“I loved you once, Lauren, but I won’t ever love you again. Oh, I’m sure I’ll be fond of you, and we’ll have a good marriage for the sake of Christopher’s son. I’ll love my nephew as my own and raise him properly. But love you? Never. You killed those feelings in me. They died.”
He knew his words hurt her—he could see the pain in her beautiful eyes. Why hadn’t he been able to stop himself? He was a cad for hurting her.
“I am sorry that is the bitter truth, agapi mou. And I’m sorry I told you here. It is highly inappropriate to say those things to you, especially here. It makes me a heel. I was inappropriate. You’ve had surgery and even if he is too young to understand us, my nephew doesn’t need to be at surrounded by our ugly reality.”
Lauren shook her head. His apology had fallen flat. “You have no idea what is truth, Alex. You wouldn’t know it if it hit you on the head. And for that, I am sorry.”
He gazed at her, suspicion obvious. “Are you denying you had an affair with my brother, that you didn’t live with him all these months? Are you asking me to trust you?”
Gone were the tears and her eyes shot daggers at him. Lauren lifted her chin. “What I am saying is that when it comes to business, reality or truth, you have no room to talk or lecture to me.”
“Again, you equate me with your father.” It was an argument she’d always used in the past. She didn’t want someone like her father, who’d put his mission first at the expense of his and her mother’s lives.
“You will be a father to this child as you’ve pointed out already. I have a right to be concerned as to the quality of that fatherhood.”
“I will give this child my name.”
“Parenting is more than a surname. It’s being there. This isn’t about you and me. This is about letting a child know they are loved. Cared for.”
He suddenly understood the impact her parents’ deaths had on her. “With my name come my word and my vow. He will never suffer or want. He will be safe and cherished. He will be loved.”
“As you say, Alex,” Lauren sighed. “You have little clue how hard it was for me when I was with you. You were constantly gone. You didn’t call. Tell me, can a leopard change his spots?”
Alex raked a frustrated hand though his hair. He either wanted to yell or kiss her into submission. Neither was appropriate.
“I am done with this pointless conversation. I refuse to go round and round in endless circles. You both are doing better. As I have not yet eaten, I am going to the cafeteria. Do you want anything?”
“No,” Lauren said.
“Infernal woman,” Alex said as he strode from the NICU. There was no pleasing Lauren. Business was what a man did. He’d always let Lauren know his schedule in advance. Susan had made sure.
Alex paused as he punched the elevator button. Susan had resigned shortly after Lauren’s departure, and Lauren had always hated Susan. A niggling thought tickled Alex’s brain, and for the first time he wondered if Lauren’s accusations had merit.
He’d never considered that before. But Susan had been Spiro’s secretary first. Spiro was the one behind the push to go public with stock. He’d become very rich. Alex’s stomach rumbled and he dismissed the matter as pure, ridiculous speculation.
#
A week later the Pappas limousine wound its way through city traffic to the Plaza Hotel. Even though Lauren had been discharged from the hospital after the standard 72 hours, her son had remained in the NICU because he’d developed jaundice and had needed phototherapy light treatment.
So that she could be just down the hall from her child, Lauren had wanted to stay in the parents’ waiting room, sleeping overnight in a recliner like so many of the other parents.
It had taken all of the NICU nurses and Lauren’s own doctor to persuade her that she shouldn’t risk her own health and that she should return with Alex each night the apartment.
There she’d discovered that he’d also hired her a nurse, and despite her initial protests, Lauren had quickly learned he was right in doing so. Forbidden to lift more than ten pounds or do anything requiring any exertion, she had needed the nurse’s help to sit up. Even walking tired her out.
“It’ll take your stomach muscles some time to recover,” the nurse had soothed as Lauren, after another attempt to bring herself to a sitting position on her own, had broken into fresh tears.
But after a week she was stronger, as was her baby. Much to her delight she’d spent last night in a “going home” hospital room so that she could get used to being alone with the baby before he let the hospital.
