by LJ Maas
"The night is not one I will soon forget." He nodded in Gabrielle's direction. "It made even an old man such as me thirst for vengeance. I used to lose my temper too easily as a young man, and I thought my ways of violence were mended. When I looked upon my small nuer, I felt all the old anger bubble forth.
"My student woke me in the middle of the night. I peeked through the curtains and saw a young man. In his arms, he held a small woman, but being unable to see her face at the time, I never would have thought it to be our Gabrielle. By the time I put on my robe, the young man fled. He left a pouch of talants, telling my student to heal the woman, and that her master would come for her later. The young man was your son, Tong zhi zhe."
"Solan attacked me, then brought me to you?" Gabrielle asked in wonder. Her question made it apparent that she didn't quite believe Solan when he said he didn't join the men in their debaucheries that evening.
"I have found that it is extremely rare for a man to treat a woman so, then to bring her to a healer. No, nuer, I do not believe the young man harmed you in any way. I saw none of that blackness within his heart. He never returned throughout the whole season you lived in my home, and he never told your master where you were either." Yu Pan responded.
"Wait a minute," I interrupted. "You mean you lived with Yu Pan for a year? What of the man who owned you? How did--"
Yu Pan held up a hand and I went immediately silent.
"Perhaps we should shed light upon the past. Some little time after delicate Gabrielle had been lost in a game of chance to the Pirates who owned the ship in question, I was given my freedom. I had saved and purchased my freedom from a forgiving master. It was my home that Gabrielle was brought to that evening. I practiced the healing arts, and taught my students the same.
"The night in question, I did not think I would have a patient to care for come the morning. She was badly off, many hurts to attend, physically as well as mentally. It took much time for the girl to finally fight her way back. She accomplished what no other patient of mine has ever done, and she has truly become my best pupil."
I knew I held tears in my eyes as my mind's eye conjured up the images of my little Gabrielle, and her broken body. She reached out, took my hand, and smiled at me in reassurance. How like her, when it should have been me heartening her.
"It must have been so painful for you, my little one." I said.
"I don't know, Xena. I don't remember any of that season that I lived with Yu Pan." Gabrielle responded.
"Nothing?"
"No," she answered quickly. "It's missing time from my life."
"But--" I began.
"Perhaps the rest of the tale should be told with an audience of only one." Yu Pan interjected tactfully. "May I suggest that we reconsider young Solan's healing?" He looked between the two of us.
"I'm not sure Gabrielle's up to confronting Solan just yet." I added.
"No, Xena, if Yu Pan believes that this might soften Solan's heart to the healing, then we can't deny him this chance. I can do this."
When she set her jaw in that determined sort of way that she possessed, I absolutely believed her. "She truly is your best pupil Master Yu Pan." I said. Then I watched as Gabrielle blushed.
Perhaps it was unnecessary, but I bestowed the title of Master on this old man, for truly there was much more to him that met the eye. If Yu Pan had one jot of influence in Gabrielle's edification, then he was indeed a Master educator.
"There is no better time than the present," Yu Pan said.
The old man rose, fully expecting us to follow him. I allowed him to take the lead for one reason only. He walked through the door, and out into the stone corridor. It was then that I slipped an arm about Gabrielle's waist and stole a most pleasant kiss.
* * *
I paced and Yu Pan watched. His head never seemed to tire from swiveling to and fro, watching my movement. The man's calm demeanor could drive a Hestian Priestess to hard drink. Gabrielle sat at Solan's bedside for a long time. They whispered to one another in voices so low that even my hearing couldn't pick up but a few of the words exchanged.
I wondered if Gabrielle would share with me what they were saying. I knew, however, that I would not ask her to. I suppose I mostly wondered if they were discussing only their own mutual past, or if my pitiful presence as a mother figure in Solan's life came up.
Gabrielle cleared her throat, and when I looked up, she was standing there in the doorway, her eyes swollen slightly from another bout with tears.
