“I know,” is all I can think to say to him. It’s as though he’s trying to ask me to stay again without actually saying it, and at that, the tears start to fall freely. I don’t want him to see me cry, so I hug him with both arms and let my chin rest on his shoulder. My face is turned towards the side of his head. I squeeze him tighter as the song goes on, and he squeezes me right back. We don’t want to let go.
When this song winds down, I stop and pull my head up to look at him.
“Should I stay put, or is three your limit?” I ask with a smile, wiping my damp face with my hand.
“I could dance with you all night, but I just wanted those three songs for us. You okay, love?” he asks, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear.
“Yeah . . . of course. That was great. Thank you for the dances,” I say, sniffing and stepping away just a little to try and get my composer.
“May,” he cups my jaw lightly to have me look at him.
“Yeah, I’m here,” I say. I don’t know why.
He leans in and touches our lips together lightly. I don’t want lightly, so I press a little firmer. And he takes the request and runs with it resulting in a full on heartfelt kiss that melts us to one another.
Whoops and yells come from our table, and we stop and look over at them laughing. I wipe the tears off my cheeks again just to make sure they are all gone as we make our way back to the table.
“Well that’s different,” one guys says as we sit back in our seats.
“What, dancing?” I ask on a laugh while taking my seat and scooting it a little closer to Kevin’s chair. I notice that he is doing the same thing.
“No, Kevin dancing,” he says, looking at Kevin, who is now blushing a little.
“She brings it out of me, I guess,” Kevin says, smiling a little bigger and tilting his head to me a little.
“I guess so,” Sue says in a snobbish kind of way.
“Ooh. Has he never asked you to dance?” I ask Sue as I’m smiling from ear to ear and then make a mock pout at her.
“No, not me . . . I’ve only seen him grind on a couple of eighteen year olds once, or should I say twice,” she says with a small smirk, looking at me.
My smile hits the floor, and I sit stunned at what she just said.
Kevin has tensed up, and his smile is now gone as well as everyone else’s.
“Yeah, he met some chick online, and when he came back from meeting her, he was in his own shit world. So we all took him out and got him drunk about a week or two after he got back, and he went to town on those two girls–what were their names, Rose? It doesn’t matter. Didn’t you go home with them that night, Kev?” She’s still smirking because she knows exactly what she is doing now.
“Well, I guess everyone knows who I am I take it,” I ask, looking down at the table unable to move.
“May . . . from the beach,” one of the guys says quietly.
“Yup. That’s me. If you will excuse me, I’m going to go to the bathroom.” I stand up and walk towards the bathroom, leaving Kevin staring at me.
“What the FUCK, Sue?” I hear Kevin say loudly.
I hear chairs scraping on the floor, and I pick up my pace and head into the ladies’ door.
I grab both sides of the sink and look in the mirror.
“He cheated on you?” I ask quietly to my own reflection.
Just then, Rose comes in the door, carefully. When I see her, I turn the water on, wet a towel, ring it out, and wipe it under my hair on the back of my neck.
“May?” she asks.
“Yeah. I’m fine,” I say, not looking at her because I will cry.
“I didn’t ask anything, and no . . . you’re not,” she replies. “Sue’s a bitch. Kevin has kind of always been the eligible bachelor of our group, and she’s had the hots for him for a while.”
“Yeah, I’ve been hearing that same story quite a lot here lately,” I say, shaking my head and rolling my eyes.
“May, everyone at that table just now saw it . . . He’s completely in love with you, has been for a while now.”
“Yeah, well like I said, I am only in town for work. I’m leaving Sunday, so I guess it doesn’t really matter, does it,” I spit. I don’t want to talk to about this with someone I met twenty minutes ago, but as I think that, I also think about how I don’t have anyone else to talk to. Well, not any more. I turn around to face her and lean back against the sink.
