by Sara Orwig
Suddenly Honor turned. “Let me get your presents!” She rushed from the room and returned, handing a large box to Jeddy. She left again and returned with a box for Dolorita.
Jeddy tossed aside the lid to his box and picked up a leather-bound dictionary that he ran his hands over. “Gee! Thanks, Honor. Gee, a dictionary.” He plunged into the box again and withdrew two small books. “The Gold Mine Mystery,” he read. “And Ghost Tales of Haunted Houses. Gee! Thank you, Honor,” he said, opening one of the books to read.
Dolorita opened her gift and lifted out a full red cotton skirt and a white blouse. “Ah, niñita, gracias. It is very beautiful.”
Honor smiled and kissed Dolorita’s cheek, and then she crossed the room to Luke to place a box in his lap. He opened it while she sat near him and watched him hold up a new leather vest.
“Honor, thank you,” he said, thinking of all the Christmases and holidays he had spent alone or on battlefields or in the bunkhouse with the men and how special this one was and how much more it could have been. He leaned over to kiss her cheek, his gaze holding hers. Her eyes widened, and she looked away quickly, a flush rising in her cheeks.
“And I have something else, Luke. This isn’t new, but I wanted you to have it.” She left the room and returned to hand him Horace Roth’s rifle.
“Thank you, Honor,” Luke said, standing up to take the rifle from her and hugging her briefly, relishing the moment as his arms wrapped around her. He ran his hand along the smooth barrel of the rifle. It would be a treasured gift because he knew how important it was to Honor. And he knew she had given Jeddy one of his father’s revolvers in the fall, so Jeddy also had one of Roth’s weapons. He sighted through the rifle and then lowered it to look at her.
Honor stepped back, turning quickly because tears stung her eyes. She crossed to the piano to sit before it and run her hands over it while Luke told Jeddy to look behind the tree for his presents.
Jeddy held up the rifle and then he discovered the book. His eyes sparkled as he picked up the large book and ran his hands over the cover. “Les Misérables, by Victor Hugo,” he read.
Luke gave Dolorita a new black velvet cloak and she stood and grinned as she tossed it around her shoulders. “Es muy bonita. Gracias, gracias.”
“Here’s your present,” Jeddy said, taking Dolorita something wrapped in a silk bandanna. She unfolded it to discover a music box Jeddy had purchased for her in San Antonio.
“It’s wonderful, Jeddy!” she exclaimed, winding up the box. As they listened to a Strauss waltz, Honor turned to find Luke looking at her in a manner that made her heart miss a beat.
She touched the piano, dazzled by his gift, wondering if he was hurting in the same manner she was and if he was any closer to sharing his past with her.
In minutes they all went to the kitchen for breakfast, and Honor was soon busy getting ready for guests. The day became a whirlwind, and she wasn’t alone with Luke until that night, when the last guest was gone. Jeddy had gone to bed with his books, and the house was quiet; Luke gazed at her solemnly. They stood in the hallway, Luke appearing so handsome in his black coat and pants and snowy white shirt. He had his hands on his hips, his coat pushed open, a lock of hair falling over his forehead.
“Thank you, Honor. You know I’ll treasure the rifle and my new vest.”
“Thank you for the piano,” she said, feeling the tension crackle in the air between them.
He gave her a bleak look and turned, striding to the kitchen, and in minutes she heard the back door close behind him.
By late February Luke hardly saw Honor. Her seventeenth birthday was coming up and he wanted her to have a party, asking Dolorita to get things ready and inviting friends when he saw them in town. He enlisted Jeddy’s help to keep Honor from knowing until almost time because he suspected she would object.
In spite of being able to run the H Bar R as well as her father had, Luke realized there was a streak of uncertainty and shyness in Honor when it involved being a woman. He didn’t know whether it was the loss of her mother through the years she was growing up, or the taunts she had to endure over her Indian blood.
