by Jesse James
The famous classical economist Adam Smith teaches us that competition increases the value of a scarce resource. You may need to seduce or invent a rival suitor. If other women appear interested in you, your value increases proportional to your scarcity. To really boost your attraction, force women to compete for your attention. Use the ‘double wine glass technique,’ hire a stripper as a shill or seduce an easier mark to stimulate (or simulate) female competition.
Classical economics explains that as demand increases relative to supply, value goes up. Since your supply is always exactly one (just you), increasing your demand will increase your value. Begin thinking of yourself as a commodity, like gold or oil. Commodities have value because of their scarcity and desirability. People want gold bars because they are rare and beautiful. Copper is a junk metal, widely available and little desired. Are you a gold bar or a copper penny?
CLINIC: Science Takes Aim at The Mystery Method
The illusionist Erik Von Markovic (aka Mystery) is widely recognized as a leading figure in the pickup artist community. He even has his own MTV show called, appropriately enough, ‘The Pickup Artist.’ Although he lacks a formal scientific background, Markovic attempts to apply the principles of evolutionary and social psychology to seduction. Reading the Mystery Method, one quickly grasps that the illusionist’s knowledge of evolutionary theory is somewhat unpolished, but his overall seduction system enjoys a basic grounding in science.
In his 2007 work titled ‘The Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women Into Bed,’ widely recognized as the most influential ‘pickup’ guide on the Internet, Markovic argues for three phases of human courtship: attraction, comfort and trust, followed by seduction.
According to Mystery, the first phase of human courtship, attraction, involves exploiting evolved cues for what women find attractive in men. In the Mystery method, an initial ‘opener’ is used to begin a conversation with a woman, allowing the male to display his positive personality traits. This dovetails nicely with sexual selection theory, in which the first step of any human mating ritual involves female inspection of the male for attractive physical and mental traits.
Mystery dubs the next phase of human courtship ‘comfort and trust.’ After creating attraction, he advocates building rapport before proceeding with seduction. Research in the fields of evolutionary psychology, social psychology, and cognitive psychology confirms the importance of trust and comfort in human mating. In a study of courtship rituals in singles bars, psychologist M.M. Moore realized that males engaged in incidental touching, extended eye contact and swaying the upper body toward a potential love interest while talking to build comfort and trust. These were random people, not pickup artists, behaving in a natural courtship environment.192
Mystery also advocates the use of touch, or what he calls ‘kino,’ to build comfort and trust. In fact, neuroscientist R.I. Dunbar found in 2010 that non-sexual physical contact plays an adaptive role in human bonding. The act of touch triggers the release of a cocktail of mood-altering drugs, including oxytocin, endorphins, dopamine and copious neuropeptides.193
After creating attraction and building mutual trust and comfort, Mystery advertises the final phase of courtship as ‘seduction.’ He argues that women require at least seven cumulative hours of emotional and intellectual connection with a man before agreeing to sex, known in pickup artist circles as the ‘seven hour’ rule. He and other prominent pickup artists encourage mutual self-disclosure, during which the pair gets to know each other on a deep and intimate level. Most psychological research on relationships and attraction seems to agree with this approach. Psychologists note that women require an emotional ‘connection’ before agreeing to sex, and Mystery’s ‘seduction’ techniques are designed to create this (often false) emotional bond.
Virtual Reality
Imagination is more than Leonardo DaVinci’s mental construction of the Sistine Chapel. It is more than Stephen King’s phantasmagoria of the mind. It is more than your fantasy of an erotic tryst with a beautiful woman. Imagination is what it means to be human. Imagination is how we survive.
Evolutionary biologists believe that imagination is an adaptation which helps us simulate the effects of potential choices and options in our mind before committing to them in the real world. Before attacking a woolly mammoth, we imagine the various outcomes, ranging from a bloody death to a tasty meal. Prior to bedding a married woman, we imagine what might happen if her husband returns early from his championship boxing match.