“It really fucking hurt when he had to come back home. I was shit at everything: Work was ridiculous; I lost my fights; I was just in shit. God, it hurt so badly. I don’t think I could survive that again, if I am being honest,” I confess.
“If we are being honest,” she says, taking a couple of steps closer. “I don’t think Kevin could either,” she says, quiet as a mouse.
“Fuck,” I reply.
“I know you are in love with him still. After how many months? Why not give it a try again and see what happens?” She sounds helpful.
“Wouldn’t matter. We are so drawn to each other, the distance would kill any chance. Not to mention that if it did work, one of us would have to move. I did that once, and it didn’t work, and it fucked up everything entirely. It took me years to get back on my feet when I got back home. I would never ask Kevin to do that for me: to leave his home, his friends, for me. No way,” I say firmly.
“He was already going to,” she says.
I just look at her. I‘ve heard that before, “What?”
“Yeah . . . a week or two after he got back, he made the decision to move out there to be with you,” she informs me.
“Good thing he didn’t then, isn’t it.”
Holy hell, Amber said the same thing. How did it not register in my brain?
“Jesus, May, you might be the strongest woman I have met, but you sure are scared,” she says, putting her hand on my shoulder.
“Just take this gift one day at a time, and when it comes time for you to go back, see where y’all are at and go from there,” she continues.
I don’t say anything. I just wipe my face of the few stray tears on my face and throw away the towel.
Rose and I head out of the bathroom, and Rose sits down. Kevin is standing up, looking at me. I don’t stop at our table. I just keep walking until I’m up at the bar.
“Double shot of Crown, neat, and a Bud Light, please?” I ask the bartender quietly.
She slides me my drinks. I say thank you and down the entire double in one gulp. Chasing it with a beer, I take a chance and look over my shoulder at Kevin. He is sitting there with his elbows on the table and his head in his hands, slowly shaking his head. Yeah, this shit is really happening.
I look back to the bar and take a couple of breaths.
Do. Not. Cry again, May.
After a couple more deep breaths, I pick up my beer and walk back over to the table. Everyone looks at me as I sit down. I couldn’t help but notice that Sue is now no longer around, and I ease up a little.
“Well that was fun,” I say, trying to kill some of the awkwardness that now surrounds the fun night out.
A couple of the guys let out a little chuckle to humor me, but it doesn’t work.
“May, I didn’t go home with either one of them. I swear to God I didn’t,” Kevin says, barely getting it all out.
“Don’t want to talk about it, Kevin. What happened, happened. End of story. Now whose ass can I kick in pool?” I say, standing up.
One of the guys stands up, and Kevin just looks at him like he’s an idiot.
He sits back down as Kevin gets up from his chair.
“There’s no way in hell, love,” he says a little louder than he has to.
I look at Rose who has now got a full-out smile on her face to match mine.
“Let me show you how it’s done,” I say and walk towards the pool tables.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
It’s best out of three, and we are tied with one game each under our belts. After Kevin racks them up, he puts th
e triangle down and moves over to where I am, getting ready to shoot. He leans his fine ass onto the side of the table.
“Resorting to distraction? I would have never thought,” I say as I stand back up.
“I thought we could put a bet on this game since it’s the tie breaker.”
“And what did you have in mind?” As I pick up my beer, I am very curious.
“If I win . . . we get married,” he says like it is no big deal.
I choke, literally choke on the sip of beer and try to swallow what I can. As some dribbles down my chin, I wipe it off with my hand and look at him stunned.
“Are you serious?”
He’s not serious.
“As a heart attack.”
He’s serious.
Hoooooly shiiiiiiit.
“And when I win?” I ask, still coughing a little.
“You make your bet,” he says, taking a drink out of his own beer.
“Hmm . . . alright. Well, when I win, then you have to come back to the beach for a week and get your first tattoo from my artist,” I say with narrowed eyes.
“Done . . . Shake on it or kiss?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.
“Kiss me, you ass,” I reply, laughing.