"Yu Pan, Solan regrets his earlier behavior, and wishes to know if you would consent to meet with him again?" Gabrielle asked the healer.
We all knew it was a formality, but I still think I held my breath a bit before I saw the old man rise, and walk into the other room.
"Are you well, little one?" I asked as tenderly as possible.
"Yes, love, I am."
"And . . . between you and Solan? Is it settled between the two of you?" I continued to prod.
"Xena, he was a boy in a man's body. He did what he did because he was afraid." Gabrielle responded with her usually compassionate tone.
"Fear is no excuse!" I hissed in response. Now it was I who was angered. I feared that perhaps Gabrielle was doing this because she knew what it meant to me. I should have known her better.
"My love," she squeezed both my hands. "Who am I to discount someone's fear? I lived most of my life in abject terror for my life, doing whatever others forced me to do because of it. I won't disregard Solan's fear."
We moved to the other side of the room, out of eyesight, but within earshot of Solan and Yu Pan. We sat on the low-lying couch so I could hold Gabrielle close to me. Still, I listened to the sounds emanating from the other room.
* * *
"We meet again, my young friend." Yu Pan greeted Solan as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened on what was turning out to be an exceedingly long day.
"Let me explain my life's work to you, my friend. Would you mind indulging an old man?"
"Please, I'd like very much to hear." Solan answered.
I was growing sleeping, having leaned back on the couch, Gabrielle snuggled close to me. I closed my eyes and listened. Solan sounded like someone else just then, and perchance he was. Have I not changed? Am I the same Conqueror who ruled this land five, or even ten seasons past? Hades, am I the same woman that crept down on my knees to convince this woman, I now hold in my arms, that she needn't steal food from my table? I opened my eyes and found green eyes staring right back at me.
"I felt you thinking of me," Gabrielle commented dreamily.
I chuckled and pressed her closer. "Indeed I was. All happy thoughts, little one . . . always happy thoughts of you."
Again, I shut my eyes and relaxed. We are such different women now, grown different in such a short time. Why should it surprise me that this magic that now coils throughout my life, should not touch every single person living within these walls. I relaxed even further as I heard Yu Pan explain the philosophy of his art.
"A well and healthy body is a perfectly balanced machine. The idea of pairs of opposites hanging balanced against one another, such as day and night, sun and moon, light and dark, is expressed by yin and yang. Qi, which you pronounce, ch'i is often translated as vital force, vital energy, or life force. Qi is both energy and matter. Qi flows in, around, and through the body in channels or meridians.
"I use my knowledge, and my ability of my own Qi, along with nature's Qi, to look at what is out of balance within your own vital force. Through sight, sound, touch, the incessant questions I ask you, and my stories, I treat the cause of your illness directly. I treat the cause and, at the same time, support and encourage your body's own ability to cure the illness. In this case, to mend broken and bruised areas that exists within you. In my language, this is called fu zheng."
A rustling sound of cloth moving reached my ears. I was becoming as hypnotized as Solan must be by the healer's tone.
"Whether you realized it, Gabrielle alread
y taught you the breathing and meditative techniques called Qigong. This works by manipulating or affecting the flow of Qi through exercise, breathing, and meditation. Qigong exercises produce very strong healing effects. You may note that even the Conqueror has a daily practice, of using Qigong. I have seen her on the balcony. This daily use of Qigong maintains good health and prevents illness before it starts.
"What you have already experienced is the massage techniques on your hands. This is Tui Na, and is translated as pushing and pulling. It refers to a system of massage, body manipulation, and stimulation of acupuncture points by hand.
"Listen, my young friend, and I will tell you a story as I work." Yu Pan finally said.
"Wang Zhaojun was born Wang Qiang in Zigui county, Hubei province. She was a Han dynasty court lady married off to a ruler of the Xiongnu, or as you say, Huns.
