Alanna groaned. “Let me have my bath, and I’ll take them afterward,” she muttered.
The warm water revived her slightly. Dressed in a warm flannel shirt, she stepped from the steamy bathroom into his bedroom. Matt was there waiting with several pills and a glass of water. Alanna wrinkled her nose, taking them without further protest. Urging her into the bed, Matt drew up the fleecy quilts and shut off all but the bathroom light. “Go to sleep, honey. I’ll be nearby if you need me. “I’ve got a few phone calls to make.”
Alanna nodded wearily, her eyelids feeling like lead weights. One part of her longed for his embrace, but her body needed sleep. In moments, she had spiraled into a dreamless world, content.
* * *
She had no idea how long she slept, but when she awoke, Matt was sitting on the side of the bed watching her. He offered her an encouraging smile, reaching out and touching her damp forehead.
“Your fever’s down,” he said, taking a cool cloth and gently dabbing it against her cheeks and neck. “How do you feel?”
Her mouth tasted gummy. “Better,” she managed. “I’m thirsty….”
He nodded and got up, pouring some orange juice into a glass. Coming back to the bed, he slipped his arm beneath her shoulders, drawing her upward. Alanna rested against his body, drinking the cool, sweet liquid. Matt put the glass on the bedstand, cradling her within his arms.
“Better?”
She nodded, closing her eyes, needing his closeness. “I had horrible nightmares….”
“I know, honey, you’ve been delirious the last seven hours.” He touched her shirt. “Let’s get you into some dry clothing, you’ve soaked everything.” She nodded mutely, unprotesting as he wrapped her in a dry blanket and then carried her into the living room. A huge gray dog sat near the couch where he placed her. Alanna’s eyes widened in alarm.
“That’s Megan,” he explained. “She’s been watching over you, too. Just lie here until I can get the sheets changed and find a pair of pajamas for you.” He tucked her in, making sure she was comfortable. Straightening up, he looked over at the Irish wolfhound. “Stay,” he ordered the dog. “Megan won’t hurt you, honey. She’s just big.”
Alanna managed a broken smile, closing her eyes. “After all the hell we’ve been through, the dog could be nine feet tall and I wouldn’t care.”
She drifted off to sleep again and awoke when Matt carried her back to the bedroom. Megan followed, wagging her tail in friendly fashion. Alanna offered no resistance when Matt stripped the soaked flannel shirt from her body. Like a child, she allowed him to redress her in a pair of his own pajamas. Once back within the warmth of the bed, she felt better.
“Feel like some tea?” he offered.
“Sounds good.”
“We’ll be back in a minute,” he promised.
* * *
Matt sat on the edge of the bed holding his cup of tea and watching as she drank her own. “You look better,” he noted.
“I am.” Alanna carefully set the cup down on her lap, resting against the pillows he had arranged behind her head. “Matt, we have to talk. I’ve got to unravel everything—”
He reached out, capturing her hand. “While you were asleep I made a few important calls, Alanna.” He set his cup down, his face reflecting the pain she heard in his voice. “From what I can piece together so far, Jim Cauley went to Thornton and told him about us and how we had spent those nights together.” His nostrils flared, and he stared down at the carpet for a long time before continuing. “Cauley also told Thornton what happened to Tim over in Vietnam.”
Alanna gasped, nearly spilling the contents of the cup. Matt reached over, taking it and placing it on the bedside table.
“Why?” she cried softly. “Oh, my God, why, Matt?”
He shrugged painfully. “It’s hard to explain, Alanna. Men who go to war together share a very special camaraderie unlike anything I’ve experienced elsewhere. And because of that, Cauley felt he had earned an important place in my life. He never let go of the war, and I did. You saw that down at San Dolega the night he wanted me to go after those children trapped up on the mountain. For him, it was like going to war all over again. Another chance to get high on adrenaline and risk his neck in some dangerous condition. He lives in the past, and he expected that same closeness of me even now. And I can’t give that to him. Getting older means continuing to grow, not just living in the past. Jim just never left the war behind, that’s all.”