Imagination uses a mental model of reality to make predictions about the outcomes of choices. Whereas other animals act instinctively or emotionally, humans often (though not always!) wait to act until mental simulation runs its course. After modeling the world in our heads, we have more information about the potential benefits or pitfalls of a specific course of action.
The ability to manipulate imagination is your most powerful weapon in the psychology of seduction.
Understand this: People live in their minds. When they imagine a positive experience, they feel good. When they imagine a negative experience, they feel bad. Take a moment and think back to your most painful rejection. Re-live it in your head for the next thirty seconds.
How do you feel now? Probably not so good.
Find out what makes your subject happy. Does she like surfing? Paint her a mental picture of the two of you on a beach in Thailand under the warm sun riding the waves. Tell her to imagine it and she will. Massage your subject’s mind; get her to imagine something pleasurable with you in the scene. Having accepted you into her mind, she is much closer to accepting you into her body.
Nobody ever knows the ‘real you;’ what they know is a virtual reality representation of you - a mental construct. Make a woman idealize you in her mind, help her build an image of perfection, and try not to wreck this image by talking too much.
Remember that a woman cannot go anywhere she has not gone first in her mind. Lead the way.
The Halo Effect
The halo effect is a social-psychology phenomenon first postulated by Edward Thorndike in a 1920 article titled ‘A Constant Error in Psychological Ratings.’ Thorndike and his colleagues found that physically attractive, well-groomed and well-dressed people enjoy tremendous advantage over less-attractive people. The halo effect occurs when one specific positive trait dominates the way someone is viewed by others. By virtue of his height, a tall man enjoys tremendous advantage over a small man, even if the shorter person excels in other aspects, such as mental acuity. More broadly, psychologists explain that if you like one aspect of something - a pretty website design, a nice suit, a cute face - you’ll have a positive predisposition toward everything else about it.194
The halo effect served us well during our caveman days. Back in the Pleistocene era, growing tall and strong meant eating lots of meat. Tall, strong men were successful hunters and probably worth listening to. Good-looking people avoided disfigurement from battles, animal attacks and crippling diseases, again making them models for the rest of the population. Snap judgments served a purpose; they helped us quickly realize if a person was worth learning from.
In the modern world, physical aesthetics should not influence belief, but we cannot simply flip a switch to turn off the halo effect. Numerous clinical studies have shown that attractive people enjoy greater success in job interviews, receive more promotions, and rise higher in both the workplace and the social sphere than less attractive people. Nobody said life was fair - and it isn’t.
One study revealed that good grooming of applicants in a hiring situation ranked higher than job qualifications, although the hiring managers vehemently denied considering the physical appearance of the applicant. Yeah, right.
In a study involving Canadian federal elections, attractive candidates received two and a half times as many votes as unattractive ones. Seventy percent of voters denied that physical appearance influenced their choice.
Even scarier, a Pennsylvania study revealed that
handsome defendants in criminal court cases received more lenient sentences than less attractive ones. The good looking criminals were twice as likely to avoid jail as the ugly ones.195
Life just ain’t fair. But what can you do about it?
Not much if you’re a dwarf with a triple chin. Asymmetrical, ugly or extremely short men will suffer from the ‘pitchfork effect’ all their lives. The ‘pitchfork effect’ is the opposite of the halo effect, where one glaring deformity dominates the impression you make. Sorry.
Luckily, most of us are (by definition) just average looking. Average people can use careful grooming and immaculate attire to create a halo effect. Go the gym, eat well, get in shape. Shun slovenly clothes, unkempt hair, smelly breath, a protruding belly or a messy appearance. Understand that your physical appearance creates a long-term lasting impression which dominates how someone sees you. As they say in the army, ‘be all you can be.’
CLINIC: The Science of Osculation
Why do humans kiss? Kissing has been observed in chimpanzees and bonobos, but not to the extent or frequency seen in humans. We seem to be unique in our desire to lock lips.
