by Judith Stacy
He pulled away, distancing himself from her. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You’ve shut yourself off from life, hiding behind your desk and your work. You refuse to feel any emotion.” Caroline reached for him, but he pulled away. “See? You won’t even let me touch you. You won’t accept any comfort.”
“I don’t need any comfort.”
“Yes, you do,” Caroline said. “Everybody does. But somehow, trying not to disappoint your uncle and not turn out like your father, you’ve gotten your emotions all mixed up. You won’t allow yourself to feel anything.”
“This is nonsense. Where’s Joey?” Stephen headed for the staircase in the hallway.
Caroline darted around him and blocked his path. He could easily have pushed her aside, but he stopped.
“You have to listen to reason, Stephen.”
“Get out of my way.”
He moved around her and went up the stairs.
“Stephen!”
Caroline charged up the steps after him.
Chapter Twenty-One
Caroline caught him in the upstairs hallway. She touched his arm. No match for his strength, she knew he could have kept going. Instead, he stopped.
“Please, Stephen, think about what you’re doing. If you take Joey back home with you now, you must ask yourself if this is how you want him to grow up. Living in a house without his parents, without anyone who truly, deeply loves him?”
Stephen stared down at her, the lines of his face grim and unrelenting. His muscles were taut, his breathing heavy.
“Do you really want him to grow up like that?” she asked. “The way you did, Stephen?”
He winced, then let his anger consume him again. “You think you know what I’m like? Just because you take over my house, my life and analyze my handwriting?”
“No,” she said softly. “It’s because I love you.”
Stephen reeled back as if she’d struck him. He stared at her, vulnerable, stunned. For an instant, Caroline wished the words back, then changed her mind, despite the look on Stephen’s face.
Footsteps sounded on the stairs and Kellen joined them in the hallway.
“Please, Stephen,” Kellen said gently. “Don’t take him away from me. He’ll always be your nephew, no matter where he lives. He’ll always be Tommy’s son, and we both want Joey to know that. I’m going to stay here with my brother, so I can bring Joey to visit as often as you’d like. You’re welcome to come here anytime.”
Stephen turned away, paced a stride or two in the hallway. He glared at Kellen, then at Caroline for a long, agonizing moment.
Caroline didn’t know what he would do, which decision he would make. The lives of so many people hung in the balance at this moment. And again she found herself in the middle of it all.
Finally, Stephen nodded. “He can stay.”
Nervous laughter bubbled up in Kellen. “Oh, Stephen, thank you.” She reached for him, but he was already going down the stairs.
Caroline went after him. At the foot of the steps she saw him disappear out the front door. Quickly she gathered her cape, hat and handbag from the kitchen and left.
Kellen followed her onto the porch.
“Thank you. For everything,” she said, and gave Caroline a hug. “Don’t worry. I’ll take good care of Joey. Everything will turn out just fine.”
Not everything, Caroline thought as she headed toward the train depot.
Stephen was there when she arrived. He stood in the corner, arms folded, aloof and distant. Caroline bought her ticket but didn’t approach him.
When the train arrived she sat in the seat beside him. He didn’t speak to her, didn’t acknowledge her in any way. The trained pulled away from the station. Stephen stared out the window.
The journey back to Los Angeles offered nothing but time for Caroline to sit and think. Here she was beside the man she loved, but she may as well have been on the other side of the world. What was he thinking? she wondered. Was he pondering the things she’d said to him, or had he forgotten already—forgotten her—and retreated into the safety of his world of business decisions.
Maybe she’d gone too far, said things better left unsaid.
She’d always had a propensity for fixing other people’s lives, but she’d never felt the urge to take over completely, as she had with Stephen and his family. She’d never been so willing to give of herself before.
It had always been within her, she realized. But it had taken Stephen to bring it out in her. Stephen, and her love for him.
The first night she’d met him she’d sensed the power he could have over her. He’d own her. That’s what she’d thought at the time.
Now he did. She was ready and willing to give herself to him. But did he want her? Caroline would have cried right there on the train if she’d thought it would do any good.
When the train arrived in Los Angeles, they took the trolley from La Grande Station to West Adams Boulevard without speaking, without Stephen so much as looking at her. She’d telephoned from the station in Redlands and left word that Joey had been found safe and well, so the house was empty of detectives when they arrived. Stephen went straight to his office. Caroline, heartsick, went up to her room.
She should check on Brenna, should talk to Delfina, should assure the staff all was well. Should go downstairs and beg Stephen to forgive her for cutting to ribbons the safe little world he’d built for himself. But in the end, Caroline did none of those things.
A long soak in the bath revived her somewhat. She switched on the lamps in her room and dressed in a pale yellow nightgown and robe, and pinned her hair loosely atop her head.
It was dark now, and she could have fallen into bed, pulled the cover over her and not come out again for days. Maybe by then Stephen would have forgiven her, or at least be willing to talk to her.
At any rate, she couldn’t stand not knowing what he was thinking, what he was feeling, what he was doing downstairs in his office. If he was angry, she deserved his wrath. If he hated her and never wanted to see her again, she had to know that, too.
