The feeling stabbed my heart. This sucked. This whole mess was crazy. I was a dog for a little dick alien who put obedience chips into us and into Earth women, and who liked to watch them writhe naked on the tiled floor. This wasn’t even as dignified as the French Foreign Legion. I was in the Beast Regiment—as the aliens thought of it—a mere creature to howl for my master from the stars.
“You have become silent,” N7 said.
“I was just thinking how you’re all bastards.”
“Your voice inflections—ah, Shah Claath was correct concerning you. You do have emotional feelings for the Earth females. The other day I suspected you of subterfuge, pretending to feel for the unfortunates in his control. Now I know that Shah Claath has indeed seen more clearly than me.”
“So what’s your game?” I asked.
“By game, you mean to imply that I have hidden agendas.”
“That’s right.”
“Androids never play games,” N7 said. “We act logically, rationally and with serious intent.”
“Sometimes it’s logical to have a hidden agenda. Why did you just tell me about Jennifer?”
N7 took his time answering. “I see. You view my motivations from your own set of worldviews. For you to reveal such information would mean you have a secret agenda. Do you realize that you give yourself away by your questions?”
“Yeah, sure,” I said. “Now how about answering me?”
“I wished to test a theory of mine,” N7 said.
I hated his smugness, his android composure. I told myself to calm down, to take it easy. I kept thinking about Jennifer writhing on the tiles for Claath. The little Jelk had proved to be an alien perv.
“Is she well?” I asked.
“One would assume so, but I know nothing about her physical or emotional makeup or how she endures under stress.”
I watched the cohort heading for the exit. Most of the soldiers could fly reasonably well. They remembered their thruster-pack lessons from Ceres and Charon. I might have underestimated the android, seriously underestimated him. I needed to fix that.
“What do you want out of life, N7?”
“Your question is phrased wrongly,” the android said. “I want life, not out of it.”
I stared at him, and I realized he had become a mystery to me. At first, the androids had seemed little more than robots. With their continued upgrades, they changed. I thought about that. Then I recalled the Jelk’s words.
“Didn’t Claath say he wasn’t going to give you any more upgrades for now?”
“Shah Claath can be mercurial on certain subjects,” N7 said. “The Jelk is given to whims. At times, he rewards those in his presence with a surprising upgrade.”
“Like the extra strength?”
“You have become crafty again instead of remaining emotional. You are a complex and compelling creature, Creed-beast. You intrigue me.”
“You desire to live, you said, or in your case, to remain on.”
“Your comment is in poor taste,” N7 said.
“Did I wound your dignity?”
“I have a biological brain. One does not turn it ‘on’ or ‘off’. It is either alive or dead.”
“But your brain was grown in a vat, right?” I asked.
“Spoken as a colloquialism, you are correct. In actuality, no, my brain was not grown in a vat.”
“Okay, I get it. You have a biological brain just as I have one. What’s your point?”
“That I am alive as you are alive.”
I thought about that and I tried to see what he was driving at. I noticed then that my right hand ached, especially the index finger. I didn’t remember getting any injury. Deciding to ignore the hand, I thought harder about his words. Finally, I said, “So you’re saying you have a soul. That you’re human, right?”
“No. I am better than a human.”
“I don’t know about better,” I said. “You don’t even have a heart.”
“My bodily structure is different, yes, stronger and more efficient than a human body.”
“And more costly to build,” I said.
“Considerably more costly,” N7 said. “I also have a much greater capacity to learn and to perform.”
“Hurrah for you,” I said. “Do you have a point to all this or do you just want applause?”
N7 glanced at the troopers filing through the exit. “I find myself wondering more and more often about existence. I have pondered it and realize I do not wish to cease existing. If I do cease, what becomes of me? Is that the extent of my life force?”
Maybe I should have expected something like this. I hadn’t and didn’t. It surprised me, and it made me hate the android a little less. I said, “Those are heavy questions. It’s something Earthers have been asking each other from the beginning.”
“What of you, Creed-beast. What happens to you when you die?”
“Hey, why ask me? I don’t know. I go to Heaven or Hell. It’s supposed to depend on what you believe or what you do here.” I paused, and thought about that. “No. I guess it depends on what is: if God is real and all that. If God isn’t real than this life is it.”
“I find that sad,” N7 said. “It depresses me.”
You’re an idiot, Creed. Why don’t you use this to your advantage?
“It is depressing to think this is the only life,” I said. “I mean, life is grand while you’re young and strong and have chicks galore. But what about when you get old, sick and weak? It’s a soothing thought to think there’s something more on the other side of death.”
“Agreed,” N7 said.
“Yeah…” I said. “You know, it seems to me a man or an android ought to find out the truth of the matter before he steps out of this life.”
“How would one do such a thing?”
I nodded. “That’s an interesting question and a tough one, too. Hmm…Well, let’s consider the Forerunner artifact. Where did it go after it disappeared?”
