A Shade of Vampire 19: A Soldier of Shadows

by Bella Forrest

  “We’re ready to leave now,” Benjamin said, eyeing everyone as though the sight we had just witnessed was nothing out of the ordinary. Apparently, he’d been expecting it. “Now we head up to the desert.”

  There were far too many of us to fit in the elevators, so I wondered how exactly we were going to get up there. Whether or not the witches had their powers intact to vanish us, or perhaps the jinni himself would…

  My question was answered as the black-haired jinni turned on Ben. “You don’t need me anymore. You know the way out.”

  With that, he vanished, leaving a thin veil of light blue mist behind him.

  Ben addressed the witches. “You can transport us above ground,” he said. “But only above ground—not beyond the boundary yet. All right?”

  I was confused why Ben would request this. If we had been given permission to leave, why didn’t we just get right out of The Oasis and return straight to The Shade before the jinn changed their minds? I didn’t understand why he wanted us to hang around in the desert upstairs. Still, Ben appeared too sure of himself for any of us to question it.

  And so each of us gathered together and formed a circle. The witches magicked us out of the atrium and we reappeared up in the desert. The heat was stifling. Compared to the chambers below, it hit me like a wave. Although I was grateful for the change. My bones had begun to ache again while down there. It was too cool for my comfort.

  I caught my mother’s and siblings’ eyes. They looked at me as though they were dying for an explanation, but mostly, I saw sheer relief in their eyes to be away from the underground and out in the open.

  “All right.” Ben spoke up. “We’ve been given permission to go outside the boundary…” He paused. I was surprised when his voice caught in his throat. For the first time, his calm demeanor wavered, giving way to a look of… sadness? His gaze passed from his father, to his mother, to his sister, uncle, and then traveling over everyone else who was present.

  His hesitation was leaving me ill at ease.

  “What is it, Ben?” I whispered, tugging on his arm.

  Finally his eyes fell on me. And something sparked in them. His gaze increased in intensity and there was a look of urgency in his green eyes as they dug into mine.

  I frowned in confusion. I parted my lips, once again about to ask him what was wrong.

  But before I could utter a single word, his lips were on mine. His kiss was hungry, passionate, more demanding than ever before. All-consuming. He claimed my mouth so entirely, I couldn’t even gasp for breath. His tongue pushed between my lips, his hands gripping my hair roughly as he held my face against his.

  By the time he pulled away, I was breathless and my lips felt swollen and bruised.

  But more than anything, I felt panic.

  I didn’t even understand why, but I wanted to stop everything that was happening. I wanted to freeze time, stop Ben when he turned to the crowd and said, “Okay. Let’s form a circle.”

  Something was wrong, very wrong with Ben. And I didn’t want anything else to happen until I figured out what. But he didn’t give me a chance to say anything. He grabbed my hand, holding it firmly, and hurried everyone into a circle.

  He shot a look at Ibrahim and nodded sharply.

  I didn’t know how I realized what was about to happen next, but all at once, I just knew.

  Ben was going to let go of my and his mother’s hand a split second before we vanished.

  I had barely seconds to process the thought after it entered my head. But when Ben’s hand loosened from mine just as we were on the cusp of vanishing back to The Shade, I didn’t even need to think what to do.

  As though it was instinct, my own hand loosened from my mother’s.

  Chapter 14: River

  I’d never seen Ben look so horrified as the moment he realized what I had just done.

  “River,” he gasped.

  Then his expression turned to anger. He grabbed my shoulders, painfully, and shook me. “What the hell did you just do?”

  His own anger ignited a fire within me. Planting my palms flat against his chest, I pushed with all the strength I could muster, forcing him backward a few steps.

  “What do you mean what the hell did I just do? What the hell did you just do?”

  An unexpected fury was boiling up within me. The thought that he was just going to leave us all like that, without so much as an explanation… Leave me.

  My throat felt tight as I grabbed hold of his shirt and twisted its fabric in my fists.

  “Why, Ben?” I croaked.

  His hands closed around mine, detaching me from his shirt and lowering my hands until he was just holding them in his.

  “You shouldn’t have let go!” he said, anger and shock still shaking his voice.

  “What did you expect me to do?”

  He looked at me like I was a fool. “Hold on! What idiocy possessed you to let go of your mother’s hand?”

  I glared up at him, wanting to shoot back a retort, but finding myself asking the same question. What idiocy did possess me? Why did I let go of my mother’s hand?

  I still didn’t know why I had reacted the way I had. It had just seemed like the most natural thing in the world. Like putting one foot in front of the other. There was no way I could explain. Except…

  “That idiocy would be you,” I replied, my voice quieter this time.

  I sensed his temper take a dip. His brows furrowed, a flicker of confusion playing across his face as he stared down at me.

  I lowered my eyes to the ground, finding his gaze suddenly too intense, too exhausting, as he studied me. I felt my cheeks grow hot, my breathing shallower.

  I still had no idea why he had hung back. But in that moment, it became clear to me that the feelings I held for Ben were far deeper than I had ever thought.

