by Jody Holford
“I’m done now. I want you to stay. Are you hungry?”
She leaned back and looked up at him. “I could eat more pizza.”
His grin likely matched her own. “Me too. Want to watch a movie?”
“Do I get to pick?”
He pressed his forehead to hers. “This can work one of two ways: we can compromise and choose together or you can choose this time, but do it carefully, because the next one will be my choice completely.”
Next time? The butterflies woke up again and swirled around in her stomach. “Hmm. Tough choice. Let’s see what’s available first.”
His phone buzzed. He glanced at the desk and then back at her. She could feel the tension seep into his back. Megan wanted him to have more balance, for his own good and Charlie’s. But she would never try to change who he was.
Going up on tiptoe, she kissed him, then stepped back. “You deal with that. I’ll get the pizza and turn on the TV.”
Warmth blazed in his eyes. He nodded and pulled her back for one more kiss.
Compromise wasn’t so hard. Scrolling through Netflix, she hovered over the latest romance release. When she pressed play, she told herself that his reaction to watching it did not dictate his feelings, but still, she watched him closely.
Her chest tightened when she saw him roll his eyes, but he pulled her close and smiled at her indulgently. That’s a fair reaction. You’d have done the same if he picked some typical guy flick. As the movie started, she tried to keep reality front and center, but it was hard with Adam wrapped around her.
“Why do you like these cheesy things?” She’d have been bothered by the question—attributing it to his cynical nature—if he hadn’t sounded so curious.
“They make me feel happy.”
“But you know…life isn’t like one of these movies, right?”
Leaning into his chest, her arm wrapped around his stomach, she refused to look at him. “Maybe not entirely, but that feeling of…hope, that there’s someone for everyone no matter what you’ve been through? I think that’s real.”
Adam’s fingers trailed over her skin. She could separate reality from fiction, but that didn’t mean she had to stop wanting the fairy tale. She just had to stop letting herself want it with him. You don’t. You’re confusing sex—really good sex—for something more.
“I want to watch a movie that takes place after the happy ending. A movie that shows what happens after the guy bares his soul and gives up everything for the woman,” he said quietly.
This time she did lean back. Maybe it wasn’t Adam’s lack of faith in finding happiness that bothered her so much but his belief that it couldn’t last. If they were doing this, maybe they could each take something away from being together.
“She saves him right back,” Megan said.
He scrunched his eyebrows. “What?”
“Pretty Woman?”
He shook his head, and her mouth dropped open. “You’ve never watched Pretty Woman?”
“Uh, no. I’m actually not much of a movie buff. Romance or otherwise.”
She shook her head. “That’s your problem, Klein. Perhaps if you’d had a little more Julia Roberts, Ryan Reynolds, and Sandra Bullock in your life, you’d have a better outlook.”
She kept her tone teasing, deciding she wasn’t here to change who he was. They’d both gone into this knowing what the other person wanted down the line. And if she couldn’t have forever with him, she was damn sure making the most of right now.
Going up on her knees, she straddled his lap, blocking the television from his view. His hands went to her hips, squeezing, and the smile that lit his face sent waves of excitement through her body.
Leaning in, she kissed him softly, trying to keep it light and fun. His hands moved up along her body, lifting her shirt on the way.
“I’m not the kind of guy who wants to be saved back,” he whispered, his tone so solemn it ripped little holes in her heart.
“I know,” she whispered. And as long as she knew—as long as she didn’t forget—they could do this. She thought of her favorite quote from Alice in Wonderland and smiled.
How long is forever? Sometimes, just one second.
Later, when they lay on their sides facing each other with just a sliver of moonlight washing over them, Megan felt both content and on edge. Happy and a little sad. Excited, but cautious. Wary, but…hopeful.
“You’re very quiet,” Adam said in the darkness.
She rolled onto her other side and smiled when he moved in to press his front to her back. His arm went around her, and she curved into him. “It just…feels a bit strange. I mean, the arcade, then pizza was one thing, but this. I couldn’t have predicted this.”
His hand flattened against her upper stomach, his fingertips grazing her breasts. Sensual, but also sweet and…nearly familiar. Like it was right. But it isn’t. He doesn’t want this with you.
Adam lifted his head and pressed his lips to her cheek. “Me neither. But I’m not sorry. Are you?”
She couldn’t be sorry for this. “No. I’m not.”
She put her hand over his and inched closer until only the thin layer of clothing they both wore was all that would fit between their bodies.
She’d think of it as a gift, something she’d be able to revisit in her mind over and over again. Would he? When he found his checklist ideal mate? Would he think of this moment? The sound of their combined breaths and the quiet of the house? The feel of her against him? She fell asleep wondering these things and feeling surrounded, cared for, and desired. It was everything she hoped to find. With a man who didn’t want the same things as her.
…
Megan woke to a quiet shuffling and saw that Adam was hunched over, one knee up, pulling on a sock. She smiled into the quiet morning light that came through the window.
“Hey,” she said, her voice thick.
“Hi. I was trying not to wake you,” he whispered.
“By doing a sock hop?”
His boyish grin sent a shot of lust straight through her, jolting her not-even-awake brain.
