Her eyes snapped up and took him in.
“Found ya, lassie,” he said as he lowered himself to sit beside her.
“Told ya I was near the hotel,” she murmured, resting her cheek on her forearm.
He inclined his head to meet her gaze. “Ya had me worried, y’know. You were gone a long time. When you said you’d be back later, I didn’t think that meant after midnight.”
“I went exploring,” she said. “Slept like the dead for an hour, but then got up wide awake. You were snoring, you were sleepin’ so hard.”
He quirked a grin at that.
“So I went and looked around the hotel, then did a stretch of the boardwalk, then got a drink at the bar inside, then ended up down here. Went and dipped my feet in the ocean…” She looked back out to the sea. “Besides, I didn’t think you’d mind.”
“That I’d mind what?”
“If I wasn’t there.”
He sighed. “I minded. A lot. And the longer you were gone, the more worried I got, ’cause I had no idea where you’d gone off to.”
“Sorry I worried you,” she said quietly, dipping her head to rest again on the shelf of her bent knees. Her dress billowed around her, the breezes lifting the fabric along with strands of her hair. She was a siren, her beauty calling to him, magnetic.
He ran a fingertip along her bare arm. Every inch of her soft skin was covered with freckles. “Your skin’s like a universe,” he murmured, his eyes following the trails his finger made. “All the freckles, like stars. You’re dusted with stars. Fascinates me. Always has.”
She just stared at him. He hadn’t willingly touched her in days, much less with tenderness. It made her heart leap with hope, but she stayed silent.
“I love you more anyone in the world, Maura,” he finally said. “That’s why it hurt so bad when you hurt me. I felt betrayed. But… I was harsh. Bloody harsh.” His eyes met hers. “We need to talk about so many things. But this wall of ice between us, it needs to come down. I hate fightin’ with you. It feels like the most unnatural thing in the world. I can’t stand it. Can you forgive me for being an utter arse, for the way I handled the past few days?”
“If you can forgive me for the same,” she whispered thickly. “We both did it.”
“Aye, that’s true.” His fingers left her arm to touch her hair, her cheek. She leaned into him a bit. “Maura… why didn’t you trust me enough to tell me what he was doing to you?” His brows drew together. “I could’ve helped somehow. You shut me out. That hurts like hell.”
“I’m sorry for that,” she said. “I really am.”
He nodded and said, “Okay. But… can you tell me why you did that?”
“ ’Tis a fair question. And I’ve been thinking about that all week,” she confessed. Her eyes fell to the sand. “But I don’t like the answers, and you won’t either.”
“I don’t care, just tell me. I can handle anything, if you just tell me.” His arm slid around her shoulders. “This week is a bump in the road, not the end of it. I’m still your safe place, love. Always have been, always will be.” Her breath hitched and he stroked her hair. “I’m sorry about the past few days. This was new for me, being so angry at you. So hurt. But… we can get through anything as long as we talk, don’t you think? We always have before.”
“You’re right,” she said. “Going from friends to lovers shouldn’t change that. Especially best friends like we are.”
“Are, are still, present tense, that’s right.” He pulled her in a little closer. “So tell me what you figured out. Why you shut me out like that.”
She drew a long, slow breath, leaning into him but keeping her eyes locked on the blue horizon. “Back when I was with Niall… he abused me, and I allowed it. He abused me verbally for months while I was pregnant. I didn’t realize it was abuse then. I made excuses for him, for how we hadn’t planned on my getting pregnant, he was stressed out, all that kind of thing. I should’ve ended it with him then, but I didn’t. I kept hoping the man I’d originally met was still in there, that he hadn’t been a mirage, you know? Because the alternative was so horrible.”
Aidan only nodded, caressing her arm tenderly as he listened, letting her speak.
“Then when he hit me that night… I felt a million things. But you know what? I never admitted it out loud until right now, but more than anything, I was mad at myself.” Despair and rage flashed briefly through her like electric currents. “Because if I’d kicked him out of my life sooner, that wouldn’t have happened. If I’d stood up to him sooner…” She sighed. A long lock of hair flew into her eyes, and she tucked it behind her ear.