Alanna swallowed, her heart aching with new anguish. “And he saw me as a threat?”
“Exactly. The night you came over to talk to me he just happened to be there to feed Megan while I was down in Costa Rica. He made up the whole thing, Alanna. I wasn’t home asleep after drinking myself into a stupor. I had decided to fly down to Costa Rica to investigate that phony bank account myself.”
“And he never told you I had come over?” she asked in a small voice.
Matt slowly shook his head. “I just found out about it by confronting him on the phone.” He looked up at her, his gray eyes tender with love. “In my heart I knew you would never tell Thornton. I knew you hadn’t done it, Alanna. But I was so wrapped up in getting the information together for the hearing that I didn’t have time to contact you. I tried calling your apartment over and over, but all I got was a busy signal.”
“It was those stupid reporters calling,” she explained, her voice flat with distaste.
“The first week you were gone I found out where you were staying in Seattle and left at least three phone messages at the hotel. You never returned them.”
She touched her forehead shakily. “Lord, that was when I was holding those evening meetings. I would stumble in around midnight or one in the morning, Matt, and literally fall into bed. I never thought…” Her voice faded, and she stole a look up into his tired face. “I never expected you to call. I’ve been so jumpy ever since you told me the real story about Tim’s death that I never gave it a thought. I’m so sorry….”
He squeezed her hand. “It’s understandable, honey.”
She chewed on her lower lip. “Matt, what about Tim’s death? What’s happening because of that?”
“It means a full investigation,” he admitted heavily. He leaned over, kissing her cheek. “But you’re not to worry about that. First things first. Let’s get you well.”
“But—”
“Shh, it’s one in the morning and time for sleep. Remember what I told you before; we’ll live one day at a time. And right now all I want to do is take a shower and then hold you in my arms all night.”
She lay awake waiting for him, restless with questions about the turn of events. But before she realized it, she had dozed off, her body giving in to the ravages of the illness.
Alanna awoke slowly, glorying in the sensation of Matt’s arms around her. She barely opened her eyes, her head tucked beneath his jaw, listening to the even cadence of his heart and his softened breathing. She had slept against him, their legs tangled, her arm thrown across his naked torso. Drawing her hand up, she lightly skimmed the surface of his muscled, hard body, delighting in the breadth of his chest where the hair was a silken carpet beneath her exploring fingertips.
She felt him awaken. His hand moved around her slender waist, then pulled her hips daringly against him.
“Don’t wake a sleeping lion,” he growled, his voice thick with sleep.
She smiled gently, arching against him suggestively, her breasts pressed tantalizingly against his chest. “Is that an old Chinese saying?” she teased softly, raising her chin and kissing him lightly.
A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he barely opened his eyes. “No, an old Marine saying,” he growled, the reverberation of his voice sending a thrill through her.
Alanna suppressed a smile. She reached up and brushed back a lock of hair that lay against his forehead. “I thought that was a jungle bunny saying.” She tensed, waiting for his reaction to the derogatory nickname given the Mar
ines.
Matt grinned, gently pinning her beneath him. “You know, you’re getting pretty bold for this time of the morning. It must be a sign of recovery.”
She laughed softly, reaching up and slipping her arms across his shoulders, glorying in the texture of his back. “No, it’s love, darling,” she whispered, mesmerized by the flicker of light in the depths of his gray eyes.
He sobered, resting on his forearm above her. “Lady, I’m having a hell of a time keeping my hands off you,” he muttered huskily. “If you weren’t so damn ill I’d—”
She placed her fingertips against his strong mouth. “Then love me, Matt,” she pleaded softly, “love me as if there will never be another tomorrow.”
He groaned, sweeping her into his arms. Alanna was keenly aware that he was holding himself in check. She felt fragile and breakable, yet, at the same time, her spirit overflowed with joy. She trailed her hand down the line of his lean waist to his thigh. Matt stiffened, gripping her tightly against him.