But there was no denying she was growing more beautiful by the day. He gazed across the desk at her one night as Jeddy was sprawled on the floor reading and Honor sat with sewing in her lap. Her head was bent over her sewing while she concentrated, her hair tied behind her head with a pink ribbon that matched the pink muslin dress she wore. Studying her, Luke wanted her in his arms more than ever.
She rode with the men every morning and there were moments when Luke watched her work that he wanted to ride over and get her and take her home with him. In the afternoons she went home to practice playing the new piano, spending hours teaching herself to read music.
Jeddy’s birthday had been in January, and he was thirteen now. His voice was changing, and he was as tall as Honor, reminding Luke of when he had first met them and Honor had been tall and awkward, seemingly all legs and long arms. Jeddy was developing the same regal looks only more so. His hawklike nose was already giving him an arrogant look; his large dark eyes were as thickly lashed as Honor’s; and the midnight hair and dark skin and prominent cheekbones were those of his mother.
Luke sighed, looking at the figures before him and wondering how many times he would have to go over them because of mistakes when his thoughts wandered to Honor? He ought to leave all the bookkeeping and records to her because she did a better job of it, and, lately, he couldn’t add two and two correctly as he let his thoughts drift to her.
Glancing at her again, his gaze went over her slender figure, her delicate fingers, her long legs, and he remembered holding her in his arms and loving her. His pulse jumped, and he felt hot even though it was winter and it had been months now since that magical night. He raked his hand through his hair, and she looked up. Her gaze met his, and Luke felt as if the breath were squeezed from his chest.
Pushing away his chair, knowing he had to get out of the house and away from Honor because his control was slipping, he strode out of the room, getting his hat and coat. He still hadn’t moved out of the house because if he did, he would seldom see her, yet he knew he would have more peace of mind and so would she if he lived in the bunkhouse.
Luke stood smoking a cheroot in the cold night, thinking about the birthday party coming up in three weeks. He wanted her to have a party, to have some moments of fun in her life, but he wondered if they could get through the evening without disaster. Or without him taking her off to his bed. He swore and ground his teeth together, staring into the distance.
He couldn’t go through this agony for five and a half more years.
Three weeks later, on a Saturday evening, guests began arriving for Honor’s birthday party. Luke had a side of beef cooking and a pig roasting in a pit. All the hands were invited, and they had cleared the barn so some of the men could play their fiddles and people could dance.
Luke had told Jeddy to announce her party at supper the night before. Honor had stared at him openmouthed, and he had felt a rush of pleasure at her reaction.
“A party? Here?”
“You’ll be seventeen, Honor,” Luke said, watching her and enjoying her surprise. “It’s an occasion for a party, and I’ve already invited about fifty people.”
“Good heavens, Luke! Does Dolorita know?”
“Everyone knows,” Jeddy said, his voice cracking, as it fluctuated between a bass and an alto. “We’ve been getting ready for weeks. Dolorita has been hiding some of the food she’s cooked.”
“No!” Honor laughed, her eyes sparkling as she looked at Luke, and the cool facade she usually kept between them faded. “I can’t remember the last time Pa had a party. Jeddy and I were so little, and Mama was alive.”
“I don’t remember it,” Jeddy said.
“Will and Hank and Mr. Haywood are going to play their fiddles, and we’ll dance in the barn,” Luke added.
“My word, what will I wear?”
&n
bsp; “You’ll find something,” Luke said. “When we finish supper, you can talk to Dolorita because she has some questions about the food.”
As soon as they finished eating, Honor disappeared into the kitchen with Dolorita, and that was the last Luke saw of her until half an hour before guests were due to arrive Saturday evening.
He straightened his black coat and combed back his hair. Brown locks sprang back over his forehead, and Luke frowned, trying one more time to comb down the unruly locks. Finally he gave up and tossed the comb down on his dresser. He picked up a small bundle wrapped in linen and tied with a blue ribbon.
Hurrying down the hall, he knocked on Honor’s door, his pulse speeding up in anticipation.