  The truth was, the pain of leaving without him far outweighed the fear of leaving my family and staying with him in this place.

  I felt almost too embarrassed to admit this to him, because I didn’t know if he felt the same strength of emotion for me. After all, he had been prepared to just leave me.

  My mouth dried out, and I felt lost as to what to say next. The silence burned my ears as I kicked at the sand beneath my feet. I was relieved when Ben broke it.

  “River, I…” He paused. I raised my eyes to his face again to see that he looked less livid, although no less tense. “I had no idea that you’d do that for me.”

  I hadn’t known I would do that myself. Abandon my family for Benjamin Novak? A boy I had only just recently met and whom I still didn’t know a lot about? If someone had asked me that question, the logical answer would’ve been that I would have chosen my family, of course. My mother, brother, two sisters… They were my life, my flesh and blood. And yet it seemed that my brain had stopped responding to logic or reason.

  “You’ve found your family now,” Ben continued. “All of them, and even your brother has been cured of his illness. I… I thought you could go back to The Shade and get on with your life. Maybe even turn back into a human and return to New York if The Shade didn’t work out for you.”

  The way he was speaking, revealing that he had been thinking so far into the future—a future without him—sent shivers down my spine.

  “Ben, what happened to you?” I managed. “How did you convince the jinn to set us free?”

  His face darkened and now it was his turn to avert his eyes.

  He inhaled deeply, and I could see that every part of him was reluctant to answer my question.

  “I made a deal with them,” he said quietly.

  My breath hitched. The hold the jinn had over us already was terrifying enough, the thought of a deal made my blood run cold. “What do you mean ‘deal’?”

  He hesitated. I clutched his arms, squeezing them hard. “What deal, Ben?”

  Finally he raised his head and looked directly at me. There was a discomforting acceptance in his expression, a resignation, and that same ca
lm I had detected earlier.

  “In exchange for them allowing everyone to go free, I agreed to be bound to them.”

  “Bound? But… aren’t we already bound to them? These tattoos they put on us…” I reached for his sleeve and pulled it up to reveal his upper arm. Except there was no tattoo. Thinking that I’d gotten the wrong side, I checked his other arm. No tattoo either. His skin was pale and smooth, as if there never had been a black cross etched into him. I gaped at him. “Where’s your tattoo?”

  “Nuriya removed it.”

  “Huh?” I was feeling more confused by the moment. “Why would she do that?”

  He held up his right hand, and for the first time I noticed a thin band of gold fit tightly around his wrist. It was in the shape of a cobra, and, to my horror, it appeared to have been clamped right into his flesh. His skin around the edges of it looked reddish and sore.

  “What is this?” I breathed.

  “Their way of showing that I have moved up in rank… River, I agreed to be bound to them permanently.”

  “What?”

  “The bond they have with you, and had with me—it wasn’t permanent. We could earn our freedom if we played our cards right—albeit after decades of self-control. But this”—he held up his wrist again—“is permanent. Because I’ve voluntarily agreed to submit to them, the bond is much stronger.”

  I could hardly believe my ears. “H-How could you do that?”

  “I didn’t have a choice. I’ve stayed in this place long enough to know that there’s no way out without permission—and even when Jeramiah let us out, we never escaped. We were under the influence of the jinn the whole time. Nobody in this place is free—not even Jeramiah and the other vampires who are allowed to wander outside. This place will always have chains on them. I couldn’t have that happen to my family and people who came here to help me. Accepting Nuriya’s proposal was my only option… And in return for agreeing to be bound, I’ve been granted an unlimited number of wishes… except my freedom.”

  My heart hammered in my chest. Permanently. The word still rang through my head. It almost felt like Ben had just committed suicide. “H-How could you stay here forever?”

  He shrugged. “I’m able to venture outside, though I will never truly have freedom. I will always be indebted. That’s what this band signifies.”

  Ben’s world had just come crashing down around him. I didn’t understand how he could talk so calmly. It gave me a glimmer of hope that perhaps he believed there might be some way out of this for him.

  “I can’t believe this is the only way,” I said, my knees feeling weak. “There must be a way to break free from them. Wh-What would happen if you just took that snake band off you?” Desperation shook my voice.

  He almost smirked. “It’s not as simple as that. This band is more of a symbol than the actual cause of my bondage. I have no idea whether it’s possible to break the bond. All I know is that Nuriya said it wasn’t.” He paused, eyeing me seriously. “In light of this, River, I think you should reconsider. I think you should leave. It’s not too late. I could request the jinn to set you free of the boundary. You could return to The Shade, to your family, and just… get on with your life, dammit.”

  I shook my head forcefully. “No, Ben. I won’t. I can’t… I-I can’t leave you.”

  Perhaps it was just my stubbornness and wishful thinking, but I simply could not bring myself to believe that there was no other way. All my life I’d been forced to be resourceful, find ways to do things that I previously thought impossible—part of this was my mother’s influence. That was one reason I resented my father so much whenever he said he couldn’t give up his addiction. Anyone could do anything. It just took determination, perseverance… and occasionally a bit of luck.