And after I am good and kissed, he walks over to the side of the table and lets me break the balls up.
When the last ball drops in the pocket, I look up at Kevin. His head is hanging down, and he isn’t looking at me. Well, this could go either way. I walk over to him and lean against the table in front of him.
“Where, oh where should we put a tattoo on that perfect body of yours, hmm?” I say, still testing.
He looks up, and I straighten up and drop my smile. He isn’t crying, but his eyes are glazed over, and he is staring at the wall, not at me. With a big sniff, he walks over, puts his pool stick back in the stand, and walks back over to our table to rejoin his friends.
I don’t know what just happened. Yeah, I do. He thought if he threw that proposal out there again, I would lose on purpose.
Fuck.
I did not think about that when we made that bet. It is time for damage control.
I put my pool stick in the rack, grab my beer, and start to walk over to the table as well when I happen to look at the door, and who is walking through it. I stop in my tracks.
Amber and Paul.
Seriously, I can’t wait to leave, so I don’t have to see this shit.
Paul stops when he sees me, and Amber can’t figure out why he isn’t moving until she sees me as well. I have never felt more alone than I do at this very moment. I don’t rush over to Kevin. I just stand there, unable to move a muscle.
He must have seen, or someone at his table maybe told him because I feel Kevin come up behind me and stand, not putting a hand on me. I have tried to control my breaths, but that went out of the window when Amber reached up on her tip toes and planted a kiss on Paul’s cheek. I am now fuming. There might be blood coming out of my ears; I’m not sure, and I don’t check. Kevin has now taken a hold of my hand and is trying to uproot me from my spot. After a couple of tugs, he succeeds, and we move slowly back to the table.
“You have GOT to be kidding me?” I say, looking at the table and then to Kevin. ”Does she come in here a lot?” I ask. He better say no.
“She used to. She quit coming months ago, actually.” And when he says that, he jerks up and looks at me. “The night she called you,” he says, whispering. “That was the last time I saw her in here.”
“Everything alright y’all?” Rose has taken in what is going on and looks a little worried.
“Well you tell me, Rose. Amber just walked in with my business partner who up until three days ago, has been in love with me for the past fifteen years. PLUS she decided to call me and tell me that Kevin was cheating on me and that our relationship was over. I think that sums it up nicely. Don’t you, Kev?” I ask sarcastically.
Kevin, wisely, doesn’t say a word.
“Oh, and here they come . . . AWESOME!” I say loudly, slapping my hand on the table.
“Hey y’all. I’m just showing Paul some of the local hole in the walls, and this is our last stop.” Amber has some fucking balls. I’ll give her that.
“May, can I talk to you?” Paul asks, stepping towards me. I put my hand on Kevin’s knee. Please give me strength.
“You don’t have to talk to him,” he says, looking up at Paul.
“I kind of want to get it out of the way. And I don’t want to do it at your house,” I say quietly, just to Kevin.
“You have ten minutes, Paul, and then we are done,” I say to him, standing up.
We make our way over to a table away from everyone else on the other side of the building. As we take our seats across from each other, I look over at Kevin and his table of friends. Amber has gotten comfy at the table; however, everyone else has seemed to have gotten up to go about doing different things: bathroom, dance, bar, and games. Good. I smile at that. Kevin is standing at the bar, but he is looking right at our little meeting.
“Well now that you have put a cloud over the evening, please start talking, Paul,” I say, not looking him. I can’t look at him, and I don’t want to look at him.
“May, a lot of shit has gone down, and we need to sort this out now. I hate not talking to you or seeing you at work. I mean, if we can’t be friends again, what the hell do we do? I can’t buy you out, and you can’t buy me out, so why do we just not talk and run a business together? And the whole thing with Amber, well, she’s becoming a friend. My friend, not yours obviously. She’s actually a pretty nice person–”
I snap my eyes up to meet his as he says that.
