“Whattaya need?” I question him suspiciously.
“I think we should send Elise away for a few days.”
“No. Absolutely not.”
“Boss.” He uses his hands to usher a calm down order. “I know you don’t want to, but we’ll send her to the brothers up in Chicago. She was safe there. I already contacted Blood’s sister. Says she’ll be happy to take Elise in. We’ll go secret. The boys are on alert.”
“If she goes, I take her. I’ll borrow Tommy’s Explorer. Have him drive it to the compound. We switch, one of the brothers takes him back to the station, as long as he keeps down so no one sees him leavin’. Don’t want them catchin’ on and comin’ after us.”
“Can do that. But we’ll need you back here. You get the night, then it’s back or he might figure shit out. He knows you wouldn’t be away from Elise.”
“Right.”
Duke walks out then and Elise leans her forehead against the dip of my throat. “I don’t want to leave you,” she says. “I’ll go if you ask me to…but I’m scared to be away from you.” The last part she whispers, tearing my heart out with each word. I did this. Every bit falls on me because I invaded her life, brought her back to live here, even when she tried so many times to get away. If I’d just have let her be. Shit.
“Don’t.” Her voice drops low, serious, admonishing me. “I know you too well, Beau. We had a rocky start and yes, I was resistant. Not because I didn’t want you, but because of how much I did, and still do. I’m your home? Well guess what? You’re my home, too. You said it yourself, we’re lifers. Don’t take on this guilt. Don’t take away my life, okay? Just…don’t.” Her eyes tear, the wet falling against my chest.
“We’re better together than we are apart, baby girl.” All I have in me to say, as I clear the thickness from my throat feelin’ her sad, hot, tears streak my skin.
Even though I know I should send her away, that she’d be better off to cut ties with me completely, we both know how true my words are. She might be safer, but she’d have no kind of life. Neither would I. Existence. Apart, that’s the best we could hope for. Because it’s all either of us had before. And as selfish as it makes me, I can’t go back to that. Not after gettin’ a glimpse of the promise land.
She relaxes against me, but I’m not through. After taking a few long, cleansing breaths, I do what has to be done. “We’re better together, but Elise, I’m askin’ you to go to Chicago.”
She gasps like I’ve smacked her across the face. So I hurry to continue.
“Not forever, just ‘til we can get a handle on him. I swear if you need me for anything, you call me. But if somethin’ happened to you, just… darlin’ I wouldn’t survive it. And I know how weak I sound tellin’ you. But straight up honesty, losin’ you would send me over an edge there’s no comin’ back from. You understand what I’m sayin’?”
She nods. The hair from top of her head rubs against my throat, assaulting me with the smell of that coconut shampoo she loves to use. Fuck if I don’t feel my gut clench. Fuck if I don’t know if I’m makin’ the right decision sendin’ her away. Because fuck, I got a feelin’ this shit’s gonna last longer than any of us foresee.
“I’ll go to Chicago, Beau.”
“I love you, Elise Manning.”
“Hollister.” She laughs through her tears still streaking down my chest. “Why get used to Manning when in a couple weeks it’ll be Hollister?”
I tilt her chin up gently, pressing a deep, slow, open-mouthed kiss against her lips, using my thumb to swipe away the tears from her cheek. Once she settles back in, it don’t take long for her to sleep again. Crying I hear, is exhausting.
My gentle shakes wake her, it’s still early, only six. But still dark which we need for this to work. Tommy left in Levi’s truck. I wanna be at least a couple counties away before first light hits. She’s disoriented, as she would be. I’ve spent the last ten minutes packin’ her bag, hatin’ every damn minute of it. Because I know it means we’ll be separated without being able to promise a return date. However long it takes, it takes. Shit. Life is gonna suck without her.
“Come on, baby girl. Get dressed.”
Her groggy eyes find mine as I hold out a pair of black yoga pants to her.
“You can shower at Liv’s place.”
Elise shoves my hand away though, shakin’ her head. “No. I’ve changed my mind. I need to stay with you, Beau. Okay? I’ll stay in the compound. Anything you need, I promise. Just let me stay here. Please.”