Finally had that moment was arrived.
The limousine drew up to the hotel and the doorman opened her door. The nurse waited, wheelchair ready. Alex was already out the other side of the car and he came around to assist her.
The daily ritual of leaning on his strong arm as he helped her from the car still hadn’t purged the desire that ran through her despite the sweltering late summer heat.
She sat in the wheelchair and watched as he reached inside and, with one click, lifted their baby from the car seat. Lauren drew her son to her chest as the nurse began to push her towards the hotel entrance.
“There are items in the trunk,” Lauren heard Alex’s chauffer tell the doorman.
“Are you comfortable?” Alex asked as the cool lobby air enveloped them.
“Fine,” Lauren said, her word not quite a falsehood. She and Alex had forged somewhat of a truce since their last cryptic words in the NICU. It seemed that he’d done everything he could to please her. He’d not been disturbed by work again, and each day he’d sat by her side in the NICU and made conversation about this and that.
There, in their own little niche of the noisy NICU, they were isolated from the outside world. It was if they were a real family. She knew the illusion couldn’t last.
“I had wanted a quiet evening at home,” Alex told Lauren as the hotel elevator rose upward, “but my mother’s patience is exhausted and she will not wait any longer to see her grandson. She is waiting for us upstairs in the suite. I did manage to send everyone else away. They will wait until the christening.”
“Okay,” Lauren said gratefully. Maria Pappas she could probably handle. Everyone else, especially Theo and the other uncles and cousins, probably not. Eventually she would have to face them, but not tonight, her baby’s first away from the hospital. “Thank you,” she said.
Alex shifted and glanced at her. “For what?”
“For sending them away.”
“I told you I would try and please you,” Alex said. If there was more he wanted to add, he didn’t because of the nurse’s presence.
Alex inserted his key into the lock and turned the handle. Always in the latest fashion, this time a simple a-line dress, Maria Pappas rose the moment the door opened and waited as the party came towards her. At five foot two, Alex and Christopher’s mother was a petite woman, her hair long ago having turned a fascinating shade of gray that seemed more silver than white.
“Mother,” Alex said. He kissed his mother on the cheek. The nurse pushed Lauren closer and at Alex’s curt nod, disappeared to her own private quarters. “Mother, come meet your grandson, Nikolai Christos Pappas. We have decided to call him Nick.”
“A very good name,” she said. Her dark indigo eyes studied the baby’s face. “He will be a big strong boy. Just like his father.”
An almost imperceptible line tightened near Alex’s mouth. “Christopher would have been proud.”
“Of course he would,” Maria said simply. She sat down next to Lauren, who’d already moved to the sofa. “If you’d be so kind as to let me, I would love to hold my grandson.”
“Of course.” Lauren lifted her arms, and Maria’s hands reached forward. Alex leaned down and put his hands protectively under the exchange. Maria settled herself on the sofa and moved the swaddling cloth away from the child’s face.
“He looks just like his father did when he was born,” she announced, her gaze
locking onto Lauren’s for a moment. “An exact mirror image.”
Maria stroked a finger down the baby’s cheek. “I see you too, Lauren, in his mouth, but there is no doubt in my mind that he is his father’s son.”
Alex’s cell phone shrilled and he reached in his pocket and retrieved it. He scowled when he saw the number. “I must take this call,” he said.
Lauren sighed. The reprieve from Pappas Foods had lasted less than five minutes after returning home. Nick was out of the hospital, crisis averted, so back to business as usual.
“Go,” his mother told Alex. “Lauren and I will be fine on our own. We women know exactly how to handle babies.”
His mother made more cooing noises, waiting until Alex left the room before saying, “He is the spitting image of his father. Too bad his father is too blind to see it.”
“Christopher…” Lauren began.
“Christopher isn’t his father,” Maria corrected sharply, her lips thinning. “And pride blinds Alex from seeing the obvious truth I know the truth, Lauren. Not only can I see it in little Nick here, but also as you will discover someday, a mother knows her sons. I know Christopher would never have betrayed his beloved older brother by touching you.”
