by M. K. York
Eli patted his leg through the blanket. “Neil meant we’d talked about it and we agreed we’d help out. But I’m concerned about you when we’re at work.”
“What—you don’t need to live with me, for God’s sake. I can get around just fine. I’m going to be doing laps of this floor later. I’m fit as a slightly beat-up fiddle.”
“We’ll talk about it.”
“I don’t need home health nursing!”
“We’ll see.”
“Okay, fine, whatever, Wonder Twins,” muttered Pete. “Guilt powers, activate.”
“You’re so old,” Neil informed him. “No one even remembers what that’s from.”
“Yeah, it isn’t my fault if you’re culturally impoverished.”
Eli laughed a little. “I do have to go see a patient. I just stopped in for a minute.”
“To fight with me?”
“To fight with you.” Eli smiled at Pete.
Neil turned to follow Eli out, but Pete grabbed his wrist with a surprisingly strong grip.
“Just a moment, young man,” Pete said in a low, foreboding voice.
Neil sighed, letting his wrist go limp before tugging it out of Pete’s grasp. “What is it?”
Pete watched keenly until Eli was well out of the room. “What’s the deal with you? You seem...perky today. Maybe disrespectfully perky, given that your mentor and friend was at death’s doorstep. Still could be.”
“Purely your imagination.” Neil thought he managed haughty pretty well, even if he couldn’t quite keep the smile off his face.
“Yeah, right.” Pete laughed. It was the first time he’d really sounded like his old self.
“I’ve got a surgery to get back to. I’m sure the R3 is going to page me any minute.”
“Of course.” Pete snorted. “We can continue this conversation later.”
“Or never,” Neil called as he made for the door. “Never is good!”
* * *
Eli caught up to him on his way back from evening rounds, appearing around the corner from the locker room as Neil emerged in street clothes. “Do you have a minute?”
“Yeah, of course,” said Neil, suddenly breathless. Eli gave him a little, sweet smile and leaned against the wall.
“Pete’s going to be ready for discharge tomorrow. His sister is planning on taking him home and getting him settled, but then she’s got to catch a plane. We could go over after work, make sure he’s all set.”
“Is Home Health involved?”
Eli sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “No, not yet. Pete’s been very clear about not wanting them. I told him we’ll see, but if anything makes me concerned I’m getting them on board.”
“Okay. Do you want to go over together? I’ve got a surgery that should be done around four. I could be out by six.”
“I’m going to try to head over there earlier, probably four or five. Can you come over and meet us?”
“Sure. Text me if you want me to bring dinner.”
“Okay, great.” Eli smiled at him.
Neil glanced back at the locker room; he swiped his badge on impulse and grabbed Eli’s arm, dragging him back in.
“Wh—” Eli started to say, laughing. The locker room was empty, but Neil pulled him farther back, into the last row of lockers, before kissing him. For a second Eli stiffened, but then he melted into it. Neil kept his hands on Eli’s waist, leaned himself back against a locker, ignoring the handle digging into his back.
When they broke apart, Eli tipped his head down to rest it on Neil’s shoulder. “Oh, Neil,” he whispered, smiling.
“Missed you today,” said Neil, peppering his hairline and ear with small kisses.
“You saw me.”
“Not enough.”
“How about tonight?” Eli lifted his head to meet Neil’s eyes.
Neil grinned. “How about tonight?”
Eli laughed silently. “Do you want to see me tonight?”
“Yes. Absolutely. Let’s do it.”
“Okay. I’ll—Do you want to come over? Or we could go out for dinner.”
“You’re not worried about being seen in public with me?”
“No making out at the table.”
“We’re over thirty. It’s not making out, it’s foreplay.”
“Fine, no foreplay at the table.” Eli rolled his eyes, but couldn’t quite stop smiling.
“I’ll take that deal. Where do you want to go?”
“Oh, that place with the—I’m feeling like Thai, you know—”
“Across from the Korean barbecue?”
“Yes, that one.”
“I’ll meet you there. Are you ready to go?”
“Yes. See you there in fifteen?”
“Something like that.” Neil leaned in for another kiss, got a little nip on his lower lip for his troubles.
He let Eli go with some reluctance, and Eli left the locker room a few seconds ahead of him. Neil found himself grinning into the empty room; he’d never felt so lighthearted among the wilderness of wadded-up jackets and sensible shoes before.
Neil was humming to himself in the car on the way over. He had to laugh when he realized it was one of the songs from the mix he’d left in Eli’s car.
At the restaurant, Eli already had a table for them. He was sitting by himself, next to the window, which made Neil smile again; he was squinting at the menu at arm’s length, clearly avoiding putting on his glasses.
Neil dropped into the seat across from him. “You’re going to have to admit you need them to read. They make you look distinguished, anyway.”
Eli laughed explosively, dropping the menu. “I don’t think I need to look any more distinguished than I already do,” he said, gesturing at his hair.
“It’s a good look on you.” Neil picked up his own menu. “What do you think? I’m leaning tom kha gai.”
“I’ll probably go with tofu pad thai. It comes with the salad with the peanut sauce. Best of both worlds.” Neil opened his mouth, inhaling, and Eli reached across to lightly smack the back of his hand. “No jokes!”