God she sounds so desperate, but she can’t stay. It ain’t safe. “You gotta go darlin’. I hate it. I know you hate it, but you gotta go.”
Defeated, her eyes cast down as she gives an almost unperceivable nod. Though she makes no move to dress, forcin’ me to squat down in front of her. I slip one pant leg over her foot, and then the second over the other, pullin’ them slowly up over her calves. Finally findin’ her legs, we stand together so I can tug them up the rest of the way. My hands graze her hips. She sucks in a breath, and holds my hands there briefly before lettin’ go. Without a word, I take her bra from the bed to slide it up both arms into place and secure it at the back, wrappin’ my arms around her like a hug to do it.
Elise rests her cheek against my shoulder, kissin’ my collarbone lightly then lifts her cheek and her arms above her head, waitin’ for me to drop the tee down over her head. Flip flops on her feet, we leave our room. Her bag in one hand, her hand in my other, she lets me lead us through the hallway into the common where all my brothers wait for us.
Levi, back from droppin’ off Tommy, walks up first. “It won’t be long.” Then hugs her.
Next there’s hugs and arm pats from Carver, Blood, and Duke whispers, “Take care, sweetheart.” Then more farewells from Toby, Blaze, Blue and a few other brothers.
We’re just about out the front door when Chaos stops us. He turns to Elise. “Be safe, sweetheart. Stay with Livvy, she’s tough, she’s got your back.” He’s got one of those model faces women fawn over, even with the bruise I gave him yesterday. Easy to read. And with the way his brows draw together, it reads he’s ten kinds of uncomfortable.
Chaos rubs his hand along the back of his neck. “I’m sorry for what I said to you. Boss is lucky to have found a good woman to love him as much as you do.”
My hand I slide around Elise’s waist, to tuck her under my arm, and shoot him a look to tell him we’re good, we’re solid. Chaos ain’t known for apologizing to anyone. So he has to lighten the mood by being a jackass about it.
“I can count on one hand the number of people I’ve said that to. You really should feel honored.”
“That Beau has had four other women to love him as much as I do?” she teases back.
I give her a squeeze.
“I’m just teasing baby,” she says, almost solemnly. The levity used with Chaos now gone.
“I know.” That thickness back again, and cracked. “I know.” I recover. And I can feel everyone’s eyes on us so it’s time to go.
***
We make the deadline, exactly two counties away, when the first light hits. Elise has been quiet, choosing to look out the window instead of talking to me. This cut cuts deep. We only have so much time left together for a while.
“Don’t be mad at me, baby girl. I’m not sending you away because I want to.”
“I’m not mad. Promise. Just tired. It seems since my father died, we haven’t been able to catch our breath. Right when we think we’ve got a handle on one problem, another crops up.”
“Do you trust your man, darlin’?”
She turns to stare at me.
“Do you trust me to take care of you?”
“Of course.” Elise answers without hesitation.
“Sometimes I don’t trust myself,” I tell her with sincerity, and not what I’d been intending to say.
“Pull over,” she demands. When I don’t, she says it again. “Pull over.”
This time I do as she asks, pullin’ into th
e next park and pool we come to. Park and pools are the lots for folks who live on those long winding roads off the highway, the ones where it’d add an extra hour on the trip to pick up. So they can meet on the highway to commute the rest of the way into the city for work. They’re relatively empty so early in the morning.
Elise climbs over the center console to straddle me, a knee to each side of my hips. She presses her hands to my cheeks, looking directly in my eyes.
“Sorry I got a little freaked this morning. If anyone else had asked me to leave, I’d have outright refused. But you, Beau, you, I trust with my life. If you say I need to go, I go.”
“Good to hear your faith in me.”
Hands continuing to hold my face, Elise strokes her thumbs along the apples of my cheeks. “Just promise you’ll come home safe to me. I lost my dad.” Then she stops to breathe, her eyes closed. When she opens them they’re bright with unshed tears as she searches mine. “Baby, you’re all the family I have left.”