“Don’t,” he groaned. “I don’t want to hurt you, honey.”
She relaxed within his embrace, hypnotized by the silver flame blazing within his eyes as he hungrily gazed down at her. “I’m not some kind of doll that can be broken. I want you, darling, like I’ve never wanted anyone in my life. We nearly lost one another,” she whispered throatily.
Without a word, he cupped her face within his scarred, callused hands, his mouth descending in a fiery kiss against her parted lips. It was heated, blazing steel meeting the sweet coolness of water. His tongue forced an entry between her teeth and she moaned with pleasure as he tasted her with tantalizing slowness. Simultaneously, his hand traced the curve of her breast, stroking the hardening peak like a feather. She whimpered softly, arching against his hand, begging to be touched and tamed.
His mouth left her wet lips, finding the tautness of her breast. Alanna sighed languorously as his mouth claimed the nipple. Her fingernails dug into his back muscles. An uncoiling warmth spread throughout her lower body, and she responded to the urging of his masterful touch. She felt his hand slide between her thighs, stroking the velvety expanse of her flesh, asking entrance. She was mindless, reacting only to primal instincts. The urgency mounted within her, and Alanna rose to meet his descending body as he parted her thighs with his knee. He slid his hand beneath her hips, guiding her upward to meet his thrust.
An explosion seemed to roar through her, and a small cry broke from her lips as their bodies moved in throbbing unison. A sudden wave of pleasure melted the last barriers of thought, and she stiffened against him, arching, a low moan coming from her throat as she threw back her head in ecstasy. It seemed only seconds later that she felt him grip her tightly, in the throes of his own release. She fell back against him, her body damp from the fulfilling climax. She tasted the saltiness of his jaw as she reached up to kiss him.
Matt groaned, pulling up the quilt to protect her from the coolness of the air. Their hearts still raced madly, and a trickle of sweat curved along the outside of his corded neck. She felt the pounding pulse where her cheek lay against him and smiled, caressing his arm and shoulder.
Words were a primitive form of expression compared to the tender touching and lingering kisses they gave to one another afterward. Her hair lay damply against her temples, and Matt idly ran his fingers through the silken threads. “You have the most beautiful mane of hair I’ve ever seen,” he murmured. “You’re a sleek panther, so graceful and lovely….”
“And you are a lion.”
A smile teased one corner of his mouth. “Not a jungle bunny?” he teased warmly.
She opened her eyes, laughter sparkling in them. “No one would dare accuse you of being anything less than a complete man, believe me,” she said earnestly, reaching up and stroking his rough cheek. When she thought of how she had nearly lost him, her eyes must have darkened, because his smile faded.
He gently erased the small lines that had gathered on her brow with his thumb. “A penny for your thoughts, honey?”
“It’s nothing….”
“Anything that suddenly makes you look like that isn’t ‘nothing.’ Now, what is it?”
She snuggled into his arms and he lay back, bringing her against him. Absently, she touched the curling, damp hair on his chest, trying to assemble her scattered thoughts.
“These next few weeks aren’t going to be easy,” she murmured, her eyes moving upward, meeting his gaze.
He exhaled slowly, running his fingers through her hair in a caressing motion. “No, they aren’t.” He managed a partial smile. “Feel like getting up and eating breakfast? We’ll talk about it then.”
* * *
The sun poured warmly through the green curtains in the kitchen as they dawdled over a breakfast of eggs and sausage. Alanna leaned back against the rattan chair, closing her eyes momentarily. Already the phone had rung eight times, and it was only seven o’clock. It had been reporters calling to find out something about the impending investigation. Finally, Matt took the phone off the hook and left it in the living room. He poured them each a second cup of coffee and sat down.
“Are you sure you still want to marry me?” he asked, sitting down across the table from her.
Her heart leaped in response, and she looked up, lips parted. “More than ever,” she whispered, her voice tremulous.