“Aw,” said Neil, pretending to pout, but quick as a flash turning his hand upright to tangle his fingers in Eli’s.
Eli flushed a little, but he left his hand in Neil’s, and he smiled at Neil.
“I wasn’t really prepared for this,” said Eli, watching Neil carefully.
“What, dinner?” Neil let go of his hand to flip to the second page of the menu. “Not my fault.”
“No.” Eli’s voice was soft and serious. “You. You’re so—playful. Fun.”
“Hey, I watch the BBC and listen to NPR. I can be deep.” Neil put on his best Very Serious face.
Eli shook his head, smiling a little. “Not what I meant. You just—you make everything more interesting.”
“Well, good.” They were still sitting there, smiling at each other, when the waiter came to get their order.
The soup was perfect—hot and sweet and sour—and Neil couldn’t stop looking at Eli’s hands, his forearms where he’d rolled his sleeves up.
They ended up talking about Pete (“I’m still worried he’s going to try to do too much, or not call when he needs to call,” said Eli, frowning) and the hospital (Neil wiggled his eyebrows: “I heard that OB who’s getting sued for doing a pudendal block without consent is hiring the lawyer who handled the surgeon who was cheating on his wife with a patient”) and veered wildly into the places they’d been (Eli, somehow, had only been in DC once in his life; Neil had never been to Hawaii) and still wanted to go, with the soft implicit promise that they might go there together.
They reached for the check at the same time, locked eyes and laughed, hands still hovering over it.
“How do yo
u feel about being treated by your much wealthier older boyfriend?” asked Eli, mouth working on a wry smile.
“You know, when you put it like that.” Neil lifted his hand straight up and away from the check. Eli burst out laughing.
Eli couldn’t stop smiling as he scribbled out the tip and his signature.
“Boyfriend, huh,” said Neil as they walked back out to the parking lot, bumping his shoulder against Eli’s.
“Well.” Eli was smiling again. “It looks that way.”
“It does, doesn’t it.” Neil threaded his fingers through Eli’s.
“Do you want to come over?”
“I certainly do.”
They split up reluctantly at the cars—Neil’s was half a block away from Eli’s—and Eli said, “I’ll see you in a few minutes?”
“Yeah. Yeah.” Neil went in for a quick kiss, and when he drew back Eli was staring at him, his face so warm and full of affection that he had to go back for a second.
When he knocked at Eli’s door, he found himself being dragged in and kissed senseless.
He couldn’t say he minded.
* * *
It was a good thing the surgeries the next day were routine. His mind wasn’t on them; between Eli and Pete, there was too much to think about.
At the end of his first surgery he checked his phone. Just a message from Eli—Pete’s set up for discharge, he’ll be out around one—and he texted back, OK, thanks and grabbed a cup of chowder that he ate standing up outside the double doors to the surgery bay.
When he was finally finished with evening rounds, finished with coaching an intern through a dressing change on a patient whose incision had needed a couple of staples pulled, he called Eli.
“Hello?” Eli’s voice was a little distracted.
“Hey, it’s me,” Neil said.
“Oh! Oh. Hi.”
Neil had to smile at the sudden warmth. “I just got done. Are you guys ready for me to come over?”
“Yes. I think so. Pete!” Eli called, voice muffled, like he’d put his hand over the phone. “Neil’s off. He’s going to come by.”
There was indistinct mumbling in the background, and Eli came back on to say, “He says he doesn’t need a nursemaid. Come on by.”
“Will do,” said Neil with a laugh.
Pete was sitting up in front of the television when he got in; he had his feet propped up on an ottoman that looked new, and a look of pure disgruntled annoyance on his face.
“Neil!” he bellowed, when Eli let Neil in at the door. Eli gave Neil a quick, sideways half smile. “Save me from this bullshit.”
“Which bullshit is that, exactly?” Neil dropped into the armchair.
Pete jerked a thumb over his shoulder at Eli, who was standing with arms folded. “He’s acting like I broke both arms.”
Eli rolled his eyes. “No heavy lifting! It’s not unreasonable. You have a new stent. Are you even going to take your warfarin?”
“Of course I am! Do I look like an idiot?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Eli shot back. “From here you look a lot like—”
“Gentlemen, gentlemen!” Neil held out his arms like a ref and whistled, badly. “Pete. You take your meds and listen to the cardiologist. Eli. No nagging. Problem solved.”
Eli made a face at him while Pete blew a raspberry.
“Oh my God,” Neil marveled. “Here I’ve been under the impression that you’re both adults, and I was wrong this whole time.”
“Hey,” said Pete, “as long as we’re on the subject of you.”
“Oh, shit,” said Eli.
“Eli!” Pete put one hand over his heart. “My delicate nerves!”
Neil glowered at him. “Spit it out.”
“You two seem suspiciously cheerful.”
“Oh, do I?” Eli threw his hands into the air. “Pete, I swear—”
“Suspiciously. Cheerful.”
Eli glanced over at Neil, and Neil read hesitation, indecision there. Neil shrugged a little at him, raising his eyebrows.
