He rounds the island, and I turn to meet him, his hands settling on my hips. “I know I moved fast. Now, I’m slowing it down.”
“Germany for a month is slowing it down?”
“We’ll share a bed in a hotel instead of making my bed, our bed. That feels like slowing down to me.”
He did move fast, I think. Too fast for him to honestly know how he’s going to feel about my family’s role in his brother’s death. “Germany with you sounds wonderful.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” I say, relieved that we have time to find a path for us that doesn’t include us on a ledge, like his brother. Because that’s what all the unknowns feel like: a ledge, with someone pushing us over.
“Perfect,” he says, and while I assume that he means the trip, the warmth in his eyes promises to mean so much more.
He kisses me and starts to turn away, but I catch his arm. “Why me?” I query, asking the question that comes to mind right then.
“Why you what, Emma?”
“You’ve never lived with a woman. You’ve never been engaged. And yet with me—” My words trail off.
“With you what, Emma?”
“You’re different.”
“Exactly. With you I’m different. Make the coffee, woman. I’ll need caffeine or booze to deal with the calls I need to make after we eat.”
He walks away to attend to his eggs, and for a moment, I just stand there, processing. His answer is perfect, and yet, it’s also completely imperfect. We are two broken people, suffering from loss and looking for answers in each other. I just hope that in that connection, there is healing, not pain. I hope there is real love, not a façade of love that is really just another form of hate.
That word, hate, reminds me of York, but I quickly shove him out of my mind. I’ll talk to Jax about that phone call. Just not right now. Not until after we share a meal and pretend the world isn’t trying to combust around us.
York Waters is just being an asshole, which is something he excels at quite well. A few minutes of delay, even an hour, before I bring up that call won’t change anything.
Nothing at all.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Emma…
I hurry to the coffee pot and find a cinnamon bean mixture that smells delightful. “I can’t wait to try this,” I say, as Jax glances over at me from the stove.
“It was my father’s favorite. It’s my thinking brew. I always drink it and think, what would he do?”
“You were close to him,” I say, and while I know this, I’d like to hear more, a confirmation, a story. Just more.
“Hunter and I were both close to him,” he says, flipping one omelet and then the other. “Brody not so much. He was always kind of a loner. I think being the youngest made him feel there was just too much to live up to.” He turns to face me. “Hell, I even felt that with Hunter at times. There’s a reason I ended up with boxing gloves on. Hunter was the golden boy out of the rink. I was the runner up. I needed an outlet.”
“Did Brody have an outlet?”
“Women. We had too much booze in our life to make that appealing.”
“And you?”
“Boxing and women, baby, you know that.” He winks. “Booze and one woman now.”
I laugh. “Booze, one woman, and hotels now, too,” I say, because hotels are my life, but the fun of this moment fades into reality. “If we can get past all this family stuff.”
“We will,” he promises, filling our plates. “Creamer is in the fridge. Come tell me about Germany.” He heads to the table that sits inside a bay window, overlooking the ocean on one side and a garden on the other side.
“It’s a beautiful house and view,” I say, once we’re settled in our seats.
“From the lips of a woman who travels the world and oversees gorgeous properties.”
“Hotel luxury is not like a castle and a house in Maine, but for the record, I think this house suits you far more than the castle.”
“And why is that?”
“Despite its astounding structure, the castle to you is like one of our luxury hotels to me. It isn’t about living. It’s about working.”
His eyes land heavily on me, and he says, “Living wasn’t exactly my priority the past six months. As I said, I’m different with you.”
“Jax,” I whisper, unable to find any other words.
“Eat, baby. I’m starving, and I know you have to be as well.”
“Yes.” I grab my fork. “Let’s eat.”
We both dig into our omelets, and I’ve barely had time to praise his cooking when my phone rings where I’ve left it on the island. “I haven’t even touched my work. I’m going to let it ring until we finish and then I really need my briefcase and to take care of a few things.”
“Do you want to stay here tonight or at the castle?”
“Can we stay here?”
“I’ll talk to Savage, but if he feels like it’s safe, we’ll stay here.”
“Safe? Jax, what exactly are we trying to stay safe from?”
“Everyone who isn’t us, baby,” he teases. “I want you naked without interruption.”
He’s doing exactly what I’m doing by avoiding talk of York—savoring this time together. And so I just let it go. “Tell me something I don’t know about you. Tell me more about boxing.”
“My crooked nose was broken three times.”
I crinkle my own nose at that. “Your nose is crooked?” I tilt my head and give him an inspection. “Hmmm. Maybe. But it’s pretty anyway.”
He laughs. “Is that right?”
“Yes.” I sip the coffee for the first time. “It’s good. I like it. Did Hunter come here for the coffee, too?”
His lips thin, and he takes a bite of his eggs, followed by a sip of coffee, before he finally says, “Hunter never came here. Ever.”
I set the cup in my hand down. “Why?”
“I don’t know, baby. Something happened between him and my father the last six months before he died.”
“Happened? What does that mean?”
“They were inseparable, and then suddenly, they were never together. At the last Whiskey festival, I couldn’t catch them in a room together.”
