Murder Buys a T-Shirt

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Murder Buys a T-Shirt Page 23

by Christy Fifield


  As I passed the counter, the phone rang. Without thinking, I reached for it, then stopped. It was after hours, and I didn’t have to answer the phone. Besides, most of the people I would actually want to talk to were in my living room, waiting for me.

  I glanced at the caller ID. The Montgomery number was way too familiar. Peter. No way he was intruding on my evening.

  I looked back at Karen. “I’m ready for dessert,” I said. Leading the way back up the stairs, I heard the click of the voice mail picking up. Whatever nonsense he was cooking up could wait for another day.

  After dessert, we trooped back downstairs, heading for Felipe and Ernie’s van. We were talking over each other, the way people do in a large, friendly group, as we headed out.

  We were almost to the front door when a squawk drew our attention to the blanket-covered cage in the corner.

  A brilliantly colored head poked out of the door, and beady eyes fixed us all with an angry-bird stare.

  “Hey, trying to #^$&*& sleep here!”

  Glory’s Down-Home Dinner

  for Four (or More!)

  BROILED GROUPER

  1–1 ½ pounds grouper filet

  ½ cup each mayonnaise and mustard

  1 teaspoon lemon juice

  Salt and pepper to taste

  Combine mayonnaise, mustard, lemon juice, salt, and pepper. Pat fish filets dry and coat with mayonnaise mixture. Broil 6 inches from heat for about 10 minutes, until coating is crusty. If the fish is not cooked through, finish in a 350 degree oven for 5 minutes, or until flaky.

  FIELD PEAS WITH HAM HOCKS

  The addition of okra will thicken your dish and give the pot likker (that wonderful broth that works so well for dipping cornbread) a heartier flavor and texture.

  1 ham hock

  4 cups fresh field peas, shelled

  2 ½ cups water

  4 fresh okra pods

  Salt and pepper to taste

  Wash and clean the peas, discarding any damaged peas. Brown the ham hock in a soup pot; then deglaze the pan with ¼ cup of the water to preserve all the pan juices. Add the rest of the water and the peas and bring to a boil. Skim any foam that develops and reduce heat to simmer for 15 minutes. Add the okra pods, cover, and simmer another 15 minutes, until the peas are tender. Season with salt and pepper to taste—the amount of salt will be determined by the saltiness of the ham hock.

  CREAMED CORN

  8 ears fresh corn

  1 tablespoon flour

  2 tablespoons sugar

  Salt and pepper to taste

  1 cup cream (36 percent milkfat or higher)

  ½ cup water

  2 tablespoons bacon grease

  1 tablespoon butter

  Husk and rinse the corn. In a large bowl, cut kernels from the cob with a paring knife. Scrape the cob with the dull side of the blade, or with a table knife, to release the milky juices into the bowl. Stir together the flour, sugar, and salt and pepper to taste; then stir into the corn. Add the cream and water and stir until blended.

  In a heavy skillet, liquefy the bacon grease over medium heat. When grease is hot, add the corn mixture, reduce heat, and simmer, stirring frequently, until corn is cooked and sauce is creamy—about 30 minutes.

  Place corn in serving bowl, add butter, stir, and serve.

  HUSH PUPPIES

  Hush puppy recipes are as varied as Southern cooks. They can have herbs, green onions, chopped jalapeños, chopped tomatoes, or bacon bits added. Experiment with your favorite seasonings, and find the combination that works best for your friends and family. Here’s a basic recipe to start with.

  2 cups self-rising white cornmeal

  ½ cup self-rising flour

  ½ teaspoon garlic powder

  1 tablespoon sugar

  ½ cup diced onion (optional)

  1 large egg, lightly beaten

  1 ½ cups buttermilk

  Oil for frying

  Note: If you can’t find self-rising cornmeal, you can make your own. For each cup of cornmeal, substitute 1 ½ teaspoons baking powder and 1 teaspoon salt for 2 ½ teaspoons of regular cornmeal.

  While you prepare the dough, heat the frying oil to 450 degrees. A deep fryer is recommended.

  Mix together dry ingredients and diced onion. Add egg and half the buttermilk. Continue adding buttermilk until the mixture is a soft dough, but not runny. If the texture is too loose, add a little more cornmeal to achieve the proper consistency.

  Drop the dough by tablespoons into the hot oil. Don’t crowd the fryer (or pan); do just a few at a time. Cook until dark golden brown, turning once, about 2–3 minutes. Drain well on paper towels and serve.

  BANANA PUDDING

  Like hush puppies, there are as many recipes for banana pudding as there are Southern cooks. The recipes range from the elaborate, topped with meringue and baked (recipe follows), to the simple shortcut method that uses instant pudding and frozen whipped topping. They really are two completely different dishes. The basics, though, are always the same: sliced bananas, vanilla wafers, vanilla pudding, and a topping of whipped cream or meringue.