“Something like that. I have to get to work,” he said.
As if she didn’t know. He wasn’t acting weird—or maybe she wasn’t awake enough to spot it yet. Sock on, he came to the bed, leaned over, and kissed her forehead. In a rush? He’d already dressed, and his hair was done. How long had he been awake? Her hand went to her hair as he straightened and smoothed out his tie.
“I’ll, uh, see you later?”
Okay. Maybe he was being weird. Maybe she’d never had a one-night stand, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t roll with it. Considering last night had been one of the best of her life, she wouldn’t take it back for anything. Even if Adam’s regret and misgivings had surfaced in his sleep. Be carefree, relaxed. You’re fine. Show him you’re fine with one night.
“Probably, since I live in your garage and take care of your son,” she said.
His eyes widened, but then he smiled again. “Both true.”
“Have a good day at work,” she said, forcing a smile onto her lips.
“Megan—”
No, no, no, no, no. She could handle being casual about it, but she couldn’t listen to him tell her all of the reasons why it couldn’t be more.
She interrupted whatever he was going to say by flinging back the covers. “Whoa, look at the time.”
Glancing around, she saw the time was not displayed anywhere. “I need to shower and get dressed. You should head out.”
“All right, but—”
Had she thought it through, she would have realized playing it cool was a lot harder in her underwear, but she was out of the bed and standing beside it before that occurred to her.
“Thanks again for the arcade, and pizza, and the…uh—the…” Oh my God. Stop talking.
Adam watched her with a strange expression, a half smile on his lips. “The sex?”
Pointing at him, she replied, “Yes. For that.”
&n
bsp; Please go. Please put me out of my misery. She looked down at the rumpled bed. “You should go.”
“Right. On my way. See you later, Megan.”
Without looking up, she mumbled goodbye. She didn’t move until she heard the door open and close. Then she flopped down onto his bed and groaned into the blankets. She wished she’d pretended to be asleep.
Chapter Sixteen
Adam dialed Dec’s number and cursed when it went to voicemail. Not a surprise, really, since he’d probably closed the bar last night. They definitely kept different hours.
“Dec, it’s me. Sorry I was a dick the other night. Swing by my office around noon and I’ll buy you lunch.”
He pressed disconnect on his steering wheel and accelerated as the light turned green. He needed to talk to someone—Dec was the only one he could think of. Or Megan. But he couldn’t exactly talk to Megan about her. Jesus Christ, last night had been out-of-this-world freaking amazing. Adam wasn’t prone to daydreaming, but regardless, fantasizing about her in any detail, it would have paled in comparison to the real thing.
Seeking a distraction from thoughts of her, definitely from thinking about the feel and scent of her skin or her lips, he turned on the news. There was no traffic on the road. He usually left early enough to avoid it, but this morning he’d beaten his own record. Not because he needed to get away from Megan and the colossal shift in their relationship, but because he’d wanted nothing more than to climb back into bed with her and spend the day there.
“Not exactly productive,” he muttered, stopping at a light.
But good God, it would be damn enjoyable.
“So now what?”
He didn’t know. Not entirely. Clearly, he needed to rethink his plan and his goal of finding a wife at least for the moment. Pretending he didn’t plan on taking her back to bed would be a lie. He might not be a romantic guy, but he was a good one, and there was no way he’d search for a wife while he was sleeping with his nanny. Fuck. You slept with the nanny.
And he didn’t even regret it. He couldn’t remember the last time something had felt so… “Good” wasn’t the word, and neither was “right.” He didn’t know how to describe what had happened between them, but he knew it was powerful enough to warrant taking a closer look at his plans for the immediate future.
…
“Mr. Klein, can I run through a couple of things with you?” Renee, one of his newer staff, asked from his doorway.
Adam looked up and waved her in. “Sure.”
He stood, rolled his shoulders, and then gestured to the small round table in the corner of his office. She smiled and brought the papers she was holding there. Young, probably not even thirty, she was a hard worker and a great asset. He enjoyed this aspect of his position—working with and guiding staff.
She spread the papers out in front of her, and Adam took a seat beside her.
“I’ve been going through the financials for the Vier Paper account,” she said.
Adam looked at the highlighted lines and picked up one of the papers, reminding himself of the client. Small office supply store who’d come to the firm after being bought out by a man hoping to expand the business.
“The numbers look good,” he commented, scrolling through the things she’d drawn attention to.
He spent a few more minutes going over the file with her and offering a few suggestions before he checked his watch. Dec hadn’t phoned him back yet. They were rarely at odds, but Adam knew things would be fine. Thinking of Dec made him think about Megan. Actually, for most of the morning, breathing had made him think of Megan. He sat back down at his desk and opened his laptop. He had files to review, emails to reply to, and he needed to check his calendar for the rest of the month and make sure he’d transferred all of his obligations—workwise—into his phone.
Instead, he texted Meg.
Adam: How’s your day?