Lauren clenched her hands together and placed them in her lap. Maria had blindsided her.
Maria shifted the baby. Nick was asleep.
“I miss Christopher,” she told Lauren. “It’s important you realized that my darling Christopher was always very timious. I can see from the crease between your eyebrows that you don’t know what that particular Greek word means. Timious means very honorable, very steadfast. A timious man, like Christopher, would have rather died than dishonor his family.”
“He loved his family. He never wanted this. Nothing ever happened.”
Maria nodded. “No, of course not. He never would have allowed you to crawl from his brother’s bed to his. This child, this darling baby boy that rests like an angel in my arms, is Alex’s son.”
“Christopher and I never slept together,” Lauren admitted. The millstone she’d carried around her neck seemed to lift a little. “Not even after I joined him in Mexico.”
“Even I guessed that much. Seeing this child finally confirms it. Why did you leave, Lauren? Why did you destroy Alex’s life? Why did you not let Christopher explain the truth? Surely if you can’t tell him, at least tell me.”
“I couldn’t handle his involvement with the family foods business,” she said simply, for telling Maria Pappas the truth about Theo would serve no purpose except to upset her. “I am also not Greek.”
“Alex is not as old fashioned as that. He grew up in America. He loved you,” Maria said. “I’d never seen my son so smitten with anyone as he was you.”
“That doesn’t matter. Christopher told me about how your husband bought off the woman he was dating because of her nationality. I wasn’t Greek. I could be Alex’s mistress, but nothing more. The family expected him to marry a Greek woman.” Theo told me they even had one picked out.
Maria gave a dismissive wave with her free hand. “That is oversimplifying a situation that was much different from your. Shakira Varcaro was a gold digger and ten years older than Christopher. He was eighteen and he had college and whole life ahead of him. The family would have tolerated Shakira for our son’s sake. Costa would not have interfered. But she was only after Christopher’s money. She was easy to buy off and send packing. If she’d really loved him she would have fought to stay. Instead she took the first offer.”
Maria traced a circle on the baby’s cheek. Nick hardly stirred. “You cannot compare her to your own situation with Alex. Costa did not interfere in your relationship, did he?”
“I don’t know.” Had Theo acted on his own in discouraging Lauren?
“Let me assure you Costa did not interfere,” Maria asserted. “Alex has never been the impressionable, easily seduced type. Costa knew Alex was old enough to know his own heart and mind when he declared to his family that he loved you and planned to marry you.”
Alex had done that? Maria’s forceful declaration cut into Lauren’s heart like a whetted knife and she fought to remain strong. Perhaps Alex had loved her. He’d said so. But she had never been a priority. Not compared to his business. And Theo’s threats had been real, even Christopher had agreed that his cousin was slightly unstable. Theo had always been second.
Lauren sighed and watched her child sleep in his grandmother’s arms. The entire situation was such a mess. Alex had declared to her that he’d never love her again. It was too late for the truth to set anyone free or for second chances.
As if sensing Lauren’s turmoil, Maria spoke. “Alex was in a rough spot nine months ago. My darling Costa’s Alzheimer’s disease required his hospitalization and the burden of the family business fell fully on Alex’s shoulders. His determination and grit were the only things that saved our company.”
“I was a distraction. All he did was call and cancel. I never saw him.”
“You were his sanity,” Maria said. “And soon you will be his wife.”
Maria turned her head and those all-knowing indigo eyes stared, brows lifted. “Are you going to win him back, Lauren? Do you plan to try? Are you going to make this marriage you’ll enter for convenience work or will you transcend that and become a real family for your son? He deserves that, you know. All of you should be happy.”
Her words hit Lauren like a thunderbolt and Lauren found herself stammering. She hadn’t thought that far ahead. “I…”
“Dead men can’t speak, Lauren. Even if a paternity test proves this baby is Alex’s, my eldest son will never believe you didn’t betray him with his brother. You will just have to make him realize, make him understand that it doesn’t matter one way or another, that the two of you belong together and that you can love each other again despite whatever sins he feels you have.”