  I looked resolutely into Benjamin Novak’s piercing green eyes. The eyes of a man I was beginning to believe I couldn’t live without.

  “I’m staying with you, Ben, whether you like it or not. I swear, we’re going to find a way to get you out of this mess.”

  Chapter 15: Ben

  River didn’t know how much her words meant to me. As I’d told her, I really had no idea if there would be a way to free myself—and what the price of that freedom might be. Nuriya had indicated to the contrary, but River’s strength at a time when I’d felt hopeless, her determination in standing by my side, even though I didn’t feel I’d done anything to deserve such loyalty… it left me speechless.

  This girl left her family for me.

  The idea was still inconceivable, and I realized that I found her loyalty to me frightening—the hold I seemed to have over her. I couldn’t help but feel that it would only cause her pain in the end. Because I was a runaway train. I had no idea what wreck was waiting for me right around the next corner, and the last thing in the world I wanted to do was drag River along with me.

  But at least right now, it seemed that she was set in her determination to stay with me. All I could do was make sure that her stay was as painless as it could be and do all within my power to make sure she stayed safe.

  Sliding my hand up her arm, I raised her sleeve to see the black tattoo still etched into her skin. I wasn’t sure who and how many of us those jinn had branded, but whoever bore the tattoo was supposed to have had it removed the moment they left the boundary—along with any other bond the jinn had formed with them in the hour they’d been trapped in The Oasis.

  Since River had let go of her mother to stay behind the barrier with me, hers still remained. The first thing that I wanted to do now was remove the ugly mark—remove the burning that came with it, and the disquietingly close connection she had with the jinn. Although she wished to stay with me here, I wanted to make her as free as she could possibly be within the confines of the jinn’s rule.

  I eyed River’s beautiful, innocent face once again, and although it made me ache inside, I put my focus back on the entrance to The Oasis.

  “Okay,” I said, clearing my throat. “If you’re sure you’re staying, let’s go back down now.”

  Reaching one arm beneath her knees and planting the other firmly around her waist, I picked her up, holding her close against me. I felt more protective of her than ever before. This girl now felt more precious to me than my own life, and if anything happened to her, I would never be able to forgive myself.

  As we walked away from the edge of the boundary, across the sand back toward the trap door that led down to the atrium, I pressed my lips against her forehead and kissed her. Once. Twice. Thrice. Soft, slow, gentle kisses. As if I wanted to reassure her that I wouldn’t let her down, even though I had no such reassurance myself. Her cheek pressed against my chest, her arms wrapping around my neck. Her eyes closed tightly.

  I wasn’t sure what was going through her mind in that moment, as I led her away from freedom and back toward imprisonment, but the intense expression that took over her face as she gripped me harder made it feel like she never wanted to let go of me. She hadn’t even asked me where I was going to take her now. What we were going to do next. The way she clung to me… it was as though she was just experiencing relief to be with me. No matter what pit I was about to carry her into.

  Leaving the desert and climbing back down the staircase toward the uppermost level, I moved to the edge of the glass wall and peered around to see if any vampires or half-bloods had woken up since we’d been down there. Specifically, I was looking out for my cousin Jeramiah.

  So far I could only make out two people—a man and a woman—sitting on a bench in the rose garden. As the woman turned her head, I realized that she was Marilyn. They were both sipping from cups of steaming liquid and talking in soft tones. I guessed that this was her boyfriend of the week. A fellow half-blood, it seemed.

  I was glad that there still weren’t many people about. Although Nuriya had accepted River and me back like long-lost children, I doubted anyone else here would be pleased about our return, especially after the way we had left. Bumping into Lloyd in particu
lar would be an uncomfortable experience.

  Taking the elevator down to the ground floor, I took a deliberately wide path around where Marilyn and the man were sitting, but she must’ve sensed my footsteps, because she stood up and spotted River and me.

  Her eyes widened as she stared at me. “Hey, Joseph!” she called. I winced at how loud her voice was. “You’re back.”

  I found it odd that Nuriya and the jinn knew and addressed me by my real name, while the others here still apparently thought of me as Joseph. Perhaps the jinn didn’t see it as relevant information to reveal to them, but the thought that Jeramiah was living just meters above this knowledge was unnerving. Sooner or later I couldn’t help but feel he’d discover my true identity.

  I nodded curtly at Marilyn and without saying a word continued with River toward the veranda on the opposite side. When I approached the small room that contained the entrance to the prison below, I stopped outside of it.

  I set River down on her feet and reached for the door handle. Although it was locked, the moment I touched it, there was a click and it magically unlocked. This had been another perk of entering a permanent contract with the Nasiris—if it could really be called a perk. I was granted access to their atrium whenever I wanted, and consequently also had access to the human cells. Although I would avoid going there as much as possible. Since I had unlimited wishes, I would request that human blood be delivered to me in jugs so I wouldn’t have to go through the trauma of murdering someone. That task would be left to someone else.