It hits me then that this is the first of these events he’ll live through without his father. That’s not going to be easy, and Brody’s anger makes more sense now. I’m right there with them, living life without my father. And without my mother too it seems. “Did you talk to them about it?”
“My father said all was well. He shut me out, which wasn’t like him. Everything was fine.”
“And Hunter?”
“The same.”
“And you and Hunter—”
“We were good until we weren’t. At some point that changed.” He shoves aside his empty plate. I realize then that mine is empty, too, though I barely remember eating. Sensing he wants to talk about something serious, that our escape has come full circle to our prison, I set my plate off to the side as well.
“What is it, Jax?”
“I need you to understand why I came to you looking for revenge.”
“I know why,” I promise him. “I do. We’ve talked about this.”
“No. No, you don’t know everything.”
There’s a squeeze of dread in my chest. “What does that mean?”
He turns his chair away from the table, angling it toward me. “Right after my father died, Hunter wasn’t taking my calls,” he begins when there’s a sudden loud knocking followed by the doorbell.
“What the hell,” Jax murmurs, grabbing his phone from the table and glancing at the cameras out front. “Savage,” he says, pushing to his feet. “That man doesn’t know how to do anything quietly.” He heads for the living room, and the pounding continues. That’s what gets me. The insistence in the knocking. My heart is racing, adrenaline shooting me to my feet in pursuit of Jax.
I round the isl
and and reach the archway to the living room as Jax opens the front door, and Savage demands, “Did Emma tell you that York Waters called her forty-five minutes ago?”
There’s a beat of silence from Jax that’s filled with my racing heart. “No,” he says, “she did not.”
I burst into the room. “I was going to tell you, Jax.” I rush forward and step in front of him, my back to Savage. “I was.” My hands come down on his arms, but he’s not touching me. He’s stiff. He’s more stone than man. God, he thinks I’m hiding something. “I didn’t talk to him,” I promise. “I’m sure Savage can tell you that. It was on my call log, but I rushed to the kitchen, and we were talking, and I just—damn it, Savage.” I glance over my shoulder at him. “Why did you have to present it like this?” I turn back to Jax. “I just—I didn’t want to live in that world again quite yet. I just wanted us. Like you did. I know you held back in there for that very reason. I know you did.”
Jax relaxes instantly, his hands coming down on my shoulder. “I know, baby. And yes, I did. I want the same.”
“Why?” Savage demands, responding to my question as if Jax hasn’t spoken. “Because that asshole York made a few more calls, too. He met with your brother, Emma. And then he called every person on the list of people your father had investigated.”
Jax curses and turns away from me, scrubbing his jaw before he faces us again. “Not one of those people is coming to the festival. That means that whatever your father started, Emma, your brother has continued, and apparently, he’s using York to his aid. Does he know what York did to you?”
The blood runs from my face. “Please don’t go there, Jax. I don’t—I just—I’ll call my brother. No. I need to just go back and deal with my brother.” I start for the door, and Savage steps in front of me.
“We don’t even know what they’re up to right now. We don’t want them to pull back before we find out.”
“It’s obvious what they’re up to,” I snap back. “They want the castle. They’re going to burn Jax until they get it.”
Jax catches me from behind and turns me to face him. “But we don’t know why, baby. We need to know their motivation. There is too much we don’t know.”
“And Savage’s team isn’t finding out fast enough.”
“We were hired a few days ago,” Savage argues. “And what the hell is in this for York, Emma?”
I don’t turn to face him. “I don’t know, Jax. I don’t understand what’s going on right now. None of this makes sense. I need to end this. I’m the one who can get to my brother.”
“Not yet, baby. We need to take a step back and figure out what this is. My brother is dead. I won’t let you end up dead, too.”
“I’m not afraid of my brother. He won’t kill me. He won’t.” I press my hand to my stomach, feeling sick. “He’s not that man.”
“He’s not alone in this now,” Jax says. “York’s involved. I will not let you leave until I know you’re safe.”
“I need—”
“Damn it, woman, if that makes this the right time to tie you up and keep you here, I damn sure will do it.”
“Are you really saying that to me right now, Jax North?”
“Damn straight, baby. So make a move. And then I’ll make mine.”
I want to shake him, but a realization comes over me. “He might have left me a message.” I dart around Jax and run to the kitchen, grabbing my phone from the island.
Footsteps sound behind me, and I turn to find Jax and Savage standing there, even as I tab through the messages. “There’s a message,” I say as I put the voicemail on speaker. “Last chance, Sugar. You have an hour to call me back or else. And we both know you both love and hate it when I say ‘or else.’”
I breathe out a shaky breath, my hand trembling with a memory I don’t want to live with Savage standing here. I won’t live it with Savage standing here, so I forcefully shove it aside. My eyes meet Jax’s, and I say the only thing that matters. “He never makes idol threats, and the hour has passed.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Emma…
Jax and Savage stare at me, waiting for me to say more, but I block them out.
The words “or else” consume me. I know what that means. I know what that means all too well. Punishment. Pain. More pain.