He stared at the screen, waiting for the three dots to immediately pop up. They didn’t. Was she regretting things already? Their talk last night about romance movies popped into his head. Her belief that there were shreds of truth in those ridiculous plot lines was exactly the reason he should have kept his distance. But now, there was no way, even knowing her sugar-sweet, candy-coated ideals, that he could stop himself from being with her again. They’d just have to sort something out that worked for both of them. As soon as she answered her damn text.
Adam: Meg? Everything okay?
His fingers tightened on the device.
Megan: Everything is great ;) Was flipping a sandwich. Unfortunately, I do this with my right hand and am really lousy at texting with only my left. My day is fine, and so is the grilled cheese sandwich.
He didn’t always know if she was being completely sarcastic or just cute, but it made him smile.
Adam: You’ll join us for dinner tonight?
Charlie would think nothing of it—in fact, he’d rather it. Maybe he should tell Charlie about the school before he left for Reece’s.
Megan: No can do. Plans.
What plans? Staring at the phone, he took a deep breath. She still had a life. Sleeping with him wouldn’t have changed that. Though it’s sure as fuck changed something for you. He set the phone on his desk. No. It hasn’t changed anything long-term.
Once he felt like he’d respond in a reasonable manner, he picked up the phone again.
Adam: With Sebastian?
Shit. Shit. Shit. Way to be reasonable. He was not a jealous person. He’d been married to a woman whose job included kissing other men. He hadn’t liked it—not at all—but he hadn’t questioned her loyalty. But for some reason, he needed Megan to say her plans were not with her Tinder date tonight. Which reminded him, as soon as he made up with Dec, he was going to knock him on his ass for telling Megan to use Tinder at all.
Megan: No.
No, not tonight? No because he’s a loser with a stupid name? No because he’s with me right now? No because I’m the only man you can think about? Jesus.
Adam dialed her number.
“Adam,” she said in a voice thick with amusement. He didn’t see what was funny.
“No what?”
“No, I don’t have a date with Sebastian. If you must know, I’m going to my brother’s for dinner.”
The knots in his stomach relaxed. He leaned back in his chair. “Oh. Well, that’s very nice. Is Charlie home from his sleepover?”
“Yes, we’ve been packing for his trip.”
The knots moved toward each other again. “Right. I can help with that.”
“Not necessary. My job, remember?”
Jaw tight, Adam nodded, even though she couldn’t see him. Of course he remembered. But she wouldn’t be the nanny for much longer, so really, there were no unethical lines crossed here. Besides that, they were both adults.
“I need to get back to work,” he said.
“You called me.”
He had. Why? He didn’t like to take time for personal calls during the day. “I did. I…” What? Wanted to hear her voice? Have her confirm that she wasn’t Tinder-hopping this evening?
Sitting up, feeling oddly out of sorts, he tapped a hand on his desk. “Dinner tomorrow night would be nice. Charlie would like that.”
The silence made his fingers curl into a fist.
“Uh, you have a date tomorrow. Oh, don’t put any more in that bag, Charlie. It won’t close, honey. Just wait for me. Adam? I’m sorry. I have to go. Have a good night.”
Have a good night? He’d see her when he got home. She’d hung up without letting him say another thing. Mouth hanging open, he stared at the screen. She thought he was going on his date with Emily after last night? Shit! Emily. He needed to contact her. She’d been lovely. Funny, charming to talk to, and very physically attractive. Had he not lost himself in Megan last night, he’d probably look forward to meeting up with her again. But until he figured this thing out between him and Megan, he didn’t believe it was fair to lead someone else on.
<
br /> Sending a quick text to her to cancel, he opened his email and read through a few. Instead of replying to the most important one, he sent a quick one to Megan.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Dinner
His fingers hovered over the keyboard. He had no right to ask anything of her. But something inside him craved an unfamiliar need for reassurance. For something to tell him last night hadn’t only blown his mind, but hers as well. Showing vulnerability had never worked out well for him in the past. But he had a limited time frame to be with Megan, and he didn’t want to waste it. He…needed her.
Megan,
I might not need to be saved back, but I need other things…mostly to know you want to see me again. I need to touch you. And kiss you. Soft. Hard. Slow. Fast. The only plans I have tomorrow night include you.
Adam
There. That ought to make it clear where his thoughts were. He pressed send and immediately felt like his heart could implode. It was beating out of control. Could someone induce their own heart attack through stupidity? What the hell had he done? Could he undo an email? What was he thinking?
His email pinged, and a small bead of sweat formed at his temple.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Re: Subject: Dinner
Adam,
I will clear my schedule tomorrow to ensure all of your needs are met. I may have a few of my own.
Megan
p.s. Unexpected sexy emails count for bonus points. Well played, Klein.
Holy. Shit. Adam glanced up from the screen, unable to hold back his grin. Anticipation made him shaky. Had he ever needed—wanted—Reece like this? He’d wanted to make it work, mostly because of Charlie. But even in the beginning, he’d never felt this bone-searing heat, the marrow-deep desire he did for Megan. Because it’s fleeting. It’s temporary. Thinking it could be more scared the hell out of him. Stop daydreaming and get to work.
It wasn’t easy, but he managed to do just that for most of the day. When he left work that evening, Declan still hadn’t called. He swung by the pub on his way home.