Eli turned back to Pete, folding his arms. “Fine. We’re seeing each other. We are definitely not talking to you about it.”
“Oh ho!” Pete crowed, clapping vigorously. “I think you mean you aren’t talking to me about it in front of Neil. Right?”
“No. Absolutely not.”
“Neil. Deets. Later.”
“Who taught you to say deets?” said Neil. “Give me the remote. This show is just going to get your blood pressure up.”
“Good luck with that. I’m on enough antihypertensives to stun an elephant.”
“Don’t talk like that about your cardiology care,” called Eli, rattling something in the fridge. “I might take it personally.”
“If I thought talking shit about your skills would make you leave I might try it!”
“Neil, can I talk to you for a minute?” Eli said, sticking his head around the corner.
Neil followed him into the brighter light of the kitchen. “I don’t want to leave him alone tonight,” said Eli, voice low enough that Pete wouldn’t hear. “I’m going to stay over.”
Neil nodded. “You want me to stay?”
“Actually, I was thinking if you could stay tomorrow night—” Eli sighed. “It’s not perfect, but—”
“No, it’s a good idea. Somebody should be here.”
Eli nodded. “When are you on call again?”
“Night after next.”
“We can trade off for a couple of days, then.”
“Yeah. It should work.”
Leaning back against the counter with his hip, Eli rolled his bottle of water in his hands. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Neil shrugged one shoulder. “Shit happens.”
Eli smiled faintly, raising his eyebrows, looking away. “It—I could have handled things—better.”
“I don’t know about that.” Neil couldn’t meet Eli’s eyes, staring at the water bottle where Eli was still fiddling with it. “I can’t complain.”
“Maybe you should.”
“Nope. Not happening.” Neil stole a glance back—Pete was out of sight, the television chattering happily—and leaned in for a kiss, putting his hand over Eli’s cold fingers.
Eli tipped his forehead forward against Neil’s. “I feel selfish,” he whispered.
“I feel really fucking happy,” Neil whispered back. That got a smile from Eli.
“Me too,” Eli murmured. “Even though—this isn’t the best timing.”
“It’s good enough.” Neil kissed him again and drew back. “I should get going. I’ve got to be in clinic tomorrow morning.”
Eli nodded and followed him back out to the living room, where Pete was clearly starting to doze off on the couch.
“Pete.” Neil put his hand on Pete’s shoulder. Pete startled awake.
“Hey, what is it?”
“Just wanted to tell you I’m taking off. You need anything?”
“Nah, I’m good.” Pete yawned hugely. “Feel like I could sleep for a week.”
“Good thing for you that’s the plan.” Neil smiled down at him. “Sack out, old man.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Pete muttered, eyelids already drooping.
Eli walked with Neil to the door and stepped outside with him. In the darkness, lit by the orange glow of streetlights, Eli looked up at Neil.
“What is it?” asked Neil quietly, half-afraid to break the spell.
Eli shook his head tightly. “Just thinking too much.”
“Stop it.” Neil ducked his head to kiss Eli. “You’ll have plenty of time for that bullshit later. Tonight you’ve got to sleep.”
Eli laughed weakly. “I just—do you know what my Fr
amingham risk score for a cardiac event is?”
“Oh, Christ. No. Don’t do this to yourself. Don’t tell me you put it in one of those online calculators.”
“I did. It wasn’t that bad but it wasn’t great. What—” Eli stopped abruptly.
“Hey,” said Neil. “We’ll burn that bridge when we come to it.”
Eli looked startled, mouth twisting in a surprised, rueful smile.
“What?” Neil squinted at him. “Oh. I thought you had me figured.”
“Figured for what?” asked Eli, sounding simultaneously agonized and like he was laughing at himself.
Neil smiled at him, a small smile that got bigger as Eli flushed. “A sure thing,” Neil said, and cupped Eli’s cheek in his hand.
Eli shut his eyes and turned his face into Neil’s hand, letting out a shuddering breath.
Neil leaned in; he took his time, for once, and kissed Eli gently, just pressing their lips together. When they pulled back, Eli’s eyes were shiny and damp.
“It’s been a hell of a week,” Eli whispered, hands locked together at the small of Neil’s back.
“Yeah, but we’re all still alive.”
Eli choked slightly on the laugh that escaped him.
When Neil finally started to walk away, Eli caught his hand and squeezed for a minute before letting go.
* * *
He made it through the next day on pure will: it was always harder to focus in clinic than the OR, and he had to ask patients to repeat themselves more than once. But he wrote down enough meaningful scribbles to note the justifications for surgery, or the contraindications, and managed to grab lunch with Mark between the morning and afternoon clinics.
Mark frowned at him across the cafeteria table. “What?” asked Neil, defensively.
“You look different.” Mark jammed a roll into his mouth. “What’s up with that?” he added around a mouthful of food.
“It’s been a long week. Trying to get Pete settled in at home.”
“Yeah, that’s not it.” Mark stopped suddenly, sitting up straighter. “What the fuck, Carmona.”
“What?” Neil scowled at him.
“You got laid!”
Neil rolled his eyes. “Thin fucking evidence, buddy.”
