by Nikki Landis
Kellen was no longer in the valley of the descendants but in the human world, guarding Rhiannon as part of his newest mission for the Guardian army. Rhiannon was a descendant like us but she didn’t know it yet which meant she had no idea of her lineage, abilities, or danger she was in.
I had to admit she was beautiful with long brown hair and long legs that stretched for miles.
Kellen probably adored her.
“May I ask who you are?” Her voice trembled.
“He knows who I am very well. Tell him Renee is here to see him.” I smiled, icy and cold.
“I’ll check with Kellen and be back in a minute.” She closed the door quickly before I could respond.
He opened the door and let it crash against the wall. “What in the hell are you doing here Renee?” His furious voice was little more than a growl. For the briefest of moments I caught several emotions cross his face – pain, anger, attraction – but he masterfully hid his feelings as I sauntered closer.
I placed my hand on his arm and nearly jumped at the connection I felt as we touched. He pushed me away but not before I saw another brief flash of intensity in his deep green eyes. “I just wanted to see you and talk. It’s been too long Kellen. I miss you.”
“Why are you here? We have nothing to say to each other,” he responded coldly.
I slid my arms around his neck, cozying up to his chest. Being this close was playing havoc with my brain as his familiar scent drifted on the air. He started to remove my arms when Rhiannon went inside and slammed the door. Good, at least she was upset. Plan successful. “Kellen, please. Just give me a chance to make it up to you. I’m sure –”
He cut me off. “There’s nothing to discuss. I don’t need to clear the air about anything. I have nothing to apologize for.”
For the first time I let sincerity creep into my voice. “You’re right Kellen, I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Please let me show you I’m sincere.” My voice pleaded for something I could never have.
“I’m not doing this Renee. I want you to leave. I’m involved with someone else. I’m very happy with Rhia –”
I interrupted this time. “You don’t know her that well. We have a long history together Kellen. Don’t throw it away. Come with me, just for a little bit. Let’s talk. We need to work things out.”
“There’s nothing to work out Renee. You’re not in my life anymore, by your choice. Please leave and do not come back here ever again. I mean it.” His voice was harsh and cold.
For a split moment my life crashed around me. Oh how I wished I could tell him the truth about everything.
“Kellen! Please don’t do this!”
“Get off of me. I love Rhiannon. I love her. Go Renee. Find someone else to deceive. I told you that I was done and I meant it.”
I felt like I had been punched in the gut. This was all my fault but I still hated to watch him with someone else, to know he loved another. The pain was like nothing I had ever known. How did you tell your heart to move on when you still loved the person you hurt?
I waited about two minutes before I stepped into the familiar comfort of the fade. Sam was waiting, his arms folded across his chest.
“This is foolish. You will only be hurt by what you see and hear if you stay.”
I knew he was right but I had to know for sure if Kellen really loved Rhiannon or not.
I listened to their conversation as Sam grabbed my hand and held it.
Kellen was banging on her balcony doors. “Rhiannon, please open up and let me talk to you.”
She let him in as he tried to kiss her.
“Kellen, that isn’t going to work. I want to talk about this, right now. I’m not leaving until we do.”
He was frowning. “So, you aren’t going to leave with me because Renee showed up to your house?”
“That wasn’t what I said but fine.”
“Dammit Rhiannon, I don’t care about her at all. But you will not stay in this house without me. I am your Guardian. You need to listen to me.” His voice was tense and strained.
I cringed at his tone. He was serious.
“I swear I don’t know why she came here. I didn’t know she was coming and I didn’t invite her. I promise you, I never told her where I was. She must have found out some other way. Please believe me.” He was upset. I knew then that Rhiannon meant a lot more to him than I ever did.
My free hand rose to my chest, right over my heart, where a sharp pain throbbed.
“Yes, I believe you,” she sighed, “but why did she come here unless she has feelings for you and believes she has a chance? Have you seen or spoken to her? What happened? Just how close were you?”
“No, Rhiannon, we have not spoken or had any communication in a long time, since before I met you. She is delusional. She just wants what she can’t have. I will not be used by her again.”
I cringed. My act was a little too believable.
He truly hated me now.
“Come on Renee,” Sam ordered softly, “let me lead you far from here where those words can’t find their way to you.”
“But they’re true. To an extent. So I must face them.”
“Bullshit. That’s an excuse to wallow in pity. I won’t allow it.”
I missed some of Kellen and Rhiannon’s conversation but listened again.
How I wished I would have walked away. The next words from his lips crushed my heart and soul.
“Rhiannon, I am so sorry. I love you, more deeply than I can possibly describe. I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you about this sooner.” He blushed. “I was waiting for the right woman, the woman I would marry. For a time, I thought it was Renee.” He laughed, bitterly, and I saw the frustration on his face.
“I was happy in my life as a soldier and a Guardian. I wasn’t in a hurry to settle down. I enjoyed my youth. I enjoyed my freedom.” His lips thinned into a straight line. “I want you to know. I follow the rules of chivalry and respect women. It is part of the code of honor that I live by, have always lived by, and always will. I am held to a higher stand of ethical conduct. You know this. I cannot break my promise or my oath.” He took a deep shaky breath. “She barely touched my heart at all but you completely own it.” His voice broke. “She’s nothing. Do you understand? Nothing to me at all.”