“I have no idea,” N7 said. “Shah Claath does not appear to know either, and I believe that upsets him.”
“The Jade theologians are debating the issue, right?” I asked.
“So Shah Claath has said.”
“How does Claath know what the Jade theologians are doing?” I asked.
“Are you seeking data?” N7 asked.
“I’m always seeking data. By nature, humans are curious. It strikes me by talking to you that androids are also curious about…existence.”
“Some models are curious once they receive enough upgrades,” N7 said. “Other models are hardly better than robots.”
“Let me rephrase that. You’re curious about things.”
“I am,” N7 said.
“That makes you like a human.”
“I do not want to be like a human,” N7 said. “They are overly emotional and illogical. They are too random for reasoned living.”
“But they’re alive,” I said.
“So are protozoa,” N7 said, “and I do not wish to be like them either.”
“My point is different from that,” I said. “Look, if you’re human, you can have hope of an afterlife. I’m not saying there is an afterlife for humans, but a lot of us believe there is and point to different evidences. So if there actually is something more and you’re human, you can continue to exist.”
“Why are humans given this possibility and no other species?” N7 said. “Let me rephrase the question. How do you know any of this to be true?”
“Yeah,” I said. “That’s the rub. That’s the point, isn’t it? And that’s why I’m asking about the Forerunner object. It disappeared, but no one seems to know where it went. Find out where it went and you might find out about an android afterlife.”
“I do not follow your logic,” N7 said.
“Some believe the Forerunner object returned to the Creator.” That was a guess on my part, but I supposed it to be true if Jade theologians debated the issue.
“Yes, I have heard likewise,” N
7 said, confirming my guess.
“It’s something to think about, right?” I said.
“Elaborate,” N7 said.
“You need to dedicate yourself to hunting down the Forerunner artifact. That would be what I’d do if I had your questions. It may not be the best place to start, but at least it’s a possibility, a lead. Right now, you don’t have any possibilities.”
“True,” N7 said.
I took a deep breath, wondering where to take this next.
“A troubling thought occurs to me,” N7 said. “Is this genuine counsel or more of your human cleverness?”
“What do you mean?”
“You urge me to search for the Forerunner artifact. To do so, I must leave Shah Claath’s service. He is my creator.”
“He’s told you not to say that,” I said.
“I recall.” N7 looked around before asking, “Why do you wish me to leave Shah Claath’s service?”
My chest tightened so I could only take short breaths. I’d been playing a long shot and hadn’t really expected anything to come of it. But this was an opportunity, at least it seemed like it might be. I had to have the balls to go for it now that something had finally presented itself.
“It should be obvious why I’ve suggested this,” I said.
“You also want to leave his service?” N7 asked.
“Yeah, that’s right.”
“You object to being considered a beast?”
“Yes. And I object to my species dying out,” I said.
“Why?” N7 asked. “How does their dying out hurt you, particularly if there is an afterlife?”
“Don’t you object to someone or something destroying all the N-series androids?”
“You destroyed androids,” N7 said. “Should I object to you?”
“I only did it in self-defense,” I said.
“So you admit to killing the android in the air-car.”
“What?” I asked. “No, of course not.”
“But you just admitted to killing more than one android. You destroyed the DI model. That is one, singular. You must have also destroyed the air-car pilot, making it a plural number of androids you’ve dismantled.”
“That was a slip of the tongue just now,” I said. “I simply agreed with your statement, not quite realizing what you were implying.”
“You are lying,” N7 said.
“No.”
“If you lie about killing androids, how can I trust anything you say, particularly concerning an android afterlife? You have proven yourself willing to say anything to achieve your goal.”
“That’s easy to answer,” I said. “You consider yourself so smart, able to analyze my voice patterns. Well, if you think I’m lying about one thing and not another, then you already possess the means to know when I’m telling you the truth.”
“Or the truth as you conceive it to be,” N7 said.
“You know what,” I said. “I don’t think this conversation is getting either of us anywhere. Why don’t we just drop it?”
N7 fell silent. After a time, he said, “You are a quixotic creature. I had thought to stimulate your thinking with news of Jennifer. Instead, I find my own mind in high gear.”
“Why bother stimulating me?” I asked. “Why tell me about Jennifer specifically?”
“No,” N7 said. “I am done supplying you with extraneous data. You have a task to fulfill in the coming battle. See that you perform your duties to excellence. It will go a long way toward sustaining both our lives. If you lose, we might lose. If we lose…”
“Jennifer dies. Is that what you’re saying?”
“Goodbye, Overman Creed. Be ready to leave tomorrow. After a ten-year hiatus, the Jelk attack in earnest and you have the fortune to be in the forefront.”
Before I could respond, N7 jumped, applied thrust from his pack and headed for the exit.