"In her teens, she entered the palace as one of the numerous candidates from whom Emperor Yuan Di chose his concubines, said to number in the thousands. Again, I do not know this to be fact, as I did not see them all, but I suspect some exaggeration may have occurred." I could hear the smile in Yu Pan's tone.
"Wang Zhaojun was a daring and determined young woman who entered the court willingly to save her father, a scholar-official, from persecution. She was beautiful, intelligent, and well read. So confident was she of her own beauty, or perhaps so honest, that she refused to bribe the court painter. The artist, Mao Yanshou, accepted bribes when he did portraits of the candidates, from which the emperor used to choose his concubines. As a result, he painted an unflattering picture, and she was passed over by the emperor. She did not like the thought of wasting her life in court, and hoped that some day something would happen that would free her from her baneful existence.
"Some time later, Xiongnus, a nomadic people to the north who you call the Huns, wished to establish friendly relations with the Han dynasty. Their Chanyu, or Khan, came to the Han capital Chang'an and requested a Han princess as a bride. This was a way of cementing relations between two lands. Instead, Han Emperor Yuan Di thought he would send one of his imperial concubine candidates, and give her away like his own daughter. He asked for volunteers. Of course, the idea of leaving their homeland, and comfortable life at the court for the grasslands of the far and unknown north was abhorrent to most of the young women, but not to Wang Zhaojun. She saw it as a chance to leave the empty palace life, and possibly play a far more important role than she ever would in Chang'an. She requested and was accepted.
"She left her home in China and died many years later in a country far to the north. It is an unfortunate event in life that women have always been so married in the interests of diplomacy. Wang Zhaojun was the exception to that rule, however. She chose her life's path; she did not let it choose her.
"You see, my young friend, selecting your own path is of the utmost importance. Choose for yourself, Solan…do not let the fates choose for you."
* * *
I stood on the balcony and breathed in the early morning air. Cool and crisp, it still held the pungent aroma from the recently harvested olive trees surrounding the castle. Yesterday's turn of events sapped a great deal of my energy, and I came outside to stretch. Sometime last evening during Yu Pan's healing and stories, Gabrielle and I both fell asleep. When the moon was low in the early morning sky, Yu Pan awakened us, and I carried Gabrielle down to our own rooms.
I stared across the courtyard and out onto the training field. I watched the man to whom I owed so much. Yu Pan was confident that Solan would be well in the morning, and it comforted me on many levels. Most of all, I was glad because it meant that Solan had managed to purge himself of the anger and guilt he had been living with for so many seasons.
I continued to watch the old man in the sparse light dawn provided just before the sun rose. Dressed in a long black robe and loose fitting pants, he began to do his own daily Qigong. I had to take a step back in shock as I watched the healer go from old man, to a blur of complex movement. All my suspicions were answered as I watched his routine. I was completely mesmerized, not only by his ability, but for who I now suspected he was. I may have been correct in thinking that Yu Pan was more than simply an old man. Old, to be sure, but his skills were what kept him young.
As if reading my very thoughts, he stopped in mid-motion, and turned to face me. He looked up at the balcony where I stood and bowed deeply at the waist. I grinned at the apparent secret we now shared. I bowed in turn to the healer, and returned to my bedchamber to dress. I chose loose fitting garb, as opposed to my customary leather trousers.
Gabrielle was already awake when I entered the room, saying she wanted to check on Solan. . Impatient to prove myself correct, I kissed her on the forehead and told her to meet me on the training field later, that there may be something of interest there.
I shouldn't have been surprised when I found Yu Pan waiting for me. He was seated along the low stone wall that surrounded the training field. It was still early enough that we were two of the few people in the area, although shortly the barracks would empty and soldiers and cadets alike would begin their training regimen.
"Good day to you, Conqueror." Yu Pan greeted me as I came up behind him.
"To you as well, Master Yu Pan."