Caroline left her room. The house was still. After what they’d all been through today, everyone needed time to recover.
Descending the stairs, she mentally prepared herself for Stephen’s tirade, his hurtful words—anything he might say to her. Possibly she would never see him again after tonight. He might insist that she leave.
Caroline had visions of returning to Aunt Eleanor’s house and resuming the husband hunt. Everything in her rebelled. No, she wouldn’t go through that again.
She imagined the disappointment on her father’s face when she returned to Europe still single. And for the first time, returning to that sort of life didn’t seem appealing. Nothing seemed worthwhile without Stephen.
Outside his office, Caroline drew in a deep breath, ready to face whatever might come, then walked inside.
Lamps burned low on the desk and table. Stephen stood at his curio cabinet, his back to her. The doors were open. Music played from all the music boxes, a cacophony of unrecognizable tunes. His prized china figurines sat atop the cabinet, arranged in no particular order. He held one in each hand.
He must have heard her gasp because her bare feet were silent on the floor. He turned and just looked at her for a long time.
Caroline’s heart leaped with joy. She could hardly believe her eyes. She squelched the urge to run to him, unable to read in his face how he felt about her now. Stay or go, she couldn’t tell.
After a few minutes, Stephen set the figurines aside.
“You missed something significant when you analyzed my handwriting,” he said.
“I did?”
He nodded. “The part about how much I hate it when other people are right.”
Stephen opened his arms to her, just a tiny bit, and Caroline flew into them. She buried her face in his chest and clutched him tightly. He sealed her against him with an urgent embrace.
“
I was afraid you’d hate me,” Caroline whispered.
He rubbed his jaw against her hair. “I do hate you. Either that, or it’s love. I’m not sure which.”
She laughed and turned her face up to his. “Do you think it might be love?”
“I don’t know.” Stephen strummed his fingers against her cheek. “All these emotions you want me to experience. I can’t tell one from the other yet. And they all hurt.”
“Well, if it hurts, it’s definitely love.”
“Just my luck…” Stephen buried his mouth against the hollow of her neck. “Why couldn’t it have been just plain old lust?”
“I think there’s some of that in there, too,” Caroline said, and shifted against him.
Stephen groaned and covered her lips with his. He kissed her deeply until she moaned.
Panting, he broke off their kiss and pressed his forehead against hers. “Caroline, I’ve wanted you since the night of my birthday party, when I laid eyes on you for the very first time.”
She wound her hand around his neck and stroked his hair. “That’s lust. I’m sure of it. It was in one of those French books I read.”
Stephen groaned again. He pulled in a ragged breath. “But you’re the only one I’m lusting after. No other woman will do.”
“That’s love. I’m pretty sure.” She kissed him lightly on the lips.
His mouth devoured hers. Stephen slipped his hand to her waist, then up to cup her breast. She made a little moaning sound and pressed against him.
“Caroline…” His hot breath brushed her mouth. “Caroline…I’ve never wanted any woman like I want you. I want to show you how much. I want to make you mine.”
She opened the top button of his shirt and pressed her palm against his hard chest. Through the fabric of his white undershirt, his muscles twitched. Her knees wobbled.
“I have to leave, Stephen,” she whispered.
“What? But…” He loosened his grip on her. “Oh, I—I understand.”
Caroline slid her hand deeper inside his shirt and crinkled his chest hair in her fingers.
“I have to go upstairs now,” she said, “and match up some neckties.”
“But—I—” He realized then what she meant, and swept her off her feet into his arms. “Caroline, Caroline, you’re going to make me a raving lunatic.”
She giggled and clung to his neck as he carried her up the stairs. He kicked open the door to his bedroom and set her feet on the floor again.
Stephen touched her shoulders and slid his hands down her arms, looking deeply into her eyes. “You’re sure?” he asked.
She leaned against him. “I’m sure.”
He closed the door and eased away from her to switch on the lamp on the dresser. “I want to see you.”
She went into his arms again, feeling lost without them around her. “Do I get to look at you, too?”
“Caroline, honey, you can do whatever you want.”
Slowly, she opened all the buttons on his shirt and pulled the suspenders off his shoulders. She tugged the shirt from his trousers. He shrugged out of it and yanked his undershirt over his head.
Caroline smiled at his big bare chest. Dark, crisp hair covered him, tapering to a line that disappeared into his trousers. His belly was tight and hard, like a washboard.
She laid her hands on his shoulders and felt the power in his arms as she slid her fingers downward. Caroline’s palms tingled at the feel of him.
Her heart thumped harder in her chest as Stephen pulled the pins from her hair. It fell, curling at her waist. He opened the buttons on her robe. His fingers worked quickly until he pushed the garment back. Heat flamed inside her—from deep within herself, from Stephen, from the warmth of his gaze.
Pushing the robe off her, Stephen looped his arms around her again. He kissed her. Hot, heavy kisses. Caroline rose on her toes, meeting him, wanting him.
Awkwardly, he unbuttoned her nightgown to her waist. Stephen stood back and looked at her, the fabric spread open.