“When she isn’t ending people’s relationships and stuff . . . like . . . that,” he finishes, trailing off until he’s done talking.
“Paul, we weren’t together. When I was questioning it, and I wasn’t thinking fast enough for you, you dropped me just like every other girl you have ever fucked. Do you have any idea how badly that just crushed me, to make me feel like I was just some girl to you?” I’m talking a little loudly, but I don’t care.
“You couldn’t give me some time to map all this out with me and you, instead you had to think about how to get your dick wet. Then when I wanted to talk to you about all of this, you shut the door in my face. When I decided enough was enough and wanted to move on, then and ONLY then did you decide to try to talk to me.
“Amber told me–”
“I DON’T FUCKING CARE! Do you understand me? I don’t care if you and Amber go off and get married and have a bunch of kids. I don’t fucking care about you and Amber’s relationship. I didn’t come over here to talk about her. I wanted to come over here, so you can explain how you felt it was okay to just crush fifteen years of friendship, so you could get some pussy!” I’m a little wound up, but that’s okay. I have every right to be.
“I wanted to hurt you. When you couldn’t tell me that we were actually together, I wanted to hurt you so fucking bad I couldn’t think of anything else. I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me. I remember you saying how Amber got under your skin, and when I threw you the keys, she gave me a ride to another bar and stayed. Needless to say, we got drunk and shit happened.”
“You say her name one more fucking time, I swear to God, I will walk away, and I won’t talk to you again,” I say quietly. “Try me.”
“Will you stop! Stop saying you are going to walk away from me dammit. You said it yourself ‘fifteen years’! You honestly want to walk away from all that because we can’t talk this out?”
Well he has me there. Fifteen years is a long damn time. He’s the only one that has been around that long.
“Paul,” I say softer, pausing to try to gather my thoughts. “I think maybe we need to take all this as a lesson, a serious lesson for our friendship. You keep your penis away from me and your love life unless you absolutely have to talk about it, and we can still be friends. But you don’t bring Amber around me, at all. Period. So
und good?”
Paul just looks at me, trying to understand what just happened. It makes me laugh. I’m not sure why I’m settling this so fast myself. I think maybe I just want to get past this and move on.
“Paul. You are my best friend . . . and my partner. You saved my life. I can never, no matter what I do, pay you back, man. I’m not going to turn my back on you over a fucking girl,” I say with my head tilted and my face genuine.
Paul still says nothing. How do I explain this to him in a way he can understand?
I’ve got it!
I put my elbow on the table and ball up my hand into a fist.
There it is. He hangs his head for a second, then lifts it to looks at me and returns my fist pound.
“I love you, May. You know that.”
“I love you too, man.”
As we stand up, we embrace in a brief hug and pull away from each other.
“Now get her the fuck out of here.”
“What’s going on with you and Kevin?” he asks as we make our way back over to my original table.
“I have no idea, I’m still planning on going back Sunday, and we have already had it out a couple of times. Oh, and he proposed . . . twice,” I say.
Paul’s jaw has dropped. He has stopped talking, walking, and has grabbed my arm, so I stop and make my way back in his direction.
“Umm . . . what?” he asks.
“Yeah, you heard me, twice. He loves me, but I can’t move for a guy. You remember what happened last time. I can’t do that again.”
“May, that was a totally different situation. You hardly knew him. That was fucking summer love type shit. You actually know Kev, get along great, shit, he wants to fucking MARRY you? Why are you questioning it?” he asks like I have just grown another arm out of my body.
“I’m having a hard enough time with this as is. Please don’t make it harder on me, man,” I reply, rolling my eyes.
“He told me you were here. I texted him asking if you were alright and that I missed you, and he said y’all were here. He knew you couldn’t move on until me and you talked. He loves you, May. He wants the best for you. Don’t question it, please?” he confesses.
Need You, Need Me (The Need Series Book 1) Page 18