  For everyday, use the shortcuts. It only takes a few minutes to slice bananas and whip up some instant pudding. Add a carton of whipped topping and you have a quick and easy treat. But for company, Glory is always going to make the “real thing,” and made-from-scratch is wonderful!

  4 ripe bananas, peeled and sliced

  ½ cup sugar

  cup flour

  ¼ teaspoon salt

  4 large eggs, separated

  2 cups half-and-half

  ½ teaspoon vanilla extract

  1 box vanilla wafers

  Pinch cream of tartar

  2 tablespoons sugar

  Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

  Mix ½ cup sugar, flour, and salt in a saucepan. Lightly beat the egg yolks and add to the dry ingredients, whisking to combine. Add the half-and-half, and continue whisking until the mixture is smooth. Place the pan over low heat and stir constantly until the pudding reaches 172–180 degrees. This will require the use of a good cooking thermometer and lots of patience, but it will be worth it.

  When the pudding reaches the correct temperature, remove from heat and stir in the vanilla extract.

  In an ovenproof 1 ½ quart baking dish, pour a thin layer of pudding. Cover the pudding with a layer of vanilla wafers, then a layer of bananas, and finally about a third of the remaining pudding. Repeat the layers, ending with a pudding layer.

  Set the pudding aside, and prepare the meringue topping. In a mixer bowl, combine egg whites and cream of tartar. Beat at medium speed until soft peaks form. Continue beating as you gradually add the additional 2 tablespoons of sugar, and beat until the meringue forms stiff peaks. Spread the meringue on the pudding, making sure you seal the edges, and bake for 8–10 minutes, or until the meringue is evenly golden brown.

  Cool 15 minutes before serving, and refrigerate leftovers (as if there will be any!).

  SWEET TEA

  Like the name says, this is tea that is served already sweetened. While Yankees up North and those in the West might find the concept surprising, it’s the default drink in the South.

  6 cups water

  1 cup sugar

  6 tea bags—traditionally, plain black tea

  Bring the water to a boil, add the sugar, and stir to dissolve. Steep the tea bags in the sweetened water to the desired strength, and serve in tall glasses with ice. Garnish with mint sprigs or lemon slices, if desired.

  Felipe’s Festival of Frying

  CHILLED OYSTERS ON THE HALF SHELL

  These are really simple. Find the absolute best quality oysters you can, as fresh as possible. Wash them under cold water, pat dry, and shuck with an oyster knife, preserving as much of the oyster liquor as you can. Place the shells on a bed of rock salt or crushed ice, put one oyster in each shell with the reserved liquor, and serve plain, with hot sauce, lemon juice, or crackers on the side.

  PAN-FRIED CHICKEN


  Fried chicken is another simple recipe. Just be sure to control the temperature of your frying pan and oil, and you can’t miss!

  3–4 pound fryer, cut up

  Salt and pepper

  Self-rising flour

  Oil for frying

  Cut up your chicken, or ask the butcher at your market to do it for you. Rinse and pat dry. Sprinkle with salt and pepper, and roll in flour.

  Fry in a cast-iron skillet in a single layer, skin side down, in hot oil (350 degrees) until the underside begins to brown, about 10 minutes. (Don’t mess with it while the first side is frying. It should only need to be turned once.) Carefully turn each piece and cook another 10 minutes. Serve hot!

  FRIED GRITS

  Fried grits take some advance preparation. Most traditional Southern breakfasts include grits, and a Southern cook just makes extra at breakfast to use later in the day. You can use instant grits, but no good Southerner would admit to eating them!

  2 cups grits

  9 cups water

  2 ounces butter

  2 teaspoons salt

  Shortening for frying

  Mix grits, water, butter, and salt in a large saucepan, and bring to a boil over high heat. Reduce heat, cover, and simmer for 40–45 minutes, until all the water is absorbed and the grits have a smooth, creamy texture. Cool the grits, pack tightly in a 9 x 5 loaf pan, and refrigerate for several hours (ideally, overnight).

  When you are ready to cook, release the chilled grit loaf from the pan, and slice ½ inch thick. In a skillet, heat the shortening to frying temperature (350 degrees), and fry the slices until golden brown, about 10 minutes per side.

  Fried grits can be served with butter and honey, maple syrup, or pan gravy.

  CHICKEN GRAVY

  Made from the drippings in the chicken-frying pan, good gravy includes all the bits that fell off the meat while it was cooking. Rumor has it you can thicken gravy with cornstarch, but that may just be a Yankee plot.