“You’re beautiful!” he whispered. Then he swept her into his arms and carried her to the bed. He yanked down the covers and laid her on the cool sheets. Standing over her, he kicked off his shoes, then peeled away his socks and trousers.
Lying on the bed, Caroline watched him. She’d never seen a naked man before, never been naked herself in front of a man. But here, with Stephen, nothing seemed more natural.
He slid out of his underwear and sat on the edge of the bed, bracing himself above her. His heart pumped harder, driving his desire faster and higher. He’d waited for her, for this moment, for weeks, for his whole life. The image before him pressed itself into his mind, sealed there forever. Caroline, her dark hair fanned out over the pillow, her gown open, her sweet body waiting for him.
Stephen stretched out beside her and she came quickly into his arms. He kissed her with a fervor he’d never experienced, something deeper than just a physical reaction.
He dropped his hand to her thigh and raised her nightgown. She trembled at his touch. He shuddered at the sight of her soft flesh. Stephen pulled her gown up until she wiggled out of it, and he flung it across the room.
She came against him fully, her naked body pressed to his. Stephen kissed her, she kissed him. He traced the soft, giving lines of her body. Her thighs, hips, belly, her breasts.
Caroline moaned and moved against him, her own hands finding their way over his body. Stephen groaned with her. He lowered his mouth to sample her breasts, tugging at her sweet nipples. She slid her leg around him, caressing him.
He moved above her, between her thighs, kissing her mouth, her cheek, her neck. He wanted her. He couldn’t wait any longer.
She held tightly to him as he eased himself against her. Her hot breath fanned his face. She raised her hips, seeking him.
Stephen fought to hold himself back, to keep from plunging into her. She was small and tight, and that made it even more difficult for him. He kissed her, easing himself into her until her body accepted him.
He moved inside her, creating a whirpool of emotion she’d never imagined. It stole her breath, made her dizzy. Caroline clung to him as the swirls inside her grew stronger. Faster they came as he moved, urging her on. Her fingers dug into his back. His relentless thrusts drove her higher, higher until they broke inside her. She arched against him, grabbing a handful of his hair as the throbbing peaked, washing over her again and again.
Stephen thought his heart would burst. He pushed himself into her one final time as the exquisite pain rolled through him, out of him, into her. He groaned, his body pulsing with the final strokes of desire. Stephen gathered her into his arms, exhausted and sated.
Some time later, he awoke. The light still burned on the dresser. The pleasant sensation that tingled through him brought a smile to his face.
“Caroline?” He rolled over. She was gone.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“Caroline?”
Stephen untangled himself from the covers and got out of bed. The door to his dressing room was open. Light spilled into the bedroom.
Rubbing his eyes, he crossed the room and found Caroline inside. His heart tumbled. She wore his white shirt, sleeves rolled back, the tail flirting with her thighs.
He leaned against the door casing. “What are you doing?”
She spun around. Her cheeks glowed and her hair was mussed. Beautiful.
Caroline waved her hand toward the rows of his suits, hanging in perfect order. Dozens of them, with white shirts alongside, neckties hung in perfect symmetry.
She touched her finger to her lips, studying his wardrobe. “I’ve never seen a man’s dressing room before,” she said. Then she looked at him standing naked in the doorway. “I’ve seen several new things tonight.”
He came to her in the center of the room. “You’re pleased, I hope, with all your new experiences?”
She grinned. “All very…impressive.”
Stephen slid his arms around her. “Come back to
bed.”
“I can’t just now,” Caroline said. “I need to take care of your neckties. After all, that’s what I’m up here for, isn’t it?”
“That is definitely not what you’re up here for,” he said.
Caroline batted her lashes innocently at him. “Then why am I here?”
Stephen laughed low in his throat, his desire for her blooming all over again. “Let me show you.”
He carried her back to bed and snuggled under the covers with her. He kissed her, touched her everywhere he’d wanted to earlier but hadn’t managed to before being overcome by more urgent needs.
Caroline did the same. With curiosity, gentleness, boldness she acquainted herself with him. She found the most delightful places on his body, places that made him writhe, made him moan, made him do the same to her.
They made love again in what began as an exchange of pleasure but ended up frantic and urgent. Caroline rose to a peak and he followed quickly, before collapsing into each other’s arms.
Afterward, Stephen propped himself up on his elbow and gazed down at her. He traced his finger down her face, over her breasts to her belly.
“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known,” he said.
Caroline rubbed her hand across his chest. “Those French books. The diagrams didn’t do the male body justice.”
He grinned, pleased. “You really read such books?”
“Of course.”
He closed his eyes. “Oh, Caroline…” Stephen leaned forward and muzzled his nose against her neck. “When you say things like that I—”
She slid her hand downward and captured him with her palm. “According to the book, this isn’t supposed to keep happening.”
Stephen lifted his head. “It’s all right with you, though?”
She smiled. “Let me show you how happy it makes me. Maybe I’ll tell you about some of the diagrams I saw.”
He shifted above her. “Oh, Caroline…”
When Stephen woke the next time, it was still dark and Caroline was still beside him. He watched her for a long time, studying each feature, committing it to memory.