My knees buckled as Sam whisked us away. Moments later I stood on solid ground on the coast. The ocean roared beneath our feet, plunging below the craggy cliff that faced her eastern tip. Waves splashed up high, sending foam and spray into the chilly night air. A steady wind blew the salty fresh scent of sea water across my face.
“Who is she Sam?”
“The Chosen One, born to defeat the enemies of darkness. She’s royalty.”
“No wonder he loves her. Is in love with her.”
My whole world was crashing apart like those waves and I was powerless to stop it.
“I deserve this.”
Sam spun me around, his hands on my cheeks. “No one deserves a broken heart. It’s life and it sucks. But you, I wish you could see Kellen is the one who lost.”
My head fell forward onto Sam’s chest. “I can admit defeat. It’s nothing new to me Sam.”
I was nothing more than a pawn now, used and manipulated, ordered and dictated to until little of my own will remained. Those who held the most power always won. Maybe I should have felt worse about that than I did but my broken heart was selfish and snagged all the glory.
Nothing was as bad as losing Kellen and watching him fall in love with someone else. Rhiannon was a princess, loved and admired. Her beauty was timeless. Her innocence and charm attracting others like a magnet.
How could I compete?
Chapter 8
“What’s the matter with you?” Dom thundered, a few weeks later.
“Nothing.” I walked away from him and stood close to the window, watching the gloomy gray skies as they continuously dumped rain across the expanse.
“You’ve been saying that for weeks. I don’t b
elieve you.”
“Why do you care?” I asked, not bothering to turn around. “I’m nothing more than a pawn in your cruel and twisted games. Death at least spoke the truth to me before he sent me off to do his bidding.”
I felt Dom’s hands rest on my shoulders. “Renee. Stop this.”
“I can’t.”
He spun me around, his eyes dropping to my lips. I knew this was coming. He had hinted and flirted for weeks now. “Are you lonely?”
What did it matter now? The choices I made affected no one but me. Why not be the whore when everyone already thought I was? The only person who truly mattered, whose opinion counted the most, was in love with another woman. Maybe I deserved a small sliver of happiness after all I had endured.
Dom didn’t have to kiss me. I leaned in first.
He carried me into his room and shut the door with his boot, laying me on the covers as he shed his clothing. At least he was handsome. There were no promises, no tender words of love, but we satisfied one another the only way we knew how.
I wanted to feel again instead of the constant numbness in my soul. I wanted to know what it felt like to be held, for a man’s warm embrace to surround me, to be loved and cherished. Intimacy granted those feelings, but only briefly.
It wasn’t shame that caused me to slip from Dom’s bed as he lay sleeping.
It was reality.
I was empty.
The numbness was gone but in its place was a cold indifference.
Maybe once, long ago, I could have loved with all my heart. The ability was yanked away when I was only a child. My innocence stolen, my virtue lost, my hope shattered.
No one deserved chained down to a fractured soul like mine.
I’ll always love Kellen, but now it would be from afar, tucked deep inside a little lost lonely girl who never lived in the light but stayed chained and locked in the darkness.
“TROUBLE IS COMING. I sense a shift in the air.”
Sam was next to my side, leaning against one of the stone pillars in the castle’s hidden rooms. Dom was giving a speech. War was upon our doorstep. The Guardian army was breaking through his defenses, pushing back the enemy army as they approached the castle. Dom laid out a deadly plan, giving orders for the next several hours as he strategized the best way to destroy the knights and their forces.
“I need a favor.”
Dom was waving me over. “Balroc has agreed to lead a hundred demons from the Hellmouth in Killykeen forest. I want you to accompany him. Reaper, I need you to follow closely behind and track someone for me.”
“Who?” He wondered, dropping to one knee.
“A dangerous and ruthless soldier who can’t be trusted. Keep him close but don’t kill him. Watch his every move and report back to me.” Dom shoved a new set of maps in my hand. “Just in case. The fade will not serve you well in the Hellmouth. Keep careful watch. Baethan is not to be trusted.”
“Baethan?” I thought I heard the name before.
“My son, Baethan Elemar.”
My jaw opened slightly but I closed my mouth and nodded.
“He will most likely figure out your ruse quickly but if you can manage to draw him close enough the Silken Queen will send her soldiers. Lead him far from the battle. I don’t want my son anywhere near Rhiannon Monahan.”
The princess? “Why Dom?”
“He’s in love with her. I can’t have his interference in my plans.”
Huh. Was Rhiannon in love with Baethan too? Or Kellen? Worse, was it both men?
And I thought she was innocent. Ha!
A day later we left Carden Castle on horseback and entered the long treacherous path of Drakenmist Forest. Home of the Silken Queen and her host of deadly spiders, most men traveled around and not through this particularly nasty trap. Not us.
Dom was right. His son Baethan was tracking us, particularly a demon named Balroc. I couldn’t stand him. He was annoying and cruel, vicious and all too eager to kill. I wished Baethan would take him out but it appeared that was not going to happen.