“You weren’t to blame,” Aidan murmured fiercely. “You hear me?”
“I know that now. But for a long time, I blamed myself instead of him. And I think that poisoned me more than I’d realized. And I didn’t realize how damaged it all left me until you… you started treating me like a real lover should.” She bit down on her lip. “You treated me like gold. With kindness, and tenderness, and genuine affection, and respect. And you know what, Aidan?” She looked him right in the eye. “I didn’t know how to accept it, what to do with it. I didn’t totally trust it, even when those things were given to me by the man I trust more than anyone on earth.” Her eyes filled with tears. “I thought I was smarter than that. I thought I was so strong. I guess the truth is I’m not. I’m sorry.”
“The hell you’re not,” he said. He gently cupped her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze. “Don’t you realize how strong you’ve been, all these years? You’ve raised an amazing girl, without much help from anyone other than your mum. And you’ve never let a man treat you that way again since, have you?”
“No,” she said. “Because I didn’t date anyone. I was busy, I was tired, all of that… but I hid. You were right when you said that in the pub that night; that I’ve been hiding. Problem is, once I found a good man, I didn’t let him treat me well either.” Her eyes closed and tears slid down her cheeks. “You were right, Aidan. I was lying to myself. But about things I didn’t even know were there until I made myself really look. And I have been, all week long. Because I lost you over it and because it’s time.”
“I’m glad you did some hard work with your soul searching,” he whispered, “but you didn’t lose me.” He kissed her forehead, her cheek, her mouth as he held her tight. “You’ll never, ever lose me. I love you too much. I’m sorry I made you think that you had. I was just so upset.”
“You had every right to be,” she said plainly.
“Aye, some, but I overreacted,” he countered.
“When you confronted me, I said some terrible things…” She sniffed her tears back. “Throwing it in your face how you hadn’t told me your feelings, saying you’d lied to me every day…” She shook her head hard. “That was disgusting. A total deflection, Aidan, and I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it. I wish I could take that back.”
“I know, Em. I know.” He rubbed her arm, her back. “But the thing is, you know what? You weren’t wrong. I did keep things from you, too, for a long time. Then jumped on you the first time you did it to me. Not good form.” A long sigh huffed out of him. “As for Niall, and what he did to you… maybe you never dealt with it properly, and it festered. But you’ve come a long way from when you were with him. You’re not weak, or stupid, and abuse is never your fault. No one asks for that.”
“I allowed it.”
“So you didn’t kick him to the curb fast enough. It’s still not your fault, dammit. It’s on him, not you. And it’s in the past now, Em. You’ve got to forgive yourself.” A stronger gust blew and he held her close.
“You’re not wrong,” she said, finally letting herself melt against him. He felt so good… he felt like home.
“Aye, I know stuff sometimes.” He cracked.
She smiled for the first time since he’d found her on the bench.
He kissed the back of her hand, glancing at her diamond. “Well, you’re still wearing my ring,
so that’s got to be a good sign.”
“I only take it off to shower,” she said. “And when I sleep. Other than that, you’ll have to wrestle me for it if you want it back.”
His smile spread wide and bright. “Ah, lass, I’ll gladly wrestle ya. On a soft bed, preferably naked.” He laughed when she did. “But I don’t want it back. I want you to wear it forever. Along with our wedding ring. Deal?”
She smiled back. “Deal.”
“Oh good.” He kissed her, soft and slow. She kissed him back, her mouth opening beneath his, and warmth flowed through his entire body. “Listen. We’re going to be married, and soon,” he said. “So you need to trust me more. And I need to trust you more, too. And we both need to trust ourselves a bit more, you know? We’ll both work on that. Agreed?”
She nodded. “Agreed.”
“All right then.” He smiled softly. “Look, we’ll get there. All the basics are already in place, right? I mean, we’re best mates. We’re phenomenal together in bed. I’m going to adopt your wee girl and be the best da I know how. And I’ve been helplessly in love with you for years. So once we get the ‘better communication’ thing down, it’s all gonna be good.”
