by Jodi Thomas
“But what if it was?” Maria smiled.
They talked of Christmas all the way into town. Blade wanted to get Grandmother a Pendleton cape that looked just like a blanket and a new hat and...
“It’s too much,” Maria cried.
“No,” he answered. “You don’t understand. This will be my first Christmas ever. I’ve got a family.”
He’d told her how he’d been raised. A mother who barely noticed him. No father. “You’re right. We can’t ration happiness,” Maria agreed. “Let’s go wild this Christmas and do something grand.”
By the time they got the crates just inside the side door of Whitman Grocery, it was snowing and Blade had stepped back outside to take a call. From his tone, she knew it must be work-related.
Maria sensed that Wes Whitman was near even though he hadn’t greeted her. She knew he was shy, but if he could see himself as she saw him, he’d realize how handsome he was. She liked the feel of his jaw and the gentleness of his touch. He never raised his voice. If people could have bedroom eyes, the store owner could have a bedroom voice.
She had heard enough of Blade’s phone conversation to know that there was a fire somewhere and he needed to go. Her future brother-in-law was a special agent with the ATF and arson was his specialty. He’d talked of giving it up, but some men are born with adrenaline in their bones. Within a few years, he’d have enough time in to work from home and travel only to teach.
Blade barreled through the side door. “I’ve got to go, Maria. Big burn in a warehouse in Denver. I’ll call Dakota to come get you when she’s finished.”
“No need,” a calm voice came from a few feet away. “I’ll take her home.” Wes stepped forward. “I could use time away from the store and I’ve got a four-wheeler that can handle any road.”
Blade moved closer to Maria. “What do you think?” he whispered as if the store owner wasn’t close enough to hear every word.
Maria laughed. “I think that would be just fine. I’ve lots of work to do today so when you talk to Dakota tell her not to worry.”
“Will do.” She could tell Blade was already backing up. “I keep my gear in my truck so when I reach the airport I’ll be on my way.”
“But you don’t have a ticket,” Wes said.
“I’ll make a few calls. I’ll catch a ride with one of the teams heading out. Tell Dakota I love her and I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
Maria smiled. “She already knows you love her, but she’ll want you back before Christmas.”
“Promise.” Then he was gone and she was alone with Wes.
Wes hesitated, then asked politely, “Would you like a cup of coffee before you start?”
“No thanks.” Maria almost giggled. She might be blind, but she could read Wes’s mind, and he wasn’t thinking of coffee.
“All right,” he said. “I’ll leave you to your work.”
She swore she could hear the disappointment in his voice. Smiling, she asked, “This might take what’s left of the morning. Any chance you’d buy me lunch before you take me home? Cooks rarely get to eat out.”
“I’d like that,” he said, and she guessed he was smiling. His hand lightly brushed her arm as she heard him move away.
As she began, first the inventory and then the stocking, she heard the squishy sound of wet tennis shoes circling her, then stopping.
“Need any help, lady?” asked a boy who sounded like a teenager. “I work here, have since yesterday, so I figure one of my jobs as a stocker is to help you stock. Name’s Travis Fuller.”
“No thanks.” She smiled in the direction his words came from. “I like to do it myself.”
“But you’re blind.” The kid’s voice was as squeaky as his shoes. Half man, half boy.
“I know. It’s not easy to forget. But over the years I’ve learned to deal with the loss of one sense by using my others.”
He moved closer as she explained how the material on the top of each kind of jelly or jam was different. Not so much that people would notice, but just enough that she knew what was in each jar by a brush of her fingers over the top.
Travis popped his gum and said, “But the tops of the peach jelly and the peach preserves are the same.”
“Right. The top tells me it’s peach, the weight tells me whether it’s jam or jelly.” She placed one of each in his hands. “See?”
“You’re right, the preserves are heavier.”
“I might not see like most people do, but I do see in my own way. Colors never fade in my mind. People never grow old. I judge folks by their hearts, not by their looks.”
“How do I look?” he asked.
“You’ve got a good heart, Travis. You offered to help me when no one told you to. Most people just pass by not knowing what to say to someone who can’t see them. They don’t realize that we hear them pass. And you’re honest.”
“You’re wrong there, lady. Mr. Whitman caught me stealing. Then offered me a job so I could pay him back what I owed him.”
She began lining up jars. “There you go again, being honest, Travis, and I’ll be direct, too. You need boots for weather like this. Tell me, has the snow started?”
Travis shifted. “From what I can see out the glass doors, it’s half raining and half snowing.”
She smiled. “I bet it’s beautiful on the town square. In my mind I see the evergreens around the gazebo brushed with snow, and some church group probably hung garland around the banisters with red bows on the steps. Lights hang off the roof, blinking down like icicles. I know it’s beautiful this time of year and now with the light rain, there’s a silver sparkle to it all.”
Travis cleared his throat. “I don’t know how you did it, but you see it far better than I do. I have to get back to work,” he added as he moved away. “It was nice to meet you.”