Needing support, needing to think, I give them my back and grab the counter, my mind creating the many ways “or else” could take shape. In all of them, I’m destroyed, but I’m not concerned about me. I’m concerned about the Knight brand. I’m concerned about Jax.
I glance down at my phone, and I know I have to stop this now before it can’t be stopped. I start to dial York’s number. Jax is with me in an instant, turning me to face him, and taking my phone. “What are you doing?”
“I need to call him. I need to stop him.”
“Stop him from doing what?” Jax asks. “What does ‘or else’ mean?”
“I need to call him now, Jax,” I say, my voice remarkably calm, considering the panic inside me.
“What does ‘or else’ mean to you, Emma?” Jax presses, and when his hand comes down on my waist, I’m right in a way no other human could make me right, not now or ever. But that’s exactly why I can’t be here right now. No. Ever. I can’t be here ever again.
“I need to call York,” I repeat. “I need to call him now.” I try to step around Jax, but he catches my arm.
“Without me, Emma?”
I can feel myself trembling, a mix of anger and panic, along with fear. I’m terrified about what comes next. I’m terrified for him and my brother. “Yes. Alone. I need to handle this alone.”
“You need to talk to me.”
“I need you to let go of me, Jax,” I say, and I’m not talking about in this moment. I’m talking about forever. I now see my mistake in coming here. I see what I’ve allowed to happen.
His eyes narrow, understanding in his face. “Just that easily?”
“There is nothing easy about any of this. I need my phone.”
He pulls me closer. “No. No to the phone until you tell me what’s going on. And no to letting you go.”
“Let go, Jax,” I snap, feverish in my desperation now. “Don’t make me feel trapped right now. Not now. Not now. I need to stop this from happening.”
“We can solve this together.”
“I have resources,” Savage says. “If this is what I think it is, I can handle it.”
If this is what he thinks this is. Lord help me, Savage knows what this is about. Or he thinks he does. Of course, he thinks he does, because he’s investigating York, but he’s wrong. “You can’t begin to know anything, Savage,” I hiss at him, my emotions starting to get the best out of me. “Whatever you think you know, you don’t.” I shove on Jax. “Let go. Let go now. I can’t feel trapped like this right now.”
“Damn it,” he murmurs, and his hands fall away.
Relief and regret fill me. I’m confused and emotional in a way that I’m never confused and emotional. I needed to be free, but I want him to touch me again, and I know I can’t ever let that happen. “I need my phone,” I say, motioning for it.
“Not until—”
I don’t have time to fight with him. I step around him, but then Savage is in my path, and he has a phone. “Get me out of here. Get me away from Jax now. If you’re supposed to protect him, this is what you need to do. Get me out of here and quickly.”
“I need you to tell me what’s happening, Emma,” he replies.
My chin lifts defiantly. “You need to get me out of here.”
“Not until you tell me what the hell is going on,” he replies.
“I’ll go myself.” I try to step around him, and he moves his big ass body right in front of me.
“For all I know, you’re in danger if you walk out of here,” Savage says. “I’m not letting you leave until I know you’re safe.”
An infuriated sound escapes my lips,
and I can feel Jax step to my side. God how I feel this man in ways I never felt with York. In ways I didn’t know I could feel another human being. I care for him. Already he’s a best friend, a lover. He’s a confidant, which only makes me fight harder in this moment. I whirl around on him and do so with challenge. “You wanted to ruin my family, and you don’t know? I’m the biggest liability the Knight hotels own. I’ll be that for you, too, if you don’t let me call York and do what I have to do to pull him back. I need to make that call.”
“You are many things to me, Emma, but a liability is not one of them. Tell me what’s broken, baby. I can’t fix what I don’t know. You need to tell me now.”
“Don’t make me do this, not now. Not in front of Savage. Give me the phone.” I reach for it, and he turns me and presses me against the island, touching me again, trapping me again. He holds up a hand. “Go, Savage.”
“I’ll be on the porch,” Savage says, footsteps following.
Jax sets my phone on the island behind me and then presses his hands on the stone on either side of me. “Now it’s just you and me, baby. Please talk to me.”
Please.
That word gets to me the way he gets to me. He’s everything a man should be: strong, even dominant, but unafraid to use that word, to share a moment or even the power.
I’m trapped in every possible way. I’m trapped in the certainty that the day I met York was the day I ensured I could never be with Jax. The panic fades into something darker, calmer, and far more brutal. “He’s going to tell the world horrible things about me that will destroy the Knight name and you if you’re with me, Jax. That’s all that matters.”
“What horrible things, Emma?” Jax asks, his fingers brushing my cheek. “You can tell me anything.”
“I don’t really have a choice now, do I?”
“You do. I don’t want you to feel that with me.” He pushes off the island, no longer trapping me, no longer pinning me. “You can leave. I can tell Savage to let you leave, but don’t. We’re good, baby. And I know we’re new, but we are full of possibilities. Please don’t let York Waters take that from us.”
One Woman (Naked Trilogy Book 2) Page 12