  Pan drippings

  2–3 tablespoons flour

  1 cup chicken stock or water

  1 cup milk

  Salt and pepper to taste

  Deglaze the frying pan with 1–2 tablespoons of water to release all the juices and bits stuck to the pan. Remove from heat and stir in the flour; then return to heat and cook, stirring constantly, over medium heat until the roux mixture is smooth and the color of peanut butter. Add chicken stock and milk about a half cup at a time, stirring after each addition. Simmer to thicken—it just takes a few minutes—and season with salt and pepper to taste.

  GREENS WITH BACON

  1 quart water

  1 pound slab bacon (or salt pork, if you prefer)

  2–3 pounds collard greens

  ¼ teaspoon red-pepper flakes

  1 ½ ounces vegetable oil

  Salt and pepper to taste

  Place water and the slab bacon (or salt pork) in a large pot with a tight-fitting lid. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer for about 30 minutes. Add the greens and pepper flakes and continue simmering for an additional 2–3 hours, stirring occasionally. Add vegetable oil, simmer for another 30 minutes, season with salt and pepper to taste, and serve.

  SAUTÉED YELLOW SQUASH

  4 small yellow summer squashes, sliced

  1 tablespoon butter or oil

  ¼ cup vegetable broth

  ½ teaspoon chopped garlic

  2–3 thinly sliced green onions, optional

  2 tablespoons fresh herbs—your choice of dill,

  basil, marjoram, or chives

  Salt and pepper to taste

  In a large skillet, sauté the sliced squash in melted butter or oil over medium heat for 2–3 minutes, stirring constantly to prevent sticking. Add vegetable broth and simmer until squash is almost tender. Add garlic and green onions, if you are using them. When squash is tender but not completely soft, add your choice of herbs, season with salt and pepper to taste, and serve immediately.

  PEACH COBBLER

  Cobblers are counterintuitive. Although they come out with the crust on top, you actually put the batter in the pan first and then add the fruit on top. But don’t worry; that fruit sinks to the bottom, leaving tasty trails of juice, sugar, and cinnamon to bake into the biscuit-like crust.

  4 cups peeled, sliced peaches

  1 cup sugar

  ½ cup water

  1 stick (4 ounces) butter

  1 ½ cups self-rising flour

  1 cup sugar

  1 ½ cups milk

  1 teaspoon ground cinnamon, optional

  Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Place the peaches in a saucepan with the first cup of sugar and the water. Mix well, bring to a boil, and simmer for 10 minutes. Remove from heat. (If you can’t find fresh peaches, you can use canned, and substitute the juice for the 1 cup of sugar and water.)

  In a 9 x 13 baking pan, melt the butter in the oven. While the butter is melting and the peaches are cooling, mix the flour with the second cup of sugar in a mixing bowl, and gradually stir in the milk. Continue stirring until the batter is smooth; then carefully pour it over the melted butter, but do not stir.

  Spoon the cooked fruit and cooking syrup in an even layer over the batter. Again, don’t stir. Sprinkle on the cinnamon, if you are using it.

  Bake for 30–45 minutes. The crust will rise to the top and turn golden when it is done.

  Serve warm or chilled, with a scoop of your favorite vanilla ice cream or a dollop of whipped cream.

  Bonus!!—

  Ernie’s Easy Mock Jambalaya

  for Four

  The trick to a quick and easy version of this Southern Louisiana classic is flexibility. A traditional jambalaya contains chicken, shrimp, and spicy sausage, along with rice and vegetables. For Ernie’s mock jambalaya, he simply used leftovers from the refrigerator.

  1 to 1 ½ pounds leftover meat and/or shellfish

  1 onion

  2 stalks celery

  1 small bell pepper (green, red, or yellow, or a combination)

  2 tablespoons peanut or olive oil

  ½ cup broth (chicken or vegetable)

  3 cups cooked white long-grain rice

  1 14.5-ounce can chopped tomatoes with juice

  2 bay leaves

  Cajun seasoning to taste

  Salt and pepper to taste

  Chop the onion, celery, and pepper (the trinity of Cajun cooking). In a heavy skillet, heat the oil, and sauté the vegetables until the onions are translucent. Add the leftover meat (chicken, sausage, turkey), and cook over medium heat 3–4 minutes to heat. Add the broth, cooked rice, tomatoes with juice, and bay leaves. Add Cajun seasoning to taste (adjust the amount of spice to please the palates of your family and/or guests).

  Simmer for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. Although all the ingredients are already cooked, you want to heat the dish through and give the flavors a chance to mingle.

  Just before serving, add any shellfish, and continue cooking over low heat only until the shellfish are hot—they will toughen quickly if overcooked.

  Remove the bay leaves, season with salt and pepper to taste, and serve.

 

 

 


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