She lifted her face to look into his eyes. “You’re joking to lighten it, but it’s all true. Every word.”
“I do that sometimes.” He winked.
“I know. Except you left one thing out.” She turned in his embrace to better face him and hold his cheek in her soft hand. “I’m helplessly in love with you, too.”
His heart skipped a beat, then started pounding thick and heavy in his chest. “Since when?” he stammered.
“I’m not exactly sure,” she said, caressing his face as she stared adoringly at him. “All I know is, by the time my birthday rolled around, when I went to sleep that night after that absolutely perfect day you’d given me, I thought of how much I loved you, and how lucky I was to be with you, and how glad I was that something bad—needing to protect Chloe and getting married—turned into something unbelievably good. More than good, the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Because I love you so much, Aidan. So much.” She leaned in to brush her lips against his in a gentle kiss. “And that’s not just my usual ‘I love you’, that’s ‘I’m head over heels in love with you’, which is why I’ve been such a wreck since our big fight. I thought I lost you, and again, it was my fault. I drove you away.”
“It’ll take a hell of a lot more than that to drive me away,” he vowed. His eyes shone with wonder and light. “Jaysus, Em. You love me. For real, like I do you?”
“I only hope to be able to love you like you do me,” she said. “Apparently, I’m more of a mess than I realized.”
“Nah. Nothing you can’t fix without help,” he said quietly. “And you’ll get some. But your heart… it’s so big and made of gold. He put some nicks in that, but he didn’t kill it off. He couldn’t. Nothing ever will. You just shut it down tight for a while. I know your heart’s alive and well. I’ve seen it, felt it.” He kissed her soundly, gazing at her as he murmured, “Tell me again. I’ve waited ten years to hear it, and didn’t think I ever would. I’m blown away, Em.”
“I love you so much, Aidan.” She smiled, and he saw the love in her eyes. His insides went wavy with joy. He kissed her, lingering, savoring the words and the moment.
“You’ve made me happier than you can imagine,” he whispered, his throat thick with emotion.
“I am, too,” she said. “Good lord, we’re so lucky aren’t we? That we finally found each other, the way we’re meant to be. Partners in every way, but mad lovers, too. You’re everything to me now.” She kissed him softly and added, “I’ll never keep things from you again. Especially something so important. I promise.”
“Same. And I promise to let you explain things and not jump to conclusions,” he said. “I got carried away there, too. I’m not used to bein’ in a real relationship, remember? I kept saving myself for you, so I’m new at it.”
She chuckled low and snuggled closer to him. “We’ll get there, like any other couple, right? Only we’ll be a family, too. You, me, and Chloe. It’s so right.” Her eyes warmed as they gazed into his. “I just want to love you, and be loved by you.”
“Well, no worries there. Because I’ll love you forever,” he whispered gruffly, staring back. He lowered his head and took her mouth in a deep kiss, filled with all the love and promise in his heart.
Epilogue
‡
Thirteen months later
The Manhattan skyline dazzled Aidan and Maura McKinnon as they gazed on it from their hotel room. It’d been a long day, and a long flight from Dublin, but they were finally happily tucked away in their luxury suite.
He’d insisted on the trip to celebrate their first wedding anniversary. “We won’t do something this big every year,” he’d said back in April, when he’d thought of the idea. “But a first anniversary deserves special celebratin’.”
Now, as darkness descended on New York City, they lay in bed together, an intertwined tangle of arms and legs, to stare out the panoramic windows at the lights of all the skyscrapers that twinkled and shone.
“I’m hungry and tired,” Aidan said, holding his wife close, “but I feel like we should be out there, too. Ah, the dilemma.”
Maura grasped his wrist to check his watch. “It’s only eight-thirty here,” she said. “But it’s one-thirty in the morning for us. That’s why we’re ready to sleep the night away.”
“But it seems criminal!” he said ruefully.