To the both of us, the use of our official titles was more of a familiarity than protocol. Rather like Gabrielle teasing me by calling me Conqueror. I sat down beside him and we both simply enjoyed the sounds of the early morning. He took a puff from his pipe every now and then, finally emptying the ivory bowl of its tobacco by tapping the end of the pipe on the wall.
I watched a couple of female soldiers as they began their own morning sparring routines. Engaged in some easy hand-to-hand combat, they were oblivious of my watchful gaze. Yu Pan, however, seemed to have Gabrielle's ability of knowing precisely what I was thinking. I turned to look at him and he smiled knowingly, looking back himself at the female soldiers.
"Some days I wish that Gabrielle knew more about taking care of herself in that way." I answered his unasked question.
"I am most sure that when the time comes, Gabrielle will possess all the abilities that she needs. She has survived her life thus far without such skills," he answered.
"At what cost? I'm not content to have her simply survive. I won't have her become a victim, ever again."
"Be careful what you wish for, Conqueror." Yu Pan cautioned me. "Shall I tell you a story?
"By all means," I answered.
"Sun Wu, known to history as Sun Zi, Philosopher Sun, was a great military strategist of whom you no doubt have heard. A native of the State of Qi, he was once summoned by King He Lu of the State of Wu in the lower Changjiang valley.
"I've read all of your thirteen articles on military strategy and tactics, said the king, and I want you to command my army, at least on a trial basis.
"Sun Wu willingly accepted.
"Sun Wu had claimed that discipline was the key to any army's effectiveness. The King wanted to test his abilities and asked, 'Would your training methods work even with women?'
"With Sun Wu's agreement, the King assembled 180 of his concubines to be trained. Sun Wu divided them into two companies and appointed two company commanders.
"The women were asked whether they knew their right hands from their left, and back from front. Then Sun Wu told them how to carry out military orders.
"'When the drum signals a left turn, you must turn to your left. When it signals, turn completely around.' So the general raised his battleaxe, the drum signaled a right turn, and the women stood there and laughed.
"'Perhaps the rules are not clear and you are not familiar with orders. That's my fault,' said Sun Wu. Sun Wu patiently reiterated the rules and the drum sounded again. Again, the women laughed and made no move. 'The first time was my fault,' said the general. 'But now I have repeated the instructions and you still do not follow, so the blame is on you.' He ordered both company commanders executed.
"The King was stu
nned. 'I cannot live without these two women ! I hope you'll spare them,' he said.
"Sun Wu replied, 'You have appointed me your commanding general, and I must exercise a general's authority.'
"The executions were carried out, and the next-ranking women appointed commander. The orders were given again, and this time the terrified women followed instructions exactly.
"Sun Wu turned to the king, 'The women's companies are now at your service.'
"The unhappy king said, 'Please return to your home. I don't want to see you any more.'
"The general then asked gravely whether the monarch's professed admiration for good military strategy was only talk, or was he willing to put it into practice? King He Lu took the point and confirmed Sun Wu's authority. The women's troop, which started as a joke, later became an effective fighting force.
"With Sun Wu at their head, the Wu troops defeated the powerful State of Chu in the west and occupied its capital, thereafter threatening the states of Qi and Jin to the northwest, becoming a dominant power in the area." Yu Pan finally finished his story and he looked across at me as he added.
"As I said, Conqueror, much like the King in my story, perhaps you should take care in what you wish for. Gabrielle is already a formidable opponent. She possesses skills which might make some rulers wary."
"Are you saying I should have reason to fear Gabrielle?" I chuckled. "That she might take command of the Empire?" I laughed it off, but then I thought more earnestly about the notion.
"It would not be the first time such a thing has occurred."
I laughed aloud this time and watched as the healer smiled along with me. "Gabrielle already knows that the Empire is hers for the asking."
"You have changed much, Conqueror. It seems as though you have your life well in hand, and do not need the interference of an old man."
"Somehow, for some reason I think there is more to you than wisdom and age. I feel there is much to your story still left untold, and I consider your advice far from interfering."