Maria hummed as she worked just like she used to when she owned a small restaurant in Dallas, before the accident.
Her world was smaller now, but far richer in some ways. She was closer to her family. Closer to nature. She’d loved the busy, fast life of the restaurant, but here she loved the gentle peace of feeling she belonged in her world.
Wes startled her an hour later as she did her final check. “Ready to go to lunch, dear?” he asked.
“I’d like that cup of coffee first, if you don’t mind.” Her hand glided in the air until she brushed his starched shirt.
Neither said a word, but when he closed the door she guessed neither had coffee on their mind. She moved into his arms and stood on her toes to kiss him hello.
The kiss was tender, almost shy. Wes didn’t rush her. He let her brush his face with her soft hands.
“I missed you,” he whispered between light kisses.
“I was only gone a few days.” With a feather touch she felt his mouth turn into a smile.
“I know. But I’ve been missing you most of my life. I was about to give up on finding you.” He laughed softly against her ear. “If whatever this is lasts a day or a lifetime, it’ll still be the peak in my life. You’ve got to understand that. I don’t want to miss out on a single moment.”
“I know how you feel.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close. “Hold me, Wes. Hold me like you’ll never let me go.”
And he did.
By the time they left for lunch her lips were slightly swollen and neither could stop smiling. He opened the door for her without touching her, but as soon as they were alone in the car, his gloved fingers laced with hers as he drove the short distance to the café.
They both ordered the special at Dorothy’s Café and talked without touching.
He told her about growing up in a small town and working in his dad’s store. He and his two brothers had sworn that they’d never own a store, but that was exactly what the
y ended up doing.
She told him about living on land that the ghosts of ancestors roamed and about her grandmother, who decided to embrace her Native American blood when she became a widow.
“She really believes if one of us walks on the land next to us, Hamilton land, we’ll die.”
“You don’t believe that?” Wes asked.
“No, but when it’s what Dakota and I have been told all our lives, it’s hard to just ignore. Davis men and women did die during the feud, and I think Dakota feared the prediction more even when we were kids.”
Over dessert she told him about the accident. It had been Christmas Eve and she’d worked a twelve-hour shift in her restaurant in Dallas. Rain had turned to snow that night. Her mother had been driving while she slept in the back. They were almost home when the wreck happened.
“I couldn’t move, couldn’t see, but I found her hand,” Maria whispered, trying to hold her voice steady. “They said my mother died on impact, but I know that her grip was strong until help arrived. She held on until she knew I was safe.”
They finished their dessert and walked back to his car, now covered in a blanket of snow. Once inside, they were in their own little world.
He pulled her close, but with their coats on they couldn’t get close enough. He whispered against her ear as if there was someone who might hear. “I want to make love to you, Maria, then I want to hold you all night long.”
“You already do in my dreams. You have for a long time.”
He kissed her nose. “From now on, if you don’t mind, include me in those dreams. I may not be there, but I’d like to hear about them.”
Slowly at first, she began to tell him how it might be. He’d kiss her, only they wouldn’t be in his office, but alone in her kitchen. The old stove would heat the area as his hands moved down her body, warming every part of her.
As she whispered how they’d make love, he held her tightly in his arms, taking in every word.
When she finished, they were both silent for a while, lost in the dream she’d painted with her words.
Finally he whispered against her ear, “I don’t know how to do all that stuff, Maria.”
“Me either, but I’ve read about it in books.”
“I’m afraid I could never be that good a lover. I couldn’t send you over the moon and back on stardust.”
She giggled. “You already do. We’ll take our time. We’ll practice.”
His laughter filled the car. “You talk like we could dance on moonbeams.”
“Not moonbeams, but maybe in the gazebo one night while it’s sparkling with tiny lights. I know it’s decorated. I can see it in my mind.”
“It’s important to you, isn’t it, dear one?”
She nodded. “I’d like a Christmas Eve memory that would erase the night of the wreck. I’d like to dance with the smell of evergreens around me and know that for just one moment I’m cherished.”
She raised her head, fighting back tears. “Is this real between us or am I dreaming now? It’s hard to tell sometimes when all the days are dark.”
Wes’s voice was raw. “It’s real. I may not be some handsome knight riding in on a white horse, but I think I’ve loved you since the day you first walked into my store.” He kissed her nose. “We can keep what’s between us secret or we can tell the world. I don’t care just as long as you drop by and kiss me from time to time.”
“Say it again,” she whispered.
“All of it?”
“No, just the part about loving me.”
“I love you, Maria. Just seeing you every Wednesday makes my week. Just your slight touch on my arm makes me all yours. Maybe we should slow down. Take our time. See where this goes. But one thing won’t change, and that’s me loving you.”
Then he kissed her so tenderly, tears ran down her face and they both laughed.
He started the car before kissing her again. “I wish we could stay here doing this for the rest of our lives, but I fear that wouldn’t be long. We’d freeze.”
“I don’t care.” She rained little kisses across his face until he caught her between his gloved hands and kissed her deep, like a man starving for the taste of her.