“You finally think of us as family?” I twists her hair around my hand at the nape of her neck to tilt her head up, and press my forehead to hers. For some reason my breathing gets heavy, saturated with the emotion she’s just thrust at me. I’m the luckiest man in the world.
The corner of Elise’s lip tips up right before she leans in to kiss me.
“Fuck yeah you do.” I gloat, and kiss her back.
Our hands roam as we go at one another hot and heavy. She shifts on my lap which knocks her knee into the seat-back lever. When she lifts her knee to readjust, it catches on the lever and the seat flattens backward, thrusting her forward so her forehead smashes against the bridge of my nose.
“Shit.” I bite out.
Elise giggles as she pushes up from me with one hand while tryin’ to rub the bright red spot on my nose.
Though, I gently slap at her hand. “You gigglin’ at my pain?”
Her giggle turns to a full-blown laugh, and she throws her head back. But when she begins to crumple forward again, I put my hand to the center of her chest stoppin’ her forward momentum.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa—keep that noggin away from my face.”
“Does it hurt?” She’s serious, although serious with laughter in her eyes.
“It’s tender,” I whine. Then I rub the spot she’d tried to a few minutes ago.
The laughter fades from her eyes, leavin’ only the serious. “Let me kiss it and make it better,” she says. Then Elise brings her hands up to hold my face, and leans in to press her lips in three spots down my nose, lettin’ her lips linger for a long moment against the skin between each.
After the last one, I let out an exhaustive breath and tilt my head up so our lips connect. Like my nose needs any more abuse. This time it’s me who’s responsible, smashin’ our noses flat. Our eyes close. One of Elise’s hands moves from my cheek to finger the hair at the back of my neck, keeping my lips pressed to her. It’s slow and sweet. Elise’s kisses feel like life and happiness and future. I can’t get enough of ‘em, and know I’ll never grow tired of ‘em. Fuck, I’m gonna miss this woman.
Finally she pulls back, her eyes open again and again, she looks right into my eyes. I’m about to get broody again when she blows my mind once again.
“Thank you,” she says. “For loving me. Thank you for never giving up.”
20.
Elise
Beau rolls the Explorer to a stop outside Moe’s bar, double parking in front of a row of bikes. Several Lords spill out to greet us as if they’ve been waiting for us. It’s weird to see the Illinois rockers again. Seeing as the last time I had, Beau and I were in a completely different place in our relationship. As in, according to me, we didn’t have one. All my doing, running scared. I even kneed him in the balls.
At the memory, I snicker. Beau glances at me out of the corner of his eyes, smirking. I know he remembers it too.
The men stand guard while Beau and I are escorted inside. Smoke not as thick as the last time I’d been here, but in my opinion, still too thick for this time of day. I fan the air in front of my face, and cough.
Rick, the bartender, waits to speak until the door closes behind us, then he turns to me. “You’re a lot of trouble, little girl.”
Then with a chin lift to Beau, Rick asks him, “Sure you’re not ready for some new snapper?”
I gasp, first from being called such a derogatory word as ‘snapper’—as if I have nothing more to offer than what’s between my legs—and second because, well, I finally admitted to Beau that I love him, and thirdly, this isn’t my fault. Beau predictably pins him with the death glare of all death glares.
Rick holds up his hands like he’s surrendering. “Hey, I’m just saying, plenty of pussy to fuck without all the headache.”
“Keep sayin’ it, and you won’t have to worry about my headaches ‘cuz you’ll be dead. Got me?” Then Beau turns to me. “We’re waitin’ on Liv. Got some business to discuss with the brothers in back. Stay here, yeah?”
“Yeah, baby,” I answer, because this time, I’m not about outrunning Beau, but am all about staying safe and alive.
Very suddenly he fists a handful of my hair to pull me in for a brief, yet highly expressive kiss. Not one of his sweet ones from this morning, but more possessive to show these men exactly what they’re in charge of protecting.
Yes, I get all that from a kiss.
Then just as abruptly he drops his hand and walks out of the main bar area to a room off the back of the bar, by the hallway leading to the restrooms. And he does it leaving me breathless for a moment until a snicker has me recovering quickly.