“I know,” she said, chuckling. “Well, this is New York City. We can sleep a while, get up whenever we want, and the city will be out there, ready for us with open arms. That’s how it rolls, babe.”
“True.” He grinned. “Have to say, New York’s been pretty good to my family, eh? Two of my brothers found their wives here, and it’s always been a special place for me and my own wife. Tremendous connection for us and this city.”
“Maybe you McKinnons were New Yorkers in a past life,” Maura joked.
He laughed at that. But her phrase “a past life” rang in his head. His life had changed so much in a year. He and Maura were happily married, and their relationship grew stronger every day. They’d found a flat in a child-friendly, welcoming neighborhood in Dublin, and Chloe loved her school. She’d made friends and was thriving. The adoption had finally gone through in late spring, and they’d thrown a big party for all the McKinnons and Callahans. They’d even changed Chloe’s last name; like Maura, she was now officially a McKinnon as well.
Maura had found a new job, working as an accountant for a small flower shop in the heart of City Centre, and Aidan had gotten a promotion in June at his job. Niall had gone, slinking away into the ether and leaving them all alone. Maura had sought therapy to help her drive out the last of the demons Niall’s abuse had left behind. It had been hard at first, but she’d let Aidan in, let him be there for her, and done the hard work she needed. Now, she was strong again, vibrant, full of light. The girl he’d once known had returned, but blossomed and bloomed tenfold.
Their days were full of laughter and support, their nights full of passion and affection, and all of it infused with deep love. Life was good. Better than good—every day was a gift, and Aidan had never been so happy in his life.
“You’re the best thing in my day,” he murmured sweetly to his wife, “every day. Happy anniversary, Em. Here’s to many more years together. I love you.”
“Aww, you romantic sweetheart, you. I love you, too.” She tipped her face up for a lingering kiss. “So? Are we napping, eating, what? Call it.”
“I think dinner might be good.” He hedged. “Unless you have a better idea?”
“Well… I have a surprise for you.” Her eyes sparkled and her freckled face perked with radiance. “Ya want it now, or later?”
“Now, of course!” he cried. “C’mon, ya tease! Gimme.”
She laughed and said, “Wait here.” She rose from t
he bed, went to her carry-on bag, and rummaged through it.
“You hid your lingerie in there?” he joked. “Naughty woman, you are.”
She laughed and shook her head, rejoining him on the bed as she held out a cream-colored envelope. “Happy Anniversary, Aidan. This gift is for both of us, really.”
He sat up and dropped a quick kiss on her lips before opening it, noting how intently she watched him. A black and white photo was inside. He couldn’t make out what it was… until it hit him like a ramming bolt with what it was.
His mouth went dry and eyes wide as he gaped at her, waving the photo in his hand. “Is this… an ultrasound?”
She nodded, her eyes filling with joyful tears.
“You’re pregnant?” he stammered.
She nodded again. “Just think… it’s our child, Aidan. Ours together. I know you love Chloe like she’s your own, and you’re amazing with her. But this… is special.” The tears rolled down her cheeks. “I found out last week, I’ve been dyin’ to tell you. But I thought it’d be a perfect surprise for today.” She smiled. “Happy Anniversary, husband.”
Shock and elation washed over him. He gripped her face in his hands and kissed her, long and hard and sweet, staring at her in awe. “We’re having a baby!”
“Aye,” she whispered. “I’m due in the end of April.” She sniffled and smiled brighter. “We’ll have to find a bigger flat.”
“The hell with that, we’ll buy a house. We need more room!”
“If you want,” Maura said.
Aidan was exultant. A baby. His and Maura’s baby. What a gorgeous miracle.
She sniffed hard and wiped her damp face. “Wait ’til Chloe finds out she’ll have a brother or sister.”
“She’ll be off the charts excited,” he said, “but not nearly as much as I am.” He hauled her in and kissed her again, over and over. “Jaysus, what amazing news. I can’t wait to tell the world!”
She laughed with pure joy. “I’m so happy you’re so happy.”
“Are you kidding me?” He gazed at his wife’s beautiful face.
Marrying His Best Friend Page 18