“Come in,” she called. “Jedd—” She stopped, her eyes meeting Luke’s in the reflection in the oval pier glass. She was struggling with buttons on the back of her deep turquoise muslin dress, and Luke felt as if all the air had left his lungs. He swung the door closed behind him and crossed the room to her, still watching her in the mirror.
“You look beautiful,” he said in a husky voice, stopping behind her and placing the bundle in his hands on a table. “I’ll fasten your dress,” he said, aching to unfasten it. He wanted her desperately, and his hands shook when he reached up to fasten the tiny buttons.
Honor’s hair was piled on top of her head, a mass of black hair that puffed out around her face. In spite of their estrangement and her coolness toward him, she always wore the silver locket he had given her. The tiny links lay against her skin, short tendrils of dark hair escaping pins at her nape and touching the necklace. Luke couldn’t resist leaning forward to brush her neck with a kiss.
“Luke,” she said, her voice cool.
“Happy birthday, Honor,” he said, twisting a button through a buttonhole, looking at the silky chemise she wore beneath it, and wondering when she had stopped wearing plain cotton. Her dark skin showed through the delicate white material and he longed to bend down and kiss her there.
Instead he fastened her dress and stood looking at her over her head. “You’re beautiful. I wish your father could see you tonight.”
“Thank you for the party, Luke.”
He turned her to face him, her dark eyes gazing up at him solemnly while he reached over to pick up his gift and hand it to her. “Happy birthday.”
She looked startled as she took the present and untied the ribbon with her slender fingers. “Luke,” she whispered, lifting out a pair of ebony combs that had four small diamonds along the top of each comb. “How pretty!” She turned to the mirror, pushing the combs into the loops of black hair until the eight diamonds looked as if they nestled in her dark hair.
She turned to him with sparkling eyes. “They’re beautiful,” she said, hugging him.
He caught her, his arms going around her fiercely while he leaned back, turning his head to kiss her hard, all the pent-up hunger surging through him.
She clung to him, kissing him in return, her arms locked around him while he felt a tremor run through her slender body. Then she pushed against him and looked down to straighten her dress. Her face was flushed, and her hands shook as badly as his.
“Thank you,” she said in a more subdued voice.
“I got this, too, Honor. You may not want it, but you should have a ring,” he said, withdrawing a gold band from his pocket and taking her slender fingers in his.
She looked up at him as he slid the band of gold on her finger. “Happy birthday,” he said in a tight voice, then he turned and left, closing the door behind him.
Honor held her hand, her fingers sliding over the satiny gold band while she stared at the closed door and thought about his kiss. She loved him, and she couldn’t stop loving him. Yet nothing brought him one step closer to sharing his past with her. She had thought of all kinds of things he might be involved in. Was it a crime? She couldn’t imagine Luke involved in a crime, and what kind of crime would haunt him years later? Or was it insanity in his family, and he didn’t want to pass it on to his children? He had sworn there wasn’t another wife, and she believed him. Did he have some terrible illness? Every time that question came to mind, she ruled it out. He was stronger and more fit than any other man on the place.
“Luke,” she whispered, looking at her reflection, her lips that were red from his kiss, the diamonds sparkling in her hair, the silver necklace around her neck, the gold band on her finger. And she thought of the piano in the front parlor. He had to care, and he wanted her, his kisses made that plain. So what was it in his past that was so horrible it kept them apart?
A knock startled her. “Come in,” she called, and Jeddy appeared, his hands behind his back.
“You look pretty, Honor.”
“Thank you. Are you ready for our party?”
“Yes. Happy birthday.” He pulled his hands from behind his back, thrusting a box at her. She took it and opened it, lifting out a leather-bound book of blank pages.
“I thought you might like to start a history book about the H Bar R,” he said.
“Thank you!” She crossed to hug him, leaning back to look into his dark eyes. “Jeddy, that’s wonderful. Look how tall you are. If you grow another inch, you’ll be taller than I am.” She turned him and looked at their reflections in the mirror.
“My heavens, Jeddy, you might be taller!”
He grinned as he stared at her in the mirror. She studied their reflections and realized as they grew older, they looked more alike. “You’re going to be as tall as Pa.”