“I’m Crass.” The snickering man introduces himself.
“No doubt.” Slips out without my meaning it to. Me and my mouth. But luckily he barks out a laugh in lieu of causing me bodily harm.
“You got looks and sass.” The jerk reaches out to run his thumb over my lips. “Can’t tell you how badly I wanna fuck that mouth right now.”
“Um…” Before he gets a wild hair to act on his desire to violate my lips, I slowly back away from him.
“Don’t worry. You’re the founding chapter VP’s old lady, you’re safe. Doesn’t mean I can’t fantasize.”
“I’d rather you didn’t, if it’s all the same. Beau—erm—Boss is the only one who gets to have relations with any part of me, and he’d probably break your neck for looking twice my way.”
He laughs again. “Beau? Seems I really mistook the situation.”
“Uh, how did you take the situation?”
“Thought maybe you started as a piece who worked her way up the ranks. Did your time as a hot mama. If the gash is good enough.”
Dear God, what is wrong with these men? I found snapper bad enough, but gash? That’s reprehensible. “I take offense to the term gash, and I was never a piece or hot mama. Never.”
“Can see that now. A hot mama, even elevated to old lady, would never call Boss by his given name. Now you’re really safe. You girlie, just earned my personal protection.”
“Why? If you don’t mind me asking?”
“Let’s just say I know a little about having it and having it taken away.”
I understand a great deal about this man now. “Sorry,” I tell him with nothing else to say, because I am.
But he doesn’t answer me, instead turns to slam the whiskey Rick had slid on the bar next to him while we were talking.
His signal to the end of our conversation. But now having had it, I feel safer being here until Beau can bring me back home.
We only sit silent for about five minutes when Livvy walks in. Same gorgeous strawberry blonde locks as before, but today, as compared to how she’d dressed the first time we met, she’s dressed down. In a pair of dark jeans, which make her butt look fabulous.
And I know I’m not the only one who thinks it, as every pair of eyes left in the bar follows that butt as it makes the walk toward me. The woman paired those jeans with a black leather halter top not even long
enough to cover her abs, and black biker boots. She just rewrote the definition of hot while here I am, standing at the bar wearing an oversized tee and yoga pants.
“Girl, we have a lot of catch up coming.” This is how she greets me. It’s nice to see her again, though I wish our reunion could be under better circumstances. Thin, toned arms wrap around me once she reaches me.
“Yes, I guess we do.”
“So I guess this means Beau doesn’t have to die?”
That garners a laugh, an actual happy memory of me and Liv singing karaoke. I know she’s remembering too, as the smile spreads wide across her face and the high-pitched chipmunk laugh follows.
“No,” I tell her. “No, I really don’t want Beau dead. I shouldn’t have fought it, but I was scared. In my experience, it was easier to try to dislike him, than to admit I had feelings for him, which five years ago, ended in hurt. A whole lot of hurt.”
“But you’ve stopped fighting it?” The tone of our conversation turns.
“Yeah. He had to remind me that he’s worth taking a chance on again.”
“Take it he is.”
“Liv, he’s so worth it, I feel stupid for having fought it for as long as I did.”
She opens her mouth to respond but the men take that opportunity to file out of the back room, Beau in the lead, beelining straight for me. Only once he takes me fully into his arms does he acknowledge Livvy with a chin lift. “Liv.”
“Hey Bossman. Good to see you again.”
“Wish it was for shits and giggles. Thanks for takin’ my girl in.”
“Always…always.”
“Boss.” The president of the Illinois chapter approaches us. The patch on his cut says Tag, which I heard the men back home talking one day about his accomplishments. Apparently Tag is short for Toe Tag, making said accomplishments quite clear. Glad he’s on our side. “Boys don’t have all day. You got the escort now. The women need to leave the condo, they take a man with them. Crass here just volunteered. He’s a good man. Knows his shit. He’ll stay with them at all times. He’ll call backup for any outdoor excursions.”
Lady Sings the Blues Page 20