When he finally pulled away, the car had warmed and so had Maria. “Now that will be enough of that, dear one. I have to drive you home.”
Maria smiled. “That sounds like an order.”
“It is. If we’re going to be lovers we have to show a little restraint. Come spring everyone will be able to see in the windows so we can’t still be sitting here in front of Dorothy’s Cafe.”
She pulled his face toward her and kissed him hard on the mouth. “I don’t follow orders and though I plan to show you a great deal, restraint isn’t part of it.” Before he could put the car in gear she began telling him of a game she read about in a book. He would give her an order in bed and she’d have to follow, then it would be her turn.
She felt his face turn red, but he didn’t interrupt her story.
When she finished telling him all the rules, she whispered, “Now kiss me tenderly, Wes.”
After he did, he asked, “You have more stories like that?”
“I have a hundred,” she answered, “and if you stay around I’ll tell you them all.”
He hugged her against him. “I’m not going anywhere. In fact, I have a feeling I’m going to want to hear several of those love stories more than once.”
Wes drove her home slowly and walked her to the porch, like they were two teenagers. He stopped on the second step and she turned, knowing he didn’t feel comfortable enough to let the world in on their affair.
Maria faced him from the next step. She hadn’t tried to pull him forward, but she wasn’t ready to let go.
“No one is here,” she whispered. “Would you like to come in?”
“No. Maybe next time.” His words came wrapped in sorrow. All his life he’d been a very proper man. Never cussed. Never drank too much. Never went wild.
Maria tightened her grip. “I can’t let you go, not yet. You have to kiss me first.”
What they had was too fragile, too new, but after waiting so long to find someone, neither seemed to know how to slow down.
“Kiss me like we’re already lovers,” she whispered.
He didn’t hesitate. The one long kiss warmed her blood all the way to her toes. When he pulled an inch away, his tone was low and serious, “If you’re just teasing me, step away, Maria. I don’t think I could take it if we go any further and find out what’s between us isn’t real.”
“It’s real,” she vowed as she held his face with her cold hands. “I think I’m falling in love with you. In my heart you’re already mine and I’m already yours.”
“I’m already there, too. I may not know the words that lovers say in your books, but the feelings are there.”
She smiled. “I’ll see you in a few days, but you’re welcome to share my dreams tonight.”
He kissed her cheek and added, before he walked away, “No thanks, I think I’ll make up my own dreams tonight.” He stepped away. “Thanks to the holiday business it’ll only be two days until I’ll hold you again.”
Maria listened. The opening of the door. The sound of the engine. The swish of his wipers. The crunch of tires as he pulled away.
Maria could see nothing, but it didn’t matter. Today, the world didn’t seem as dark. Goodbye, my love, she almost said out loud.
A thumping sound came from the far end of the porch. Maria didn’t bother to turn. “You should stay inside today, Grandmother. It’s too cold for your old bones.”
The tap of the cane neared. “It might just be me, but isn’t the store owner a little friendly?”
“Not at all, considering I attacked him last week in his office.”
“He’s a good man, I guess, but not good enough for you. He’ll never be confused with handsome.”
“You’re wrong, Grandmother. To me he’s very handsome.”
“Anyone ever tell you that you’re blind, Maria?”
“Very funny, Grandmother.” She brushed past the old woman. “If you come inside I’ll tell you all about him.” When Grandmother didn’t move she added, “I’ll be mixing up banana pudding while I tell you about Wes Whitman and what a great lover he’s going to be.”
“Pudding sounds good.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
TRAVIS WORKED AT the store until eight, when Uncle Dice picked him up. As always, Dice smelled more like a horse than a human. He said he smoked one cigarette a day, but the odor seemed to hang around.
“What you got in the bag?” Dice asked as Travis climbed in the old truck.
“Supper. I’m tired of cereal three times a day. Wanda Lee told me how to make hamburger goulash. I bought the four things I’ll need with my own money. An onion, ground meat, a can of tomato sauce and macaroni. I’m assuming we have salt and pepper.”
Dice started the pickup. “I think I’ve seen some packets in one of the drawers. I plan on cooking one night soon. I’ll buy one of those pizzas that comes looking all finished, but don’t make the mistake of eating it without cooking it. Tried that once and it didn’t turn out so well.”
Travis shook his head and asked, “How is it possible none of you learned to cook? Between the three of you I’d say you’ve accumulated over two hundred years or more of living.”
Dice shrugged. “I always worked for the big ranches that served three meals a day. Between jobs I’d buy the jerky at the truck stops and live on that mixed with a can of beans or sometimes tomato soup. I like tomato soup. Add a can of sardines and you got yourself a regular feast.”
Travis stared at his uncle. “I’m amazed you’re not dead.”
“I’m getting there, don’t rush me.”
In defense of himself, Dice added, “Cap always made good money teaching, so he ate lunch in the cafeteria where he taught and ate the evening meal out. He lives on sweets and popcorn most weekends.