“Luke said I’m old enough now to have champagne at the party.”
“You be careful!”
He laughed and raced out of the room. She smiled, running her hands over the book and looking at her gold band. Would Luke be part of the history of the ranch? He was still buying land, and she wondered if he would sell it someday and leave Texas. She couldn’t imagine he would have their marriage annulled, then move within a few miles of her and settle; common sense said he would leave and never return.
She put down the book and went to join the others. By the time the fiddlers were playing, the barn was warm as toast and Honor felt dazzled by all the attention. And even though she was married, some of the men who were ranchers in the area wanted to dance with her and hovered around, talking to her.
The first time Luke asked her to dance, everything around her faded away. He stood in front of her, his black coat unbuttoned, locks of hair falling on his forehead. The musicians commenced a polka, and Luke swung her around the barn, their feet flying while she felt as if she were a foot above the ground, her gaze locked with his.
The next time they danced it was later in the evening and it was a waltz. Luke’s hand was light on her waist, his other hand warm as he held her hand.
“I think half the men here would like to take me out and drown me and ask for your hand.”
She laughed and looked up at him. “This is a wonderful party, Luke. Thank you.”
They danced on the hard-packed barn floor, Luke’s coat swinging open, his green eyes sparkling, and longing tore at her like storm winds roaring across a plain. This tall man was the only love she would ever have, yet he kept his heart shut away even when she knew he wanted her. He swung her around, and she saw Jeddy.
“My goodness, I think I’m going to have one of Aunt Lavinia’s fainting spells. Jeddy’s dancing!”
“As a matter of fact, your brother has been dancing all evening. If you hadn’t been surrounded by bachelors wanting to talk to you, you’d have noticed. I think, Honor, that your brother has discovered there is something in the world besides books,” Luke added dryly.
“Jeddy?” She turned to glance across the barn, seeing Jeddy laugh at something Henrietta Carver was saying to him. He said something in reply and Henrietta gazed up at him with a look that reminded Honor of a hungry calf. She felt a shock as she looked up at Luke.
“Luke, Jeddy’s growing up. He’s not going to be a little boy anymore.”
“Honey
, your brother hasn’t been a little boy since the night your pa died. You just haven’t noticed.”
“You think so? How could you have noticed that about Jeddy when I haven’t? I’ve been with him more than you have.”
“He’s your little brother, so you don’t pay that much attention. I’ve been with him when we’re working. I’ve been with him other times. He’s growing, Honor. He’s thirteen now.”
Only five more years minus a few months. Jeddy would be eighteen and Luke would dissolve their marriage and leave her.
“Honor, you should have been courted. None of the men here from the oldest to the youngest can keep their eyes off of you, and all the young ones want more than their eyes on you.”
“Luke!” she exclaimed, blushing at his frank statement, which held a note of gruffness. Then she realized that he wasn’t teasing her and he wasn’t happy about what he was saying. Never, under the wildest circumstances, could she imagine anything stirring up jealousy in him, so all she could feel was curiosity about his reaction.
They passed Dolorita, who sat with a friend, both holding plates on their laps and laughing at something.
In another half hour Luke opened bottles of champagne for a birthday toast, then pulled out a barrel of Dusty’s homemade brew. Honor opened presents, a lace shawl from Dolorita, a new hand-tooled saddle from Dusty and the men. Judge Tolliver and his wife had brought her a bottle of French perfume ordered in San Antonio. People brought jars of jam and bags of sweets.
It was almost dawn when everyone piled into wagons and buggies to start home. Finally the party was over. Luke draped his arm over her shoulders and went inside with her. She wore the lace shawl from Dolorita and carried the bottle of perfume in her hands. The house was quiet—everyone had gone and Jeddy had gone to bed long before.
Luke walked to the door of her room and turned her to him, tilting her face up. “Happy birthday, Honor,” he said softly, kissing her lightly, his lips warm on hers for seconds, and then he turned to walk away.