He reached across the table, capturing her hand. “The press will jump on this, making us both scapegoats if they can.” He frowned. “I’m more worried for you than myself, honey. I’ve taken this kind of heat before, and to tell you the truth, I’m glad it’s finally out in the open. But you…”
She squeezed his hand gently. “We have nothing to hide. And we have the truth on our side.”
“It won’t be easy,” he repeated. “The press won’t attack you as much if you don’t marry me. We could wait it out—”
’No, I’m in love with you, Matt, and I want to be by your side during the whole investigation. Don’t ask me to wait. Please.”
He gave a rueful shake of his head. “I wanted to give you a choice, Alanna.”
“To me, there never was a choice to make,” she said. “You stayed by me when I needed someone to lean on. You gave me support without my ever having to ask for it.” She reached out, her hand resting upon his. “I can do no less for you. Isn’t that what love is all about, helping one another?”
He gripped her hand in response. “That’s a big part of it,” he agreed huskily. “And I love you for your courage. Not every woman would be willing to go through the hell this hearing is going to stir up.”
“It’s so unfair,” she whispered tightly, referring to the investigation.
“Nobody said anything about life being fair.”
She lowered her gaze. “What about Jim Cauley?”
Matt rose, moving over to the sink and staring out the window toward the open field that had been recently harvested of corn. “I had a long talk with him last night over the phone.” He turned to watch her, pain evident in the depths of his eyes. “We’ve gone over the reasons for his actions. Our friendship will never be what it was. Maybe time will help heal the wounds.”
She felt his anguish. His best friend had suddenly turned traitor, divulging their deepest shared secrets. “You must have conflicting feelings over what he’s done.”
“I do. I—” He shook his head, compressing his mouth into a thin line. “God, I’d never have thought he’d do something like this, Alanna. I mean…we’ve saved each other’s lives so many times in the past.” He shrugged his broad shoulders, looking suddenly older. “I guess a strong friendship is like marriage: there’s a fine line between hate and love. Jim stepped over that boundary.”
Alanna got up, moving to his side, slipping her arms around his waist and resting against him. “Maybe your friendship can still be salvaged, darling. In his own way, I guess he wanted to protect you from me and the investigation.”
Matt embraced her tenderly, resting his head again
st her hair. “I understand what he did, honey, but it’s going to take me a while before I can forgive him.” He kissed her temple. “Enough of this, we have happier things to talk about.” He touched her cheek with his finger, tilting her chin upward. “Such as a date for a wedding and where you would like to honeymoon.”
She smiled gently, encircling his neck with her arms, reaching up on tiptoe and kissing his mouth.
“By the time we get married and this investigation is over with, it will probably be around Thanksgiving,” he said. “We could spend the holiday up with John and Ev.”
“And we could stay at the cabin for our honeymoon?” she returned softly.
“Why not? Fishing season will be over with. Guess we’ll have a lot of time on our hands,” he suggested huskily.
Alanna took in the incredible tenderness burning in his gaze. Matt leaned down, his mouth gently touching her parted lips. She closed her eyes, aware of his heady male scent, the aura of strength about him. Despite the investigation to come, she wanted to be near him. Fate had brought them together, and now no man would tear them apart.
“I love you,” she whispered, her voice trembling with emotion.
* * * * *
Black Hawk pilot Sarah Benson is known for her risky flights to save lives and SEAL Ethan Quinn is just one more mission. But when she needs rescuing, it’s Ethan who infiltrates enemy territory, and her heart. Read on for a sneak peek of RISK TAKER by Lindsay McKenna, available February 2013 from Harlequin Romantic Suspense.
* * *
Sarah sat with Ethan, watching him gulp down his meal as if he were starved. She forced herself to eat because she knew it was going to be a long day. When he finally slowed down, she narrowed her eyes and held his gaze.
“You’ve been writing those poems and putting them under my tent flap. Haven’t you?” Her heart thudded because if she was wrong, she would feel foolish. Ethan stared at her as if stunned. And then a ruddy flush rose up his neck and swept across his face. For once, he was speechless.
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