Scientists believe that kissing provides a woman with biological cues to the male’s health and genetic compatibility - those pesky MHC genes again! Kissing also helps a woman decide if she wants to escalate contact to the next level; good kissers tend to make good lovers.
Women tend to place more emphasis on osculation (kissing) than men. This makes good evolutionary sense, as women favor activities strengthening the pair bond, which kissing apparently does.
The importance of osculation varies depending on whether the partners are involved in a short-term or long-term relationship. In short relationships, such as a casual sex one-night-stand, survey respondents indicated that kissing was most important before sex, less so during sex and less important again after sex. Subjects said it was unimportant at all other times. In long-term relationships, people rated kissing as equally important before sex and at times unrelated to sex entirely.
Studies have also shown that women place more emphasis on kissing when they are ovulating. Women most likely to conceive need more information about the genetic makeup of their partners, which kissing apparently offers.
Seducers take note; women will judge you based on a kiss. Bad breath signals disease or ill-health. Pay careful attention to your oral hygiene, ensuring that your breath is always crystal clean. Brush and floss regularly, keep mints on hand, avoid smoking, and try not to eat foods which cause halitosis.
Apparently, at least half of all men don’t need to kiss prior to sex, but women definitely do. In one study, 53% of men said they would have sex without kissing, while only 15% of women admitted they would have sex without kissing their partner first. Avoid confusing your own needs and desires with those of women.
My advice: Learn how to kiss properly and make sure your breath doesn’t smell like a garbage dump.
Fools Like Us
We like people who are similar to ourselves because similarity makes us feel comfortable, putting us at ease. We humans lived in small tribes on the African savannah for most of our existence. Members of a small tribe share similarities in culture and genetics. Men and women from foreign tribes differed significantly in appearance and custom. Since wars occurred frequently, ancestral humans evolved a preference for people similar to themselves. Similar was safe.
Science confirms our preference for similarity. In one experiment, marchers during an anti-war demonstration signed a petition more often when the petitioner was dressed like them – without even bothering to read it. Another study was conducted in the early 1970s when young people dressed either as ‘hippies’ or ‘normal.’ Experimenters wearing either hippie or normal attire asked college students to borrow a dime to make a phone call. When the student and requester shared similar fashion, the request was granted two thirds of the time. When student and requester dressed differently, the dime was provided less than half the time.
According to the principle of assortative mating, sex partners tend to resemble each other in physical traits and behaviors, including breadth of nose, distance between eyes, length of earlobe or middle finger, circumference of wrist, lung volume, hair color, and eye color. In the animal world, this effect translates to a preference for close - but not too close - relatives. When scientists put a male quail in a cage with four females, including his first cousin, his third cousin, an unrelated female, and his sister, the male preferred his first cousin to his third cousin or the unrelated female. He also preferred his first cousin to his sister – even for birds, incest is just plain wrong.
Known as ‘sexual imprinting,’ animals are attracted to mates that resemble their parents. Mice and rats learn in childhood what to look for in mates, choosing by smell rather than appearance. In one experiment, scientists sprayed Parma Violet perfume on the parents of infant female mice. On reaching adulthood, the females preferred Parma Violet-scented males to unscented males. In another experiment, infant male rats were raised by mothers whose nipples and vagina were sprayed with lemon. When the young male rats matured, scientists put them in a cage with lemon-smelling or unscented female rats. Researchers found that the males raised by lemon-scented mothers mounted and ejaculated more quickly when caged with a lemon-scented female than an unscented one.