“It’s not that simple,” Lauren said, trying to hold herself together. She would not cry again for what she’d lost. “He has told me in no uncertain terms that he’ll never love me ever again.”
“Alex would say that. He’s a very proud man and he’s been hurt deeply. You shredded his pride. It’s an uphill battle, perhaps even impossible. But be like Sisyphus and push your stone up the hill again and again until finally, perhaps the gods will you let you reach the top and have a happy ending.”
A movement made Maria pause and within seconds Alex came back into the living area of the suite. “That was Claudia,” he said. “I’ve taken the entire next week off work. She’ll coming by here each day to bring me only what work is truly important. Theo and the others will handle the rest. Theo’s always wanted a bigger role in the company, so this is his chance.”
“That sounds extremely wise. Even with a nurse, Lauren and the baby will need your help. Besides, these are crucial bonding times for Nick.”
“I plan to be here for that,” Alex said. His gaze found Lauren’s and she flushed slightly. “I know my priorities.”
A gentle dig, and perhaps one she deserved, Lauren thought as for the next week Alex remained true to his word and worked from home. He was there for the baby’s two-week check up, and after the doctor said how well baby Nick was doing, Alex even extended his work-from-home for another week.
Lauren found herself growing stronger each day, and found she relied less on her nurse for basic daily functions.
Her stomach muscles had healed enough so that she could sit on her own and walking was not as tiring as it had been. During the past two weeks she’d also seen a calmer, gentler Alex, one more like the man she’d met so long ago, more like the man she’d first lived with and loved. To Lauren’s delight, the nurse had finally been dismissed as Lauren’s doctor had declared her able to do things on her own.
Like right now. It was time for Nick’s middle of the night feeding. She rolled over and slowly swung her legs over the bed, her feet finding the insides of her soft slippers. Her eyes adjusted to the semidarkness creat
ed by the nightlight’s gentle glow. The clock beside the bed flickered to read 2:16 a.m.
Unlike the previous nights, though, something wasn’t quite right, but Lauren, having just woken from her restless sleep, wasn’t quite sure what it was. She checked the crib next to her bed.
Nick was gone.
Mother’s homing instinct had her tying her robe about her waist and walking out into the living area.
Except for one small lamp near the fireplace, the room was dark. As she approached, she could see the movement of the rocking chair and hear the gentle thump thump of wooden runners hitting the hardwood. An empty baby bottle sat on the floor.
“You were supposed to stay asleep,” Alex said as she’d entered his peripheral vision. “Nick ate a good three ounces and went right back down.”
“I can see that,” Lauren said. Her throat constricted as she looked over Alex’s shoulder.
Was there any more beautiful or peaceful sight than this? Nick lay against Alex bare chest, safe and secure in his father’s arms. Nick’s tiny lips puckered as he slept, almost if he were cooing in his sleep. His little fist rested on his father’s palm like a quarter awash in a moneybag, a quarter trusting that it was safe inside something so big.
Alex stopped rocking. “What time is it?”
“About twenty minutes past two.”
He yawned sleepily. “As much as I don’t want to, I have to go into the office around noon. It shouldn’t take too long and then I’ll be right back. I have been proving that, haven’t I?”
“You have,” Lauren admitted as she took her son from his arms. “Don’t worry about us. Nick and I have a big walk planned.”
“You do? And I’ll miss it?” He’d been accompanying them to the park each day.
“I guess so.”
The sleeping bundle in her arms stretched and shifted. She held him close, delighting in the soft, sweet smelling bundle of life she’d created and loved. Alex had even changed Nick’s diaper.
Alex followed Lauren back to her bedroom. Lauren set Nick down in the crib, placing him securely on his back. He remained swaddled in the receiving blankets and she covered him with another. The air-conditioned suite could get cold.
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