.”
I let her escort me to the bar, and sip a bit of red wine. We chat about our jobs a little. Mary is a thousand times more enthusiastic about everything than anyone I’m friends with, which I find charming.
I keep track of Jett out of the corner of my eye. It’s not long before Jett is playing with a couple of the little girls, dancing with them and cracking them up. My heart starts to hurt, in the best possible way. He’s a complete natural with kids, doing a wacky dance and dissolving them into a pile of giggles.
“He’s good with kids,” Mary says, nodding at him. “You’re lucky. Danny is super awkward around kids.”
I bite my lip, unsure how to respond. Yeah, he might be good with kids… and he might be fathering my baby… but doing the math there is just too much to ask of me right now.
“Omigod, I’m sorry,” Mary says, rolling her eyes at herself. “I didn’t mean… I’ve had too much wine to talk to people, probably.”
“It’s not even a thing,” I wave her off. “And you’re right, I am lucky.”
I smile at Mary, while I keep watching Jett out of the corner of my eye. This is the problem right here, I think. He makes me feel so friggin good. He’s checking all the boxes for what I want in a future mate… but I’m putting the cart before the horse, trying to have a baby while I tentatively start to date him.
I know that what I feel for Jett is foolish. When I’m fat and pregnant, he won’t want anything to do
with me anymore. But right now, looking at him as he slow dances with the youngest of the girls, moving around with her on his feet… my heart is going insane.
Telling me that I love him.
Telling me to say aloud something, anything, about how I feel.
Sipping my wine, I wonder if this is how my mom felt about my dad, right before child protective services took me away. For the first time in a long time, I desperately wish that she were around so I could ask.
After a while, Jett comes over to me. He is so tall and dashing, I can’t stand it.
“Having fun?” he asks, swooping in for a kiss.
“Yeah. Mary is nice,” I say, smiling.
“She is. Her fiancé is great too.”
“Mmhm. It was fun watching you dance with the girls over there,” I say, nodding at them.
His smile is easy. “Oh yeah. I’ve known Melanie and Jamie literally since they were born. I like playing uncle Jett.”
“You seem really natural with kids,” I say, swirling the wine in my glass. “Why don’t you have any kids?”
Jett slides me a gaze. “I’ve thought about it before. I just haven’t found the right girl, I guess.”
I don’t know how to take that. Is he including me in his calculations when he says that? I wonder.
“And here I thought you were an irredeemable playboy, destined to break hearts forever,” I tease.
I see that I’ve lost his attention. He’s looking down my top at my cleavage. He pulls at the neckline just a hair, sneaking a peek.
“Really?” I whisper, batting at his hand.
“I can’t help it. Your tits are looking fantastic tonight,” he says with a shrug. “I can’t wait to get you home and rip that shirt off of you.”
I blush, but I can’t help smiling. “You’re terrible.”
“You like it,” he says, raising brow.
And he is right. I do like it.
In fact, I think I might love it.
Chapter Seventeen
Jett
I sit in the parking lot of Cure, a bar I’ve agreed to meet my brother Jax, Cady, Mason, and Alex at. I’m currently listening to the new Rae Sremmurd, and promising myself that I’ll stay cool. I won’t let him push my buttons.