The ideal human mating pattern for long-term pair-bonding is to find a partner who is similar, but not too similar. One study by David Perrett showed people photos of faces that looked like them, noting that attraction increased until the photos became extremely similar to their own. Scientists have repeatedly found that people tend to date partners whose race, hair and eye color match their opposite sex parent.196
CLINIC: Assume rapport
Consider an infatuated couple dining in a restaurant. How do they act? As they enjoy their meal, they’re facing each other, leaning forward, elbows on the table. He laughs; she giggles. He raises a glass of red wine to his lips, and she does the same. They gaze deep into each other’s eyes. A romantic couple in love displays near-perfect rapport.
Salesmen often try to create rapport by mimicking their customer’s body language, likes and dislikes. Pickup artists build rapport in a similar fashion, copying a woman’s behavior and generally making her more comfortable through repeated exposure. But why go to all this trouble when you can simply assume rapport instead?
Understand the difference between attempting to create rapport and simply assuming rapport. A woman erects myriad defenses when she meets a man for the first time. Her unconscious mind bristles: ‘Is this guy going to rape me?’, ‘Do I like him?’, ‘Is he dangerous?’, ‘Is he sexy?’ By assuming rapport you can help a woman quickly and decisively answer these questions.
Act like you’ve known your subject for a long time. Tease her as you would tease an old friend. She may think to herself: ‘This guy is kind of a jerk, but he seems really sure of himself, he’s kind of funny and I feel like I’ve known him for awhile.’ Old friends tease, joke, and playfully touch each other. Assume rapport by acting just like an old friend, even if you just met the girl.
Teasing is a form of gentle negging, so understand that you are playing with fire. Assuming rapport could backfire, especially if you act clumsy and awkward (typical of most new seducers). If you aren’t confident in your ability to quickly assume rapport, err on the side of caution by building rapport instead. Discretion is the better part of valor.
Use body language to build rapport with a female, mimicking her behaviors and body positioning. If she touches her face, then touch your own face. If she crosses her legs, you do the same. If she smiles, you smile. If she talks slow, so do you.
Many sales training programs teach students the technique of ‘mirror and match.’ By mirroring and matching the customer’s posture, mood, and speech, the salesman builds rapport with his prospect. Salespeople call this tactic ‘selling dangerously’ because your prospect will never trust you again if you get caught
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When applying the ‘mirror and match’ technique to seduction, wait at least thirty seconds before mirroring the woman’s body position. For example, if the woman is sitting with her arms folded across her chest (a defensive posture), then pause at least thirty seconds before you cross your arms across your chest too. Use good judgment and, above all, do not get busted.
Since ‘similars attract,’ it makes sense to target women with whom you share common physical features. Look for women with eye color, facial structure, hair color and body type similar to your own. If the science of assortative mating holds true, then you stand a much greater chance of success when approaching women who resemble you.
Most used car salesmen did not major in psychology at Harvard, but they do know how to turn a tennis racquet into a powerful weapon of psychological control. A car salesman who sees a tennis racquet in the backseat of a customer’s trade-in vehicle may casually mention how he likes to get out and play every weekend on the local courts. He is building rapport. If the salesman notices a Lady Gaga CD, he might casually remark how much he’s looking forward to her new album. Used car salesmen turn random junk in a customer’s trade-in car into tools of control. Masters of manipulation, they expertly transform total strangers into good friends within a matter of minutes by emphasizing similarity. After all, how could you sell a used Pontiac to anyone without doing a little brainwashing?
Rip a page out of the car salesman’s playbook. Pay close attention to a woman’s preferences in music, her hobbies and interests, likes and dislikes. Increase your attractiveness by emphasizing your similarity to her. You can make a woman feel comfortable by emulating her beliefs, actions and preferences. Be warned that the used car salesman can easily ‘fake it’ for the short time while the customer shops around the car lot; once the sucker drives away, the sale is final. If you sell a woman a fake model of yourself, she may demand a refund, or worse. Fraud entails risk; you could be exposed as an imposter later on. If you spy a season pass to the local ski slope in a woman’s purse and mention your love of winter sports, you might find yourself on a black diamond ski run one day without knowing how to strap on your skis. Good luck explaining that one.