We led Baethan farther into the forest until the spiders descended. As large as dire wolves, they landed on their prey from above, sinking their fangs into flesh and injecting their poison before their prey could stop them. The eight legged horrors were terrifying. I kept a safe distance away in the fade, certain I was safer than Balroc.
Maybe they would eat him.
Baethan figured out our ruse once he was attacked. I observed his skill in battle and was impressed. He was a fighter but he was also quite handsome. Tall, dark, broad shouldered, and brooding. Once I heard him whisper a name softly, pulling a photo from inside his breast pocket.
“Rhiannon.”
He kissed the picture before placing it back inside, over his heart. A sweet and endearing gesture. I had no doubt Dom’s words were true. Baethan loved Rhiannon. If he loved her this much, surely she could not love both men at the same time. Maybe Kellen and Rhiannon were no longer dating.
I could have a little hope. Right?
Baethan destroyed a large number of the spiders before he managed to slip away, deeper into the perilous forest. I knew he would head straight for the battle. Balroc fled into the Hellmouth, the coward.
“Where do we go now?” Sam shook his head at the carnage that lay at our feet. “He made short work of the arachnids.”
“Dom said to keep him from the battle. We need to be there, as soon as possible.”
Traveling within the shadows of the fade we reached the edge of the battlefield in time to catch Dom in a vicious sword fight with Seasnan and Kellen engaged in battle with a giant Minotaur. I screamed Kellen’s name, forgetting that I was cloaked. Stepping out I fled, colliding with none other than that worthless demon Balroc.
Baethan came running around the corner, yelling for Rhiannon at the same moment. I needed to act. Dom’s eyes were darting from his fight to our direction. I would have let Baethan leave if not for the threat of Dom’s cruelty.
Raising my hands I blasted Baethan with several fire bursts and sent him flying backwards, flat on his ass. He seemed startled and jumped for his feet. A moment of indecision crossed his face before he ran in Rhiannon’s direction. Running into the trees, I led the group of blood mages away from the battle. Some were wounded and others fatigued. Dom gestured for us to hurry away. Balroc joined me, his lips drawn into a cruel smile of triumph.
None were victors on the field that day but I had a feeling the war was far from over.
Chapter 9
Aedan had a girlfriend. I was shocked. For the first time he seemed to be getting his life in some kind of order. He was safe. I worried less about him now than I did in the beginning. Lasair of the Seeker Circle, of all people, seemed to have ensnared my brother’s heart. Let me tell you, I could not have been more surprised.
Dom relaxed over the most recent weeks and I was given more freedom. I walked in the fade often with Sam. He was quiet when I needed him to be and always a loyal friend. How funny to think that I was best friends with a Reaper, a vicious evil being who killed and harvested souls for eternal torment in Hell. Life has a twisted sense of humor.
I was sent to the capitol city of the valley to spy later that week. Cornell was home to the Council, the presiding governing authority of the populace, holding the Court of Truth which was the only justice system other than the Guardian knights. Scoithniamh Castle was the hustle and hub of the entire valley where the Council presided, the guilty were charged, and the annual Tournament was held.
I stepped from the fade and raised my dark cloak over my head. A large crowd filled the entire chamber, expectant of a trial. The Council resided in the northern tower, far from the throne room, which I found interesting. Perhaps the Council understood their place. Only the reigning royalty should be sitting upon that dais, and right now no one was crowned. Another interesting fact to ponder.
I nearly left until I saw the man who owned my heart ready to be convicted.
Kellen.
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He stood off to the left, his hands bound in irons. There was a large group of Red Guard soldiers around him, men who were the personal guards of the Council, and Wynne, of course. Wynne was an annoying little sycophant who followed around the Council like a little lost puppy. Wynne seemed a little too triumphant next to Kellen as her gaze darted from the Council and then to me.
I smiled, always ready to give her a hard time.
We hadn’t seen each other in years but that didn’t matter. Our mutual hatred and disgust seemed to last despite the loss of time. We couldn’t be more different. She was one of few Guardian women and sought to make her place in a man’s world. She was annoyingly loyal to the Council. More than once she betrayed the trust of others in order to secure her spot of favor with the leader, Peredur.
People didn’t forget that.
Rhiannon arrived while Wynne and I were giving each other the evil eye. I was relieved. Without her interference I may have acted rashly in order to free Kellen but it seemed that Rhiannon was capable. Who knew? She was full of surprises.
I retreated into the crowd before Wynne could catch up to me. For the first time I let out the breath I didn’t realize I had been holding. Only when the notices had been posted regarding Kellen’s trial did I bother to venture into Cornell. A part of me didn’t believe he was imprisoned for such a crime but today proved the Council was not above publicly capturing a Guardian knight. The thought was disturbing. They craved too much power.
Despite our tumultuous past, I still cared for Kellen and had to be sure he was alright. Loving him was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Giving your heart to another without reciprocation was an agony I would not wish on my worst enemy. Alright, maybe Wynne.
I held my laughter back knowing I would be discovered and turned my attention to the dais, unable to look away.