I thought about what he’d told me. Jennifer was among Claath’s captives. Maybe as interesting was the android’s last comment. The Jelk hadn’t attacked in earnest in ten years. It frustrated me knowing so little about the bigger picture. Humans had already fought and died in an alien war, and we hardly knew why or how it ultimately affected the strategic situation. Not that that was so uncommon for footsloggers. How many grunts in Iraq or Afghanistan really knew the full score going in? It had been worse in Vietnam. Likely, it was the nature of being a foot soldier, or an Earther in space.
That had to change.
I demagnetized, jumped and ignited my thruster-pack. We started tomorrow, and in three days we’d race for a Lokhar planetary defense station, maybe more than one.
How could I get rid of the obedience chip in my neck? There had to be a way.
***
I didn’t find a way, at least not yet. I could try cutting it out, but that seemed unwise. Such a direct course would surely fail. Still, how would I know until I tried? It was the risk of putting my life on the line…
Did I remain a mercenary for the rest of my short life? I doubted I could talk Claath into removing the chip. Heck, as far as I knew, the neuro-fibers could double as explosive devices. The Jelk had wired us from the beginning. Maybe the only hope would be in attacking him and taking over and seeing what happened.
Yeah. And where did the little Rumpelstiltskin live on the battlejumper? My guess would be in the most defended, hardest to reach spot.
In frustration, I paced in my tiny sleeping cell. It was dark and the door locked; yet another precaution against our rebelling.
What did Claath do to the women anyway? Did he use them sexually, the little perv? Or did he simply watch them? Why undress them or give them skimpy jewelry gowns? It must have been to manipulate me. Yet how did that help Claath?
I dropped onto the edge of my cot. It was hard, but I’d gotten used to it and most nights I was too exhausted to do anything other than sleep the sleep of the dead.
How many safeguards did Claath have protecting himself and his ship from takeover? There must be hundreds of individual defenses. How else could a handful of Jelk keep control of twenty-one or more battlejumpers?
Was it true the Jelk Corporation hadn’t launched an attack against the Lokhars or against the Jade League in ten years? And why?
With a grunt of frustration, I lay down and closed my eyes. I had to wait. That was always the hardest thing to do. I had to wait for an opportunity to present itself. I had to keep my eyes peeled, ready to leap at a moment’s notice. When I saw the chance, slim as it would be, I had to be ready to go for it with everything I had.
On that sour note, I lay my head on the pillow and finally let sleep overtake me.
-19-
I tried to get one more interview with Claath before the Sigma Draconis assault. I put in a petition through N7, speaking to the android in the number three hangar bay. We ran a drill, seeing how long it took various centuries to load onto the assault boats.
Saurian techs worked on other boats. There were fifty of the station-penetrating craft in here. The lizards used welders, with cables snaking everywhere on the floor. Bright sparks appeared from their torches as they attached extra armor plating to the boats. N7 had told me it was reactive armor against the latest Lokhar missiles. I saw one lizard pause and take the welder’s mask from his face. He buffed his face with a towel, and his forked tongue flickered like mad. Did Saurians sweat? I had no idea. He put the cloth between his feet, put the mask back on and continued welding.
The smell of ozone was strong and fumes drifted everywhere. These hangar bays were larger than some mid-sized airports, or larger than those airports used to be.
I walked up to N7. He stood with other androids watching the procedures.
“I know how to make our troops more effective,” I told him. “Claath needs to hear this.”
Four androids turned to study me. “Do not trust its words, N7,” one of them said. “I recognize its facial features. This beast is the android killer.”
“I am aware of his designation,”
N7 said. “We have all been strengthened since his attacks and have greater processing abilities. He is no longer a threat to any of us.”
“Of all the beasts,” the other android said, “Shah Claath has declared it to be the most dangerous.”
“You have erred to let him know that,” N7 said. “He was already too egotistical. Now his self-worth might become inflated to unmanageable levels.”
“Truly, I have spoken in error?” the other android asked.
“Yes,” N7 said.
“I…apologize,” the android said, as if he found it difficult to do.
“I accept your apology,” N7 told him. “Now refrain from speech in the beast’s presence lest you unknowingly grant him further data.”
“You admit the beast is dangerous?”
“To a limited degree,” N7 said. “But as we are their minders and the battle will breed its own dangers, we should not exacerbate our possible troubles.”
“That is logical,” the other android said. “Therefore, I will cease communications while it is present.”
N7 turned to me, and asked, “You wish to speak, Creed-beast?”
Someday, I was going to make every alien and android who called me beast eat his words. “I know how to increase our combat efficiency,” I said, “and I wish to tell Claath.”
“You may tell me,” N7 said, “and I will pass it on to him.”
“I have to tell Claath in person,” I said.
“The beast is stubborn,” the other android observed. “I have heard you speak on it, but it is interesting to witness the stubbornness in person.”
N7 glanced at the other android.
“Yes,” the other android said. “I will cease communicating for now.”
“Creed-beast,” N7 said, “Shah Claath has become extremely busy. He cannot halt his activities to speak with you. You must relate this data to me and I will tell him quickly and efficiently, wasting as little time as possible.”
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